View Full Version : Covitudes..
If this thread is inappropriate please feel free to remove because I don't want to upset anyone..
Most annoying words to come out of politicians' mouths during the last few months..
For me:
The Great British Public
We are making massive strides to defeat the virus/ Together we will defeat the virus (who are they trying to kid?)
Ramping up..anything
Unprecedented times (an obvious one)
Enjoy Summer Safely...(For the lucky few in their palatial second homes)
According to the latest scientific advice... (can change by the hour)
If at all possible..(Leeway to please yourself)
“When you say that we lead in coronavirus cases, that's because we have more testing than anybody else.So when we have a lot of cases, I don't look at that as a bad thing. I look at that as, in a certain respect, as being a good thing because it means our testing is much better. So I view it as a badge of honor. Really, it's a badge of honor.--Trump
That one made me want to puke.
Pamplemousse
09-07-20, 19:48
Can I add as a general thing "uptick" and "downtick" please?
What's wrong with "increase" and "decrease"?
Oh, for our own version of the Académie Française... :mad:
Urghhh......."Uptick"...Another grisly buzzword that will now feature prominently in our vocabulary no doubt.
Pamplemousse
09-07-20, 21:39
Not here it won't!
I just hate all these crappy management-speak buzzwords/phrases, like "going forward". I've heard that used like a bloddy full stop by some people.
Also add to my hate-list; people who start every sentence (usually on TV/radio interviews) with 'so'.
MyNameIsTerry
10-07-20, 05:00
So...:biggrin:
Management buzzwords are annoying. I always used to loathe 'perception management' which only ever meant 'cover our arses so we dont look bad and spin our crap performance into something less likely sounding like a load of crap'.
Flatten the curve gets my vote. Since we are talking bell shapes on a chart I would have gone with something more like 'we want a smaller bellend'.
:D I have always hated the use of the word "robust" to cover any form of policy. Also "passionate" ..
All the slick deliveries in the world can't conceal BS when it's there for all to see.
Urghhh......."Uptick"...Another grisly buzzword that will now feature prominently in our vocabulary no doubt.
Don't mean to sound pedantic, but surely the actual word 'uptick' predates this current pandemic by a long way, it's just one of many that has entered more common parlance during this pandemic.
Similar, say, to the term 'anti-social behaviour', which had already been around for eons, but didn't become a daily 'buzzword' until after 1998 when our Crime and Disorder bill was first passed in Parliament, though that's a whole 'nother story!!
I know that was a completely different thing altogether, but for the record, does anyone remember any irritating 'buzzwords' used during the Credit Crunch back in 2008-09, (which of course was our last major crisis on a global scale)?
Don't mean to sound pedantic, but surely the actual word 'uptick' predates this current pandemic by a long way, it's just one of many that has entered more common parlance during this pandemic.
Similar, say, to the term 'anti-social behaviour', which had already been around for eons, but didn't become a daily 'buzzword' until after 1998 when our Crime and Disorder bill was first passed in Parliament, though that's a whole 'nother story!!
I'd never heard of "uptick" before..Sounds like a parasite!
MyNameIsTerry
10-07-20, 14:42
I know that was a completely different thing altogether, but for the record, does anyone remember any irritating 'buzzwords' used during the Credit Crunch back in 2008-09, (which of course was our last major crisis on a global scale)?
https://media1.tenor.com/images/0f03d25b5d54a87cab1cbbf37d892099/tenor.gif?itemid=11784167
:roflmao:
"Now, more than ever" really gets under my skin.
Not Covid related, but there's a charity advert on at the moment with a woman who says "As a mother...". I'm not a mother, I will never be a mother - but I still have more than enough empathy to understand and want to help people suffering. Argh!
I agree...You don't need skills to be a birth mother but mothers in general tend to be classed as beyond reproach and positively bursting with empathy and kindness..Sadly not a general rule. Mothers shouldn't be portrayed as having the exclusive on compassion.
Now, more than ever (sorry!:D) we need truth and honesty from our politicians but that will never happen.
I've never been a big fan of cliches/buzzwords. After all, at the end of the day, if nobody has anything new to bring to the table, none of us are going to be any the wiser, moving forward. What we need is a clear goal. Is the topic of this thread fit for purpose? When all is said and done, it's hardly unprecedented, that is to say, can anyone give me a ballpark figure on this kind of thread when the shouting's over? What we need is a holistic approach, incorporating diversity, appreciation of the new normal, using our emotional intelligence and to discover some high order thinking while I consider downsizing and an exit strategy from this post.
Pamplemousse
10-07-20, 19:37
(Looks for hammer to throw at FM65) :roflmao:
Pamplemousse
10-07-20, 19:43
"Now, more than ever" really gets under my skin.
Not Covid related, but there's a charity advert on at the moment with a woman who says "As a mother...". I'm not a mother, I will never be a mother - but I still have more than enough empathy to understand and want to help people suffering. Argh!
A comment that backfired spectacularly during the previous Tory leadership campaign when Andrea Leadsom suggested being a mother made her a better choice than Theresa May.
Oh, and yes - "Now, more than ever" makes me grit my teeth too.
