Jzmild
24-06-20, 07:18
Hi everyone. In real life I don't like to talk a lot about myself, but this is me and I'm sharing what I've experienced so that hopefully someone can relate and feel less 'crazy' and alone in this. I wrote a lot but I edited it to shorten it down:
I have health anxiety which started when I was a child. I was a perfectionist and constantly worried about things like death when I was younger, but health anxiety didn't fully manifest full swing until I learned about HIV at around 10 years and became obsessed with the disease (somehow I had convinced myself that I had it before I even fully understood how it was transmitted).
Since then my fears have ranged from rabies, more HIV, hearing loss, acoustic neuroma, cancer (all kinds).
I guess the point is that I think for me health anxiety has progressed beyond just health anxiety. For me it's about low self esteem. Feeling like I just don't deserve peace or good things to happen to me... I'm not used to something NOT going wrong. And it's about trying to be in control. My brain latching onto one worry to the next because I want to prepare myself for constant disappointment.
On another note, it's nice to meet you all
I have health anxiety which started when I was a child. I was a perfectionist and constantly worried about things like death when I was younger, but health anxiety didn't fully manifest full swing until I learned about HIV at around 10 years and became obsessed with the disease (somehow I had convinced myself that I had it before I even fully understood how it was transmitted).
Since then my fears have ranged from rabies, more HIV, hearing loss, acoustic neuroma, cancer (all kinds).
I guess the point is that I think for me health anxiety has progressed beyond just health anxiety. For me it's about low self esteem. Feeling like I just don't deserve peace or good things to happen to me... I'm not used to something NOT going wrong. And it's about trying to be in control. My brain latching onto one worry to the next because I want to prepare myself for constant disappointment.
On another note, it's nice to meet you all