pray4me
22-05-20, 23:08
Hi All (long post),
I try hard not to post new threads. I try and read similar threads from the past, but today reading something on here has freaked me out more. I have had a very anxious couple of days due to my typical health anxiety about neurological illnesses. Last night was particularly bad. I went to bed anxious and woke up after a bad dream (where I was quarreling with my husband) at around 4:00 am or so.
I got out of bed, walked around etc. and went back to sleep at around 6:30. Now the past few weeks I have had recurrent dreams about losing the ability to move my limbs. When I wake up I feel relieved it was a dream but am always certain it was a dream because it involved being in a weird place (like a cliff) or with unusual people (like a deceased friend). But what happened earlier this morning is harder to rationalize as a dream. First I had a usual dream (being at a friend's place and wondering why were not social distancing). Then, at some point, I 'dreamt' that I was turned to my right side and felt my legs were tremulous. I thought to myself (in my 'dream'), don't be alarmed. It's just internal tremors. I even thought about Murphy93's recent thread about this (in my 'dream'). Then (while still asleep), I thought about how Antsyvee had commented on that thread that these tremors sometimes feeling like an earthquake. So I thought to myself, 'Does it feel like that?' At this point I remember the tremor feeling being more intense.
Still asleep, I started to think, 'if this is an internal tremor, it should not be visible from the outside, so let me test myself'. So, in my 'dream', I saw my leg (I seemed to be standing somewhere, but I can't be sure now). Then I turned to check my hands. I held my forearms out in from of me. But felt like they were alien hands, not connected to me. So, I think (still in my 'dream'), may be I slept on them. I tried crossing my ring and little fingers on both hands (I do this when awake to check my hand dexterity). But felt I could not do it with my left hand at first, and then with neither hand. I also felt like my index and pointer fingers were not in the position I wanted them to be in, like my hands weren't following my command. I freaked out thinking, this is it, my fears have come true. I started calling out to my mother for help (my mom has not lived with me for 18 years).
While I could hear my own cries for help, I wondered why no one was coming to help me (I was vaguely aware that my husband was up and around during this time). That's when I realized I was probably dreaming. When I awoke a little, I realized my forearms were on my chest and not held up in front of me like I had them in my 'dream'. I immediately tested my dexterity and everything moved fine. I started drifting off again, but forced myself awake to test one more time - all fine. I also looked at the time on my phone - it was 8:10 am.
Now my worry is - was that a dream or was that sleep paralysis? I started looking at back posts on here for some answers. It seems like many have experienced something similar but these people have also worried about seizures. So I started looking that up (on here not Google) and found two members' posts with real seizures that are freaking me out. I don't want to name them, but can anyone help me rationalize that what I had is not what they were describing in their posts?
Sorry for the mammoth essay, but it helps sometime to put things down.
I try hard not to post new threads. I try and read similar threads from the past, but today reading something on here has freaked me out more. I have had a very anxious couple of days due to my typical health anxiety about neurological illnesses. Last night was particularly bad. I went to bed anxious and woke up after a bad dream (where I was quarreling with my husband) at around 4:00 am or so.
I got out of bed, walked around etc. and went back to sleep at around 6:30. Now the past few weeks I have had recurrent dreams about losing the ability to move my limbs. When I wake up I feel relieved it was a dream but am always certain it was a dream because it involved being in a weird place (like a cliff) or with unusual people (like a deceased friend). But what happened earlier this morning is harder to rationalize as a dream. First I had a usual dream (being at a friend's place and wondering why were not social distancing). Then, at some point, I 'dreamt' that I was turned to my right side and felt my legs were tremulous. I thought to myself (in my 'dream'), don't be alarmed. It's just internal tremors. I even thought about Murphy93's recent thread about this (in my 'dream'). Then (while still asleep), I thought about how Antsyvee had commented on that thread that these tremors sometimes feeling like an earthquake. So I thought to myself, 'Does it feel like that?' At this point I remember the tremor feeling being more intense.
Still asleep, I started to think, 'if this is an internal tremor, it should not be visible from the outside, so let me test myself'. So, in my 'dream', I saw my leg (I seemed to be standing somewhere, but I can't be sure now). Then I turned to check my hands. I held my forearms out in from of me. But felt like they were alien hands, not connected to me. So, I think (still in my 'dream'), may be I slept on them. I tried crossing my ring and little fingers on both hands (I do this when awake to check my hand dexterity). But felt I could not do it with my left hand at first, and then with neither hand. I also felt like my index and pointer fingers were not in the position I wanted them to be in, like my hands weren't following my command. I freaked out thinking, this is it, my fears have come true. I started calling out to my mother for help (my mom has not lived with me for 18 years).
While I could hear my own cries for help, I wondered why no one was coming to help me (I was vaguely aware that my husband was up and around during this time). That's when I realized I was probably dreaming. When I awoke a little, I realized my forearms were on my chest and not held up in front of me like I had them in my 'dream'. I immediately tested my dexterity and everything moved fine. I started drifting off again, but forced myself awake to test one more time - all fine. I also looked at the time on my phone - it was 8:10 am.
Now my worry is - was that a dream or was that sleep paralysis? I started looking at back posts on here for some answers. It seems like many have experienced something similar but these people have also worried about seizures. So I started looking that up (on here not Google) and found two members' posts with real seizures that are freaking me out. I don't want to name them, but can anyone help me rationalize that what I had is not what they were describing in their posts?
Sorry for the mammoth essay, but it helps sometime to put things down.