daveyt
08-05-20, 10:00
Hi All
I'm David a nearly 60 year old single male. I am a very caring geniune guy and am sincere in my request.
long story short (but would be happy to share more at the right time.
Breakdown in 2008 .... NHS useless .... Ex-wife was coming into some money, so a few months later decided as she put it "I'm fed up with you being ill, I want a divorce).
I had to live under the same roof has her for two years, before she moved out. I then lost what was my house when we met in 1990. All because of her greed and unbeknown to me at the time she was actually the cause of my breakdown
Family ditched me completely through out this time. I then had 8 hellish years of renting, with no income. I made sure I was close to my parents and just literally worked my socks off doing all sorts for them along with a few gardening jobs.
Sadly a couple of years ago, my mother despite several years of my Dad and Sister ignoring it ended up very poorly with Dementia. We had to give in and she had to go into a care home. I knew it wasn't a good one, but had no say in the matter. Eventually, they did agree to move her to another one She has now deteriated to the point that she doesn't know any of us and is now in Pallative Care only. (this since November) Because of the Covid thing, only my sister is allowed to phone. (She also has control of everything else, including finances etc.) She won't speak to me, so I get no information about my dear Mum except what my father shares, which is virtualy nothing.
I made a foolish decision to move in with him over a year ago, as my finances were running out. I also went through 2 years of hell with the NHS, as I was becoming too reliant on Diazepam, but got spat out of the broken system and ended up worse than before. I even took it to PALS, but got nowhere. I have all my medical records and the sheer amount of missing recorded delivery letters I sent and missing documents is staggering)
Thankfully, I have a brilliant counsellor (who I've been seeing at my expense on and off throughout) She has basically kept me alive, during suicidal moments.
My sister had total control of this household, by instructing me what I could and couldn't do. So she did all shopping and washing and arranged everythig. (Just to add to her weirdness, she has two children who haven't visited Mum and Dad for probably 12 years and two grand children My father has never met !!)
Since the lockdown, she has even dropped Dad, but to him, she can do no wrong. I'm now despite suffering from quite severe GAD, just about able to do the shopping etc. I also do all of his washing, cleaning, washing up, prescription stuff. Basically everything.
Is he thankful .... no ... he hates te site of me and often won't speak to me for day's. Unfortunately, losing Mum has destroyed me and I can't even bear to go into the lounge. I just turn off to hoover in there and that's it. So either am trapped in my small room, which I eat, live and sleep in.
My Dad, now incestantly keeps saying he's going to move out. (obviously, I explain it's his house) But he really hates the sight of me and in my moments of weakness just keeps verbally abusing me. Sister not interested and wouldn't even let my counsellor speak to her, when I reached a crisis point a week or so ago. So that's it, family non exitant now.
So, that's it. I've tried my hardest .... I constantly apologise for things I haven't done, just to survive. I'm having to try hard to fight my genuine caring nature and have decided it's time to look after me. Problem is, I don't know anybody I could stay with and can't afford to rent now (plus my furniture all went to charity)
I really need somewhere, anywhere with a bit of privacy, preferably self contained. Whilst I can't afford much, i am a good gardener and fixer and mender. I can turn my hand to most things. I'm sure away from the toxic family, my diazepam reliance would wain. I just want to wake up in the morning, with no threats awaiting me. It's sheer hell here and I have to be selfish and save myself now.
I'm based in East Sussex, but would be prepared to go anywhere I guess.
Like I said, I am geniune, I'm not a story teller, I'm old school, my word is my bond. I would just like to add, that whilst I have my own issues, I have plenty to give. I am very mindful of others and have plenty of compassion and empathy. I'm a good listener and through my own life experiences and the help of an excellent counsellor think I could be of help to a fellow sufferer.
Update 30th July 2020.
Its become unbearable here now. My father wont even speak to me unless he really has to and then it's to verballly abuse me, with really nasty attacks, all of which are absolute rubbish. Am also just getting these really unnerving death stares. He won't even tell me what he wants when I go shopping, so i just have to guess what he needs. Sister, not interested ... comes over once a week and takes him out and he's fine with her. I really can't figure out what he thinks I've done wrong. I'm now going out most days, just to escape the intense pressure. I just park up in laybys. If weathers bad, i really try and stay in my small room, even peeing in a bottle to avoid him.
I really desperately need to get out of here, but despite searching every day, can't find anything I can afford.
I'm also really struggling with the side effects of my blood pressure pills, but doctors won't let me anywhere near the place, as I would need close monitoring whilst changing the type of pill, which they won't do, whilst this dan pandemic is going on.
Please somebody help me.
I would be quite willing to self isolate if necessary.
