A New Thing To Worry About...

[aloy-]

Sigh. It’s happening again.😞
So. I’ve had a firm stomach for a few years now. Not so much towards my lower half, but the top half of my abdomen feels pretty hard when you press on it. Never thought much of it, I gained a lot of weight due to my birth control/depression, so I pushed it off as that. I’m 23 and I think I first noticed it around 19-20, when the weight gain really started. I’ve had bloodwork done, everything looked fine. The doctor’s pushed into my stomach before to feel around, didn’t mention anything. But now, all of a sudden, I’m fixating on what it could mean/what could be causing it. I did the worst thing looking up how to lose it & found an article (sponsored — of course they would) linking a hard belly to HIV. Which is, unfortunately, one of my biggest triggers.

I’m starting therapy soon, and planning to work out more/eat better on top of it. But I guess I just needed to vent.... and get reassurance? I know there’s a ton that could be causing the feeling: hormones (which I’ve had problems with for years,) IBS, food allergies, etc, but that health anxiety side of me is digging for something else. Help please! 😞

[BlueIris]

The fact that the article is sponsored indicates that it doesn't have the interests of the public at heart, and can be safely disregarded.

Why do you think you might have contracted HIV?

[aloy-]

I’ve made a post about it before, but for a squick summary my partner had a potential exposure about 5 years ago. He got tested for it, got the all clear, buuut just like cancer, if it gets mentioned I start to get irrational fears I could have it and not even know it, even though realistically I know the chance is like, lower than 1%

I’m still associating my firm belly to the hormonal weight gain: as far as I know, that’s the reason that makes the most sense. I just always feel so ridiculous realizing how my OCD connects dots that aren’t really there to begin with.

[BlueIris]

The important thing is that you know your thoughts are irrational. Hold onto that, and the fear will pass in time - we've got your back in the meantime.

[aloy-]

Thank you so much!! �� It really means a lot. It’s been so frustrating feeling like I’m fighting with two parts of myself: the rational side, and the fearful side. I’ve been having a really rough mental health patch, so... things just keep feeling worse whenever my anxiety hits

[BlueIris]

Of course, but never forget that you're stronger than it is. YOU WILL PREVAIL! ;)