[QUOTE=fishman65;1957896]I've never been a big fan of cliches/buzzwords. After all, at the end of the day, if nobody has anything new to bring to the table, none of us are going to be any the wiser, moving forward. What we need is a clear goal. Is the topic of this thread fit for purpose? When all is said and done, it's hardly unprecedented, that is to say, can anyone give me a ballpark figure on this kind of thread when the shouting's over? What we need is a holistic approach, incorporating diversity, appreciation of the new normal, using our emotional intelligence and to discover some high order thinking while I consider downsizing and an exit strategy from this post.[/QUOT
An exit strategy? Please keep going, Fishman..You're a natural for the hustings! You'd give Mr Cummings a run for his vision-impaired money!
"Our silent enemy..." is getting real old.
There are a number or two-word buzz phrases that I never want to hear again:
self-isolate
social-distance
plus all the acronyms:
PPE
CV
and those all purpose phrases 'Save lives, save the NHS' and 'our heart goes out to ... blah blah blah'.
The NHS was saved . but what about saving my sanity!!
MyNameIsTerry
12-07-20, 04:49
Yeah, I can't wait to hear the term social distancing has been consigned to the dustbin of history. I always think it's a try hard term, the middle aged trying to be down with the kids.
I hate "self isolate". It just means stay at home. Also "our hearts go out to".. I know they've got to appear genuinely saddened by the number of deaths but am not sure the gush works on a regular basis.
I'm not sure those whose cancer treatment was cancelled would think that the NHS had been saved either. Saved for whom?
glassgirlw
13-07-20, 00:05
5137There are many. So, so many. Every time Trump opens his mouth I cringe because of the nonsense that spills out. Had to quit watching the national addresses because of how embarrassing he has to seem to the world.
Let’s see. My top two are probably “unprecedented” and “social distance”. Both so annoying to me.
And, I’ll just leave this gem right here...
https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/blob:https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/a6ee9e28-4fb5-49b2-9685-dfe9414cb9c9
Yep, Trump and testing is the one that gets me, glassgirl.
The worst one I've heard, Pulisa is...drum roll please!
The New Normal!
"The science is constantly evolving". In other words, they're making it up as they go along.
"The science is constantly evolving". In other words, they're making it up as they go along.
That's a good one!
"I don't think we should be addressing these issues when we are still fighting a pandemic" ie We're not going to say that we made mistakes. We're never going to say that we made mistakes. We're up against it now but we're not going to admit that either.
Pamplemousse
15-07-20, 14:01
Science does constantly evolve though and always has done.
Phlogiston, anyone? Sub-atomic particles? Wave/particle duality of light?
Science does constantly evolve though and always has done.
Of course it does but we're referring to platitudes/excuses used re COVID here.
You appear to take every opportunity to contradict and discredit Hollow. Very un-classy, Pample :lac:
It's horrible to see how Covid is affecting people..how it's affecting every single aspect of our lives.
I know that we're not "all in this together"..That's another hideous covitude.
Don't know what to say really..Just that it's a shame a virus has caused such divisiveness and I'm guilty myself of having strong feelings.
Science does constantly evolve though and always has done.
Phlogiston, anyone? Sub-atomic particles? Wave/particle duality of light?
Actually, science doesn't constantly evolve.
Group hug time!!! :bighug1:
Can I be in the middle?
Sure, but KK's junk might rub up on you...unless that's your aim ;)
Sure, but KK's junk might rub up on you...unless that's your aim ;)
Shouldn't I be more worried about his aim?
Shouldn't I be more worried about his aim?
Nah, he's gentle ;)
Oh?!
Don't get jealous ;)
Don't get jealous ;)
Ya think ya know someone
LOL, Hey, I gotta keep you all on your toes ;)
Why do you want us on our toes? I can't even imagine what you have in mind.😬
LOL See! You do know me that well ;)
Why do you want us on our toes? I can't even imagine what you have in mind.
Digital Domination?
Digital Domination?
Oh yeah! You're first, P ;)
I never toe the line though..
I never toe the line though..
LOL That's what I like about you ;)
I never toe the line though..
I'm in the presence of pun greatness!
MyNameIsTerry
15-07-20, 20:34
Why do you want us on our toes? I can't even imagine what you have in mind.😬
Perhaps touching your toes? Get a room you two :ohmy::blush:
Don't be like that, Terry. We'll let you join in ;)
MyNameIsTerry
15-07-20, 20:43
Don't be like that, Terry. We'll let you join in ;)
I thought you knew me well enough to know that's just not a threat? https://yoursmiles.org/tsmile/sex/t1583.gif:roflmao:
MyNameIsTerry
16-07-20, 05:02
I'll get this one in before the inquests start...'lessons will be learned'.
A phrase usually trundle out when the authorities have yet again failed to protect children from horrendous abuse leading to their murders. :mad:
Ugh, Terry, why’d you have to go there :p. I was trying to lighten the mood.
"My heart goes out....." Said too many times now by the politicians.
My favourite for this week from an MP after travelling the length of the uk by train with confirmed covid “ the covid made me act out of character “ new get out of jail free card the covid made me do it .
I call a spade a spade I didn’t even know what a platitude was , most people would be more comfortable with easy to understand terms such as , we haven’t got a f**king clue , keep the f**k away from me , come out of your house and you will be shot in the eye , this is f**king bad real bad , worse than yesterday but not as bad as a terrible hair day , when will this be over , sooner than you think going by your temperature, honesty is the best policy unless you’re an MP .
MyNameIsTerry
14-10-20, 01:33
Circuit breaker. Daft term.
MyNameIsTerry
14-10-20, 01:35
My favourite for this week from an MP after travelling the length of the uk by train with confirmed covid “ the covid made me act out of character “ new get out of jail free card the covid made me do it .
