View Full Version : Scleroderma or just anxiety
worriedme1978
07-10-20, 06:58
Hi all,
First thread here. 41 year old male with HA since at least 8-9 years. It's been quite under control recently, until yesterday.
I've had cold feet and fingers for as long as I can remember, but it wasn't until 3-4 years ago when a coworker asked if I had any heart issues due to my blueish nails that I understood that I had Raynaud's. Really went down the rabbit hole on this last night and read about scleroderma. Don't have any tough skin, except for a small spot on one of my right knuckles, but I have something that looks like spider veins on one of my nail folds. Also have had a nervous stomach/IBS thing since a few years back, that I read can come with scleroderma. Don't think I've hade any finger ulcers, but then again I have loads of scars on my fingers, always unintentionally cutting myself, or burning myself on the oven.
Can't sleep, thinking that I have 10-15 years left to live due to systematic illness. Wife is upset with me spiraling once again. Is this truly scleroderma, or just me fueling my anxiety? Trying to book an appointment at my GP as soon as possible, but so scared right now.
I've had cold feet and fingers for as long as I can remember,
Me too cocker. I used have a nightshirt which read, 'Cold hands, warm heart' and it was literal as far as I was concerned...
MIL used to say, 'Ooh, cold hands? You should be good at making pastry cocker!' (I wasn't)
Hubs has an issue when I stick my size 4 ice cubes onto his warm ones at night.:whistles: (cannot use his exact terminology - it will be censored)
Really went down the rabbit hole on this last night and read about scleroderma.
Did you happen to read about this, or did you actively search for it, and if so, why?
Don't have any tough skin, except for a small spot on one of my right knuckles, but I have something that looks like spider veins on one of my nail folds. Also have had a nervous stomach/IBS thing since a few years back, that I read can come with scleroderma. Don't think I've hade any finger ulcers, but then again I have loads of scars on my fingers, always unintentionally cutting myself, or burning myself on the oven.
Nervous stomach is also a cert with anxious people.
People rarely intend to cut or burn themselves, unless they have a mental disorder...
Bottom line, if your GP has to get a magnifying glass out to see what you're on about because it's basically so small, then you're probably ok.
Can't sleep, thinking that I have 10-15 years left to live due to systematic illness.
You don't have a diagnosis, therefore these are just thoughts...
That said, you can do a lot in 15 years. Clouds and linings and all that, eh?
Is this truly scleroderma, or just me fuelling my anxiety?
We're not doctors, but I'd say probably not. However, you are definitely fuelling your anxiety!
so scared right now.
Give HA my regards...
You got out of the rabbit hole before. You can do it again. You know what you have to do..
It sounds like primary Raynaud's which is a pain but nothing else....Concentrate on primary Raynaud's as opposed to the far far rarer scleroderma.
worriedme1978
07-10-20, 09:09
Me too cocker. I used have a nightshirt which read, 'Cold hands, warm heart' and it was literal as far as I was concerned...
MIL used to say, 'Ooh, cold hands? You should be good at making pastry cocker!' (I wasn't)
Hubs has an issue when I stick my size 4 ice cubes onto his warm ones at night.:whistles: (cannot use his exact terminology - it will be censored)
Did you happen to read about this, or did you actively search for it, and if so, why?
Nervous stomach is also a cert with anxious people.
People rarely intend to cut or burn themselves, unless they have a mental disorder...
Bottom line, if your GP has to get a magnifying glass out to see what you're on about because it's basically so small, then you're probably ok.
You don't have a diagnosis, therefore these are just thoughts...
That said, you can do a lot in 15 years. Clouds and linings and all that, eh?
We're not doctors, but I'd say probably not. However, you are definitely fuelling your anxiety!
Give HA my regards...
You got out of the rabbit hole before. You can do it again. You know what you have to do..
Old HA is alive and well (unfortunately). :mad:
I actively happened to google, right? It was because of a single scar-like thing on my finger, that I didn't remember getting. Didn't think that the answer would be so scary.
