lilysmith123
10-10-20, 11:49
Hi guys,
I hate that I'm even posting here as I'm trying not to "reassurance seek" but I figured, one post to talk with the only people who truly understand!
In July, one night I couldn't sleep, I ended up feeling like I was never finished peeing. I went to the doctor the next morning and had a sample done. They saw blood and white blood cells in my urine, gave me a 3 day course of antibiotics and sent me on my way. Straight away, as we do with anxiety, I couldn't stop worrying. I thought about the sensation 24/7. I noticed if I was busy, I didn't feel it. However, I got a call from the doctor saying my culture showed no infection. The symptoms got like 100000% stronger. I thought about it all the time, I felt like my life was over, I was constantly gonna have this feeling. I ended up having a lot of pain (which I know now is IBS!) and my GP sent me out to the hospital.
The whole time I was in hospital, I had no symptoms. I think because I was surrounded with people it eased my anxiety. I didn't even want to come home from the hospital because I felt safe there. Anyway, I came home, and the symptoms haven't really been back as bad as they were. However, all day long I think about it. On occasions where I manage to forget, there are no symptoms. I was able to work through this with my therapist and realise if it was my biggest fear Interstitial cystitis, that the feelings wouldn't just go away when I was busy. I sleep fine through the night too.
Yesterday was a particularly bad day for worrying. I spent a lot of the day googling symptoms, reading stories, trying to find something that disproves I have IC. I did the toilet at 7:30pm, then didn't really need it again until 1:30 when I was going to bed as I was up late watching a movie. I will admit, I hadn't drank much as I had one of those days. Not much pee came out, and I got back into bed.
I had this horrible sensation like there was a drop of urine stuck and desperate to come out - sometimes I get it on the toilet. I started to freak out as that feeling reminds me of how badly I was doing in July. I managed to ease it by putting pressure between my legs and it eased straight away. I'm now worried that this kind of spasmy weird feeling around what I imagine was my urethra ISN'T anxiety, and that it means there is something wrong.
I'm awaiting an appointment with the urologist, which my GP says will be helpful to prove there is nothing sinister going on. I woke up fine and the feeling was gone, but I'm scared to use the bathroom now because it will come back and my anxiety will spiral again..
Has anyone suffered from this sensation before? I'd feel so much better knowing I wasn't alone and that this wasn't a totally scary symptom - I am trying so hard not to google it because I know I will end up diagnosing myself with cancer or something lol.
I hate that I'm even posting here as I'm trying not to "reassurance seek" but I figured, one post to talk with the only people who truly understand!
In July, one night I couldn't sleep, I ended up feeling like I was never finished peeing. I went to the doctor the next morning and had a sample done. They saw blood and white blood cells in my urine, gave me a 3 day course of antibiotics and sent me on my way. Straight away, as we do with anxiety, I couldn't stop worrying. I thought about the sensation 24/7. I noticed if I was busy, I didn't feel it. However, I got a call from the doctor saying my culture showed no infection. The symptoms got like 100000% stronger. I thought about it all the time, I felt like my life was over, I was constantly gonna have this feeling. I ended up having a lot of pain (which I know now is IBS!) and my GP sent me out to the hospital.
The whole time I was in hospital, I had no symptoms. I think because I was surrounded with people it eased my anxiety. I didn't even want to come home from the hospital because I felt safe there. Anyway, I came home, and the symptoms haven't really been back as bad as they were. However, all day long I think about it. On occasions where I manage to forget, there are no symptoms. I was able to work through this with my therapist and realise if it was my biggest fear Interstitial cystitis, that the feelings wouldn't just go away when I was busy. I sleep fine through the night too.
Yesterday was a particularly bad day for worrying. I spent a lot of the day googling symptoms, reading stories, trying to find something that disproves I have IC. I did the toilet at 7:30pm, then didn't really need it again until 1:30 when I was going to bed as I was up late watching a movie. I will admit, I hadn't drank much as I had one of those days. Not much pee came out, and I got back into bed.
I had this horrible sensation like there was a drop of urine stuck and desperate to come out - sometimes I get it on the toilet. I started to freak out as that feeling reminds me of how badly I was doing in July. I managed to ease it by putting pressure between my legs and it eased straight away. I'm now worried that this kind of spasmy weird feeling around what I imagine was my urethra ISN'T anxiety, and that it means there is something wrong.
I'm awaiting an appointment with the urologist, which my GP says will be helpful to prove there is nothing sinister going on. I woke up fine and the feeling was gone, but I'm scared to use the bathroom now because it will come back and my anxiety will spiral again..
Has anyone suffered from this sensation before? I'd feel so much better knowing I wasn't alone and that this wasn't a totally scary symptom - I am trying so hard not to google it because I know I will end up diagnosing myself with cancer or something lol.