I call a spade a spade I didn’t even know what a platitude was , most people would be more comfortable with easy to understand terms such as , we haven’t got a f**king clue , keep the f**k away from me , come out of your house and you will be shot in the eye , this is f**king bad real bad , worse than yesterday but not as bad as a terrible hair day , when will this be over , sooner than you think going by your temperature, honesty is the best policy unless you’re an MP .
Was that the utterly irresponsible SNP one, Buster? You can bet your house, like with all politicians, she only 'reported herself to the police' because she was found out and offered the chance to walk the plank with or without a cutlass up the bum.
Some of them have got away with it despite even whining about others. The SNP one was one complaining about Cummings so it just shows how much she cares just like that Scottish head of the NHS who flitted between her homes until the media caught her out. I'm still awaiting seeing Stephen Kinnock having the whip removed for his visit to his hypocrite of a dad but it seems some areas of swamps across parties are enjoying some protection...
Yeah Terry the Scottish one can’t be bothered to look up her useless name but the fact she said that and expected us to believe it was in incredible, so the new covid symptoms to look out for are , high temperature, persistent cough and acting out of character ie getting a test then jumping on a train going to church and the gym , the last two are out of character for me before covid anyway .
Circuit F**king breaker ? WTF ? Are they asking electricians for covid advice ? What next ask a plumber , Stop tap intervention.
They p**s on you and tell you it’s raining , I think lockdown may have given me swearing turrets or anger issues , on a plus side my swear jar has enough in for a good therapist.
I'll get this one in before the inquests start...'lessons will be learned'.
A phrase usually trundle out when the authorities have yet again failed to protect children from horrendous abuse leading to their murders. :mad:
As far as I am concerned, child abuse still remains one of the biggest 'elephants in the room', especially if it's of a non-sexual nature. And yet many continue to gleefully look back at their own childhoods and boast about being battered black and blue by their parents (and teachers prior to 1986) and proclaim to have 'turned out fine', and then keep harping on about 'kids today, blah, blah, blah'.
"Increasing exponentially"..I mean I'd not the foggiest as to what "exponentially" meant BC (Before Covid) and now I'm fed up to the back teeth of hearing this uttered every time a politician opens his or her mouth.
I'm with Buster..why not just speak normally to the common people? Cut the crap and come clean? Cut the crap about the Great British Public because en masse we're not Great. We're average with human flaws.
Apparently that Scottish MP travelled on a train with diagnosed covid because the virus had affected her judgement....That's a good one and opens the floodgates for many more excuses to come from those in high office. Caught out, public grovelling apology, keep head down for a while and carry on regardless..
"Increasing exponentially"..I mean I'd not the foggiest as to what "exponentially" meant BC (Before Covid) and now I'm fed up to the back teeth of hearing this uttered every time a politician opens his or her mouth.
I'm with Buster..why not just speak normally to the common people? Cut the crap and come clean? Cut the crap about the Great British Public because en masse we're not Great. We're average with human flaws.
Apparently that Scottish MP travelled on a train with diagnosed covid because the virus had affected her judgement....That's a good one and opens the floodgates for many more excuses to come from those in high office. Caught out, public grovelling apology, keep head down for a while and carry on regardless..
I’m waiting on Nicola “wee nippy” Sturgeon telling us that if Scotland were independent then her fellow SNP member wouldn’t have had to travel anywhere. Then that’ll be yet another bloody mandate for her beloved independence.
Apparently that Scottish MP travelled on a train with diagnosed covid because the virus had affected her judgement....That's a good one and opens the floodgates for many more excuses to come from those in high office. Caught out, public grovelling apology, keep head down for a while and carry on regardless..This example here Pulisa. We have to wonder what degree of influence this behaviour has on the general public. If the politicians can't even follow their own rules, many people are going to become less compliant. Which I think is what we're seeing now.
This example here Pulisa. We have to wonder what degree of influence this behaviour has on the general public. If the politicians can't even follow their own rules, many people are going to become less compliant. Which I think is what we're seeing now.
I think the problem is that politicians believe they are above all this and are free to make their own interpretations of the rules. So do other people who are not politicians or famous/infamous. They do what they want because they can and because they enjoy being challenged and because it's their "right".
Pamplemousse
15-10-20, 21:08
"Increasing exponentially"..I mean I'd not the foggiest as to what "exponentially" meant BC (Before Covid) and now I'm fed up to the back teeth of hearing this uttered every time a politician opens his or her mouth.
I'm with Buster..why not just speak normally to the common people?
It's a mathematical term (I learned about it in secondary school) and it is about as short a term as can be used to describe what is happening to the numbers.
Yeah, exponentially means it rises in a steep acceleration. You can only get an exponent numerically when something is squared, cubed, etc. When you graph a number with an exponent, it looks like the hill of a roller coaster on the graph.
MyNameIsTerry
16-10-20, 05:59
As far as I am concerned, child abuse still remains one of the biggest 'elephants in the room', especially if it's of a non-sexual nature. And yet many continue to gleefully look back at their own childhoods and boast about being battered black and blue by their parents (and teachers prior to 1986) and proclaim to have 'turned out fine', and then keep harping on about 'kids today, blah, blah, blah'.
Yes, but there is a massive difference. I was smacked and am fine. I doubt I would do it but my chances of being a dad are dwindling anyway. But my parents only gave the typical bum or leg slap, a light one. That's not the horrendous stuff that we see as child abuse otherwise every parent at some point has physically or emotionally abused their child.
