View Full Version : Long term health anxiety
flatterycat
16-10-20, 13:06
Hello
I have posted on here off and on for many years.
I am now 51 and still really struggling to cope with my HA. I worry that having had it for nearly 45 years that there really is no chance of me ever being able to manage it. I know that I will always have anxiety and that it is something every human has to some degree but I live in constant fear and even when I have no particular health worry at a given time, I still feel anxious. It's exhausting and ruining my life. I'm booked in to see a cbt therapist yet again (I have had more cbt than I can think of) in the hope that I may be able to take control - this is someone I have found through lots of research who specialises in HA and OCD. My CBT therapists have always been lovely and helpful and they have all gone through the same pattern of thought tracking, identifying thinking errors etc etc and yet, I'm stuck. Maybe it's me and I am just not putting the effort into getting better?
I also take sertraline and more recently my GP added pregabalin. I don't think the sertraline does anything having been on it for 10 years, but I did think that the pregabalin was helping for a while. I hate that I am taking medication, that it doesn't seem to help and yet here I am on two lots. I read about people with health anxiety and they have often suffered for a short time or a few years and not taken any meds. I envy those people so much.
Since turning 50 things have gotten worse and I literally bounce from one illness to another. I have this worry that now I am this age it's much more likely that the illness I fear will be much more likely to appear now that I have hit this age. I am definitely peri-menopausal, but not sure that comes into how I am feeling or, if it does, there's much I can do about it. I have a great job with much responsibility and have been dealing with all the current issues relating to covid really well, which has been tricky for schools.`
I don't really know why I am writing this, I suppose I need to get things out of my system and maybe hear that I am not the only one to be like this for so bloody long.
S x
I had HA until three years ago and I'm 50, so there is hope.
You might well be putting the effort in but if you're not doing the right things, it doesn't make any odds.
How did your HA start?
flatterycat
16-10-20, 14:51
I’m sorry to hear that you endured it for so long too, but love that you have managed to stop it 3 years ago. What did you do if you don’t mind me asking?
S x
I’m sorry to hear that you endured it for so long too, but love that you have managed to stop it 3 years ago. What did you do if you don’t mind me asking?
S x
It came to a head when I accepted that I was going to die of bowel cancer ( I didn't have bowel cancer) and I stopped running from my fears. Next day I had a colonoscopy and was mega shocked to find out that I have one of the best looking colons in the UK! No sign of cancer, whatsoever! I'd given myself a nervous breakdown and made myself VERY poorly imagining I have so many nasty diseases. In the end, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia - which is a pain in the bum (and everywhere else) but it's not life-threatening. Enough was enough. I couldn't keep putting myself and my family through that kind of stress, so I worked my botty off to get better, and the key to it all is acceptance.
flatterycat
16-10-20, 18:40
It came to a head when I accepted that I was going to die of bowel cancer ( I didn't have bowel cancer) and I stopped running from my fears. Next day I had a colonoscopy and was mega shocked to find out that I have one of the best looking colons in the UK! No sign of cancer, whatsoever! I'd given myself a nervous breakdown and made myself VERY poorly imagining I have so many nasty diseases. In the end, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia - which is a pain in the bum (and everywhere else) but it's not life-threatening. Enough was enough. I couldn't keep putting myself and my family through that kind of stress, so I worked my botty off to get better, and the key to it all is acceptance.
Thank-you for sharing that Nora.
I’ve heard of so many people who have just one day said ‘enough’ and accepted things. Gosh I wish I could get to that point. Did you have CBT? How much did it impact on your day to day life?
S x
carriewriting
17-10-20, 04:44
You are not alone. I am 49 and also have long term HA. I'm sure peri-menopause is making it worse and I feel the same way about the risk of something serious happening now I'm in the "older" age bracket.
I tend to cycle through the same HA fears, although this year I have added a few new ones to the mix. I used to be in the "have a test, get a clear result, calm down for a little bit, worry again" pattern, but this year I've found not even the tests reassure me anymore.
I wholeheartedly agree with Nora that acceptance is the only way out of this. I'm trying hard, but it's a struggle to break these ingrained thought patterns.
