FoxTrot123
07-03-20, 16:11
Hello, I have been on this board a few times. I have had HA my entire life - just a variation of my generalized anxiety that comes and goes, but the health anxiety is the most debilitating. I feel like THIS current situation has the most actual symptoms that add up to something and that has me shaken to my very core.
About 2 weeks ago I was at work and I had a "garden variety" headache, temples throbbing, very familiar. I took some ibuprofen and it got a lot better, but came back in the evening, and was still there the next morning. It gradually subsided throughout the day, but came back in the evening. Again, mild. Woke up the next morning and it was worse, maybe 5/10 pain scale, but again, subsided by the time I was done with my morning routine. This has been the pattern for the last 2 weeks. Pain gone (maybe a few twinges) during the day, coming back slightly in the evening, then a raging headache by 1 a.m. and I have to take meds in order to get even a little sleep. One night I made it until 6 a.m. before the pain started - I really thought I was on the mend, that night, but unfortunately the pattern just keeps on. The last two nights have been increasingly painful.
Here's the kicker: I also have pulsatile tinnitus. I hear a whooshing sound in my right ear, sometimes high pitch, sometimes low, more like ocean waves, but to the beat of my pulse. It comes and goes. Now, I noticed this phenomena about 3 years ago and spoke to my doctor about it. It was very strange and just came on out of the blue, one day. He told me as long as there were no headaches or other disturbances, it was benign.
But these 2 weeks the tinnitus has been markedly worse. My doctor is concerned enough (I saw him yesterday) to order an MRI with contrast. The tinnitus plus the morning headaches gets you the golden ticket for an MRI. I'm seeing all the ways this can play out in my mind...almost everything ends up with me disabled, or dead, leaving my husband of 28 years without a wife and my almost grown sons without a mother.
I haven't spoken about this with anyone other than my doctor and my husband. My boys would be panicked if they knew their mom was going in for a brain scan to look for a mass or other causes for brain swelling. The waiting is killing me - at this point the anxiety is worse than reality. I think I can be strong to deal with treatments as they are outlined to me, but at the moment I am just a mess. As I type this, my head feels almost back to normal, and it's hard to believe that as the night approaches and I try to get some rest, I turn into a very sick, possibly dying person.
Thank you for reading this, if you made it this far. I could use any support or good wishes you have to offer. I've been through multiple "this will surely kill me" series of diagnoses that all turned up as ANXIETY over something different but not fatal going on with me. This could be the same situation but it's the first one that has been so incredibly disruptive in my life.
Blessings,
Kari
About 2 weeks ago I was at work and I had a "garden variety" headache, temples throbbing, very familiar. I took some ibuprofen and it got a lot better, but came back in the evening, and was still there the next morning. It gradually subsided throughout the day, but came back in the evening. Again, mild. Woke up the next morning and it was worse, maybe 5/10 pain scale, but again, subsided by the time I was done with my morning routine. This has been the pattern for the last 2 weeks. Pain gone (maybe a few twinges) during the day, coming back slightly in the evening, then a raging headache by 1 a.m. and I have to take meds in order to get even a little sleep. One night I made it until 6 a.m. before the pain started - I really thought I was on the mend, that night, but unfortunately the pattern just keeps on. The last two nights have been increasingly painful.
Here's the kicker: I also have pulsatile tinnitus. I hear a whooshing sound in my right ear, sometimes high pitch, sometimes low, more like ocean waves, but to the beat of my pulse. It comes and goes. Now, I noticed this phenomena about 3 years ago and spoke to my doctor about it. It was very strange and just came on out of the blue, one day. He told me as long as there were no headaches or other disturbances, it was benign.
But these 2 weeks the tinnitus has been markedly worse. My doctor is concerned enough (I saw him yesterday) to order an MRI with contrast. The tinnitus plus the morning headaches gets you the golden ticket for an MRI. I'm seeing all the ways this can play out in my mind...almost everything ends up with me disabled, or dead, leaving my husband of 28 years without a wife and my almost grown sons without a mother.
I haven't spoken about this with anyone other than my doctor and my husband. My boys would be panicked if they knew their mom was going in for a brain scan to look for a mass or other causes for brain swelling. The waiting is killing me - at this point the anxiety is worse than reality. I think I can be strong to deal with treatments as they are outlined to me, but at the moment I am just a mess. As I type this, my head feels almost back to normal, and it's hard to believe that as the night approaches and I try to get some rest, I turn into a very sick, possibly dying person.
Thank you for reading this, if you made it this far. I could use any support or good wishes you have to offer. I've been through multiple "this will surely kill me" series of diagnoses that all turned up as ANXIETY over something different but not fatal going on with me. This could be the same situation but it's the first one that has been so incredibly disruptive in my life.
Blessings,
Kari