I also think it's a generational thing. For instance, in my parents day using canes, belts, etc was commonplace. Board rubbers were thrown at kids. Some turned out bad, some weren't affected and some ended up like people on here scarred by it. As these generations move on the most you will hear is people of our generation talking about more limited punishment. And as we pass it changes again.
Remember, giving your wife a slap was all good when our parents were kids.
MyNameIsTerry
16-10-20, 06:03
"Increasing exponentially"..I mean I'd not the foggiest as to what "exponentially" meant BC (Before Covid) and now I'm fed up to the back teeth of hearing this uttered every time a politician opens his or her mouth.
I'm with Buster..why not just speak normally to the common people? Cut the crap and come clean? Cut the crap about the Great British Public because en masse we're not Great. We're average with human flaws.
Apparently that Scottish MP travelled on a train with diagnosed covid because the virus had affected her judgement....That's a good one and opens the floodgates for many more excuses to come from those in high office. Caught out, public grovelling apology, keep head down for a while and carry on regardless..
Aha so she's trying on Nancy Pelosi's nonsense then :roflmao: Must remember that one for the drink driving pull :whistles:
Imagine if they did speak normally. How would they hide their nonsense "erm, yeah, it's like this, I f#cked up because I'm crap" :yesyes:
People would more likely vote for that bloke. They all go through the same lawyer speak training. Just a bunch of androids...
MyNameIsTerry
16-10-20, 06:07
This example here Pulisa. We have to wonder what degree of influence this behaviour has on the general public. If the politicians can't even follow their own rules, many people are going to become less compliant. Which I think is what we're seeing now.
I think the problem is that politicians believe they are above all this and are free to make their own interpretations of the rules. So do other people who are not politicians or famous/infamous. They do what they want because they can and because they enjoy being challenged and because it's their "right".
It's an overinflated sense of self importance. The boss of the local chippy can be the same. I think we common folk just call them d1cks.
Fishman is right. And it also feeds the paranoid deniers who jumped on Cummings doing it, and that SAGE booty call guy, to confirm their bias that 'the man' knows it's fake.
Terry over here we call em worse than dIcks you should hear what they call Pauline Hanson.:roflmao:
How are you?and your mum.x
Terry, I hope that you are coping as best you can x
It's a mathematical term (I learned about it in secondary school) and it is about as short a term as can be used to describe what is happening to the numbers.
What about "skyrocketing"?
Pamplemousse
16-10-20, 09:06
What about "skyrocketing"?
Ummm... it sounds silly and doesn't really describe the current situation?
Yes, but there is a massive difference. I was smacked and am fine. I doubt I would do it but my chances of being a dad are dwindling anyway. But my parents only gave the typical bum or leg slap, a light one. That's not the horrendous stuff that we see as child abuse otherwise every parent at some point has physically or emotionally abused their child.
I also think it's a generational thing. For instance, in my parents day using canes, belts, etc was commonplace. Board rubbers were thrown at kids. Some turned out bad, some weren't affected and some ended up like people on here scarred by it. As these generations move on the most you will hear is people of our generation talking about more limited punishment. And as we pass it changes again.
Remember, giving your wife a slap was all good when our parents were kids.
Like you (and many others), I had a few 'ordinary' slaps off my parents as a child (mostly my mom) and I must admit that it didn't do me any lasting damage, but that's not quite the same as being viciously beaten black and blue and with 'weapons' such as canes, belts, footwear, utensils, etc. In fairness, CP is a grey area with many variables, it can work for some, and beget violence and further misbehaviour in others.
What I often resented was being slapped for unjust reasons such as 'accidents' like pulling the cutlery drawer right out and the lot crash-bang-walloping onto the kitchen floor and dropping a bottle of milk on the kitchen floor, which my mom used to go berserk at me over back in the 80s.
You're also correct about wife-battering being the norm when our parents' generation were kids, but that too sadly continues to be another 'elephant in the room' today.
I think the problem is that politicians believe they are above all this and are free to make their own interpretations of the rules. So do other people who are not politicians or famous/infamous. They do what they want because they can and because they enjoy being challenged and because it's their "right".
What about school teachers who have been known to break rules over the years as well?
I have heard various tales about some (especially before the 90s) sneaking into the back cupboard of the classroom necking bottles of Scotch and the like which they secretly stashed away in their desk drawers.
Sometimes also indulging in other dubious antics in those cupboards such as smoking and/or sexual activities.
Hardly surprising some pupils went on to blatantly break the rules with the 'do as I say, not as I do' double standards attitudes from staff.
Ummm... it sounds silly and doesn't really describe the current situation?
Doesn't it?
Like you (and many others), I had a few 'ordinary' slaps off my parents as a child (mostly my mom) and I must admit that it didn't do me any lasting damage, but that's not quite the same as being viciously beaten black and blue and with 'weapons' such as canes, belts, footwear, utensils, etc. In fairness, CP is a grey area with many variables, it can work for some, and beget violence and further misbehaviour in others.
What I often resented was being slapped for unjust reasons such as 'accidents' like pulling the cutlery drawer right out and the lot crash-bang-walloping onto the kitchen floor and dropping a bottle of milk on the kitchen floor, which my mom used to go berserk at me over back in the 80s.
