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View Full Version : having a bad time - breast cancer worries



strawberrie
12-10-07, 09:36
hi, i'm feeling very miserable atm.:weep: I've been doing ok and not worrying too much about my health, but then yesterday i got an email from someone about a breast cancer charity where you click to donate. Anyway, i did this and then stupidly thought i would read some of the articles on the website, because i thought that maybe i have managed to calm down a bit about health issues.

Well i was wrong, cos i am now in a complete high anxiety state. I am on the verge of tears all the time and have managed to convince myself that i have breast cancer. I keep checking for lumps, even though i only just did my monthly check and didnt find anything to worry about, I woke up in the night with my heart going so fast and my breathing all weird. I am so upset about this, i thought that i was getting to grips with this, but this is making me think i'm never going to sort myself out. I had cbt a while ago and although it all made sense, i don't really want to do any lists to calm me down, i just want someone to tell me i havent got cancer.

sorry for the moan,
mag

JennyW
12-10-07, 09:51
Hi Mag. This is one of my fears too so I totally sympathise :hugs:

You must try and take some comfort that you are checking yourself monthly so you're being very pro-active. You are obviously very "breast aware".

when I'm on one of my scare-runs, I try and comfort myself by telling myself that 9 in 10 lumps are harmless and that treatment is so much more advanced now and that breast cancer isn't the death sentence it once was years ago :yesyes:

A couple of months back I was doing my monthly check and found a very small mobile lump in my breast. I didn't panic - just made an appointment with the GP. He was pretty sure it was hormonal and wanted me to wait until my next period, then check myself again and then come back and see him.

Well my period came and went - and so did the lump. I went back to see him to double check and everything was fine.

:flowers: :flowers:

anxious
12-10-07, 09:55
Mags :hugs:

this is my biggest obsession too and with October being breast cancer awareness month ahhhhhhhhhh! I'm just staritng CBT and really hope it helps me.
You know you've done your check and everythings ok. I know what its like to keep checking, i wake up some mornings feeling sick with anxiety and desperate to check for reassurance BUT if i do i end up in a blind panic, convinced somethings wrong and sore :blush:
Not much advice, but you are not alone
:hugs:

anx xx

happyone
12-10-07, 09:59
I can sympathise hun. I have obsessed about this in the past too. However, I found I did it when my general anx was high.....is yours? When i feel better in general, my health anx is pretty non existent. Often health an x is for me a sign of getting depressed. I realise everyone is different though.
:hugs:
Happyone
xxxx

Piglet
12-10-07, 10:18
Hun you know damn well you've just triggered yourself and that's it full stop!!!!

While yes it's good for us not to avoid info all the time it's also wise not to go out of our way to do so either!!!

You ask Ray how low I was on the 5th anniversary of the twin towers tragedy last year because I watched every single programme that was on about it - it couldn't change what had happened and I foolishly thought that getting as much info about it would help me try and understand it in my head - this can be good in certain instances in life but by no means all!!!

Apparently doctors when they are training get allsorts of fears and think they have the disease or illness they are studying and these are supposedly non anxious folk.

If you put an amount of people in a room for a week and fed them only on really sad and horrible images then measured their mood compared to another group fed only on comedy and uplifting images it would be no suprise the result would it!!!!!

It's not burying our head in the sand, some aspects of avoidance are not that, they are selective screening and make total common sense!!!

If you do not behave then I will have to take the internet off you and place you in a corner to do something clever with rafia matting!!!

Love Piglet :flowers:

strawberrie
12-10-07, 10:40
well to add to my problems, i now have a very sore bottom after such a severe spanking from Piglet :wacko:

thank you for all of you for replying so quick, i am in tears here and i have to go out soon so i need to try and hold it together so i dont have to pretend i have suddenly come down with a cold which has given me conjuctivitis and a sniffly nose. :blush:

i am definitely 'breast aware', much too much i suppose, i will look forward to october finishing so i can then become obsessively aware of another illness that i'm not already quite so aware of if you know what i mean lol!

happyone, yes i think my general anxiety is pretty high at the moment. theres been various stuff going on which has been making me pretty miserable, i just want to hide under the duvet for a couple of weeks :huh:

thanks all :hugs: , it does make me feel better to know that others feel the same (i dont mean i would wish it on anyone else), the worst thing about my health anxiety is that it makes me feel so alone :weep:

right, i'd better stop crying and get started on my rafia creation now or piglet will be very, very cross:mad: , and we don't want that to happen do we?

thanks :hugs:
mag

Janieb
12-10-07, 13:34
yes yes this is a huge thing for me I posted about it the other day. All the stats and numbers and stories freak me out! I have to stop reading because it drives me totally insane! I am with you on this one, good thing to do is check once a month so if you catch anything the earlier the better... But I can't wait for October to be finished.

Take care,
Janie

Piglet
12-10-07, 13:53
You know chick I cried on Monday when I was on the phone to the child tax credit people :weep: :blush: , cos they were making a mess of things and I had a really big bad cold and didn't want any hassle - this in turn gave me palpitations, which in turn gave me anxiety, which in turn made me cry, which in turn ............... do you see where I'm goin with this!!

You can never go far wrong with rafia love remember that!!!:yesyes:

Love Piglet :flowers:

strawberrie
12-10-07, 14:55
awww, thank you :hugs: janie, let's just grit our teeth and get through october! maybe there should be a 'health anxiety' awareness month some time :shrug: :)

piglet, i absolutely cannot believe what you said about the child tax credit people because i have done exactly the same thing! now i'm wondering how many people they've had crying down the phone to them. i was so embarassed and cos they record the calls, i managed to get it in my head that they probably would've played it at the xmas party on the loudspeaker to have a good laugh at their overly emotional 'customer':shades: i also cried down the phone to the double glazing man which is even worse cos he is local and whenever i see the company van i have to hide behind a bush or something :ninja: oh dear, what an embarassment my life is :mad:

:hugs: mag

Piglet
12-10-07, 18:16
Good job you and I don't live on the same road hun isn't it!! I don't look good crying at all (not like Demi Moore in Ghost) I go red and blotchy and do a good line in snot, which I tend to just wipe on my sleeve!!!:blush:

Love Piglet :flowers: