when your worst fears come true

[mirry]

hi everyone, sorry i havent given out much support lately and I know what a rough time you are all having with this awful health anxiety.

I have always had a big fear of health issues and lastweek had a terrible shock when I found out that both my balance organs in my ears are non functioning.I have spent the entire weekend in tears and am waiting to see my consultant tomorrow to find out why. well as usuall I have been googling and got myself into a panic,so today I decided to phone the hospital cos I can speak to the nurse for support, when I told her I had been googling she obviously said dont do that.But then she said my consultant is thinking I have somesort of autoimmune disease and he will be exploring this avenue to see what has damaged my balance organs .
well now I am sitting here shaking head to toe,I then read anto immune disorders run in familys ,which my mothers 3 sibling all have different autoimune disorders.
I have always feared the worst with my health and now my worst fears are coming true,I cant stop crying ....and the selfish thoughts are just shamefull
"why me" ect.
I tried walking my daughter to school today and was so off balance, i feel so scared and so alone with this,I have two lovely children who need me.

:weep:

[Wilburis]

sending you bigs hugs

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:


Lizzie
xxxx

[lesleyB]

Mirry, so sorry to hear your news wish i could give you a real hug and not just a virtual hug. It may not be as bad as you fear there is always hope, but i will be thinking of you.
Lesleyb:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[jodie]

:hugs: awww

big hugs hunny

just wait till you see the doc we allways think the worst but it might not be all that bad just try think to yourself right i am going to deal with this and get the help you need ,i mean if it is treated you may i am sure feel much better in yourself ,i know how hard it is to think the worst but try not to try think omg it could be somthink much much worse i try that and it dose work

:hugs: jodie x

[MistyBlue]

Hi Mirry,

That feeling of just not knowing is awful isn't it? I totally know how you are feeling right now. If it is an autoimmune disorder, least they will know what it is and you can be treated. On the bright side, you will probably get better care with other conditions if you have a known underlying.

Big hugs to you, and wishing you all the best to get through this.

Lisa x:hugs:

[Elly 2]

Hi Mirry,
So sorry to hear your news BUT there is light at the end of the tunnel. I was told last week that I was being tested for Lupus which is an autoimune disorder for which there is no cure but as long as it is monitored can be controlled. Of course like you I googled it. BIG MISTAKE!! I have a friend who has symptoms like yours and she has been diagnosed with Meniere's disease. When she has an attack she is on all fours because she is so dizzy she can't stand up but she has been given medication for it which she only has to take when she gets an attack and the good news is IT WORKS. I know as we all do how you feel but are here to give you as much support as we can. Lots of love Elly xx

[bluesparkle]

hi
i dont really know what to say... except i agree that try not to worry until you have seen him... i know that is easy for me to say, but if there is a problem then you can get the right treatment and start to feel better soon.
have some :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: from me...
will be sending loads of posative vibes for your appointment
rach

[mirry]

I am so sorry to harp on about myself,my mother phoned me today and I picked up the phone and couldnt stop crying to talk. The hospital said if they get a cancellation today they will slot me in, so I am waiting by the phone hoping to see the consultant today.
I always knew something was wrong with me deep deep down , I feel so different to how I used to feel in myself and my head feels brain damaged, that must be because my balance has gone ?
my vision feels fuzzy all the time,like Im in a dazed state and I feel I cant walk very well cos Its difficult to mantain balance.
Think I will go for a lay down cos ive exhausted myself :weep:
big hugs to everyone suffering xxx

[MistyBlue]

I so hope you can get a hospital appt for today mirry. I have been thinking about you all day. It's pure torture to feel like this. Big hugs again for you.:hugs:

Lisa x

[kittykat]

Hi Mirry,

So sorry to hear you're feeling like this, its always the not knowing and waiting that is the worst. Try not to worry and sometimes when you think the worst it doesn't always happen, i hope you get that appointment for today , if not i'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

Take care
shirley xx

[Janieb]

Hi Mirry! Sending you hugs for tomorrow! on the positive if you know what it is hopefully you can fix it and something to look forward to at least. Listen to what the doc says first it might not be all that bad, but I hope it all goes well!

Take care,
Jane

[anxious]

:hugs: :hugs:
hope all goes well, please try not to worry too much and stop googling,

love anx xx

[mirry]

I have stopped googling,been awake since 4am with my stomach aching and feeling sick. I am absolutely terrified and keep shaking.
I am scared of what I am gonna hear and if they cant help me or if its progressive.
Cant wait to get my kids out the door for school incase I cry again.

still only 4 hours to go and its torture.

thanks for the replys.

[honeybee3939]

Hi Mirry

Hope all went well today, been thinking of you hun.:hugs:

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

[strawberrie]

:hugs: thinking of you mirry, let us know how you get on :hugs:

mag :flowers:

[mirry]

Hi again , well I went and was told that although my balance organs are low functioning , with doing the visual excersizes and sending me for balance therapy I should cope remarkably well :ohmy: .

He said he feels that a rare type of migraine has caused all this and has started me on a preventative.

so now I am awaiting my balance therapy and took my first pill yesturday .