I'm starting schema therapy this week as CBT only helps to some extent and my therapist thinks it's worth a try to get to the bottom of why I have this underlying feeling of dread all the time.
It's important to share how you're feeling and this can be a good place because people understand what you're going through.
All the very best x
Thank-you for sharing that Nora.
I’ve heard of so many people who have just one day said ‘enough’ and accepted things. Gosh I wish I could get to that point. Did you have CBT? How much did it impact on your day to day life?
S x
I had two lots of CBT - the first didn't help at all, but the second was very helpful - different therapist - different approach.
I had a full nervous and physical breakdown. I couldn't function. I sat in a chair and lived from minute to minute because hours were too much to bear. HA took me to a place I never want to go again.
You don't have to reach breaking point to accept - you just have to make that mental shift.
HA is, at its core, a fear of death and dying, or a fear of leaving a child or loved one who is dependant on us - so it is these fears which need to be addressed by turning to face them, instead of running from them, fearing or avoiding them - which every HA sufferer does.
To accept life, one must accept death and dying.
Get your head around that, and you can kiss goodbye to health anxiety.
WiseMonkey
17-10-20, 05:53
It came to a head when I accepted that I was going to die of bowel cancer ( I didn't have bowel cancer) and I stopped running from my fears. Next day I had a colonoscopy and was mega shocked to find out that I have one of the best looking colons in the UK! No sign of cancer, whatsoever! I'd given myself a nervous breakdown and made myself VERY poorly imagining I have so many nasty diseases. In the end, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia - which is a pain in the bum (and everywhere else) but it's not life-threatening. Enough was enough. I couldn't keep putting myself and my family through that kind of stress, so I worked my botty off to get better, and the key to it all is acceptance.
It's a very real problem when you have an autoimmune conditions like Fibro, CFS or both or other related issues. It can certainly cause HA because the autoimmune conditions cause real symptoms (along with depression) which often can't be explained. I seem to have an HA flare when I have another autoimmune issue pop up, it takes me a while to come to grips with it. The CFS along with the small fibre neuropathy is not nice pleasant but it's not life threatening. Luckily I've come out of my depression and during this time, have connected with two new friends who have conditions similar to mine so I'm not feeling so alone in this.
It's a very real problem when you have an autoimmune conditions like Fibro, CFS or both or other related issues. It can certainly cause HA because the autoimmune conditions cause real symptoms (along with depression) which often can't be explained. I seem to have an HA flare when I have another autoimmune issue pop up, it takes me a while to come to grips with it. The CFS along with the small fibre neuropathy is not nice pleasant but it's not life threatening. Luckily I've come out of my depression and during this time, have connected with two new friends who have conditions similar to mine so I'm not feeling so alone in this.
I'm currently being investigated for a new symptom (abdo pain with some other symptoms) and not once I have I fallen down the rabbit hole.
I had an issue last year where I couldn't walk, or sit down, and my GP sent for an urgent MRI scan and I still didn't go down that hole. This is because I'd addressed my HA at its core. I faced my fear - which was ultimately leaving my autistic son.
The HA I had as a child went when I was 13 because I had an experience which took away my fear of death. I was ok for about 4 years, and then the HA crept back in when I had my first son which coincided with my MIL's health deteriorating, but it wasn't the fear of death - it was the fear of leaving my children - just as it was with my youngest son - only more so because I was 39 when I had him and he's autistic. Nothing has scared me more than the thoughts of me not being here for him!
My mother died 9 years ago, and that's when this most severest phase of HA kicked in. Mum, who was a force to be reckoned with, was taken out so quickly that nobody saw it coming - not even her. First I lost her, and 5 years later I lost my mind. I had fibromyalgia, but I didn't know it. What I imagined were all the terminating diseases which are classic of HA.
Most importantly, I turned myself around before I got my diagnosis, not after when then there was nothing to fear.
I keep wondering if I will fall into the hole again, and it feels weird not to be, but once I accepted my situation (no matter how bad it was going to be) the fear left me.
