View Full Version : Suicide?
This is something that plays on my mind often, Not because I want to do it, It scares me so much, how can people get that low that they actually do it and could anxiety really make me that low?
A counsilor once said to me while you are scared of suicide you have no problem, its when you start to see suicide as as way out, thats when you have a problem, and I am scared of it, bigtime scared of it, Infact I can't even watch action films with people getting shot etc etc..
I suppose its one of them obsessive thoughts associated with anxiety,
Can anyone relate to what I am saying?
michellemumof4
14-10-07, 17:37
Hi
Sam your councillor is right its the fear that is keepin this thought alive, Like you I had these thoughts and NEVER acted upon them, to be honest someone who fears it as much as we do Simply woulnt and couldnt act upon them
Michelle
I know exactly what you are saying Sam. I used to be terrified at the thought that I would consider it an option. I was obsessed reading about people who took thier own lives, and I would think "did they feel like I do now, and this will progress to this awful conclusion?".
I now realise that these thoughts I suffered from were healthy in the respect that by fearing it so much, it would never be an option.
Jaco
I know exactly what you are saying Sam. I used to be terrified at the thought that I would consider it an option. I was obsessed reading about people who took thier own lives, and I would think "did they feel like I do now, and this will progress to this awful conclusion?".
I now realise that these thoughts I suffered from were healthy in the respect that by fearing it so much, it would never be an option.
Jaco
Yes I am the same, Its good to know I am not alone with this,
there's been many times in 3 years ive had these thoughts, planned it out so it would go right. Did make two suicide attempts one was half hearted the other didn't work. just ended up in a&e feeling "stupid"
What really stops me is "what if there is an afterlife" although i have no particular religion, i am spiritual and the wondering about "Out of the frying pan and into....etc ect !!! When i read about others having done it, its so sad , the most tragic , saddest thing ever . Luv Richiex
Anxious people are the last people to commit suicide. It's the strong types who get into a depression and don't see anyway out, that do it. The thing to remember, is that depression is always curable. You might not think so if you are depressed, but that's the way you think when you are depressed. But you do get over it if you get the right sort of treatment.
Tom
Oh Richie,:hugs:
I've been through it too. I've tried in the past too but Never again!
This is a very difficult question because I agree with both points of view.
1) someone who fears it as much as we do Simply woulnt and couldnt act upon them
2)how can people get that low that they actually do it and could anxiety really make me that low?
It's right to say that suicidal thoughts just come into the mind because the thought of it scares us so much, in which case, no, someone would never attempt it.
However in other instances such as Richie says, anxiety can make us feel so low that we can't see any other way out. This is the saddest situation to be in because you feel alone with no one to turn to.
That's how I used to feel until I realised When i read about others having done it, When i read about others having done it, its so sad , the most tragic , saddest thing ever . Luv Richiex. Luv Richiex We're NOT alone.
Richie, if you weren't around, we'd ALL feel, its so sad , the most tragic , saddest thing ever! This is what I keep trying to say, that anxiety sufferers suffer So much, thinking that they are unimportant etc and yet, they Care More about Others which is why to me I have the Highest regard for people such as you Richie.
NEVER feel alone and KNOW that people Care about YOU too. You're the reason I turned my corner because I just like you, I couldn't bear the thought of others suffering as I did.
I hope that comes across ok but it upsets me too much too when these things happen to such caring people such as you. :hugs:
My brother did it 3 years ago.
I think this has something to do with my panic disorder.
I think about it a lot too.
Lizzie xx
I have a fear of suicide well not a fear as such but it does make me uncomfortable and when I get very very stressed I do have thoughts but they're only fleeting although they can cause me quite a bit of anxiety. But when I do have these thoughts I can always see another way out.
Quiet-Lift
16-10-07, 04:54
Hi everyone...
Couldn't agree more with everything you've all been saying. Sometimes it seems like an attractive option - an end to all the pain and disturbing thoughts. Other times I'm terrified and ashamed of myself for even thinking of it...
