Working

[Star]

After about 10 months of being unemployed and depressed I finally got a job, 4 months later I lost my job because 'i kept making mistakes' aka my boss found out about my anxiety and didnt want me there. It was a part time job and i only worked 3 days a week, but i found that i was really stuggling - i really dont know what i am afraid of when i'm at work. I'm 23 and this is only the 2nd proper job i've ever had (the first one i felt i had to quit after six years as i received a written warning that i wasnt doing my job properly and that my 'problem' was causing 'emotional stress' on staff).

So now i'm unemployed again, I've not yet signed on to Jobseakers Allowance as A) i feel guilty and B) they're incredibly rude and i always feel pressured into getting a full time job.

Anyway i guess what i'm asking is what do other sufferers do? I'm finding that i'm now worrying about money and wondering what the hell i should do.

Are all bosses as nasty and unsympathetic as the two i've previously had? I concider myself to be very capible as a worker, i mean at school i was an excellent student with excellent grades, now losing both jobs because of their claims that my work wasnt up to scratch - i mean come on! the first one was practically a cleaners job at a salon, and the second one i was just doing data entry - its not like i had to do any rocket science or anything?!

Its really knocked my confidence and i was fearing being unemployed again because now all i'm going to hear from my family is 'get a job', 'why havent you got a job?'

I'm currently seeing a therapist as i was tired of waiting on the NHS waiting list to get help, this lady costs me £50 an hour and my mother is trying to convince me to give up the therapy and just get a job. I've also started an open university course which i do at home, i feel like i really want an 'at home job' but what can i do?

I dunno.... sorry for the rambelings.... just what the hell should i do with my life now?!

:shrug:

[bluebottle]

I'm in, have been, in very similar situations. I am afraid of work, but enjoy it when I feel comfortable there. Being bullied for 10 years didn't help either when I was at the Royal Mail.

Like you I pay for a private therapist and people say give it up, but there's no way I'm going to.

I am trying to get back into work with an organization called Breaking the Barriers. They help disabled people, people with mental health problems get back into work, they approach potential employers, make sure its a supportive workplace, will go to interviews with you, even shadow you at work until you feel safe if you want, and they keep an eye on you for as long as you need them to.

Don't feel your unusual Star, your situation is very common. There is help out there. Good luck.

[knightbabe]

There are supportive employers out there. Back in March I was offered a job but due to police check taking ages I was only starting on Monday just gone. I didn't make it. Rang the employer and explained the situation. I am now starting this coming Monday. I will be working 25 hours a week. The job is less than a 5 minute drive from my home, so I won't have to endure a long journey there and back. When I signed on for JSA I wasn't having panic attacks. Somehow I managed to force myself to the job centre once a fortnight to sign on. My situation was different as they were aware I had a job waiting for me and that I was just awaiting the police check so there was no pressure for me to look for a job. Also they can not force you to take a full time job. Just hoping that I won't be signing back on any time soon.

[Star]

yeah i really didnt want to go back to signing on - think i may have to though. I know i'll prob get a little bit more money as i was fired from my job, but i dunno what i'm really entitled to as an anxiety sufferer... I'm scared of ringing them up now.... They've always made me feel really bad for claiming JSA in the past that i never told them about my anxiety, just incase they told me to stop being stupid or something.....


bluebottle - is that organisation (Breaking the Barriers) just in your area or does it cater for all over the uk? I feel really stuck as to what to do now...

[50cent84]

hi star, dont worry about how many people look and dont comment, most people will be shy ;-).

anyways when i was on sick it was so easy and simple. tell them you are that bad you cant go to the depo. so then they send a person out to check on you(make sure your in) lol.

i was on sick for over a year and never went to sign on once, ring them and explain. your not the only person who is suffering beleive me. if there trying to make u feel bad then maybe thats what they been told to do then people dont sign on.....

anyways pluck up the courage and explain and im sure they will help you out. take care star

[Star]

i'm just getting really frustrated lol, was just talking to my mum about work and i was saying that i wanted to get alot better before i start looking for full time/part time work, and she told me to 'stop dweling, just get on with it' i said that i do not dwell, its more complicated than that - she disagreed and told me lots of shops are looking for people to work over the xmas season. Just great, stick me in a shop full of PEOPLE at the most busiest time of year! Yeah i'll cope great. I think not. I dont think the attitude 'chucking someone in at the deep end' is ideal somehow!

it just really annoys me that my mum has the attitude that i'm fine, yeah at times i do seem fine, but most of the time its a front and i'm absolutly going to pieces behind it. I know i should have more of a positive attitude, but at this very point in time i've seem to have gone a bit downhill in my moods.. dunno why but it happens... i guess.

gah. i know i'm ranting on but i get so so angry and upset that frigging 99% of the people i know/have spoken to all think anxiety/depression is a load of made up crap. I really wish they'd open their own minds just a little more and try to understand that people dont ask for this to happen to them.

/rant.



Anyway back to topic, i suppose i should ring up the jobcenter soon, what do i say to them *is nervous* i've forgotten what they asked me before when i rung up... lol do i just say ' ive lost my job and i'm incredibly anxious!!!!!!!!!* lol :p


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[50cent84]

star all you need to do is tell them what has happened. you cant work etc. you cant live of nothing, thats what the benifits are for. take care

[bluebottle]

Breaking the Barriers is where I live but these organizations are all over the country. Try contacting Social Services and ask them if they know of any, also speak to your Disability Employment Advisor, they are good. The mental health team should have some info too.

I agree, a shop job over Christmas seems too much for you right now. With support things will seem easier. Good luck.