View Full Version : Platitudes
I absolutely loathe them. Some of my worst are:
"I don't have a magic wand" (lazy psychs)
"We're all in this together" (no we're not)
"Think positively" (respect to FMP but in my case it's best to think realistically)
"You must reach out for help" (fine if you have an accessible and reliable source..not many do)
"Be kind" (fat lot of good with major issues)
Anyone else have any that they want to disclose?
Pearly queen
18-05-20, 21:49
I hate 'think positive' too. It has the opposite effect on me, makes me more stressed. Sometimes just crappy things happen and blocking it out by thinking positive is not all that healthy imo. Best to acknowledge the feeling but try not to let it consume you (easier said than done) but I'm working on it. Another one I hate is 'what's the worst that can happen?'!!!!
Quite right, Agt P. Pffft.
"Chin up"! :lac:
In reference to "Positive thoughts"....
I'm very much a realist myself. My thoughts on many things are based totally on reality. I believe one can be positive and realistic at the same time. Its about finding those positives in the situations we face. That's what the "Positive Thoughts" (https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?173453-Positive-Thoughts)thread is about. If one quote or thought can open your eyes if only for a moment, then that's a positive. However, there's a big difference between being realistic and negative/catastrophic as there is between optimism and pessimism. From what I've learned about anxiety is that the dragon loves a good catastrophe and some good old fashioned negativity, doom and gloom. The current situation we're facing and the forum posts are proof of that. At the same time, we can't deny reality and totally block it out with positive thinking as that's just too unrealistic BUT... positive thinking and attitude are the key to overcoming the difficulties we face.
The quote I've posted by Charles Swindoll is all about what I'm talking about.
"I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you...we are in charge of our attitudes.” “We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. ... The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude."
To me, having control of my attitude is key. It was when I faced my health issues and all my life issues. I've not always been successful, but having that quote as a reminder day in and day out has helped me cope with life's curve balls.
My annoying platitude is "Good things come to those who wait". My experience has been, "If you want it, go out and get it!" ;) You may not achieve it but at least you won't regret not trying. I believe the things we regret the most are the things we didn't due because of fear of failure.
Positive thoughts
I hate the one that goes, “I’m not a racist/bigot/homophobe, I hate everyone equally.” So what they’re saying is that they’re just an a$$hole. Why can’t they just admit it from the beginning?
Hahaha! Good one Pulisa.
The latest one is...be safe.
Took me about five minutes to get sick of that.
MyNameIsTerry
19-05-20, 04:25
Hahaha! Good one Pulisa.
The latest one is...be safe.
Took me about five minutes to get sick of that.
A young woman was scanning my shopping through and after we said goodbye and the usual take care stuff she added a pause before telling me to stay safe. I thought I had pulled!!! :yesyes::doh::roflmao:
MyNameIsTerry
19-05-20, 04:29
Take these and make a follow up appointment to see me in 2 weeks.
When life has fallen apart and the earth is consuming you this response from your GP may be translated by your subtext filter, known to closely work with your BS detector, as 'just bugger off'. :whistles:
Oh I’m guilty of so many of these. Throwing away a little comment because I can’t think of something better to say!
“It is what it is” drives me bonkers.
"These things happen for a reason".
That one makes me want to explode.
"These things happen for a reason".
That one makes me want to explode.
Oh god yes! Bleurgh.
My son says to his friends l hope you die in your sleep. It sounds bad but is in reality good.
WiseMonkey
19-05-20, 12:39
I like "Be Kind" (and not because our PM says it), because it encourages people to put in a conscious effort to be considerate of and get along with others. It's currently on our Covid19 banners and advertising and on shop doors etc. I even spotted it on a lighted road sign, drive safely, be kind.
Oh dear, I use 'stay positive' a lot, might rethink using that.
And 'everything happens for a reason'. :blush:
I don't like....
'everything will be fine'
'stay calm'
'things will get better'
'take care of yourself'
You Idiot
Maybe I should have said Lolapop Land?😁
Hi Noivous, hope you keeping positive, oops :blush:
I'll rephrase that. Hope you are finding some escapism from this hell hole. :D
I knew the "keep positive" one would be controversial but it's just my take on it and of course is an entirely personal view. Nobody need alter anything they say or think twice before posting..I know I post a lot of platitudes too which must annoy the cr*p out of people..
"You must make the best of things" True but hard to take when you're on the floor..
WiseMonkey
20-05-20, 07:21
Lollipop Land...nice
Explain lollipop land please N?
Panicattacka
20-05-20, 13:01
At the end of the day
We are where we are
He/she/it ticks all the right boxes
Don't be a hater
Basically any trite "management speak" that came out of some evil yank business school and has infected the planet
At the end of the day
We are where we are
He/she/it ticks all the right boxes
Don't be a hater
Basically any trite "management speak" that came out of some evil yank business school and has infected the planet
Hahaha! At the end of the day... that's a classic! For some reason that became popular here a couple of years ago. I had a conversation with a guy recently he must have said that 20 times in the conversation. I was doing all I could do not to start laughing my head off.
whispershadow
20-05-20, 17:27
"Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone"
"Patience is a virtue, possess it if you can, seldom found in a woman but never in a man" < my grandma used to say this one all the time but i dont like it cause it implies that men are never EVER patient about anything, am I reading too much into it? idk
MyNameIsTerry
21-05-20, 05:08
It's not the size but what you do with it...:winks:
You have a lovely personality but...