There's been a lot of media coverage of the new movie 'Control' about the Manchester Post-Punk band Joy Division and their lead vocalist Ian Curtis , who took his own life in May 1980.
I was a follower of their music at the time and read articles about them by Paul Morley in the NME. Curtis' death was a shock then and after 27 years it still has the power to haunt me.
It is such a final, irretrievable act and leaves so much devastation behind.:weep:
Whilst I have every sympathy with those who commit suicide and those they leave behind, it still disturbs me that so many take this route. It leaves a bad example to follow for the rest of us. This is not intended as a heartless statement for who am I to try and judge the intensity of another person's pain?:shrug:
It's awful to have to live on a daily basis with fearful thoughts, nagging self-doubts and those terrible physical feelings of anxiety. To feel that I am unwanted and worthless can be so hard to endure. However, I force myself to shun the suicide option.:lac:
If you want a few reasons for not doing it, there are many websites you can google with a few careful words, MIND have a useful booklet about coping with suicidal feelings or you could try reading Dorothy Rowe's chapter on the subject in her book 'Breaking The Bonds'.
Better still...can anyone think of at least 5 or more reasons to carry on? I'd like to read them...
This is another of those subjects which our society so awkwardly skates around. Another big taboo which invites the usual covert conspiracy which we all swallow to a greater of lesser degree. To say suicide is the coward's way out, for example, can only serve to make us feel all the more guilty for even considering it.
Many thanks to matt for raising this tricky subject in the first place.
All the best
I imagine that a lot of people think about it not because they necessarily want to be dead but because there doesn't seem any other way out. I know this is true for myself.
Kate
I can relate so much to what you say and there seems to be an answer in there for my seekings too.
I think about suicide so so so much. I had my plan of how and where. I got a step closer and closer all the time up until recently when I did something rather silly. Yet, I still think I don't really intend to do it.
I am obsessed with it, certainly. Unhealthily so, definately. So much so that I now get meds by fortnightly injection instead of pills. BUT even after all of this I don't think I want to die. In fact I know I don't. I think I am a classic 'attention seeker' (not a pc term but one that I can't think of any better to use) yet at the same time, I am not really as a lot of my silly stuff is done when I am alone. In fact, most of it, I am alone.
I am considered I think to be 'para suicidal' I don't really want to die, but my behaviour could result in it.
I am no help here at all. I am just trying to point out that obsessing is one thing, but if you ever even once go too far with your thoughts, it could be the last time.
I don't agree that to be afraid of it is a dead cert that a person will not do it as I am afraid of it, afraid of dying, afraid of leaving my girls, yet I still do silly things that could result in all of that.
Happyone
xx
Quiet-Lift
16-10-07, 18:50
Hi everyone
Just to say thanks to Sam for raising the subject.
Apologies if you read my previous message and it seemed a little confusing or perhaps pompously intense. I'd been up most of the night and haven't been sleeping too good during the past few days. It was a strained and poorly thought out response.
This is such a difficult subject and I involuntarily recoil in horror at the very thought of it.
It's nasty, confusing and extremely unpopular to even talk about, hence my detached remarks about society. Like depression, it does seem as though most people would prefer not to even think about it for fear of catching some kind of psychic virus or an equivalent of the plague.
I can understand this. Lightness of being is a sensible , commonsense approach which avoids any major headaches. To lighten up and try to see some humour and beauty in life is always worth striving for. I enjoy a good laugh as much as anyone else and can laugh loudly when it feels right...but I can also feel a sadness that seems to seep into every fibre of my body. Somedays, it just won't go away and affects everything I try to do and every interaction with another person.
It sure ain't pretty and it ain't funny. Have any of you had that experience of
being made to feel like a leper? Just because you look miserable or give off some kind of atmosphere which is only measurable in the minds and perceptions of others' anyway?