RE fibro: it definitely helps to talk to people who are going through the same thing. It's does me good to have a good old whinge about the state of my bowels (or whatever) but also to see the humour in the situation. As far as I'm concerned humour is the best medicine there is. :yesyes:
flatterycat
17-10-20, 16:23
Hello Carrie
Thank you for your reply. I’m sorry you’re also suffering with it and I really hope that the schema therapy helps.
You sound just like me in that I too used to be ok after tests, but that doesn’t last nearly as long anymore. I also agree that acceptance is key, but like you say, it’s how you get to that point.
Nora - yes you are so right about the real fear. If I could get over that I would feel free of this awful way of living.
sarah x
WiseMonkey
18-10-20, 00:04
I'm currently being investigated for a new symptom (abdo pain with some other symptoms) and not once I have I fallen down the rabbit hole.
Most importantly, I turned myself around before I got my diagnosis, not after when then there was nothing to fear.
I keep wondering if I will fall into the hole again, and it feels weird not to be, but once I accepted my situation (no matter how bad it was going to be) the fear left me.
RE fibro: it definitely helps to talk to people who are going through the same thing. It's does me good to have a good old whinge about the state of my bowels (or whatever) but also to see the humour in the situation. As far as I'm concerned humour is the best medicine there is. :yesyes:
Thanks for sharing this Nora, wise words :). In retrospect I think my depression had a lot to do with my hip operation, apparently it can strike you a week or two of afterwards, which is just what happened to me. This small fibre neuropathy started late June and I wasn't depressed before I went into hospital, take care Nora :flowers:
Thanks for sharing this Nora, wise words :). In retrospect I think my depression had a lot to do with my hip operation, apparently it can strike you a week or two of afterwards, which is just what happened to me. This small fibre neuropathy started late June and I wasn't depressed before I went into hospital, take care Nora :flowers:
I'm having a tango with the Dark one at the moment as it happens. This is how I go - predominantly anxiety but with episodes of depression. Hubs wants us to go out later on and I don't want to go, but I know I have to go. He needs to do something nice before his dad's funeral tomorrow, and I need to get out into nature to fill up my senses a la John Denver style.
At first, the depressive periods are a welcome break from feeling life amplified by a trillion, but then I stop feeling. I stop doing. I become numb, and that's far worse than anxiety because at least I feel alive wit that 'plugged into the mains' sensation...
This is how I go, and I can see the pattern now. I have a massive fibro flare up (and it's always in the autumn and winter) and my mood plummets. This is when I have to put the serious effort in and step up the self-care, and love. I don't like depressive me. Neither does Hubs. It scares him, I think. Mind you, I'm pretty scary when I'm not depressed ha ha!:wacko:
No matter what the cause is, we have to up the self-care a few gears, and understand that it will pass eventually.
This morning, instead of just opening the door and letting the dog out, I stood there and inhaled the early morning air after the rain, and this is Manchester where it rains a lot..
It's like the smell of cut grass (even though I have hayfever) or walking through our local woods in Spring when all you can see are Bluebells. It's medicinal, and I need more of this - so I will drag my achy body out today and go make some memories.
You take care too lovely X
I hope you can get some medicinal healing vibes from your day, Nora..You will need all your strength for tomorrow xx
I actually prefer feeling low to feeling horribly agitated and unable to get any respite at all from the treadmill feeling. I've never found any comfort in nature but envy the people who do.
I hope you can get some medicinal healing vibes from your day, Nora..You will need all your strength for tomorrow xx
I actually prefer feeling low to feeling horribly agitated and unable to get any respite at all from the treadmill feeling. I've never found any comfort in nature but envy the people who do.
I'm not going to the funeral. We're in tier 2 restrictions and there is nobody to be here for our son, so it has to be me. The service is being live-streamed though...
Nothing lifts me more than staring at the sea (The Cure reference there for ya) and I would happily sit there all day if Hubs let me. I try to get to the sea (I sound like a crab) a few times a year, but in-between visits, I watch YouTube videos or my imagination. :yesyes:
It's all about finding what works for you and different things help at different times, I suppose?
It's all about finding what works for you and different things help at different times, I suppose?
