I cannot shake this health fear. Can anyone relate to my worries?

[lilysmith123]

Hi guys,

I hate that I'm even posting here as I'm trying not to "reassurance seek" but I figured, one post to talk with the only people who truly understand!

In July, one night I couldn't sleep, I ended up feeling like I was never finished peeing. I went to the doctor the next morning and had a sample done. They saw blood and white blood cells in my urine, gave me a 3 day course of antibiotics and sent me on my way. Straight away, as we do with anxiety, I couldn't stop worrying. I thought about the sensation 24/7. I noticed if I was busy, I didn't feel it. However, I got a call from the doctor saying my culture showed no infection. The symptoms got like 100000% stronger. I thought about it all the time, I felt like my life was over, I was constantly gonna have this feeling. I ended up having a lot of pain (which I know now is IBS!) and my GP sent me out to the hospital.

The whole time I was in hospital, I had no symptoms. I think because I was surrounded with people it eased my anxiety. I didn't even want to come home from the hospital because I felt safe there. Anyway, I came home, and the symptoms haven't really been back as bad as they were. However, all day long I think about it. On occasions where I manage to forget, there are no symptoms. I was able to work through this with my therapist and realise if it was my biggest fear Interstitial cystitis, that the feelings wouldn't just go away when I was busy. I sleep fine through the night too.

Yesterday was a particularly bad day for worrying. I spent a lot of the day googling symptoms, reading stories, trying to find something that disproves I have IC. I did the toilet at 7:30pm, then didn't really need it again until 1:30 when I was going to bed as I was up late watching a movie. I will admit, I hadn't drank much as I had one of those days. Not much pee came out, and I got back into bed.

I had this horrible sensation like there was a drop of urine stuck and desperate to come out - sometimes I get it on the toilet. I started to freak out as that feeling reminds me of how badly I was doing in July. I managed to ease it by putting pressure between my legs and it eased straight away. I'm now worried that this kind of spasmy weird feeling around what I imagine was my urethra ISN'T anxiety, and that it means there is something wrong.

I'm awaiting an appointment with the urologist, which my GP says will be helpful to prove there is nothing sinister going on. I woke up fine and the feeling was gone, but I'm scared to use the bathroom now because it will come back and my anxiety will spiral again..

Has anyone suffered from this sensation before? I'd feel so much better knowing I wasn't alone and that this wasn't a totally scary symptom - I am trying so hard not to google it because I know I will end up diagnosing myself with cancer or something lol.

[Wanderlust]

Evening lily, hope you are coping ok.
long time health anx sufferer, not had similar symptoms, at lest not that I can remember, so I apologise that I cannot reassure you but it does sound like the doctors are taking things reasonably seriously which is good to see, at least you will have results and you haven’t been fobbed off.
you are checking all the right boxes, being aware about self diagnosing and researching, and sounding pretty optimistic despite the obvious anxiety :) credit to you. I will say I was drawn to the bit about the distractions noticeably reducing your symptoms, isn’t it cruel how anxiety plays with both our minds and bodies, going through much the same myself right now but for different symptoms. And one diazepam and some social time later and I’m not nearly half as worried and some of the symptoms have eased.The demons will return I’m sure but for now I bask in the calm.

anyway, again I’m sorry that I can’t be that voice of reason and reassurance but I do think that perhaps holding off from going to the bathroom may only create it’s own issues, be strong and I’m hoping for the best for you.

[lilysmith123]

Evening lily, hope you are coping ok.
long time health anx sufferer, not had similar symptoms, at lest not that I can remember, so I apologise that I cannot reassure you but it does sound like the doctors are taking things reasonably seriously which is good to see, at least you will have results and you haven’t been fobbed off.
you are checking all the right boxes, being aware about self diagnosing and researching, and sounding pretty optimistic despite the obvious anxiety :) credit to you. I will say I was drawn to the bit about the distractions noticeably reducing your symptoms, isn’t it cruel how anxiety plays with both our minds and bodies, going through much the same myself right now but for different symptoms. And one diazepam and some social time later and I’m not nearly half as worried and some of the symptoms have eased.The demons will return I’m sure but for now I bask in the calm.

anyway, again I’m sorry that I can’t be that voice of reason and reassurance but I do think that perhaps holding off from going to the bathroom may only create it’s own issues, be strong and I’m hoping for the best for you.

Thanks Wanderlust. I know we all get different symptoms, which sucks! If we all had the same symptoms we could reassure each other lol, but I do know that anxiety can cause soooo many symptoms, it is just hard to believe it can cause such physical sensations!!