Hardly surprising that suicide might be considered when misery is reinforced on a daily basis by your environment or the cruelty and ignorance of others or the seemingly unending tedious drudgery of it all...:ohmy:
I'm not trying to drag anyone down here. I speak as a person who has had many difficult periods of believing that (and behaving as though) he cannot cope.
Here are a few reasons for not doing it though...
1: Someone else will have the task of clearing up after you. How would you feel if it was the other way around?
2: It would be a waste of something more precious than wealth.
3: It would be irreversible. No matter how many mistaken choices we make in our lives, some kind of compensation is usually available, even if it is only the glimpse of a different point of view.
4: You're not alone and each breath you take is a bonus point on your final score. Many others have been where you are and have carried on.
5: Even if you are misunderstood or misinterpreted in action or word on a regular basis, this still gives you a purpose as a connecting link in the fabric of humanity.
6: As Dorothy Rowe once wrote..." if you have to do violence to yourself in order to die, then there must also be a part of you that wants to live - you should stick with that part ".
7: Nothing lasts forever, not even the worst day of your life.
8: Pain (emotional or physical) is inevitable. If you can accept this in some small way you can start to deal with it in more constructive ways. Even if those ways may make you unpopular or make you feel foolish.
9: There is no such thing as a wasted life. Each one of us is a point of consciousness in this world. If one person is gazing at a glorious sunset whilst another is cleaning a toilet bowl, both viewpoints remain equally valid.
10: One day all those panic attacks and phobias may be a thing of the past.
Why end your life because you believe you may never master them?
Even if you never succeed in overcoming your fears, at least you can try to live with them.
Phew! I realise it was a long one. If you got read it this far, thankyou.
I feel a bit better for writing all that and hope it helps in some small way.
Cheers! :emot-wave:
I would never do it, It really really scares me though, its when you start to find comfort in thinking about it as a way out, thats when you have a problem that needs sorted
Quiet-Lift
16-10-07, 19:42
Very true. I would never do it either. Well worth trying to get that problem sorted I think. Should keep you busy if nothing else...
Thanks for the info and link.
Take care mate
This is something that plays on my mind often, Not because I want to do it, It scares me so much, how can people get that low that they actually do it and could anxiety really make me that low?
A counsilor once said to me while you are scared of suicide you have no problem, its when you start to see suicide as as way out, thats when you have a problem, and I am scared of it, bigtime scared of it, Infact I can't even watch action films with people getting shot etc etc..
I suppose its one of them obsessive thoughts associated with anxiety,
Can anyone relate to what I am saying?
It used to worry me in exactly the same way it worries you, I never attempted it or even wanted to - I understand that you aren’t talking about considering suicide you are talking about a fear of it. A fear that you might get to a stage where you actually want to do it, it’s a fear (you probably have a few, I did) and its representative of an anxiety disorder. It’s your reaction to the thought that is keeping the fear alive.
CB therapy helped me immensely with my fears; I would strongly recommend CB therapy for anyone with an anxiety disorder, worked wonders for me. There’s a difference between being suicidal and having a fear of it, a CB therapist would help you with it – for me the content of my thoughts weren’t important, addressing the symptoms of my anxiety were. If you have CB therapy you won't be 'cured' overnight, it has taken over a year of practicing CB therapy techniques for me to get the maximum benefit. If you stick with it, for the long haul, you'll overcome your anxiety.
Lilith1980
18-10-07, 09:39
I don't think I have ever considered suicide but when I had my eating disorder a few years ago I was in such a dark place and I hated being alive. But I never considered suicide - I dont have the guts, which is a good thing.
I do have intrusive thoughts about me committing suicide and my fiance finding me and how upset people would be, I dont know why I have those thoughts, but I am able to block that particular thought out and tell myself to stop being stupid.