You're also correct about wife-battering being the norm when our parents' generation were kids, but that too sadly continues to be another 'elephant in the room' today.Sometimes its the psychological cruelty I remember the most. I have vague recollections of being in pre-school and tried to tell the attending adults that I felt sick. I seem to remember being ignored until standing in the dinner queue I was sick. Then further vague recollections of being dragged along by one arm and told to shut up. The whole experience was a feeling of 'abandonment'. I was told many years later by my Mum that she pulled me out of there because she wasn't happy with their attitude.
Sometimes its the psychological cruelty I remember the most. I have vague recollections of being in pre-school and tried to tell the attending adults that I felt sick. I seem to remember being ignored until standing in the dinner queue I was sick. Then further vague recollections of being dragged along by one arm and told to shut up. The whole experience was a feeling of 'abandonment'. I was told many years later by my Mum that she pulled me out of there because she wasn't happy with their attitude.
That sucks Fishman, that really sucks!!
Is it any wonder that many people the world over suffer intensely from emetophobia, partly stemming from being ridiculed and chastised for vomiting as young children, especially by incompetent school staff who aren't in any way fit to be in the profession?
Being chastised and shamed for vomiting is one of the cruelest and most inhumane treatments ever IMO, just like children being denied the use of the toilet, then wetting/soiling themselves and being unjustly chastised for it, by both teachers and parents.
P.S, I really don't miss any of the vile hospital food they used to dish out in Staffs County Council-run schools back in the 80s. Even thinking about those ghastly meals some 35 years later still makes me want to gag!!
MyNameIsTerry
17-10-20, 01:38
Terry over here we call em worse than dIcks you should hear what they call Pauline Hanson.:roflmao:
How are you?and your mum.x
Terry, I hope that you are coping as best you can x
I'm not surprised, Lola, Nigel Farage would blush at some of her opinions.
Thanks for asking, Lola & pulisa. We've been visited by the Memory Clinic and will hear back in a week. He agreed there was a short term memory problem but she did well in some of the tests. They want to try an antidepressant to see if it lowers her anxiety and lifts mood but he's asking their doctors about it. She won't leave the house for a CT scan so we will work on that and maybe a lift from meds might help.
It's hard going though. Each day it can be ok or awful. The arguments and silences between my parents just make the symptoms worse as you would expect. I've told dad he needs to stop being stubborn as he used to be and make the first move as it will cool things down so his day gets easier. They talk, sort it out and mum's forgotten it all soon afterwards so things ease up. We have moments where she is more who she was or wants to do more too which we are going to try to use to get her more active.
We're coping but dreading the future.
I really feel for you, Terry. You're in the unenviable position of being the mediator between them yet you soak up all the angst and distress and have to carry on yourself as best you can. "Coping" covers such a wide range of issues..but it can just be about getting through the hours which is gruelling. I don't need to tell you to look after your own mental health, Terry and talk to us on here if you want to. You've done so much for everyone else xx
I really feel for you, Terry. You're in the unenviable position of being the mediator between them yet you soak up all the angst and distress and have to carry on yourself as best you can. "Coping" covers such a wide range of issues..but it can just be about getting through the hours which is gruelling. I don't need to tell you to look after your own mental health, Terry and talk to us on here if you want to. You've done so much for everyone else xx
I am in the very same boat as my mom has dementia and has had for probably more than 5 years now. It was suspected as early as 2014 but the health professionals were sadly caught napping at the time and my mom wasn't officially diagnosed until approximately 2017-18.
It's really hard at times as my dad has to bear the bulk of the burden of responsibilities, alongside helping me to manage my own personal issues due to my own disability. Worst of all, she cannot comprehend the risks of Covid, and can get quite stubborn with both me and my dad when asked to social distance, not to touch anything that might be contaminated with Covid prior to sanitisation, and throws a paddy whenever she's told she can't go in a shop with my dad.
It does now seem in many respects that me and dad are now in the role of parents and mom is now in the role of a vulnerable child, which is very sad.
It's also extremely sad that health and social care in this country has become so politicised over the years, and particularly ravaged by 'blame' culture.
Same with the likes of education, etc, but that's another story.
That sucks Fishman, that really sucks!!
Is it any wonder that many people the world over suffer intensely from emetophobia, partly stemming from being ridiculed and chastised for vomiting as young children, especially by incompetent school staff who aren't in any way fit to be in the profession?
Being chastised and shamed for vomiting is one of the cruelest and most inhumane treatments ever IMO, just like children being denied the use of the toilet, then wetting/soiling themselves and being unjustly chastised for it, by both teachers and parents.
P.S, I really don't miss any of the vile hospital food they used to dish out in Staffs County Council-run schools back in the 80s. Even thinking about those ghastly meals some 35 years later still makes me want to gag!!Sorry Lenco I missed this. Yes it does suck, of course at that age I thought that was normal. All I wanted was some reassurance and understanding but got neither, but we're talking late 60s/1970 so I'm sure that treatment was common then. By contrast my daughter who is now 21 went to a local playgroup that I've only ever heard good things about. They kept a Noddy book especially for her.
I really feel for you, Terry. You're in the unenviable position of being the mediator between them yet you soak up all the angst and distress and have to carry on yourself as best you can. "Coping" covers such a wide range of issues..but it can just be about getting through the hours which is gruelling. I don't need to tell you to look after your own mental health, Terry and talk to us on here if you want to. You've done so much for everyone else xxYes I second this Terry. You are so often seen offering advice and reassurance on these boards while seeking none for yourself. We're listening ok mate? Take good care.