Hopefully I will improve, and I am so glad it wasnt an autoimmune disease like they considered:wacko: .

thank for your support , I am no good coping with health problems.
:flowers:

[Piglet]

I'm so glad it wasn't as bad as you feared hun - things rarely are!!!:hugs:

Love Piglet :flowers:

[Elly 2]

Hi Mirry, am thinking of you, hope you get appt today, keep us posted, love and many hugs x

[helenclaire]

Hi Mirry,
Hope you are feeling better now you know what is causing your problems,
hopefully now you will get the help you need to make a good recovery.

Best wished
Love
Helen:)

[MistyBlue]

Mirry I am so glad for you it wasn't anything worse. I have been told I have this type of migraine also. I suspect it's something called a Basilar (sp?) migraine? It's horrible. I really am looking forward to hearing how you get on.

I have an appt with a neurologist coming up someday.......... (soon I hope) and maybe get some answers too.

Big hugs for you, and you are in my thoughts. I hope the anxiety eases for you soon.

Lisa xx:hugs:

[mirry]

thats the one misty, it gives us the feeling off being off balanced and also vertigo and fatigue. Also I get the feeling that the floor shifts quickly to one side and sometimes feel like its tilted , yet I do not get the headache with these symptoms then other times I get a migraine without the dizziness,Are these your symptoms ?
Also because I have been waking up from my sleep with migraine he said that Is classic dizzy migraines :ohmy: .
Its such a weird problem , and they say its rare but Im not so sure of that, I think lots of people dont know they have it.But its strange that it can effect the balance organ function.

keep in touch :flowers:

I really look forward to hearing what your consultant has to say about this .

[funky chick]

Hi Mirry,
Sending you hugs glad you have seen consultant now and that they will help you take care love Gail xxxxx:bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1:

[MistyBlue]

Yep sounds the same Mirry. Almost feel some days I am walking on a trampoline. Sometimes I can walk along and have to stop as it feels as if I am being pulled backwards and if the floor has been pulled out from beneath me. It's quite scarey.

I also get this without the headaches and I live with it a lot of the time. I do get classic migraines without dizziness also with the headache. It seems I spend a lot of my life trying to avoid migraines. I hate the feeling of just turning my head and the whole world flying around.

I will let you know as soon as I hear something about my appointment. :shrug: Good luck and keep in touch also. It's reassuring to hear that someone else does experience the same thing, especially as I have had many doctors look at me as if I am crazy.

BTW how are you with fluorescent lights?

[Janieb]

Hi Mirry,

Excellent news it's nothing to bad :D
and now you are on the road to recovery!

[mirry]

thanks everyone whos replied , you are all so kind :hugs:
(this is the best place).

Misty , yes the fluorecent lights are awful for me too :ohmy: , I cant believe what you have written , I could of written it myself !!!
OMG the description of your head getting pulled backwards is what I explained to the consultant , but I said it gets pulled down to one side and its hard to keep my head up.

Wow, your the first person whos ever described my problem , so we must keep each other informed on how we are doing :flowers:

[honeybee3939]

Hi Miiry

So pleased to hear things where not as bad as you thought, i hope you can relax now hun:hugs: :hugs:

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

[richard sharp]

way to go mirry! great news for you. youll be able to move forward with confidence now your problem as been diagnosed.
best wishes, richard

[mirry]

:bighug1:

[Pickle]

Hi Mirry

I've been following your thread with interest as I too suffer from a rare form of migraine (Hemiplegic) which was only discovered 6 weeks ago when I was rushed to hospital with a suspected stroke. The symptoms of this type of migraine mirror those of a stroke and, like you, I was scared witless. After having blood tests, a CAT scan and an MRI scan it was discovered that my brain was completely clear (!!!) and when the bloods also came back clear they discovered it was the migraine. Like you I was told they are very rare and don't occur very often (good!)

I'm so glad your outcome wasn't as bad as you first thought, and hopefully with the pills you will recover quickly

Take care

[mirry]

that is interesting Pickle, did they give you any medication for them ?

also are you following a anti migraine diet ?

[MistyBlue]

These type of migraines without the headaches are really different aren't they? I think from our 'normal' understanding of migraines that it is just a headache and that's what makes it harder to accept that the weirdness we are feeling is just a migraine. What's important to remember that a migraine isn't a headache, it's a neurological event and hence affects any of our neurological systems. And they can be chronic, lasting day in and day out with just a few breaks inbetween. It can be so debilitating at times.

Big hugs to everyone.:hugs:

Lisa xx

[strawberrie]

i'm really happy for you mirry, so glad its not as bad as you thought, and now you can get it sorted out :hugs:

[mirry]

thanks strawberry ,it was torture not knowing why I felt like i did so knowing why i feel so terrible helps .

Misty and Pickle, Its a very strange thing to have , I think I will start another post about this to spread awareness of this illness.

hopefully see you there :hugs:

[Pickle]

Hi Mirry

I've always tried to follow an anti migraine diet (the classic migraine run in my family) but I'm not that good at it - I like chocolate too much :blush: . I was told by my consultant that the type I get are more likely to be caused by stress, which is great when you suffer from anxiety!!

I am now trying to 'chill' out more and try to do my relaxation exercises daily as well as a few early nights.

I've spent too many years being a slave to panic and agoraphobia to let these migraines get a grip :)

Luckily for me, I don't get any headache, just the horrible 'stroke' symptoms, but as the MRI was clear I can honestly say I dont worry about them (until the next time that is)

Take care