View Full Version : The Scourge Of Highly Opinionated Moaners
This morning I have already posted in one of the Corona threads about this guy I have known for years who I spoke to on the phone earlier, and he was having a right rant at me about having to wear face masks inside indoor public places, as he is convinced it's totally pointless and a gross violation of civil liberties!!
We ended up having a bit of a verbal argument about it, like we have over various other issues over the years and I felt emotionally exhausted by the time we both hung up, as if it's just impossible for me to ever win. He also seems to imply that I am thick and naïve, and that I don't live in the real world.
Does anyone else on here have encounters with people who are incessantly opinionated and constantly negative about pretty much everything and anything?
Perils of being a regular on this place, mate ;)
Perils of being a regular on this place, mate ;)
Maybe, but that annoying person I mentioned in my opening post definitely isn't on here, thank God!!
Though in fairness, I guess we can all be moaners at times, even without always being fully aware of it, part and parcel of being human I suppose.
It's the ones that are forever at it that really get on my wick!!
Pamplemousse
10-08-20, 11:16
There's a lot of them about.
That same person I spoke to on the phone earlier this morning has also been known to boast about being on the receiving end of vicious beatings by his parents and school teachers as a child and it 'never doing him and his generation any harm'!
He was also insistent that the govt brought back school caning and routinely armed our police officers soon after the August 2011 riots, proclaiming that 'the bleeders needed to be taught a lesson', and also 'needed to learn the hard way'.
He said the very same things in response to the recent knife crime epidemic, and I told him that (IMO) violence begets violence, and we all should be attempting to address the underlying issues that lead to problems within contemporary society, rather than knee-jerk responses like corporal punishment, and ended up having yet another epic argy-bargy with him!!
Lencoboy, you are upset and you need to find your calm and let this episode go.
The world is going through a very negative time and any talk about masks, vaccines, the virus and lock down will be open for debate/opinions that will only lead to upset and anger.
We have to respect people's views even if we do not agree otherwise we lose something very important, 'Freedom of Speech'!
Lencoboy, you are upset and you need to find your calm and let this episode go.
The world is going through a very negative time and any talk about masks, vaccines, the virus and lock down will be open for debate/opinions that will only lead to upset and anger.
We have to respect people's views even if we do not agree otherwise we lose something very important, 'Freedom of Speech'!
I totally understand and acknowledge what you're saying, but I have been getting it in the neck from that opinionated person I know for donkeys years over several other issues totally unrelated to CV, and for the most part, I do respect other people's freedom of expression, but at the same time FOE ultimately carries responsibilities and of course has its limits, as you know.
Nevertheless, I will take your advice and try to chill out for a bit.
You know what they say, 'if a person causes you anxiety, then sever the relationship.' I had to do exactly that with a few of my long-standing relationships.
You may have had that result already from this particular person, so it's just a matter of time to shed the remnants of that heightened uncomfortable conversation.
I'm with Carnation on this. For a happier life, avoid contact with anybody who makes you want to punch a wall.
Is this person actually a friend? He doesn't sound like he holds you in very high regard. The phone call has obviously really upset you so maybe it's best to be unavailable when he next calls?
This morning I have already posted in one of the Corona threads about this guy I have known for years who I spoke to on the phone earlier, and he was having a right rant at me about having to wear face masks inside indoor public places, as he is convinced it's totally pointless and a gross violation of civil liberties!!
We ended up having a bit of a verbal argument about it, like we have over various other issues over the years and I felt emotionally exhausted by the time we both hung up, as if it's just impossible for me to ever win. He also seems to imply that I am thick and naïve, and that I don't live in the real world.
Does anyone else on here have encounters with people who are incessantly opinionated and constantly negative about pretty much everything and anything?
Is he Victor Meldrew?:D
Is this person actually a friend? He doesn't sound like he holds you in very high regard. The phone call has obviously really upset you so maybe it's best to be unavailable when he next calls?
I suppose he technically is, as we have actually done things together in the past that have mostly been positive (as part of another group of persons), but definitely never a 'best' friend and he has almost always been known to do my head in, even during the better times of 20-odd years ago as he has always been a bit of a smart alec!!
Seriously, do the right thing for yourself and walk away. You don't need people like that in your life.
Seriously, do the right thing for yourself and walk away. You don't need people like that in your life.
