myungsoo
20-04-20, 11:34
Hi everybody I hope you are all well during these hard times. I'm a 19 year old male and ever since I was a child I have had sleeping problems on and off with not being able to fall asleep or not being able to fall asleep after waking up in the middle of the night. Up till a couple of days ago, however, I was doing pretty okay and whilst the anxiety was still there I was getting through just fine. But a couple days ago idk why but I ended up watching a video about Fatal Familial Insomnia and Sporadic Fatal Insomnia. Before this I had never heard about this, but now that I know of their existence, my anxiety about sleep is reaching back up to when I was a child! Now I dread not falling asleep more than ever and even though I know how irrational this is and how so rare this disease is, I can't help but fear it! I just have this weird feeling that now that I know of it the disease is just harvesting within me waiting to kill me. I know it sounds stupid but I've been crying over this so many times over the past few days as well. In all honesty I don't have (touch wood) major issues with sleep currently but I just persuade myself every day that last night I just got lucky and that tonight I won't sleep and that will be the start of my fatal insomnia. Usually I would be able to push aside a lot of the anxieties I have by going out with friends or drinks or parties but with the current state the world is in I'm left with my own thoughts :( please help me this fear is driving me literally insane! I just feel like my death is near because of this disease and it's hell!