It's not you, it's me (translation being it's definitely you :ohmy:)
"It is what it is" not only drives me mad it makes no sense whatsoever.
I don't know as to whether this also counts but 'text speak' also does my nut in, though I don't tend to notice it so much now compared to back in the 2000s when it seemed to be en masse.
Even in the 90s, before mobile phones became fully 'mainstream' devices (and inadvertently texting), the titles of quite a few pop hits back then were sensationally stylised in what later became 'text speak', e.g, 'U Got 2 Let The Music', 'U Sure Do', 'C U When You Get There', and quite a few others.
I also think the ending of certain words (plural) with 'Z' instead of 'S' (e.g, Boyz), has become well hackneyed, lazy and meaningless, and makes me want to throw a paddy!!
WiseMonkey
07-06-20, 13:12
It's where platitudes cross over into sayings (or may be they're the same)? One we Kiwis and Aussies have when someone asks us a question is 'yeah nah' ... I do it myself, it's become automatic, a space filler while you think about your reply and it covers both bases at the same time.
Pamplemousse
07-06-20, 14:43
I absolutely loathe them. Some of my worst are:
"Think positively" (respect to FMP but in my case it's best to think realistically)
Now, here's something allied to that:
The Nocebo effect (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nocebo).
One of the worst examples of a platitude (and insult) was the Cameron "austerity" era mantra of:
"People who work hard and want to get on in life..."
Most people work hard simply to exist but this platitude was alluding and aspiring to some dream while austerity measures were ripping the heart out of the country.
I even doubt whether many Tory voters believed this barefaced rot :lac:
Pamplemousse
07-06-20, 16:28
One of the worst examples of a platitude (and insult) was the Cameron "austerity" era mantra of:
"People who work hard and want to get on in life..."
Most people work hard simply to exist but this platitude was alluding and aspiring to some dream while austerity measures were ripping the heart out of the country.
I even doubt whether many Tory voters believed this barefaced rot :lac:
I agree with very little you say, but on that I am with you 100%.
Now, here's something allied to that:
The Nocebo effect (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nocebo).
I just try not to expect too much of things then am not disappointed when they don't work out. If they do work out it's a bonus.
Pamplemousse
07-06-20, 18:17
I just try not to expect too much of things then am not disappointed when they don't work out. If they do work out it's a bonus.
Now that has been the way I have treated things all my life; and the one time I was encouraged - nay, TOLD (by nursing staff) to show optimism around others - to wit, my late wife's treatment in hospital I believe has contributed to how I have been so heavily damaged by her death.
You were right and justified to be angry in such tragic circumstances and anger can be so damaging for mental health. So can platitudes when doled out by MH/medical professionals to cover a lack of appropriate support/services.
I can imagine that you have carried around your anger for many years, Pamplemousse? I'm not going to mention therapy but does anything help to lessen the pain?
Now that has been the way I have treated things all my life; and the one time I was encouraged - nay, TOLD (by nursing staff) to show optimism around others - to wit, my late wife's treatment in hospital I believe has contributed to how I have been so heavily damaged by her death.
That sucks, PM. I lost my best friend in 2014. I found his body, and I can't imagine how worse that would have been if those who were supposed to be helping treated me like that. I'm here if you need to talk. :hugs:
Pamplemousse
08-06-20, 10:21
You were right and justified to be angry in such tragic circumstances and anger can be so damaging for mental health. So can platitudes when doled out by MH/medical professionals to cover a lack of appropriate support/services.
I can imagine that you have carried around your anger for many years, Pamplemousse? I'm not going to mention therapy but does anything help to lessen the pain?
It has changed from anger to despair over the years. I did seek bereavement counselling which helped considerably - not least because I became suicidal a few months afterwards and was 'talked down' from it. About a year afterwards I considered suicide again but different circumstances prevailed this time which at first had me in a better headspace than I'd been in in many, many years but turned utterly toxic in due course and left me even more damaged.
There are triggers that still leave me utterly bereft.
Pamplemousse
08-06-20, 10:27
That sucks, PM. I lost my best friend in 2014. I found his body, and I can't imagine how worse that would have been if those who were supposed to be helping treated me like that. I'm here if you need to talk. :hugs:
Have you ever seen CPR being performed in a hospital setting, Vee? It's nothing like it is on the telly - it's brutal, it's violent. When you've seen your loved ones limbs flailing around like a rag doll being stamped upon and found yourself screaming and being dragged bodily from ICU by your brother and a nurse, it damages you deeply and on occasion, that image comes back. It's the last image in her life I have.
Am I f****d up? You bet. The worst bit is that I consider myself to blame for it, just as I hold myself responsible for my father's death some 30 years ago.
I don't know what to tell you other than that my heart goes out to you, I can't imagine how it must feel and I hope I never have to.
I know good wishes don't help, but I'm sending you all I have anyway.
whispershadow
13-06-20, 10:18
Have you ever seen CPR being performed in a hospital setting, Vee? It's nothing like it is on the telly - it's brutal, it's violent. When you've seen your loved ones limbs flailing around like a rag doll being stamped upon and found yourself screaming and being dragged bodily from ICU by your brother and a nurse, it damages you deeply and on occasion, that image comes back. It's the last image in her life I have.
Am I f****d up? You bet. The worst bit is that I consider myself to blame for it, just as I hold myself responsible for my father's death some 30 years ago.
It was not your fault, PM :hugs:
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