Thank You for taking the time to read this
I'm David a nearly 60 year old single male. I am a very caring geniune guy and am sincere in my request.
long story short (but would be happy to share more at the right time.
Breakdown in 2008 .... NHS useless .... Ex-wife was coming into some money, so a few months later decided as she put it "I'm fed up with you being ill, I want a divorce).
I had to live under the same roof has her for two years, before she moved out. I then lost what was my house when we met in 1990. All because of her greed and unbeknown to me at the time she was actually the cause of my breakdown
Family ditched me completely through out this time. I then had 8 hellish years of renting, with no income. I made sure I was close to my parents and just literally worked my socks off doing all sorts for them along with a few gardening jobs.
Sadly a couple of years ago, my mother despite several years of my Dad and Sister ignoring it ended up very poorly with Dementia. We had to give in and she had to go into a care home. I knew it wasn't a good one, but had no say in the matter. Eventually, they did agree to move her to another one She has now deteriated to the point that she doesn't know any of us and is now in Pallative Care only. (this since November) Because of the Covid thing, only my sister is allowed to phone. (She also has control of everything else, including finances etc.) She won't speak to me, so I get no information about my dear Mum except what my father shares, which is virtualy nothing.
I made a foolish decision to move in with him over a year ago, as my finances were running out. I also went through 2 years of hell with the NHS, as I was becoming too reliant on Diazepam, but got spat out of the broken system and ended up worse than before. I even took it to PALS, but got nowhere. I have all my medical records and the sheer amount of missing recorded delivery letters I sent and missing documents is staggering)
Thankfully, I have a brilliant counsellor (who I've been seeing at my expense on and off throughout) She has basically kept me alive, during suicidal moments.
My sister had total control of this household, by instructing me what I could and couldn't do. So she did all shopping and washing and arranged everythig. (Just to add to her weirdness, she has two children who haven't visited Mum and Dad for probably 12 years and two grand children My father has never met !!)
Since the lockdown, she has even dropped Dad, but to him, she can do no wrong. I'm now despite suffering from quite severe GAD, just about able to do the shopping etc. I also do all of his washing, cleaning, washing up, prescription stuff. Basically everything.
Is he thankful .... no ... he hates te site of me and often won't speak to me for day's. Unfortunately, losing Mum has destroyed me and I can't even bear to go into the lounge. I just turn off to hoover in there and that's it. So either am trapped in my small room, which I eat, live and sleep in.
My Dad, now incestantly keeps saying he's going to move out. (obviously, I explain it's his house) But he really hates the sight of me and in my moments of weakness just keeps verbally abusing me. Sister not interested and wouldn't even let my counsellor speak to her, when I reached a crisis point a week or so ago. So that's it, family non exitant now.
So, that's it. I've tried my hardest .... I constantly apologise for things I haven't done, just to survive. I'm having to try hard to fight my genuine caring nature and have decided it's time to look after me. Problem is, I don't know anybody I could stay with and can't afford to rent now (plus my furniture all went to charity)
I really need somewhere, anywhere with a bit of privacy, preferably self contained. Whilst I can't afford much, i am a good gardener and fixer and mender. I can turn my hand to most things. I'm sure away from the toxic family, my diazepam reliance would wain. I just want to wake up in the morning, with no threats awaiting me. It's sheer hell here and I have to be selfish and save myself now.
I'm based in East Sussex, but would be prepared to go anywhere I guess.
Like I said, I am geniune, I'm not a story teller, I'm old school, my word is my bond. I would just like to add, that whilst I have my own issues, I have plenty to give. I am very mindful of others and have plenty of compassion and empathy. I'm a good listener and through my own life experiences and the help of an excellent counsellor think I could be of help to a fellow sufferer.
Update 30th July 2020.
Its become unbearable here now. My father wont even speak to me unless he really has to and then it's to verballly abuse me, with really nasty attacks, all of which are absolute rubbish. Am also just getting these really unnerving death stares. He won't even tell me what he wants when I go shopping, so i just have to guess what he needs. Sister, not interested ... comes over once a week and takes him out and he's fine with her. I really can't figure out what he thinks I've done wrong. I'm now going out most days, just to escape the intense pressure. I just park up in laybys. If weathers bad, i really try and stay in my small room, even peeing in a bottle to avoid him.
I really desperately need to get out of here, but despite searching every day, can't find anything I can afford.
I'm also really struggling with the side effects of my blood pressure pills, but doctors won't let me anywhere near the place, as I would need close monitoring whilst changing the type of pill, which they won't do, whilst this dan pandemic is going on.
Please somebody help me.
I would be quite willing to self isolate if necessary.
Thank You for taking the time to read this