I agree, it is a blessing when we can distract ourselves, and realise well hey? the symptoms eased so it can't be this illness! But then Anxiety creeps back in once more.. :unsure:
I honestly could be doing with a diazepam just to relax me on those bad days haha. I have had a good day since, but I just cycle through the same bloody fears, hyper vigilance over my bladder, scared of IC, scared I end up getting a UTI which causes the horrid symptoms etc etc. It's so hard.

How are you doing? I hope you are doing well!

[NoraB]

Has anyone suffered from this sensation before? I'd feel so much better knowing I wasn't alone and that this wasn't a totally scary symptom - I am trying so hard not to google it because I know I will end up diagnosing myself with cancer or something lol.

This isn't so much a scary symptom as a logical one. Think about the fight or flight response - because that's what this is. Your body needs to purge everything that will hinder a swift getaway or you staying and beating the crap out of someone. It has to be as light as possible, so pooing, weeing, and even vomiting is just your body trying to protect you.

Unless you're specifically googling anxiety symptoms, nothing good will ever come from googling because anything remotely reassuring will be blasted into oblivion by all those 'horror stories'.

Best thing you can do is work on your stress levels and stop taking in liquid after 6pm.

[Wanderlust]

Thank you so much for asking Lily, I appreciate the thought.
Yep, that ongoing cyclical thinking right ergh, its murderous. Have been neck deep in it myself for much of the last month.
Unfortunately because I have some pronounced physical symptoms which I cannot put down to anxiety and have been ongoing for some time, I am aware that I do actually have something wrong with me and that makes it all the worse, diagnoses happening slowly but doctors are slow at the best of times and the pandemic has made their lives even harder, hopefully it doesn't turn out to be the thing I believe it to be, but, if It is, I will just have to accept it. (Not mentioning symptoms so as not to possibly trigger anyone reading this).

Hope you are feeling better today, do you know when you will have more news on this or results?

[lilysmith123]

This isn't so much a scary symptom as a logical one. Think about the fight or flight response - because that's what this is. Your body needs to purge everything that will hinder a swift getaway or you staying and beating the crap out of someone. It has to be as light as possible, so pooing, weeing, and even vomiting is just your body trying to protect you.

Unless you're specifically googling anxiety symptoms, nothing good will ever come from googling because anything remotely reassuring will be blasted into oblivion by all those 'horror stories'.

Best thing you can do is work on your stress levels and stop taking in liquid after 6pm.

Thank you! Googling is dumped once again!! I always suffer for it!

[lilysmith123]

Thank you so much for asking Lily, I appreciate the thought.
Yep, that ongoing cyclical thinking right ergh, its murderous. Have been neck deep in it myself for much of the last month.
Unfortunately because I have some pronounced physical symptoms which I cannot put down to anxiety and have been ongoing for some time, I am aware that I do actually have something wrong with me and that makes it all the worse, diagnoses happening slowly but doctors are slow at the best of times and the pandemic has made their lives even harder, hopefully it doesn't turn out to be the thing I believe it to be, but, if It is, I will just have to accept it. (Not mentioning symptoms so as not to possibly trigger anyone reading this).

Hope you are feeling better today, do you know when you will have more news on this or results?

Aww I do hope it isn't anything serious. It's especially hard right now with the pandemic. My neighbour has been waiting on a surgery for over a year now which was postponed in March because of it, and he's effectively stuck at home. It sucks. I understand the pandemic takes precedence but other health issues are still around! I'm still awaiting an initial appointment letter, but I have been doing much better. Spoke again with my therapist, and began reading some self help sheets and dumped google! Had other little worries crop up as they do when you tell your brain you're over one thing, but I'm just trying to 'float' through it as Claire Weekes would say!!

When do you think you'll hear back? If you need a friend you can always PM me, I'm on here most days reading the forum and I know how rubbish it can be.

[Wanderlust]

I think the NHS was rather thrown for a loop with it all, credit to them for doing what they did, but yes, some of my family have had medical appointments postponed also and it looks like we have another big wave hitting. My thoughts with your neighbour and their health. Good on you for stepping away from the self diagnosis, even to this day i still fall into that trap when panicked, you wonder why I've never learned! :) What sort of therapy is it ?
As for me, I should have some idea by Monday, I just dont expect to reach Monday, but thats the way my brain works when its swimming in Anx, what will be will be, greatly appreciate the kind thought about the messages, the same to you off course, should you want to talk.

[Anxietysufferer92]

My sister has the same thing as you and they concluded that she's got an overactive bladder. She's had it for years and years. Underwent all sorts of tests to get it diagnosed. X