I might actually consider that, especially as he seems to get worse and worse every year!!
He is also a racist, sexist and very backward-thinking person.
ankietyjoe
10-08-20, 16:12
This country is breeding them like rats.
I think our current culture nurtures it.
This country is breeding them like rats.
I think our current culture nurtures it.
I agree with you in many ways.
And (dare I say it), that's probably one of the trade-offs of free expression, though as the polar opposite would be far, far worse, perhaps we should behave more responsibly and not misuse our rights to such thing.
Yes, Lenco. IRL, I have two uncles who have pretty much been brainwashed by Fox News, Rush Limbaugh and the Trump campaign. They are very angry people all the time now, when they used to be very easy going and open-minded.
MRS STRESS ED
10-08-20, 17:09
Hi Lencoboy hope you're well x
oh yes l have one of them but unfortunately for me its family, she has been there done got the t shirt, if you done it she's done better.
My problem l can't get rid of her you can choose your friend's 😁 and apparently l just need a kick up the arse to treat my anxiety 😤
best wishes xx
Hi Lencoboy hope you're well x
oh yes l have one of them but unfortunately for me its family, she has been there done got the t shirt, if you done it she's done better.
My problem l can't get rid of her you can choose your friend's 😁 and apparently l just need a kick up the arse to treat my anxiety 😤
best wishes xx
I'm perfectly fine right now, thank you.
Enjoying this glorious sunshine.
I'm with the general consensus here Lencoboy. This friend is always going to have differing views to yourself if its been going on for years. There comes a time when you have to ask yourself 'what am I getting from this friendship?' To me it sounds like nothing positive and plenty of negative. Do you really need his ranting? Often we think we should continue a friendship out of a sense of 'loyalty', more so if its been long term. Do what's best for you mate.
This is a result of people losing faith in the establishment media and looking towards alt sources for information. Since the gap between official and alternative narratives is pretty big so it's causing a lot of division among friends and even families. This division will only grow until society splits in two and people form communities based on their worldview. It also has to be said that controlled politicians, through the power of the MSM are manipulating people on a psychological level to turn them against each other.
Alternatively it could just be that some people are highly opinionated moaners who enjoy a good rant.
Pamplemousse
10-08-20, 21:01
I'm with the general consensus here Lencoboy. This friend is always going to have differing views to yourself if its been going on for years. There comes a time when you have to ask yourself 'what am I getting from this friendship?' To me it sounds like nothing positive and plenty of negative. Do you really need his ranting? Often we think we should continue a friendship out of a sense of 'loyalty', more so if its been long term. Do what's best for you mate.
I'm inclined to agree with FM65 too. I've just fallen out badly with someone online and have fallen out with 'real' friends - sometimes with catastrophic mental health results - in the past. When I was in hospital the other night I looked at the "speed dial" on my phone's web browser, looked at it again and thought that little, if anything, there would actually bring me joy. On the contrary, it was more likely to wind me up. So I've resolved to do something about it
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do sang Neil Sedaka - in this instance, it'll hurt for a while as you've known each other for so long but you'll get eventually used to it and right now, I think we all need to put ourselves in as best a place mentally as we can.
MyNameIsTerry
10-08-20, 23:01
This is a result of people losing faith in the establishment media and looking towards alt sources for information. Since the gap between official and alternative narratives is pretty big so it's causing a lot of division among friends and even families. This division will only grow until society splits in two and people form communities based on their worldview. It also has to be said that controlled politicians, through the power of the MSM are manipulating people on a psychological level to turn them against each other.
Alf Garnett existed long before the media existed beyond a few old newspapers in a time most of the working class, and peasantry before them, couldn't even read.
As you say, in the modern age, there is some of this but all human beings moan over some things and it's nothing to do with politics and any form of media. It's to do with human beings. I'm sure the cavemen were having a good moan about "fleas today, huh they aren't what they used to be".
Lencoboy, I'm with everyone about deciding whether this relationship brings something to your life beyond the negative. Some people are just born or nurtured to be a pain in the https://yoursmiles.org/tsmile/sex/t1505.gif.
I don't believe these people create the movement, more that their personalities allow them to be sucked in. Remember the film ID with Robert Carlyle? At the end he has moved from football hooligan to neo Nazi. It's why I say many of those types don't really care about the subject as long as it gets them a good fight. And you will find them on both right and left...
