Should I let 12yr old daughter go shopping with friend??

[BrokenGirl]

I'm not sure where to post this so I hope this is the right place!!

I'm just looking for some advice really. My daughter is 12 and wants to meet up with her friend soon, who's 14. They want to meet in a shopping centre and walk around the shops for a few hours.
They haven't seen each other since before lockdown so are really missing each other.
My daughter has never done anything like this before. If she ever met up with a friend it would be at either our house or the friend's house, so she would be somewhere safe.
So this would be the first time she will be out on her own like this.
Of course, me being the constant worrier that I am, am scared of letting her do this. I'm terrified something will happen to her, she's only 12.
Am I being over protective here? Should I let her go to meet up with her friend?
I'd really appreciate what people's opinions are on this, as me and logical thinking don't get on very well these days.....

[Lolalee1]

Well if I had a 12yr old daughter I would not be letting her go,maybe they could meet at a place where there is some supervision
just my opinion xx

[nomorepanic]

Hi

This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your post was moved from its original place to a sub-forum that is more relevant to your issue.

This is nothing personal - it just enables us to keep posts about the same problems in the relevant forums so other members with any experience with the issues can find them more easily.

Please also read this post:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=213239

[Midnight-mouse]

I’m not a parent but I was starting to meet friends outside of supervision at that age. I think it has a lot to do with the individual child and their friends, are they young for their age or do they act with a good amount of maturity? Do they know to be safe and be responsible?


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[ankietyjoe]

I was out that age and I lived in London. I also got the bus to school through the notorious 'So Solid Crew' council estate when I was 11. Reality check, it wasn't really that bad.

However. That was in the 80s, and I think things are different today. My son is 11 now and we let him walk to and from school but it's only 5 minutes away. I'm not sure he's savvy enough to deal with anything like going to a shopping centre by himself, let alone under the current circumstances.

Mouse it right, I think you have to judge it on how mature they are, and the sensibility of the friend.

[Scass]

I know a couple of children of similar age who meet their friends in similar ways. It must be so hard for them to be stuck in so much at such an important age.
If you’re not comfortable with a shopping centre then can you suggest somewhere else? Do you trust them to social distance etc?


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[BrokenGirl]

Thanks everyone for your replies and opinions. I'm still very undecided whether I should let her go or not. She has a sensible head on her shoulders but is a very quiet and shy individual. She tries to reassure me that she will be fine, if anyone comes near her she'll start screaming and because it's a busy shopping centre loads of people will hear her, and she even said she will text me every half hour to say she's ok. Even though she said all of this, I'm still having my doubts. The voice in my head is saying that she's only 12 and she's not exactly streetwise.


And then of course there's the whole social distancing thing going on. It can be very difficult at times for adults to follow the rules, never mind someone her age!


As her mother I know I need to make the right decision here, the sensible one.
But then I see her every day and she's so bored, she doesn't know what to do anymore to pass the time. She misses her friends so much. She has said a few times she'd rather be back at school because she's so bored.


I guess I'll have to do some more thinking and weighing up everything before I make a decision. This is a tough one though :(

[WiredIncorrectly]

My son goes out with Mom but he wares a mask and has his own alcohol gel. He's 12. He sees one friend because my partner does housework for her friend who has medical problems; her daughter is my sons school friend. I wouldn't trust him to go out without me or mom. He goes out the front and plays with 3 of the kids on the street; but those kids are locked down and have masks etc.