having a baby at 40? - Scared of death

[tt]

My husband asked me last night how I felt about having a baby. I have had two that are now 20 and 17 to another man. I have been with my husband for 8 years. I love babies and kids but my thoughts are my health being as I suffer from health anxiety.
I worry about blood pressure and stroke and simply dying and my husband and kids are without me.

Has anyone had children late in life and had anxiety while doing so?

TT:)

[Piglet]

My sister had my neice when she was 39/40 - it can be harder to get pregnant in the first place as we get older but they look after you like gold dust in the hospital.

What about having a chat with your GP about it or even the well woman clinic and take hubby along!

Love Piglet :flowers:

[Pink Panic]

Hi

I had my second baby at 35 and felt like a Granny on the Maternity ward. Everyone else seemed to be early 20's.
During the pregancy I felt much more tired than I did with my first child who I had when I was 25.
I did become pregnant again when I was 40 and to be honest I felt awful for all of the 8 weeks I carried the baby till I sadly miscarried. I feel this was probably Mother Nature's way of telling me that all wasn't well.

My advice is the same as Piglet's in that it's prob best to have a chat with the GP and get him to give you some sound advice then do what feels right for you and your partner.
All the best if you do decide to go ahead hun, children certainly are a gift from above.

Love
Pink
x

[yorkylover]

Hi tt,I would have a talk with your gp.Alot of women are having babies later in life these days.I think if you are healthy then why not.
Im 40 and have tried to get pregnant.I have poly cystic ovaries so it been difficult.I wish I had started years ago now,but if I was to fall pregnant now I would be terrified but a very very happy bunny.

I think my anxiety and depression havent helped my situation.Yes there could be complications,but that can happen in any pregnancy and at any age.I think if we are healthy and able then go for it girl.:yesyes:

[lorac]

I had my third baby at 40 and had really bad anxiety at the time and like you worried very much about health issues. I can honestly say that having my son was one of the best things I ever did. Im now 47 and have two daughters one of 20 one of 17 my son is now 7 and despite the age difference they are a great little family and I have no doubt that if anything ever happened to me my girls would always be around for their brother.

[shoegal]

Hi there,
I'm 34 and thinking about trying for my first baby. To be honest I'm terrified because I'm scared of having really bad anxiety and depression and not being able to take the meds I have become familiar with. I also have Fibromyalgia which further complicates things.
If anybody can talk to me about dealing with panic attacks during pregnancy it would be much appreciated.
Good luck if you decide to go for it TT. :flowers:

Love and hugs from shoegal xxx

[honeybee3939]

Hi

My cousin had a baby at 41 last year and one of my good friends gave birth at the age of 43, both normal pregnancies and 2 lovely babies:)

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx:hugs:

[Southern_Belle]

I had my 2nd child at 34 and had no problems whatsoever during the pregnancy. I think it helps that you have given birth before though. I would always get advice from your doctor before becoming pregnant after the age of 35 due to any tests they may want to run. Good luck!

Laura

[Pen]

Hi

I have one child and would dearly love another but unfortunately I have developed a phobia of pregnancy that is so bad that I was referred to a psychologist and midwife at the maternity hospital who assured me that what I feel and would feel if pregnant again would be just severe anxiety (easy for them to say, lol). I cried for 10 weeks when I was pregnant with my first child and didn't know what was wrong with me. What I am trying to say is that help is there available to you and you won't be the first person they have seen with such worries. They were very kind to me, as was my GP.

Like you I also worry about death in pregnancy and have considered a private birth (as I 'm scared the NHS won't have enough resources to help me when I need it or if things go wrong) and now am thinking seriously about adoption.

Good luck whatever you decide :)

Pen

[Wilburis]

Hi

Im 35 next month and had my second daughter in August!!

Even though it was tough with the anxiety and panic attacks at the time, looking back it was a walk in the park and worth every minute. The time just flew by. I shall hopefully have another couple of kids in the future, so Im getting on a bit now!!

The hospital will offer you tests as they do for all women over the age of 35. I had the nuchal fold test done.

I was under the care of a perenatal consultant - she is fab and really helpful.

Good luck - Liz xx

PS My mum was 43 when she had my sister!

[kilvosa]

Hi There
Well i had 2 children late in life (got 2 older ones too) i was 38 fell pregnant then had another one when i was 40 and i was well all through both pregnancies infact enjoyed mother hood all over again better than first time around.
Good luck and feel free to pm anytime
Take care
Annexx

[skitty]

Hi tt,
I had my first baby at 36 and to be honest it was the only period in my life when I have been entirely symptom free!
My anxiety didnt return until after I finished breastfeeding bub (at nearly 2). Maybe it was the happy hormones or maybe it was all the having to think about someone elses needs all the time instead of dwelling on myself. Anyway I reckon the hardest part as an older mother is trying to keep up with an active toddler - they sure do keep you fit!
Youve done it before so youll probably sail through, and these days they really do look after you well in maternity - lots of monitoring etc.
Best of luck xx

[anxious]

Hi there,

i had my third child at 37 (same reason as you, previous marriage). My anxiety was no worse, possible even better.
The strange thing is i still feel like a younger mum as its so common to have children now going into your 40's. I have less energy but more patience.
Good luck whatever you decide to do.
I'm going to pm you an older mums website addy that is great and there is a lovely bunch of ladies on it.

love anx xx

[Ma Larkin]

I'd say go for it. There are 10 years between my first 2 children and my youngest is 7, I was 36 when I had him. I had a stress free pregnancy and more experience, the birth was a lot easier and I haven't a clue where I got my energy from. I was more organised and in a better routine and had 2 babysitters with my elder children!! I definitely think having another baby after a big bag between the others certainly brought us closer together as a family and like you, it was a second marriage. Unfortunately, my marriage didn't survive but I wouldn't swap my children for the world and even though my eldest is now 19 and having a baby of her own, she still comes to see her mum every day and worships her little brother.

I'm sure you will make the right decision. I dertainly did.

Les xx