It is. I'm incredibly sensory and my body generally responds to stimuli in intense ways and I thought was the case for everybody, only it turns out not to be the case. Music is one such example where it affects me through most of my senses-opposed to just auditory with Hubs. He listens to music. I experience music. It must be due to how I'm wired, and it's not exclusive to autism, but it certainly makes up for some of the not-so-nice experiences with a brain that generally functions on a much higher frequency than the 'norm'.
The sea is a very sensory experience for me, but most important is what it does to my heartrate and how the imagery can calm me, even when it's memory recall. This, I believe, works with a lot of people - which is why water is so commonly used as relaxation therapy.
Speaking of which, all this talk of water is making me want to go for a wee.:yesyes:
Lady Penelope
28-10-20, 08:29
Hello flatterycat
interested to read your post. How are you getting on?
I too suffer with health anxiety on and off for the last 10 years. I also take Sertraline.
I am due to start CBT with NHS today so hoping that will help. How are you getting g on with your CBT?
Hi FlatteryCat
I could have wrote your post myself it describes me and my life to a T
I’m a little younger just turned 48 but I am petrified about my health everyday and everyday I find a new “symptom” to stress over
The Coronavirus isn’t helping either worrying about myself and my husband kids and family it all gets too much sometimes
I’ve already had 4 weeks off work with it a while ago I only work 12 hours a week but couldn’t even manage that
I have had a bit of councelling didn’t really help never tried CBT I would love to get some control
I hope you find some peace sorry you are going through this 😔
ScaredCaz x
flatterycat
01-11-20, 12:49
Hello a Lady P and ScaredCaz
Sorry you are also going through this.
Lady P - I hope you find the NHS CBT sessions helpful. I have found them to help in the past, but lately I feel stuck. I ‘know’ all the rationale behind thoughts and behaviours and how they can negatively impact me, but I just can’t seem to feel any relief. I go through the motions, do the homework and keep as busy as I can, but everyday is still full of fear around my health. Anything can set me off. I am currently looking into CBT with a specialist in HA and OCD.
Scaredcaz - never feel bad about having to take time off work. I used to berate myself for taking time off, but sometimes it’s what’s needed. Have you suffered for a long time?
Has your doctor not referred you for CBT?
X
Hello a Lady P and ScaredCaz
Sorry you are also going through this.
Lady P - I hope you find the NHS CBT sessions helpful. I have found them to help in the past, but lately I feel stuck. I ‘know’ all the rationale behind thoughts and behaviours and how they can negatively impact me, but I just can’t seem to feel any relief. I go through the motions, do the homework and keep as busy as I can, but everyday is still full of fear around my health. Anything can set me off. I am currently looking into CBT with a specialist in HA and OCD.
Scaredcaz - never feel bad about having to take time off work. I used to berate myself for taking time off, but sometimes it’s what’s needed. Have you suffered for a long time?
Has your doctor not referred you for CBT?
X
Hi
I have suffered for 12 years since mum Mam passed away very suddenly from a heart attack 😔
I also have a underactive thyroid and fibromyalgia
I have a lovely doctor I see when I get bad but she has never suggested I try cbt but maybe it’s because I only see her for reassurance for a new symptom I’ve found I’ve never really sat and said to her I can’t stand living like this even though I feel it sometimes if you know what I mean
At the minute it’s hard to get a face to face appt anyway and if I book a telephone one for this then I feel like I am wasting their time when they could be helping someone with the virus 😔
Stay strong and safe xx
I am another long time health anxiety sufferer, I’m 64 and have had it on and off since a child. It’s got worse since I retired and moved from London. And it’s got a lot worse since the pandemic started. I live alone and I’m stuck with my anxious thoughts and negative mindset 24/7. This coming lockdown will just about finish me off as last time I was in a bubble with my sister who lives nearby but she’ll be caring for her daughter who’s recovering from an operation so she’s bubbling with her this time round.