I did attempt it and nearly succeeded and for all sufferers out there who would ever contemplate, I can only say that it ruined my life for a while so don't ever think about doing it. When I look back now it just makes me realise that things are never as bad as what they seem, there are always answers to everything and the help is out there. I wish I could tell you why I did it, but I don't have the answer to that, I was just messed up over loads of little things which snowballed into this huge problem and I thought it was the best way out. How wrong I was!! I am so glad that I'm still here and fear death now instead of welcoming it which is how I felt the day I did it. I now appreciate the smaller things in life and look around me, especially at my children and thank god that I am still here to tell the tale.
Les x
Lilith 1980: "I am able to block that particular thought out and tell myself to stop being stupid."
Blocking the thought and telling yourself to be stupid is negative in itself. Two reasons why this is so.
1. If you are blocking a thought you are fighting it. Therefore creating inner conflict. It may be better to say "OK I am having this thought but its just a thought. I am not the only one who has these thoughts. It wont last forever. I think about a lot of different things throughout the day.
2. By telling yourself to stop being stupid you are scolding yourself and by calling yourself stupid you are attaching a negative label to yourself.
No offence intended, just an observation. I call myself things sometimes, well quite often actually so I understand how hard it is not to.
Be well people :) live long and prosper. (strictly NOT a trekkie; just thought id say something cheesy!)
Lilith1980
18-10-07, 13:37
Matt, I didnt think of it like that. Maybe that is why all these thoughts wear me out. Instead of "sitting with them" and accepting them and letting hem wash over me, I try to fight them.
I call myself stupid (in my head) a lot, and you're right I should get out of the habit because it only creatives more negative thoughts.
But accepting our feelings are part of our recovery. When you fight something it fights back.
For example: I am having suicidal thoughts. OK, this doesnt mean I am going to do anything. If I accept these thoughts for what they are and try to find something else to do like read a self help book (The Feeling Good Handbook by David D Burns M.D. is my bible, it covers pretty much everything). Or going for a walk or doing some kind of distraction or deep breathing exercise. (The Benson Method is good try googling it). Acceptance is part of the recovery process. We cannot be in total control of our feelings and emotions all the time. :)
I'm not sure were I read this exactly but I somewere I heard that when a person takes his own life it does nothing to stop how awful they are feeling in fact the pain is just simply taken with you into the next life. sure I feel pretty lousy right now but the thought that if I were to end my own life I'd be stuck with those dreadful feelings forever is plenty to put me off taking my own suicide.
I have had several (hundred maybe thousand) suicidal thoughts throughout my life. I was only diagnosed with panic disorder a couple of weeks ago so I know i can't blame that. My sons have been my reason (I think) for not carrying out the act. :D I say ( I think ) because I have always been forced to consider the implications of the act on my family. Before my sons were born I used to think about my mum and how she would feel. Maybe for me the fear Sam was talking about is the guilty feelings I get. I truly believe my suicidal feelings are a cry for help. :weep: Trouble is, whenever I have asked I have not received. :huh: Got to keep moving on I guess. Maybe one day it will get me. But, maybe one day I will get the help I need. Who Knows????? :shrug:
Hi SamTheMan, and all others that have replied. I can only relate personal experience.
This time last year it seemed like an easy way out. So much so, that I looked up in medical books the amount of meds needed to OD for my body mass, and had enough with a few thrown in on top.
I didn't tell a sole, and I did plan it out. I believe that put me in the "serious about doing it" catagory. Why didn't I do it ? Basically because of my other half and my little girl. Its the utmost selfish thing you can do to those around you.
I've been introverted, insular and self absorbed for over a year. Thing is, my bad thoughts only lasted for 2 weeks (shame the anxiety didn't follow them through the door) and if I had acted on them then I wouldn't be typing now.
I plan to get better. Moreover, I will get better. The lows can be a real kick in the teeth, but *everyone* has something to contribute. Don't ever think your life worthless - it just isn't true.
While intrusive thoughts are unwelcome, they don't last forever.
Krakers.
hi there
its difficult when people call it selfish. My dad did it 2 years ago and left me like this...so perhaps that was selfish. But I also feel he was running away. But it was nothing that couldnt have been helped with...thats the worst thing...get help before ever considering this
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