Is anyone else's HA NOT around death / terminal illnesses but long lasting ones?

[lilysmith123]

One thing I've discovered through therapy is that my anxiety doesn't fit the traditional 'ahhh I'm going to die of this horrible terminal illness!!' but more, oh god I've got this disease/illness that is deibilitating, not terminal, and I'll live for a long time and have an abysmal quality of life.

My worst fears are being house bound with an illness, no friends, no partner, can't work, life in misery for years! So I fear illnesses that could leave me like this. I feared my frequent urination incase i had interstitial cystitis since i've read so many horrible stories. Or if there's something worrying me about my eyes, I fear I'll go blind and be blind for the rest of my life.

Because when I had previously seen my GP, and I wasn't scared of cancer etc etc, but more 'benign but long lasting and horrid' illnesses, they were reluctant to diagnose me with HA. Working with my therapist, she's told me this is really common too, but I haven't spoken to anyone else who worries this specific way.

Does anyone else worry more about living a long time with no quality of life / suffering than a quick death illness?

[NotDeadYet]

lilysmith123

This was/is my exact fear. I don't fear dying. I fear some terminal illness halting my life, goals, dreams, experiences etc. The ironic thing that I discovered about this fear is that I was living out that fear through my worry. My constant Googling, checking, and reassurance seeking was in reality haling my life, goals, dreams and experiences. I really began challenging my thoughts and behaviors after that realization. I also did a lot of therapy which helped me realize why I was fearing that and how to overcome it.

I'm glad to know there is another like me.

Best Wishes

[lilysmith123]

lilysmith123

This was/is my exact fear. I don't fear dying. I fear some terminal illness halting my life, goals, dreams, experiences etc. The ironic thing that I discovered about this fear is that I was living out that fear through my worry. My constant Googling, checking, and reassurance seeking was in reality haling my life, goals, dreams and experiences. I really began challenging my thoughts and behaviors after that realization. I also did a lot of therapy which helped me realize why I was fearing that and how to overcome it.

I'm glad to know there is another like me.

Best Wishes

Aww NotDeadYet I'm sorry you feel that way but glad to know I'm not alone with this feeling. Me too, thinking of never travelling again, losing my partner, never managing to have a family etc. You're right. I actually expressed this to my therapist and she said so outright - but your health anxiety is doing what you fear all these illnesses will. And it clicked to me then!! I would have gotten help a lot sooner had my GP recognised this wasn't regular health worries, but severe HA - we don't have to fear death to have it unfortunately.

I hope you're doing much better now.

[Heather1234]

Yes! Me! I grew up.with a grandmother who had lupus. I saw how meds can wreak havoc on the body, leading to more meds and so on.