I think I need to go back to work

[.Poppy.]

I have two jobs: I work as an administrative assistant (and am currently working from home) and I've been boosting my paychecks by delivering for EatStreet. I hadn't worked my delivery job since March, but I'm living paycheck to paycheck with my admin salary and I have debts to pay off. So I've signed back up to work.

I'm wearing my mask, using hand sanitizer religiously, and I made my own sanitizing spray (since you can't find Lysol anywhere). When I am done with each shift, I am spraying down myself and the inside of my car, and then as soon as I get in the door I take off my shoes and put my work clothes into a plastic bag in the closet. Pretty much every house is also doing "leave at the door" dropoffs, so I really don't have to physically come into contact with anyone.

But like all of us, I am so, so scared of getting sick. I'm feeling really dizzy today and of course I think I've exposed myself and made myself ill. I keep telling myself that so many people are still going into work and they are doing fine, and that with all of my precautions of course I'll be okay, but it's hard. Is anyone else dealing with this that can provide a voice of reason?

[Redsmum]

I have two jobs: I work as an administrative assistant (and am currently working from home) and I've been boosting my paychecks by delivering for EatStreet. I hadn't worked my delivery job since March, but I'm living paycheck to paycheck with my admin salary and I have debts to pay off. So I've signed back up to work.

I'm wearing my mask, using hand sanitizer religiously, and I made my own sanitizing spray (since you can't find Lysol anywhere). When I am done with each shift, I am spraying down myself and the inside of my car, and then as soon as I get in the door I take off my shoes and put my work clothes into a plastic bag in the closet. Pretty much every house is also doing "leave at the door" dropoffs, so I really don't have to physically come into contact with anyone.

But like all of us, I am so, so scared of getting sick. I'm feeling really dizzy today and of course I think I've exposed myself and made myself ill. I keep telling myself that so many people are still going into work and they are doing fine, and that with all of my precautions of course I'll be okay, but it's hard. Is anyone else dealing with this that can provide a voice of reason?

Hi Poppy me & my husband have worked most of the way through (few weeks of when it first started) we’re self employed so no work = no money. We have right from the start employed all the precautions you have mentioned and have come to no harm, obviously it gets hard having to do it continuously day in day out but to be honest its become second nature now & we will continue until we’re told not to. I’m certain you are just fine & your dizziness is just your body stressing out over what is in reality quite a stressful situation but the more we take charge of it the more we are in control. Hope you continue to do your delivery job. Take care.

[.Poppy.]

Thank you! I wish I could just hide at home but I do need to pay off some big bills and am eager to get that done ASAP. I hope you and your husband stay well!

[Pamplemousse]

I too need to try and get back into the world of work. The trouble is, I'm in the freelance world and thus self-employed. If I am replaced by more willing people and those not considered "vulnerable" - which in some cases would fall foul of both age and disability discrimination legislation here in the UK - I am well and truly stuffed. No work does indeed mean no money, Sunak's free money didn't apply to so many of us who gave David Cameron something to gloat about over the dispatch box years ago (one of many reasons I hate Tories, but that's irrelevant here).

I can't afford to take my pension (yet), I don't want to claim benefits if possible and I don't want to raid my savings any more than I have done. I have a huge credit card bill to deal with and considerable monthly outgoings.

I have a major problem here. The last time I tried to get back into work, I had a panic attack so bad I ended up dialling 999 and was hospitalised and thus I cancelled that day: but at the same time I know my mental health really has taken a turn for the worse - six months of near-total isolation apart from the odd e-mail/phone call/text message has genuinely taken a toll. My anxiety has been given full rein to run riot, my depression has got significantly worse.

[.Poppy.]

I too need to try and get back into the world of work. The trouble is, I'm in the freelance world and thus self-employed. If I am replaced by more willing people and those not considered "vulnerable" - which in some cases would fall foul of both age and disability discrimination legislation here in the UK - I am well and truly stuffed. No work does indeed mean no money, Sunak's free money didn't apply to so many of us who gave David Cameron something to gloat about over the dispatch box years ago (one of many reasons I hate Tories, but that's irrelevant here).

I can't afford to take my pension (yet), I don't want to claim benefits if possible and I don't want to raid my savings any more than I have done. I have a huge credit card bill to deal with and considerable monthly outgoings.