There are people on here who's political views clash with mine. But I think if you are both open to debate you learn from each other. The tribalists are closed to debate thus bringing us one of pulisa's hated buzzwords: the echo chamber. I can usually tune them out, don't rise to it and see other qualities in them I can respect them for. But there are some I can't, I just see negativity. These are found everywhere, they are emotional draining and often 'hard done by' or born with a chip on their shoulder. You won't change them so look towards your own health and decide whether they are too much for you.
Thanks for all your feedback on this subject.
This phenomenon definitely 'twas ever thus' in the grand scheme of things. The older generations have always been known for their nostalgic tendencies, and for believing that nearly everything was far better back in their day, even though that particular person concerned is only about 10 years older than me, so still hardly an OAP!!
Probably the main reasons for this trend of constant negativity becoming more intense over the past 20 years or so is the rapid technological advances in mass communication, especially smartphones, and not forgetting social media, where things (good and bad) can be communicated in a matter of seconds at the click of a switch/button, whereas pre-21st Century, not only did we have to rely on more traditional media for news, such as conventional printed newspapers, bulletins on TV and radio but only at set times, unlike today where we have 24/7 rolling news channels with detailed on-screen graphics. And also back then many of these so-called 'moaners' often used to argue out their grievances down the local pub or WMC, under the influence of booze, sometimes resulting in epic punch-ups just before kicking out time.
But sadly some people seem to go out of their way to be negative about things, and one of my biggest bugbears is when certain people post negative reviews of things like DVDs and music albums on Amazon, with extremely emotive wording like 'Worst album/film ever. Avoid like the plague' and 'Don't waste your hard-earned cash by investing in this crap'!!
Basically making sweeping generalisations about the products and wilfully encouraging others to dislike them and avoid them, as if only their opinions count, whereas others might actually otherwise enjoy them, but sadly feel put off by these intense negative reviews. As one person's trash is another person's treasure (and vice versa).
Pamplemousse
11-08-20, 10:46
Probably the main reasons for this trend of constant negativity becoming more intense over the past 20 years or so is the rapid technological advances in mass communication, especially smartphones, and not forgetting social media, where things (good and bad) can be communicated in a matter of seconds at the click of a switch/button, whereas pre-21st Century, not only did we have to rely on more traditional media for news, such as conventional printed newspapers, bulletins on TV and radio but only at set times, unlike today where we have 24/7 rolling news channels with detailed on-screen graphics. And also back then many of these so-called 'moaners' often used to argue out their grievances down the local pub or WMC, under the influence of booze, sometimes resulting in epic punch-ups just before kicking out time.
But sadly some people seem to go out of their way to be negative about things, and one of my biggest bugbears is when certain people post negative reviews of things like DVDs and music albums on Amazon, with extremely emotive wording like 'Worst album/film ever. Avoid like the plague' and 'Don't waste your hard-earned cash by investing in this crap'!!
Basically making sweeping generalisations about the products and wilfully encouraging others to dislike them and avoid them, as if only their opinions count, whereas others might actually otherwise enjoy them, but sadly feel put off by these intense negative reviews. As one person's trash is another person's treasure (and vice versa).
Amazon reviews, like YouTube comments, are best avoided. 24-hour news is a monster that needs feeding 24 hours a day and IMO is totally unnecessary.
I think you've discovered the root of the evil here: social media - and I'm aware of the irony of making that statement on a social media platform. I always felt that "Web 2.0" was going to be a disaster, as I remember how things could go wrong back on Usenet and bulletin boards back in the 90s (I've been wasting bandwidth for years!) when access was far more difficult than it is now. We really have got an "Eternal September".
The Internet could have been a great force for democracy, giving the unheard a voice at last; but at the same time, those that do not deserve a voice now have one too. Rare is it that groups manage to get themselves totally excluded via their hate, but the so-called 'incels' have managed it!
Amazon reviews, like YouTube comments, are best avoided. 24-hour news is a monster that needs feeding 24 hours a day and IMO is totally unnecessary.
I think you've discovered the root of the evil here: social media - and I'm aware of the irony of making that statement on a social media platform. I always felt that "Web 2.0" was going to be a disaster, as I remember how things could go wrong back on Usenet and bulletin boards back in the 90s (I've been wasting bandwidth for years!) when access was far more difficult than it is now. We really have got an "Eternal September".