In the course of a conversation with my doctor in the summer (he doesn’t see patients just does telephone consultations) he mentioned that I had stage 3 kidney disease which he’d failed to tell me before. I’ve been having regular annual blood tests for kidney function as I’ve been on blood pressure tablets for many years but I’d never been told they weren’t ok. I’ve been complaining about fatigue all year but now that I know my kidneys aren’t coping so well I’m all over the place. Doctor doesn’t seem concerned and blithely says there’s nothing that can be done but it’s sending me into a really bad place. What with that and neuropathy, my fears about heart attacks and dementia (both parents had both), acid reflux, IBS and a host of other minor complaints, I don’t know what to do next. The doctor won’t prescribe diazepam or anything like that and as I am quite upfront about my anxiety issues and their debilitating physical effects he doesn’t understand why I can’t just stop being anxious. I’ve done CBT three times in the past but the last two practitioners weren’t very good, plus I don’t drive so I can’t go much beyond local which is a bit of a backwater. Also, I’m not good with bad weather as I’ve had so many issues with damp in my property. And, my dog is very scared of fireworks at the moment and refusing to go out after dark, which is stressful. Sorry, too many worries for one post.
I think it just goes to show how lockdown is the last straw for some of us. I just want to go to bed and stay there, but it’s not an option. Thanks for reading.
Lady Penelope
01-11-20, 22:46
Hello Clarrie
I just wanted to comment on your key stage 3 kidney disease. I was referred to the hospital for something minor about 15 years ago and noticed on the referral letter that I had stage 3 kidney disease. This had never been mentioned to me by anyone so I thought it was a mistake. I contacted the surgery and they said I had had it for about 5 years and it was picked up from a route blood test! I was shocked that not one mentioned it to me.
anyway to cut a long story short I have now had it for about 20 years. The readings never vary from one year to the next and it has never got any worse. I think it is quite common and there is nothing to be done apart from controlling blood pressure.
I am 61 now and have been on blood pressure medication for about 10 years.
My health anxiety started 10 years ago when I lost my dad. I was successfully treated with Anti depressants and CBT in 2017 and felt great for a while but it has crept back again. I am now on anti depressants again and started CBT last week so I am hopeful this combination will work for me again.
Health anxiety is an awful thing to live with and I really feel for you that you have had it for so long. I would recommend a you tube video on health anxiety by a lady called Paige Pradko. She explains it as a form of OCD.
I wish you all the best.
Lady Penelope
01-11-20, 22:51
Hello
Scared Caz
I found a combination of CBT and anti depressants really helped me when I first had health anxiety a few years ago. I came of the anti depressants too soon I think and have now relapsed.
I am now back on anti depressants and started CBT this week via NHS.
I think it is worth you trying CBT. I see you are in the UK so you may be able to self refer yourself via your local IAPT service or ask your GP to refer you.
I wish you all the best
I'm 61 and just feel that people of our age with long term MH issues can get a raw deal in terms of "treatment". Everything is geared towards younger people but older people are still visible and out there and deserving of respect. I'm sorry your GP was so dismissive of your kidney issues, Clarrie. You deserve a full explanation.
I've managed to get my own HA under control to a degree. I don't take meds but it's a personal choice. We shouldn't feel written off..
Hello
Scared Caz
I found a combination of CBT and anti depressants really helped me when I first had health anxiety a few years ago. I came of the anti depressants too soon I think and have now relapsed.
I am now back on anti depressants and started CBT this week via NHS.
I think it is worth you trying CBT. I see you are in the UK so you may be able to self refer yourself via your local IAPT service or ask your GP to refer you.
I wish you all the best
Hi Lady Penelope
Thanks for your reply
I have thought a lot recently about getting some long lasting long term help because I do sometimes feel this is not a life just an existence but when I don’t feel too bad I don’t want to think about it and when I’m bad I’m just so convinced I have some long term nasty illness I can’t think of nothing else
I feel like my HA is a little different because I can not stand the thought of having any kind of test or being referred to the hospital for anything absolutely scares the life out of me and I know it’s probably going to happen at some point in my life I’ve had 4 kids and I don’t know where I got the guts to have them from the thought of regular hospital visits even for something as lovely as a new baby makes me want to panic and I had a c section with my last one but that was 19 years ago
I’ve had blood tests which I am ok about because it’s just my local doc surgery but I am a mess when I have to ring for the results
I feel for everybody on this thread it really is a crippling form of anxiety
Best wishes to all
ScaredCaz x
Hello Clarrie
I just wanted to comment on your key stage 3 kidney disease. I was referred to the hospital for something minor about 15 years ago and noticed on the referral letter that I had stage 3 kidney disease. This had never been mentioned to me by anyone so I thought it was a mistake. I contacted the surgery and they said I had had it for about 5 years and it was picked up from a route blood test! I was shocked that not one mentioned it to me.
anyway to cut a long story short I have now had it for about 20 years. The readings never vary from one year to the next and it has never got any worse. I think it is quite common and there is nothing to be done apart from controlling blood pressure.
