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1234icg
02-06-20, 10:08
Hi all
Well ive been a frequent poster on this site. Have been hospitalised twice due to severe health anxiety and in a phychiatric hospital recently.
Things started back in middle of november last year. I went and saw my gp with a swollen ankle and was concerned about foot drop, and my speech being 'off', gp not concerned.
Two weeks later twitching started in random places, back to GP, says could be a symptom of MND/ALS, left in complete state of panic, which led me to take an overdose and end up in hospital.
The speech issue continued over xmas and new year and went away around beginning of feb i think.
Went to see my neurologist end of jan for a multiple sclerosis check up, and mentioned the twitching, not concerned but forgot to mention my speech issue.
Had a telephone consultation with my neurologist in April to discuss my fears, told him i had other symptoms and again said he wasnt concerned.
So 7 months on, still twitching occasionally.
The speech thing came back end of March and is still here.
Im finding i cant get words out, and in my mind i am hearing words dont sound right, words such as things ending 'ing', 'sts'.
I know speech issues can and are associated with Multiple Sclerosis, but not lasting this long!!
I called my GP on Friday last week, telling him how frustrating i was finding the speech issue and that i don't want to talk because i worry i sound bad, he asked to see me, so i went and he did a few neurological tests, eg squeeze his fingers, pushing arms down, eyes, looked at my tongue and back of throat, under tongue.
Said when i was talking to him i sounded fine, but speech slowed down when i had to think about what I wanted to say, said it wasnt slurred and tried to reassure me, but i want to go back and see my neurologist!! GP said if he was concerned he would send me himself!!
So 9 weeks with this speech issue and im scared that this could be bulbar, no one has asked if i have been drinking or said i sound drunk but i know i can hear it!!
Sorry for the long post, but in a bad place again.
Anyone else gone through anything like this?
I will say i have been under the crisis/home treatment mental health team and am now under the phychology team and waiting for first appointment.
Many thanks

BlueIris
02-06-20, 10:12
Really sorry you're having such a rough time, and glad to hear you're getting help.

I know it's tough, but you have to accept that right now, your thought patterns are faulty. Your GP and neurologist are both highly-trained professionals; if there was something wrong with your speech, you can bet they'd pick up on it.

The wrongness that you're hearing is the result of your faulty thinking patterns. I know this is hard to believe, but hopefully this will be something you can hold onto until your appointment. I know it's helped me when I was convinced there was something wrong with me that nobody else could notice.

1234icg
02-06-20, 12:17
Hi Blueiris
Many thanks for your reply, i really appreciate that you have taken the time to read my lengthy post!!
Unfortunately i do not have an appointment with the neurologist, although he has said that he would be happy to see me again, although i spoke to him on the phone 22nd April, and he said speech was fine and was confident about that.
In my head i can hear it and im listening out for every word i speak and getting nervous about what im going to sound like.
Really hope this is something that will go away and that i can work on my mental health.
Thanks so much

BlueIris
02-06-20, 12:41
Glad to do what I can, it's an awful situation.

I have one pupil slightly smaller than the other, and for the longest time I lived in Hell from the fear of it, especially after a couple of relatives of friends died from brain tumours.

1234icg
02-06-20, 13:02
Hi Blueiris
Many thanks for your reply, i appreciate you taking the time to read my lengthy post.
Unfortunately i do not have an appointment with the neurologist, but i know that he would see me as I'm an ms patient of his, i paid privately for a telephone consultation on 22 April, he said my speech was fine then!! I'm wondering if its a good idea to go back and see him face to face just to see what he would say again!!
Its so tiring being in this cycle of anxiety and its ruining my home life with husband and family, its so sad that i cant seem to get myself out of this rabbit hole!! Its all so consuming.
Thanks

1234icg
02-06-20, 13:03
Hi Blueiris
Sorry didnt mean to post another reply!! My other one hadnt shown up!!

1234icg
02-06-20, 13:05
Hi Blueiris
What did you do to make your health anxiety go away? It is a horrid place to be isnt it, especially when you think therenis something wrong and no one else says there is!! Frustrating!!

BlueIris
02-06-20, 13:18
Meds, therapy and mindfuless were what helped me.

I've had anxiety and depression for around 30 years now, but it's only been since I started citalopram that I feel things are mostly under control. Therapy helps me challenge faulty thinking patterns (I generally need a few sessions every few years or so), and mindfulness helps keep me (more or less) relaxed.

I'm lucky in that my husband is very supportive, and he helps me manage my condition - I can ask him if I'm being irrational about something and I know I'll always get an honest answer.

1234icg
02-06-20, 14:32
Hi Aes
Have you seen your gp about your worries? If so what did they say?

Fishmanpa
02-06-20, 15:40
The answer is in the title of your thread....

"Perceived" speech problems


The reality, no matter what your anxiety is telling you is you don't have ALS or MS. Addressing the real problem is the way to move forward.

Positive thoughts

1234icg
02-06-20, 21:05
Hi FMP
Thanks for your reply, but i have been diagnosed with ms two years ago, and I'm worried about mnd/als as well.
I am worried about my speech and just now have a strange feeling in the top of my mouth where the soft pallet is, its freaking me out that its failing and thats why my speech is how it is!!
Thanks ks for taking the time to read and reply.

Fishmanpa
02-06-20, 21:37
Hi FMP
Thanks for your reply, but i have been diagnosed with ms two years ago, and I'm worried about mnd/als as well.
I am worried about my speech and just now have a strange feeling in the top of my mouth where the soft pallet is, its freaking me out that its failing and thats why my speech is how it is!!
Thanks ks for taking the time to read and reply.

Sorry about the diagnosis. You're fortunate that medical science is to the point of being able to treat that and enable you to live a relatively normal life.

Concerning your fear, my statement stands. It's "Perceived" and any potential issues have been discounted by medical professionals.

Positive thoughts

1234icg
02-06-20, 22:10
Hi FMP
Thanks for replying to me again!!
Really appreciate you taking the time to read my lengthy post!!
Thanks again