The Internet could have been a great force for democracy, giving the unheard a voice at last; but at the same time, those that do not deserve a voice now have one too. Rare is it that groups manage to get themselves totally excluded via their hate, but the so-called 'incels' have managed it!
Absolutely. And sadly even New Labour were caught napping over the potential shortcomings of said mediums, as they were in power when many of these mediums first evolved, which has sadly manifested in the growth of misinformation, fake news, etc over the past 20 years that the Tory administrations over the past decade have still swept under the carpet and failed to address.
TripAdvisor is another one that can be a cesspool for intense negative reviews of places, often posted out of spite by potential rivals, and people who generally seem to have a bee in their bonnet about nearly everything.
YouTube comments can most certainly be the pits on occasions, and can present as a typical example of 'free speech gone too far', even though YouTube themselves have allegedly attempted to tone things down a bit more recently, not just in their discouraging the posting of abusive and hateful/threatening comments, but also cracking down on potentially harmful material from being uploaded.
So, you're spot on in the sense that many aspects of the Internet haven't quite managed to evolve into the 'brave new world' of democracy and free expression in quite the ways we had originally hoped for some 25 years ago, but having said that, if it wasn't for the Internet, this site wouldn't exist and we most certainly wouldn't be discussing things on this forum right now!!
Yes, but I stopped engaging. I just don't have the mental energy. I actually got rid of facebook 3 years ago for this reason and my life has been so much less stressful! And, it was my mother who was one of the worst offenders! She and another friend from my childhood would get into these insane arguments on my posts that I'd then get dragged into. But, most people are not going to change their minds. The only way to really change a mind is to find common ground with someone and work from there, but most people aren't willing to do that anymore so it's mostly worthless.
Yes, but I stopped engaging. I just don't have the mental energy. I actually got rid of facebook 3 years ago for this reason and my life has been so much less stressful! And, it was my mother who was one of the worst offenders! She and another friend from my childhood would get into these insane arguments on my posts that I'd then get dragged into. But, most people are not going to change their minds. The only way to really change a mind is to find common ground with someone and work from there, but most people aren't willing to do that anymore so it's mostly worthless.
Amen, Erin. I could've written that post myself.
Yes, but I stopped engaging. I just don't have the mental energy. I actually got rid of facebook 3 years ago for this reason and my life has been so much less stressful! And, it was my mother who was one of the worst offenders! She and another friend from my childhood would get into these insane arguments on my posts that I'd then get dragged into. But, most people are not going to change their minds. The only way to really change a mind is to find common ground with someone and work from there, but most people aren't willing to do that anymore so it's mostly worthless.
:notworthy:Ditto.
Yes, Lenco. IRL, I have two uncles who have pretty much been brainwashed by Fox News, Rush Limbaugh and the Trump campaign. They are very angry people all the time now, when they used to be very easy going and open-minded.
Same goes for a couple of other people I know who performed in a covers band my brother used to play drums with, in addition to the aforementioned serial 'moaner', but this was more over the Global Financial Crisis, which appeared to affect them psychologically, even though they were never in any real financial dire straits as a result of it.
They were previously rather laid back, easy going and had a good sense of humour, but by mid-2008 (and beyond) when the crisis was really starting to accelerate, they were becoming changed persons who were very opinionated, and having increasingly right-wing views, especially believing that the crash was all New Labour's fault and looking at other countries like Spain with rose-tinted specs, believing that not only was their quality of life far superior to ours, but their politics were fairer, less violent crime and yob culture, fuel was far cheaper and job opportunities were still plentiful, and the UK had finally descended into the laughing stock of the world.
But the reality was that most of mainland Europe ended up being no better off than us in the grand scheme of things, which is pretty much the same now with the current Corona thing, but many people nevertheless still have the compulsion to travel there in pursuit of their fabled 'superior quality of life'!!
And oddly, much of the division and angst in our society fuelled by the GFC back in 2008-09 now seems largely forgotten about, now it's all about CV and Brexit!!