I am 61 now and have been on blood pressure medication for about 10 years.
My health anxiety started 10 years ago when I lost my dad. I was successfully treated with Anti depressants and CBT in 2017 and felt great for a while but it has crept back again. I am now on anti depressants again and started CBT last week so I am hopeful this combination will work for me again.
Health anxiety is an awful thing to live with and I really feel for you that you have had it for so long. I would recommend a you tube video on health anxiety by a lady called Paige Pradko. She explains it as a form of OCD.
I wish you all the best.
Thank you Lady Penelope, that’s the first reassuring thing I’ve read about kidney disease. I am absolutely my own worst enemy when it comes to making myself unwell by brooding about what the doctor has said or not said and if I see a set of symptoms associated with a condition I can guarantee I’ll have at least two of them by the next day! Thank you for taking the time to respond, I will have a look at the YouTube video.
I think you are being too hard on yourself when you say you aren't trying hard enough. Chances are you have tried very hard on numerous occasions.
Could it be that you stop working at a particular method before it takes effect? I'm terrible for it in a lot of things. The number of books I have read that I haven't put the technique into practice.
I did get over hand washing to the point where it doesn't even cross my mind as a problem anymore. I was awful and my hands were raw. It took time and consistency for it to work.
HA is just another form of ocd so cbt should work,you just need to stick at it and remain consistent.
I'm sure you are familiar with breaking the circle. Well this is just that. Stop obsessing and checking and if something is wrong dont Google. If you need advice ask a professional. This is why they go to university for years. And once you receive a diagnosis, trust them.
If you go to the doctors, ask about the illness you are worried about and why they believe it isnt that. You can use this information as an argument in your thought process at a later date
Remember to take a pen.
Also if you fall off the wagon, just get back on as soon as possible.
Sorry for the long post.
Hi there
Just to say I'm absolutely the same. I'm almost 48 and in perimenopause. I have had health anxiety for years but in the last 2 years I have hit rock bottom. As others have mentioned I used to get checked out and if results were ok I would be fine for some time but now I'm 100% convinced there is something going on and nothing doctors can say changes my mind. I have so many odd physical symptoms that I can't believe it's "just" anxiety. Plus I have googled so so much that whenever docs dismiss one illness I can think of others that can also cause my symptoms. Everyday is a struggle. I just started a new job 2 months ago, a job I really wanted and now I'm really considering giving it up. Sorry for the moan :(
flatterycat
13-11-20, 18:38
Hi Sial72
Im sorry to hear you are struggling too. Please don’t think you are moaning - we all understand and it’s good to rant about it in a safe place.
x
Hello Ladies
Please may I join this thread? I can identify so much with you all. I'm 57, and have HA for a very long time now. This year has been very hard for us all, on top of everything else.
I take HRT, but despite that, I still circle round the same fears. At the moment, I'm scared that there is something wrong with my heart. I tihink I had an anxiety/panic attack last night, my heart felt really fluttery for hours, and I started shaking, it was as if I was about to get on a plane (I have an intense fear of flying). But I don't know where it came from. and then I start to worry it was not anxiety, but my heart doing something sinister. I have been given some sertraline by my GP, but I'm too scared to take it, as I have heard anedoctally that the anxiety gets worse before it gets better, and I'm worried it will tip me over the edge.
Wishing you all some inner peace
Inanna xx
Setting these fears aside for a moment, what's good in your lives?
For me, it's my little grandson (who is giving my son some shit just like he gave me ha) my sons, Netflix, and my car passing her MOT. :yesyes:
My guinea pig has managed to pass his bladder stone naturally (confirmed by scan) thus saving me a mega vet bill and days of post-surgery syringe feeding! He's got a chronic bladder issue anyway (interstitial cystitis,I kid you not!:))
The daggers going into my upper back are not so sharp today.