Sorry Lenco I missed this. Yes it does suck, of course at that age I thought that was normal. All I wanted was some reassurance and understanding but got neither, but we're talking late 60s/1970 so I'm sure that treatment was common then. By contrast my daughter who is now 21 went to a local playgroup that I've only ever heard good things about. They kept a Noddy book especially for her.
That was nice for your daughter, Fishman, the complete opposite to the way those barstewards at your nursery/preschool treated you.
And it sounds like that kind of treatment was par for the course in many of those establishments back in the late 60s-early 70s, even though many who were about 3-4 years old during that era now say 'we still turned out fine though'. Perhaps many were just lucky and managed to simply let it go as they grew up, whilst others were seemingly scarred for life by it and often never believed.
I developed an eating disorder at the age of 7 in 1984, because this nasty old battleaxe of a teaching assistant made me eat cheese and potato pie for lunch one day, when I already felt a bit nauseous during the morning but didn't dare tell any of the staff because I feared being treated like crap by them and possibly be made to puke.
When I was gagging on the cheese and potato pie she shouted at me that if I did that once more she would pull my trousers down and smack me.
This was genuine inhumane treatment of a vulnerable Aspie child and I am most certainly not a snowflake or woke.
Mrs Beardsmore, hang your head in shame!!
That was nice for your daughter, Fishman, the complete opposite to the way those barstewards at your nursery/preschool treated you.
And it sounds like that kind of treatment was par for the course in many of those establishments back in the late 60s-early 70s, even though many who were about 3-4 years old during that era now say 'we still turned out fine though'. Perhaps many were just lucky and managed to simply let it go as they grew up, whilst others were seemingly scarred for life by it and often never believed.
I developed an eating disorder at the age of 7 in 1984, because this nasty old battleaxe of a teaching assistant made me eat cheese and potato pie for lunch one day, when I already felt a bit nauseous during the morning but didn't dare tell any of the staff because I feared being treated like crap by them and possibly be made to puke.
When I was gagging on the cheese and potato pie she shouted at me that if I did that once more she would pull my trousers down and smack me.
This was genuine inhumane treatment of a vulnerable Aspie child and I am most certainly not a snowflake or woke.
Mrs Beardsmore, hang your head in shame!!That's diabolical treatment Lenco, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I totally agree that ok yes, some children probably weren't that badly affected by such ill treatment. But more sensitive children almost certainly were. We remember these kinds of events whether consciously or subconsciously and you have to wonder to what degree they manifest in later life. Poor mental health, addiction etc., or repetition of the behaviour on their own children.
I was traumatised by being forced to eat every single scrap of my school dinner..including gristle and fat..and having to stand in front of the whole class chewing and gagging until I finished. Probably explains partly why I still have an ED over 50 years later. I passed my Eleven Plus though and academic results were paramount.
MyNameIsTerry
19-10-20, 05:18
Primary was fine for me. Then came secondary where some of the teachers needed a psychiatric assessment. There were a few great teachers, one in particular. That was my favourite subject and it was because of his enthusiasm compared to some others who were just picking up their paycheck.
We had some screwed up teachers. One woman who never wore a bra and liked sitting on the lads desks bending forward with buttons down (obviously no complaints from us...) One woman who had a relationship with a boy <16. One man who had a relationship with a girl <16. One PE teacher would line us up along a wall with our hands out so he could kick footballs at them. Another male PE teacher who tried to see the boys in the showers so we always planned around when he was likely to take us. There was a good teacher who took us for metal/woodwork but keep sawing fingers off (the circular saw bench didn't even have a guard on it) :doh:
All back in the days when being a sexual predator in schools ranged from being fine to getting a slap on the wrist. Nowadays it's prison and the sex offenders register.
The idiot PE teachers definitely affected my confidence into later life. I've also found physical stuff difficult. My mum even fell out with them over their remarks. She once replied at a teacher parent evening, upon the sex perv being derogatory, 'well it's only PE, where does that get you in life. As long as the important subjects are going well I'm not fussed about this subject'. :roflmao:
MyNameIsTerry
19-10-20, 05:26
I am in the very same boat as my mom has dementia and has had for probably more than 5 years now. It was suspected as early as 2014 but the health professionals were sadly caught napping at the time and my mom wasn't officially diagnosed until approximately 2017-18.
It's really hard at times as my dad has to bear the bulk of the burden of responsibilities, alongside helping me to manage my own personal issues due to my own disability. Worst of all, she cannot comprehend the risks of Covid, and can get quite stubborn with both me and my dad when asked to social distance, not to touch anything that might be contaminated with Covid prior to sanitisation, and throws a paddy whenever she's told she can't go in a shop with my dad.
It does now seem in many respects that me and dad are now in the role of parents and mom is now in the role of a vulnerable child, which is very sad.
It's also extremely sad that health and social care in this country has become so politicised over the years, and particularly ravaged by 'blame' culture.
Same with the likes of education, etc, but that's another story.
You are far ahead of us with your mum's mental health whereas we are only starting. Knowing how difficult it is for us I can only imagine the pressure and emotional upset you all go through.
I hope you get all the support there is and that you all remain well as much as possible.
MyNameIsTerry
19-10-20, 05:32
Wash hands. Cover face. Make space.