The 'serial pessimist' rang me today for the first time in several weeks, bragging that he has just come back from holiday in Spain, and blatantly gloating about everything over there still far superior to nearly everything here, even saying that the Corona situation there is far better than ours, and is still adamant that the UK is the worst hit in Europe, with both daily cases and deaths.
I said to him about the figures in both Spain and France actually being way above ours (and higher than their initial spikes earlier in the year) but he thinks it's all being made up by our govt in order to play down our 'shameful' stats, and that it's our figures that are actually far worse now than back in March and April!!
How that bloke is in such denial about the figures in Spain and France, believing they are being hyped up and manipulated by our govt to deflect from our own situation, despite their stats actually being officially published by reputable global statisticians is totally beyond me.
Luckily, I managed to shake him off as I needed to use the toilet after about 10 minutes of his incessant ranting.
I never forget the Foot and Mouth crisis back in 2001 when he was adamant it was all Blair's deliberate conspiracy to put farmers out of business. A serial 'blame-gamer' as well!!
WiredIncorrectly
11-09-20, 23:31
I'm with Carnation on this. For a happier life, avoid contact with anybody who makes you want to punch a wall.
Which is practically everybody. I actually did punch a wall once and broke my hand. Healed a bit funny because anxiety made me refuse an operation and have it cast instead, although you can't notice unless I point it out. Boxers fracture I think they call it.
Client let me down on a payment I was waiting for. Was having a rough day not long being told I was in remission from Cancer. Dealing with the aftershock etc. An argument with a friend made me punch a wall. I heard it crack. At first my whole hand was numb. Like it was in shock. But as soon as I looked down and seen what I'd done it hurt. I called a taxi and went to hospital. I almost refused to let them stick me with local anesthetic, then when they did I had a panic attack.
"I recommend we operate", said the nurse.
"I recommend you are most definitely not. I'm not having an operation and there's no point in trying to talk me down. Impossible unless it's life and death" I replied.
She noted I was being serious. "But it may heal deformed", she said.
"If it does, can I have the operation after?".
She said yes. So I opted for that option. Looks pretty normal to me and works fine. The pain was bad, but twisting my ankle slipping off a curb hurt so much more.
WiredIncorrectly
11-09-20, 23:40
The 'serial pessimist' rang me today for the first time in several weeks, bragging that he has just come back from holiday in Spain, and blatantly gloating about everything over there still far superior to nearly everything here, even saying that the Corona situation there is far better than ours, and is still adamant that the UK is the worst hit in Europe, with both daily cases and deaths.
I said to him about the figures in both Spain and France actually being way above ours (and higher than their initial spikes earlier in the year) but he thinks it's all being made up by our govt in order to play down our 'shameful' stats, and that it's our figures that are actually far worse now than back in March and April!!
How that bloke is in such denial about the figures in Spain and France, believing they are being hyped up and manipulated by our govt to deflect from our own situation, despite their stats actually being officially published by reputable global statisticians is totally beyond me.
Luckily, I managed to shake him off as I needed to use the toilet after about 10 minutes of his incessant ranting.
I never forget the Foot and Mouth crisis back in 2001 when he was adamant it was all Blair's deliberate conspiracy to put farmers out of business. A serial 'blame-gamer' as well!!
I don't let those people bother me Lencoboy. They're not worth an ounce of the thought.
Give this a read. The subtle art of not giving a (swear word): https://markmanson.net/not-giving-a-****
It is a great read. Oh damn, this forum blocks it out. Replace the stars with the f word.
Edit: The author of that article is smart. He's already thought of the swear word being blocked and using the ****'s will still show you the article.
I don't let those people bother me Lencoboy. They're not worth an ounce of the thought.
Give this a read. The subtle art of not giving a (swear word): https://markmanson.net/not-giving-a-****
It is a great read. Oh damn, this forum blocks it out. Replace the stars with the f word.
Edit: The author of that article is smart. He's already thought of the swear word being blocked and using the ****'s will still show you the article.
I agree with you WIC, that geezer isn't worth an ounce of the thought.
Over the past 20 years he's had this blatant pro-Spain, anti-UK agenda, from the fuel protests of then through the current CV pandemic. He has always been very anti-govt as he has incessantly moaned about all the PMs we've had since Blair, believing each have been far worse than the previous, though he admitted to being very anti-Thatcher back in the day too!
Just a smart alec know-it-all with an extreme sense of confirmation bias!
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