My washing machine is still working (mustn't tempt fate!)
I have a roof over my head
My guinea pig has managed to pass his bladder stone naturally (confirmed by scan) thus saving me a mega vet bill and days of post-surgery syringe feeding! He's got a chronic bladder issue anyway (interstitial cystitis,I kid you not!:))
The daggers going into my upper back are not so sharp today.
My washing machine is still working (mustn't tempt fate!)
I have a roof over my head
Good to hear Mr G Pig has passed that sucka! :yesyes:
My washing machine is plodding on but I fear he's on his last legs. Only had it 5 years. (they don't make em like they used to)
Lady Penelope
16-11-20, 17:40
Hello Ladies
Please may I join this thread? I can identify so much with you all. I'm 57, and have HA for a very long time now. This year has been very hard for us all, on top of everything else.
I take HRT, but despite that, I still circle round the same fears. At the moment, I'm scared that there is something wrong with my heart. I tihink I had an anxiety/panic attack last night, my heart felt really fluttery for hours, and I started shaking, it was as if I was about to get on a plane (I have an intense fear of flying). But I don't know where it came from. and then I start to worry it was not anxiety, but my heart doing something sinister. I have been given some sertraline by my GP, but I'm too scared to take it, as I have heard anedoctally that the anxiety gets worse before it gets better, and I'm worried it will tip me over the edge.
Wishing you all some inner peace
Inanna xx
hello Inanna
sorry to hear you are suffering so much.
I am currently on Sertraline. I was prescribed it in Feb this year but did not start taking it until august. I have had some good days on it and I am now having CBT as well.
I have written about my experience with Sertraline under another thread ‘trying to manage without medication but is it time to give it a go?’
I did not start the Sertraline as I was so scared of the side effects. I eventually got so desperate that I decided to try it. I started on 25mg and I have worked my way up to 75mg slowly. I am still getting anxiety every day but it is more manageable. I think it helps me to work on my anxiety with the CBT. I will be going up to 100mg soon.
I started on 25mg as I was so worried about the side effects and I think the lower dose for a few weeks helped.
good luck with your journey - health anxiety is just awful x
Hi
norab, the good things in my life... I have a good job, a safe place to sleep at night and enough food. I also have two fabulous daughters, and a wonderful man (after an abusive marriage and some other bad choices). Long term health anxiety - Page 4 (https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?240862-Long-term-health-anxiety/page4)
so, according to Maslow hierarchy of needs, I have all the basic ones, plus some of the emotional ones.
lady penelope
thanks for your reply, I’m going to read your thread , hopefully it will inspire me
Inanna xx
Hi
norab, the good things in my life... I have a good job, a safe place to sleep at night and enough food. I also have two fabulous daughters, and a wonderful man (after an abusive marriage and some other bad choices).
I am so glad you found some happy after an abusive marriage. X
so, according to Maslow hierarchy of needs, I have all the basic ones, plus some of the emotional ones.
Had to Google this, so thank you - I've learned something (which I love to do)
Going by your Maslow's hierarchy of needs I had the physiological needs from birth and safety and security up to the age of 16 which was when I left home and moved in with my boyfriend. Pretty much went tits up from there and stayed tits up for over 20 years. Love and belongingness came from my family but not friends as I was always the outsider. Self-esteem went out the window from age 5 (school) and as a result of being in a marriage which basically stripped me of my self-esteem which was already limited from my experiences at school. Self-actualisation only came to be when I was diagnosed autistic and finally understood myself. (46 years)
Today, aged 50 - I have everything except health, and even that isn't as bad as it could be, and I am working on that too.
I have a full pyramid! Isn't that wonderful? :bighug1:
I can't tell you how valuable this has been, so thank you. X
Hi nora
im glad you’ve found it useful and interesting. Feels nice to know that, as you have been so much help to me, your posts are always helpful, supportive and calming.
Ive found something on the calm app, that really helps me too. It’s classical piano , played by Ed Bogas. Very relaxiing, and reminds me of my dad, who played piano beautifully too. Brings back nice memories.
Inanna xx
Glad you have found some peace, Inanna....Always such a relief.