Am I the only one who immediately thought of politicians about to get caught out for something? It sounds like what they do :whistles:
MyNameIsTerry
19-10-20, 05:38
I really feel for you, Terry. You're in the unenviable position of being the mediator between them yet you soak up all the angst and distress and have to carry on yourself as best you can. "Coping" covers such a wide range of issues..but it can just be about getting through the hours which is gruelling. I don't need to tell you to look after your own mental health, Terry and talk to us on here if you want to. You've done so much for everyone else xx
Yes I second this Terry. You are so often seen offering advice and reassurance on these boards while seeking none for yourself. We're listening ok mate? Take good care.
Thanks for your very kind words and offers, pulisa & fishman. It means a lot. Any guidance will always be appreciated.
Dad is getting very down and the lack of sleep is hitting him hard. Some days he's very negative. I'm just trying not to react to some of this and steering him away from thinking the worst. But some days it is hard to not say stop.
I would be lying if I said it wasn't affecting me. Negativity, arguments and moodies have been a problem with my anxiety and it certainly upsets mum too. It's impossible to not react though sometimes.
Yes it IS impossible because we are not robots and are allowed to express our emotions too. It's gruelling trying to keep a loved one going and trying to lift spirits all the time. It has very negative repercussions on our own mental health. I frequently get angry and frustrated but it does no good really and we continue to go round and round in circles. It wouldn't be so bad if we had a decent support network and I'm sure your local services are just as bad, Terry?
Did you get any feedback as to when you'll get a written response from the assessment team?
Yes it IS impossible because we are not robots and are allowed to express our emotions too. It's gruelling trying to keep a loved one going and trying to lift spirits all the time. It has very negative repercussions on our own mental health. I frequently get angry and frustrated but it does no good really and we continue to go round and round in circles. It wouldn't be so bad if we had a decent support network and I'm sure your local services are just as bad, Terry?
Did you get any feedback as to when you'll get a written response from the assessment team?
You're right Pulisa, losing our bottle often does more damage, even though it's highly tempting at times.
That's diabolical treatment Lenco, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I totally agree that ok yes, some children probably weren't that badly affected by such ill treatment. But more sensitive children almost certainly were. We remember these kinds of events whether consciously or subconsciously and you have to wonder to what degree they manifest in later life. Poor mental health, addiction etc., or repetition of the behaviour on their own children.
Definitely diabolical treatment, Fishman.
And following that ordeal where I developed said eating disorder, I had to attend a residential school from January 86 where I had to suffer further inhumane treatments by staff (and very occasionally, other pupils) simply for being an Aspie.
Yes we do live in more enlightened times now but sadly there are many people who are still stuck in the past when it comes to treatment of people with learning disabilities, especially those who still think we should be seen and not heard.
Another example of an 'elephant in the room'.
I was traumatised by being forced to eat every single scrap of my school dinner..including gristle and fat..and having to stand in front of the whole class chewing and gagging until I finished. Probably explains partly why I still have an ED over 50 years later. I passed my Eleven Plus though and academic results were paramount.
Horrible, horrible treatment, Pulisa.
I really can't get my head round the mentality of certain teachers, especially humiliating certain pupils like that in front of an entire class group or even an entire school.
That doesn't only amount to bullying by the school staff but it also encourages further bullying by other pupils, thus 'advertising' the potential weaknesses of the pupils concerned.
Diabolical.
Primary was fine for me. Then came secondary where some of the teachers needed a psychiatric assessment. There were a few great teachers, one in particular. That was my favourite subject and it was because of his enthusiasm compared to some others who were just picking up their paycheck.
We had some screwed up teachers. One woman who never wore a bra and liked sitting on the lads desks bending forward with buttons down (obviously no complaints from us...) One woman who had a relationship with a boy <16. One man who had a relationship with a girl <16. One PE teacher would line us up along a wall with our hands out so he could kick footballs at them. Another male PE teacher who tried to see the boys in the showers so we always planned around when he was likely to take us. There was a good teacher who took us for metal/woodwork but keep sawing fingers off (the circular saw bench didn't even have a guard on it) :doh:
All back in the days when being a sexual predator in schools ranged from being fine to getting a slap on the wrist. Nowadays it's prison and the sex offenders register.
The idiot PE teachers definitely affected my confidence into later life. I've also found physical stuff difficult. My mum even fell out with them over their remarks. She once replied at a teacher parent evening, upon the sex perv being derogatory, 'well it's only PE, where does that get you in life. As long as the important subjects are going well I'm not fussed about this subject'. :roflmao:
Ah, those legendary sadist PE teachers and the shower horror stories!
God knows how the woodwork teachers got away with letting pupils use guardless power tools, and the mishaps in chemistry lessons involving potentially lethal substances, with even fires sometimes starting in the labs often due to the kids fooling around with stuff. Total lack of H & S.
And the dubious antics of some of your secondary teachers, such as affairs with certain pupils, how the hell did they used to get away with it?
Like you said, they were probably chasing their paychecks and of course probably had the NUT and the like to bail them out in case of any allegations of any kind made against them.
MyNameIsTerry
19-10-20, 13:02
Gawd, now 'circuit-breaker' is old hat and we have 'firebreaker' :doh:
Sturgeon will be annoyed that it is Wales that have broken the ranks of UK terminology rather than her queendom.
MyNameIsTerry
19-10-20, 13:11
Yes it IS impossible because we are not robots and are allowed to express our emotions too. It's gruelling trying to keep a loved one going and trying to lift spirits all the time. It has very negative repercussions on our own mental health. I frequently get angry and frustrated but it does no good really and we continue to go round and round in circles. It wouldn't be so bad if we had a decent support network and I'm sure your local services are just as bad, Terry?
