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katniss
09-07-20, 19:24
Hey everyone,

I haven’t posted in a while as I have been doing okay. Actually more than okay. I’ve been doing quite well in terms of my health anxiety. However it’s come back again with a vengeance. This time it’s about my worst fear ever - brain tumours. See I recently applied to a doctorate program and still haven’t heard back. This has sent my anxiety through the roof. I am checking my email and application site several times a day. Because I’m a teacher I am currently on break, and although I have my kids at home to care of, I really relied on a daily routine with work, after school etc; With the covid situation I’ve just been very thrown off the routine which is again raising my anxiety levels.

Yesterday I was eating while watching a movie and for a second I couldn’t swallow my chips. I literally panicked. I also feel like the peripheral vision in my left eye is blurry. Therefore I feel like I have vision issues attributable to a brain tumour of course. Honestly I don’t know if anything is even wrong with my eyes but I feel like there is something wrong with the left side. I’m just in a really strange place right now. Please help

Cptdebbie
10-07-20, 01:18
Hi Katniss,
I don't know what happened during your experience. I do know, however, that anxiety does crazy things to our bodies and our vision. I have been super focused on my vision for the past few months. Last Friday I had a migraine aura for the first time in my life and went to the ER. I had a CT scan and all was well. I also got a thorough eye exam and my doc said all was well. So, for the last few days, I've been watching all the strange anomalies in my vision knowing now that these are all normal. What a crazy ride!!!! There are so many things that our brains just tune out, until they don't.

My peripheral vision often looks weird. The other day I realized it was because I had some eye gunk stuck back there. My bet is you are okay.

Congratulations on applying for a doctorate program. I was in a PHD program when I found out my husband had cancer. I dropped out with everything done but my dissertation. I hope to finish it up one day. It definitely is a stressful process.

Best to you!!!
Debbie

bluebella
10-07-20, 05:53
I agree with previous post and l think anxiety can often affect vision. Even when we are not aware of any anxiety. It sounds like you are under a lot of stress

katniss
10-07-20, 06:08
Thanks for your responses guys. I think I’m just hyper aware of my blind spots and my peripheral vision. It’s incredibly frustrating. Thank you for your well wishes on the program. The pessimist in me is thinking that I probably won’t get in. Due to covid the University I applied to is behind in their admissions process. I hope you get to finish your PhD soon Debbie.

I’m going to try and not focus on my vision for a while but it’s hard.