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mamaem
09-03-20, 16:08
I was around the forum a few years back when I had a lymphoma scare and found it helpful to be able to share in a place where people would understand my fears and not just dismiss me. Unfortunately, I find myself back again and possibly with even more medical reason to be concerned.

Over the past month I started getting muscle pain in my right shoulder and neck, which isn't that uncommon since I have scoliosis and was under a ton of stress at the time (my two year old son was just diagnosed with epilepsy). I was also having pressure in my head and face on that side and my GP diagnosed me with a sinus infection (although I wasn't congested) and prescribed antibiotics. I finished those but was a bit dodgy about taking them on time because I always forgot in the morning. Eventually I started developing a sore throat only on that one side as well. My GP referred me to an ENT because she was concerned I may have an absess. By the time I saw the ENT a few days later my symptoms had improved and he checked me out and said one tonsil was a little bit bigger and that it had deeper crevices than the other, which is fine and normal, and that it was probably a bit infected from the supposed sinus infection and would go away as I finished antibiotics. He felt my neck and looked and felt in my throat, but no scope. Said he didn't see any red flags.

Since that time (about 2 weeks ago) my muscle pain has come and gone and is now mostly completely gone. However, in the last couple of days I have developed a feeling that there is something stuck in my throat on the right side especially. My husband is dismissive, especially since we've been down the possible lymphoma road before and it turned out to be nothing, but I can't shake this. I am having some mild night sweats almost every night - not drenching, but definitely sweating and hot, which is unusual for me. I also *think* I feel a couple lymph nodes in my neck on the right side, though neither doctor has felt anything...but that was a couple weeks ago. Doctor ordered CBC and a few other inflammatory markers. Everything was fine except WBC were slightly elevated, which she wrote off as maybe the infection didn't totally clear so she gave me another round of antibiotics, of which I am on day 3 of 5. I think I need to see the ENT again, but my husband thinks I am overreacting. I definitely don't want to get sucked into the HA vortex again, well I guess maybe I already am, but I am genuinely worried and I have two small kids to think of.

NotDeadYet
09-03-20, 18:41
mamaem,

So sorry you are going through. The lymphoma anxiety is terrible. You are correct in that you are already sucked into the HA vortex as you "can't shake this" and you "think you need to see the ENT again" after seeing him two weeks ago.

Let's use some of your own words to ground you in reality as that's the only way out of your vortex.


my GP diagnosed me with a sinus infection. My GP referred me to an ENT because she was concerned
You have a very clear reason as to why you weren't feeling great. Also, a medically trained professional did their due diligence and sent you to a specialist.


he checked me out and said one tonsil was a little bit bigger and that it had deeper crevices than the other, which is fine and normal, and that it was probably a bit infected from the supposed sinus infection and would go away as I finished antibiotics
Said specialist, another medically trained professional, gave you the all clear and even told you that you're normal. Remember that an ENT is trained in spotting suspicious lymph nodes. He didn't feel any so you can trust him that there wasn't anything going on.


I am having some mild night sweats almost every night - not drenching
You understand that lymphoma night sweats are drenching, not mild. You have an infection as indicated by your doctor and you WBC. This can easily cause mild night sweats.


I also *think* I feel a couple lymph nodes in my neck on the right side, though neither doctor has felt anything...but that was a couple weeks ago.
This is where you really need to practice taking control of your thoughts. First and foremost you are not a medically trained doctor so you have no idea what a cancerous lymph node feels like. Second, a medically trained doctor who specializes in lymph nodes couldn't feel anytihng and/or didn't suspect anything. Third, "a couple of weeks ago" is irrelevant. Lymphoma lymph nodes for the most part grow quickly. If you are having to dig and feel around then you have nothing to worry about.

Take some time to read through the lymphoma thread posted by O_O on the Health Anxiety forum. She just went through an actual lymphoma scare and her symptoms are very different from yours and she was given the all clear.

I empathize with you as lymphoma anxiety is horrible but the only way to overcome is to challenge your thoughts.

Best Wishes

mamaem
10-03-20, 14:26
Thank you so much for your reply. I appreciate your help in pointing out my thinking errors. I think if I could get past actual physical symptoms I could probably convince myself to move on, and had done as much, until I began having discomfort in my throat again (one sided, one tonsil swollen). Because there is an actual physical symptom present I do feel warranted in calling back. I know how hard it is to get in to see a specialist so figure I can always make the appointment and if symptoms subside (which would be reassuring that it is not cancer) then I could cancel. In the meantime I've vowed to stop feeling my neck. :)

Gary A
10-03-20, 20:29
Thank you so much for your reply. I appreciate your help in pointing out my thinking errors. I think if I could get past actual physical symptoms I could probably convince myself to move on, and had done as much, until I began having discomfort in my throat again (one sided, one tonsil swollen). Because there is an actual physical symptom present I do feel warranted in calling back. I know how hard it is to get in to see a specialist so figure I can always make the appointment and if symptoms subside (which would be reassuring that it is not cancer) then I could cancel. In the meantime I've vowed to stop feeling my neck. :)

Lymphoma present in your tonsils would not be painful, the fact that it is painful is a sure indicator of infection or reactive swelling due to an infection somewhere in your head and neck.

Also, truly swollen lymph nodes in your neck don’t require you to go searching. If there were truly swollen nodes, they’d stand out very obviously and would be apparent even with a mild touch.

Trust your doctors, despite numerous sources trying to downplay their expertise they really do know what they’re doing.

mamaem
14-03-20, 19:18
Popping by for update. I saw the ENT again as symptoms were progressing. Feeling of something stuck in the throat almost constantly, neck pain returning. He was able to see tonsil stones so maybe that. Extended my antibiotic. Meanwhile GP has ordered a CT scan of neck. Of course these are tricky times to be navigating something like this. Hoping to get some better answers within the week. Symptoms might be improving, but not significantly. At this point I've been on antibiotics for nearly 20 days and not resolved. I'm fairly at peace with things since I feel like my concerns are being addressed. Most of the time I'm able not to obsess, but might just be because my obsession is being shared with covid. I have agreed with my husband, however, that if CT comes back clear then I lay all cancer fears to rest.

mamaem
18-03-20, 17:36
CT tomorrow and nervous. I keep thinking that this is a really bad time to have cancer. I mean it would suck at other times as well, but this is particularly bad. And of it's not cancer and I need my tonsils out I've heard that's awful, plus again, a really bad time to be having surgery. Still having symptoms though and answers are needed. Will definitely be washing my hands a lot before and after. 😬

ThirstyMMM
08-05-20, 03:28
CT tomorrow and nervous. I keep thinking that this is a really bad time to have cancer. I mean it would suck at other times as well, but this is particularly bad. And of it's not cancer and I need my tonsils out I've heard that's awful, plus again, a really bad time to be having surgery. Still having symptoms though and answers are needed. Will definitely be washing my hands a lot before and after. 

Hi mamaem, I hope all is well and safe to assume you got the all clear? Take care!