Enjoy the music and remember your dad with love xx
Ive found something on the calm app, that really helps me too. It’s classical piano , played by Ed Bogas. Very relaxiing, and reminds me of my dad, who played piano beautifully too. Brings back nice memories.
Inanna xx
I love piano music, not the plinky-plonk type but the gentle stuff. Makes me cry. X :weep: (but in a good way)
Hi
I felt the need to post on this thread as I'm a long term sufferer of HA and I'm 47 and according to my GP going through the wonderful menopause! I am due to start CBT again next week and I'm at the point where I really want to put this HA to bed once and for all. I know it stems from a fear of death and if I could get my head around that I think the HA would ease but it's just so difficult. Would be good to keep this thread going so we can see if anything works for any of us. Other possibilities I'm looking into are Hypnotherapy and possible trialling HRT as I've heard anxiety is so much worse around menopause. Sara
I know it stems from a fear of death and if I could get my head around that I think the HA would ease but it's just so difficult.
You're right. Accepting death as part of life is the key to successfully controlling HA.
Would be good to keep this thread going so we can see if anything works for any of us. Other possibilities I'm looking into are Hypnotherapy and possible trialling HRT as I've heard anxiety is so much worse around menopause. Sara
The menopause does ramp up anxiety because it's a hormonal imbalance and it usually ties in with moody teenage kids, kids leaving home, and ailing parents - so lots of emotional factors making things worse. HRT can be helpful with the physical symptoms (I chose not to take it) but only for as long as you are taking it. Do your research and weigh up the pros and cons. :yesyes:
Thanks Nora,
Dad has recently been diagnosed with Leukemia, Father in Law is seriously ill and both mums are struggling to cope. I also have a moody 15 year old at home, so you have hit the nail on the head about ailing parents and teenagers. Feels at the moment like my brain just can't cope with it all and it's manifesting itself by ramping up my own health fears! It's comforting to know you overcame it and it does give hope. I think that with my CBT I am going to say I need to focus on the fear of death rather than the illnesses I fear. As you say if I can learn to deal with that then I feel it would remove the power that these feared illnesses hold.
Thanks Nora,
Dad has recently been diagnosed with Leukemia,
Sorry to hear that. X
Feels at the moment like my brain just can't cope with it all
It is a lot to cope with, and all at the same time that your body is going through the biggest hormonal change since pregnancy..
Many women develop health anxiety around this time, so you're not alone.
I think that with my CBT I am going to say I need to focus on the fear of death rather than the illnesses I fear. As you say if I can learn to deal with that then I feel it would remove the power that these feared illnesses hold.
Maybe research 'good deaths'? Also, if you're into this kind of stuff - NDE's - which is the closest we know about what it's like to die - (IANDS is a good place to start) online website or their YouTube channel is excellent.
Some good podcasts out there too - Sandra Champlain's We Don't Die is good - lots of good interviews with interesting people.
I'm also just discovering energy healing which might help with your symptoms -we are all made up of energy so it makes sense to work with energy and try to get it back in relative harmony. Donna Eden is a good starting place (warning though - she's very cheerful lol)
You don't have to believe in an afterlife to accept death. I didn't go looking for this - it came to me when I was very young, and as a result I don't fear death itself. My problem was in the thought of leaving my young son - that's what I had to learn to accept.
All that's required is acceptance that potential illness and inevitable death is part of life.
If you can remove your fear of death - which to many of us is simply the transition from one form to another- you're anxieties will decrease.
Our fear of death often stems from dramatic (but unrealistic) portrayal on TV and in the movies. Death is usually far more boring and uneventful. It's a passing from one state to another, and often the suffering is for those who are observing, rather than the person whose body is slowly shutting down. When death is sudden - suffering is minimal - if at all. And even when death is a marathon, rather than a sprint - pain is only part of the chapter, and even that can be managed effectively these days. It's just a matter of finding the balance for the individual.
Also, life is life until it's no longer there - and that means that good memories can still be made, so keep that in mind with your dad and your in-laws.
Most people release their fear of death - even if it's at the moment of passing. I don't know about you, but I don't want to leave it that late. :winks: X
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