Did you get any feedback as to when you'll get a written response from the assessment team?
Nothing yet. He said he would first speak to their doctors about her case and meds then call us within a week. We will have to ask about support and see what they say. I'm not sure about dementia but adult mental health around here us your typical self help then CBT route. It should be different for dementia since it's closer to a physical complaint than anxiety and depression so maybe there will be more?
We do have charity support groups. The one I used to go to had set up a carers open session. I will have a look but I don't think dad will use them.
I think it's not just the medical side but general guidance needed. Knowing how to handle situations when she won't comply and what will only make it worse. We asked the mental health nurse but he was non committal on it.
MyNameIsTerry
19-10-20, 13:16
Ah, those legendary sadist PE teachers and the shower horror stories!
God knows how the woodwork teachers got away with letting pupils use guardless power tools, and the mishaps in chemistry lessons involving potentially lethal substances, with even fires sometimes starting in the labs often due to the kids fooling around with stuff. Total lack of H & S.
And the dubious antics of some of your secondary teachers, such as affairs with certain pupils, how the hell did they used to get away with it?
Like you said, they were probably chasing their paychecks and of course probably had the NUT and the like to bail them out in case of any allegations of any kind made against them.
Different society. What has changed it is the shift towards viewing child sexual abuse for what it is. It's like how women weren't supported against sex offenders going back decades. It was the same with children, Christ on a bike we even had an organisation openly campaigning for the rights of child sex abusers not too many decades ago who latched onto the far rights movement and some well known MPs cut their teeth as activists having links to them.
I have no doubt a young child, especially a male teacher with them, would have been very different. But at 15 that line got hazy as society saw them as randy teenagers. That hazy line is now a very firm red one.
Different society. What has changed it is the shift towards viewing child sexual abuse for what it is. It's like how women weren't supported against sex offenders going back decades. It was the same with children, Christ on a bike we even had an organisation openly campaigning for the rights of child sex abusers not too many decades ago who latched onto the far rights movement and some well known MPs cut their teeth as activists having links to them.
I have no doubt a young child, especially a male teacher with them, would have been very different. But at 15 that line got hazy as society saw them as randy teenagers. That hazy line is now a very firm red one.
Yes, there was often that assumption (especially before the 90s) that many 'randy' teenagers, girls in particular, probably 'asked' for sexual advances and the authorities often refused to believe them whenever they attempted to seek help.
Though obviously, especially in these more enlightened times, thing are now very different, though it does still astound me how many of those unscrupulous corrupt teachers of yesteryear still managed to slip through the net and even gain a Cert-Ed in the first place.
Thanks for your very kind words and offers, pulisa & fishman. It means a lot. Any guidance will always be appreciated.
Dad is getting very down and the lack of sleep is hitting him hard. Some days he's very negative. I'm just trying not to react to some of this and steering him away from thinking the worst. But some days it is hard to not say stop.
I would be lying if I said it wasn't affecting me. Negativity, arguments and moodies have been a problem with my anxiety and it certainly upsets mum too. It's impossible to not react though sometimes.Its hardly surprising Terry that this current situation would affect yourself, especially if you're the default mediator. And the level and duration of stress is inevitably going to see you reacting sometimes, you're not a saint. Is there nobody that could step in, even for a short while?
I know its not quite the same, but last week I was phoning my Dad's energy provider to check his smart meters, without success. He was getting angrier by the minute to the point where I couldn't hear them on the phone. I very nearly walked out but knew how much that would have upset him. You must feel that exasperation constantly. All the best to you mate and keep posting on here.
MyNameIsTerry
20-10-20, 06:16
Its hardly surprising Terry that this current situation would affect yourself, especially if you're the default mediator. And the level and duration of stress is inevitably going to see you reacting sometimes, you're not a saint. Is there nobody that could step in, even for a short while?
I know its not quite the same, but last week I was phoning my Dad's energy provider to check his smart meters, without success. He was getting angrier by the minute to the point where I couldn't hear them on the phone. I very nearly walked out but knew how much that would have upset him. You must feel that exasperation constantly. All the best to you mate and keep posting on here.
Thanks, fishman. I can understand that, I'm finding that with my dad. He's reacting to mum and she just digs in further. But I know he's struggling so I just try to calm it and talk about different ways to react later when we are alone. The lack of sleep is affecting him and we all get cranky with that. I react less now than I a couple of months back. I'm worried he is making himself worse.
Sadly no one else can help us. My brother is in Yorkshire nowadays. Other relatives are not close enough but they do speak to dad and one of my aunties spends a lot of time with another who has had dementia for some time (and more advanced to the point of not knowing people). I've told my brother to keep in touch as it is another avenue he can offload on and it is good for mum to hear his voice. But he's too remote to tackle what's going on daily.
I think my brother will need to be calling more as time goes on so he gets more involved in mediation.
Luckily I'm not as bad as a few years back. I don't know how I would have coped then.
You would have coped, Terry..on the surface at least. It's what we do. It doesn't take away from the enormity of the strain though. Being a mediator is gruelling, ghastly and extremely isolating even without having covid in the equation.
MyNameIsTerry
21-10-20, 05:09
Thanks, pulisa. It would have extremely hard back then on top of fighting a stupid employer and the mess meds were making.
Anyone going through such strain at such an intensive stage of their mental health problems gets a hats off from me.
You would have done what needed to be done, Terry. It gives you a reason to carry on.
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