View Full Version : Devastated.....please help.

30-01-05, 16:50
We feel so distraught.
Please can anyone try to help us.
The story is my husband has been having treatment for just over two years at Derby Royal Infirmary.
He was knocked off his motorbike by a lady who ran a red light whilst he was living in New Zealand ( sorry to go over old ground ) this happened in 1999.
His right hand was shattered, they did corrective surgery in NZ along with physiotherapy, but told Jon that he would only ever have around 15% use in his hand.
Jon returned to England in 2001 and tried to get work here, he could not get work, under Health and Safety rules he was told he is a liabiliity with this next to useless limb attached, he cannot grip, cannot drive, cannot cut food, he cant even wash his own hair.
We sought medical help to try to get the limb amputated, to say we've been lead on a merry dance of disgraceful treatment is an understatement.
The doctor, understanding and supporting the need for amputation to enable Jon to return to work referred him to DRI just over two years ago, we understood that although he had his medical notes from NZ they would have to start treating him from scratch to fully understand his injury.
He started on what seemed an endless round of Physiotherapy, he did everything that was expected of him, and more, they even made him use a machine that tests his grip strength and putting him through the most dreadful pain, so much so that they had to X ray the hand as they thought the exersise had dislocated his wrist.
This went on and on, finally they realised that Jons hand is virtually useless and stopped the Physio fearing doing more damage to it.
We both thought this would be the end of it and the next step would be amputation, Jon had been to see a Phsychiatrist and he sent a report to the surgeon saying that Jon is in sound mind and understood the implications of such major surgery and in his opinion it could go ahead and he would see Jon pre op and post op.
Still they wouldnt do anything for Jon and after months of waiting they sent him to a Phsychologist, again an assessment was made and sent to the surgeons saying that Jon is in his opinion very able to cope with amputation and there was no phsychological problems.
The surgeon had mentioned that Jon could possibly be imagining the pain and the injury ( that was very insulting indeed and a tad insensitive ) but still we stuck with it and undrstood that all these things have to be considered.
All this time Jon had had various meetings with his surgeon and the physiotherapist, amputation has been brought up a few times along with corrective surgery ( which Jon was willing to try again, but after being out of work for 6yrs because of this injury time was not on our side )
So we waited again for a verdict on the Phsychologists assessment, we truly believed this would be it! we would finally get this done and by next year Jon would be back at work.....how wrong we were.
last thursday we received a letter telling Jon that his treatment was being terminated ( i can barely type this we are both devastated ) and the surgeon has told Jon to go back to see his doctor ( the very people that refferred him to them in the first place ) and see what they can do for him.
To say we are devastated is not the word, we've been through tremendous stress with this and for it to end like this is so cruel.
The surgeons knew of our financial situation, we've struggled so much, i have not been able to work as im suffering from Clinical Depression, this is very much due to having no money, being reliant on benefits and having to live in terrible housing, we were victimsed because of Jons disability and driven from our home,its left me with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which im at present receiveing Cognitive Behavior therapy for, the surgeons know all this.
Jon has been so polite and reasonable all the way along, even the physiotherapist has remarked on that.
What can we do?
we are going to the doctors this week to try to get something sorted out.
We feel so badly let down....to get so far and to be cast aside so badly.

30-01-05, 16:59
hello Moon,

I am so sorry to hear about all the stress that you and your husband have been going through. The way you have been treated and messed around is horrible and it is no wonder that you feel the way you do. All I can say is that I hope that it all works out for you both!! Do let us know what is decided when you next see the doctor. Take care.

Sarah :D

30-01-05, 19:26
Hi Moon

I am not sure what to say other than I am sorry to hear that news. I don't know how you go about moving forward with this one to be honest.

I bet if you went private they wouldn't have any issues with it would they? (I appreciate that you can't afford that).

I do hope the doctor can give you some advice and move this forward for you.


30-01-05, 19:33
Hi Moon

I am really sorry to hear of the ordeal that you and your husband have been going through. The way your husband has been treated is dispicable.

I hope the doctor's appointment goes well and there is some better news for you both.


It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

31-01-05, 10:15
Hi Moon

So sorry to hear about the way you and your husband have been treated, so much for the NHS eh!

I hope your GP will be able to try different avenues to help you through this .

Keep your strength up and ket us know how you get on

take care

Elaine x

01-02-05, 21:13
thank you so much for your support.
ive not been well since i posted, very anxious and panicky about our future, its almost too much to bear, we have to see the doc tomorrow, we've also written to our local mp and have contacted an organsation called PAL ( patients advice liason ) they are based at DRI and are in the process of investigating our predicament.
ive not been a member her for very long and feel awful that i cannot contribute much to the boards at the moment....everyone here is often in my thoughts.xx
time is taken up with trying to sort this mess out.
i feel so tired i just want to curl up and make the world go away.....but up to now im not doing too bad dealing with it.
Jon sends love to all here as well.
much love and blessings

01-02-05, 21:21
HI Moon,

No worries about contributing. Let us support you for a while.

Your GP can refer you for a second opinion and for you Queens Med at Notts may be the nearest option.

Its not surprising that you are both not coping well- its a huge shock but as things progress you will something else to focus on.

Let us know how you get on.


You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance

01-02-05, 23:16

Hey we are here for u so dont worry about us - we are not going anywhere

We will be here for you when you need us ok?

Give Jon a hug from us and tell him that we really hope he gets what he wants and needs very soon.