Thank you for letting me vent anyway. I tried booking a doctors appointment at two places, but that's apparently MONTHS away because of longer waiting times. And that's just seeing a GP that will probably direct me elsewhere. Don't know if I should just try to forget about this, if I can let it go.
worriedme1978
07-10-20, 09:13
It sounds like primary Raynaud's which is a pain but nothing else....Concentrate on primary Raynaud's as opposed to the far far rarer scleroderma.
Yeah, only thing that's keeping me focused on this besides Raynaud's is the strange blueish spider-veiny thing at my nail fold. That I 3 years ago thought was a sign of a super rare cancer of the nail bed. :weep:
I actively happened to google, right? It was because of a single scar-like thing on my finger, that I didn't remember getting. Didn't think that the answer would be so scary.
You know those words are conflicting, right? (deliberate?)
Scar-like thing on your finger could be as simple as a paper cut you've forgotten about...
You KNOW what happens when you Google symptoms, so I am giving you a virtual kick up the bum!
Happy times rarely come from Googling symptoms UNLESS the words, 'and anxiety' are also typed...
Don't know if I should just try to forget about this, if I can let it go.
Reframe it. See the thoughts for what they are. Don't add fear to the mix, and above all, do NOT Google!
WiseMonkey
07-10-20, 11:19
Raynaud's can be an autoimmune condition or it can appear in people with no other issues. I used to have cold hands and now they're very warm.
The spidery thing sounds like telangiectasias, which is also very common, you can get them anywhere on our body.
worriedme1978
07-10-20, 12:03
Yeah, since I can't get a doctors appointment anyway, I think I will try to just "be the observer" of all my feelings around this and try to stop the googling madness.
I know my mother has primary Raynaud's as well, and I don't have swollen hands, no thickening of the skin and so forth.
Thank you for the support, had an awful night but things are feeling a bit better at least.
worriedme1978
13-10-20, 19:40
Crap. Thought I was done with this. Until earlier today when I found this really small dot (around 1mm size) on my the base of my thumb that I think was calcinosis, calcium deposits under the skin. It wasn't white, just skin colored, but a bit hard.
And unfortunately I poked it with a needle and now there's nothing to see, so I'm looking everywhere if I have anymore like it. :( Bad, bad day.
So you're still searching for something to worry about re scleroderma? A really small dot..? How do you know about calcinosis?
worriedme1978
13-10-20, 20:06
So you're still searching for something to worry about re scleroderma? A really small dot..? How do you know about calcinosis?
Earlier googling, it's hard to unlearn what you've already read.
Precisely. Which is a good reason not to do your own "research" when you are not a qualified medic but instead have a first class honours degree in HA! It's a prescription for a bad bad day.
Crap. Thought I was done with this. Until earlier today when I found this really small dot (around 1mm size) on my the base of my thumb that I think was calcinosis, calcium deposits under the skin. It wasn't white, just skin colored, but a bit hard.
And unfortunately I poked it with a needle and now there's nothing to see, so I'm looking everywhere if I have anymore like it. :( Bad, bad day.
What do you do for a living?
Bad bad boy more like for poking yourself with needles!
worriedme1978
14-10-20, 10:08
What do you do for a living?
Bad bad boy more like for poking yourself with needles!
Programming, working from home since March. So I guess a bit too much time alone, thinking and worrying right now. And of course I know that typing, bad ergonomics, sitting on my behind all day doesn't really help with the cold hands and feet.
And of course I know that typing, bad ergonomics, sitting on my behind all day doesn't really help with the cold hands and feet.
It really doesn't. Best to move about as much as possible....
worriedme1978
14-10-20, 15:40
Booking an appointment for this instead of googling. Talked to a nurse that didn't seem overly concerned as I don't have that many symptoms, but recommended me to at least get a proper checkup on the Raynaud's syndrome.
Trying to shift my focus from this for now.
Booking an appointment for this instead of googling. Talked to a nurse that didn't seem overly concerned as I don't have that many symptoms, but recommended me to at least get a proper checkup on the Raynaud's syndrome.
Trying to shift my focus from this for now.
Always better to be proactive than sit scaring yourself on the internet, but you also need to address your HA - which is in control again.
worriedme1978
15-10-20, 14:46
Always better to be proactive than sit scaring yourself on the internet, but you also need to address your HA - which is in control again.
Yes, 100% agreed. Anxiety is the only guaranteed real thing right now.
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