I have a major problem here. The last time I tried to get back into work, I had a panic attack so bad I ended up dialling 999 and was hospitalised and thus I cancelled that day: but at the same time I know my mental health really has taken a turn for the worse - six months of near-total isolation apart from the odd e-mail/phone call/text message has genuinely taken a toll. My anxiety has been given full rein to run riot, my depression has got significantly worse.

I'm sorry you've been struggling :( I am not anywhere near taking a pension, and I have had some extra expenses recently (elective vacation, dog needed expensive knee surgery) so I'm hoping to offset those costs a little bit. I don't like it. But it's nice at least that I'm working my day job from home, so I only have to go out for deliveries, instead of being away from home all day + extra hours in the evening.

COVID is scary and there's just so much that is unknown. That's the worst part for me.

[Scass]

I have been working from home for 6 months, but I am going back to the office next week. They have taken lots of precautions and implemented good safety measures. Fortunately I can walk or drive to my office, so I don’t have to rely on public transport.
It’s going to be tough but I am finding it hard at home on my own.


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[spectrum123]

I have been working from home for 6 months, but I am going back to the office next week. They have taken lots of precautions and implemented good safety measures. Fortunately I can walk or drive to my office, so I don’t have to rely on public transport.
It’s going to be tough but I am finding it hard at home on my own.

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I'm in the same situation as you, working from home for 5 months, back two days a week, then 3 days alternating from next week. I've been loving working from home on my own and don't really want to back for any more than one day a week really!
I really didn't think I would like it being on my own, that I wouldn't find the motivation to get up and work for 8 hours cooped up in the house until 5pm. My Managing Director thought the same and warned the couple of staff that stayed at the office full time to make provision for me to return, as he doubted I'd last more than a couple of weeks.
I've found it liberating, less stressful and I get much more done.

[dorabella]

I would much rather be back in my office - even if only for a day a week - just to feel some semblance of normality and routine again. Been working at home (or I should say a corner of my lounge) for 6 months now and have had enough of Zoom meetings, email barrages and a feeling of being on edge. Haven't had a bad spell of depression for a couple of years until all this nonsense happened... being cooped up with external activity being restricted makes me feel as if I am in an ever decreasing circle and never-ending groundhog day. Black dog has been barking for the last 3 weeks.The university campus where my society's rooms are housed has been shut off for months now - possibility of being able to go back towards the end of the month. And all my beautiful African violets on the filing cabinets will be now perished for lack of water...... took me years to grow them.

[pulisa]

I have never had any luck with African Violets, dorabella..I'm so sorry that circumstances have made your life so grim and I hope you are soon able to be nurture some new plants and can get your working life back to normal. The African violets' fate must reflect how you feel about the whole covid situation..

I hope that your bout of depression will start to lift once you have escaped your four walls and got back to as near normal a working day as possible. I'm not going to mention "new" normal because it'll be a question of adjustments and everyone will adapt quickly and just be glad to be back.

[pulisa]

I have been working from home for 6 months, but I am going back to the office next week. They have taken lots of precautions and implemented good safety measures. Fortunately I can walk or drive to my office, so I don’t have to rely on public transport.
It’s going to be tough but I am finding it hard at home on my own.


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How was work, Scass and how are you feeling about going in? I hope you felt as comfortable as possible.

[dorabella]

I have never had any luck with African Violets, dorabella..I'm so sorry that circumstances have made your life so grim and I hope you are soon able to be nurture some new plants and can get your working life back to normal. The African violets' fate must reflect how you feel about the whole covid situation..I hope that your bout of depression will start to lift once you have escaped your four walls and got back to as near normal a working day as possible. I'm not going to mention "new" normal because it'll be a question of adjustments and everyone will adapt quickly and just be glad to be back.As you say Pulisa - just circumstances getting on top of me. I more angry really that the last 6 months of nonsense have reduced me to my current state when I have managed for years now with whatever crosses my path and without the need for anti-depressants. Depression is currently a one day up one day down affair as you have probably experienced ... just would prefer to get back to some up days. But my poor plants alas..... thanks for the encouraging words though.

[Pamplemousse]

And all my beautiful African violets on the filing cabinets will be now perished for lack of water...... took me years to grow them.

That's such a shame. My father was a short-ish and stocky bloke, as strong as an ox. But goodness me, they were his favourite pot plant and he had loads in our conservatory at home. He loved them :) Outdoors, it was fuchsias.