View Full Version : BigOldDrives Big Old Problem List
BigOldDrive
17-10-20, 22:23
Going to keep all my worries on this one thread.
Having a nightmare with HA tonight and feel like crying to be honest as ridiculous as that sounds.
Constantly worried everything I do or have done has caused me harm.
Really worried about the skirting boards in the landing next to my bedroom I had to paint in woodworm killer a few years back. Worried about the vapours I breathed in when doing it and they are going to cause me a horrible illness later on in life :-( I haven't researched this at all and I don't dare my mind just instantly jumps to that conclusion.
I am living a secret life of constant worry that no one knows about, but on the surface no one would ever know.
MRS STRESS ED
17-10-20, 23:06
Going to keep all my worries on this one thread.
Having a nightmare with HA tonight and feel like crying to be honest as ridiculous as that sounds.
Constantly worried everything I do or have done has caused me harm.
Really worried about the skirting boards in the landing next to my bedroom I had to paint in woodworm killer a few years back. Worried about the vapours I breathed in when doing it and they are going to cause me a horrible illness later on in life :-( I haven't researched this at all and I don't dare my mind just instantly jumps to that conclusion.
I am living a secret life of constant worry that no one knows about, but on the surface no one would ever know.
Sorry to hear your having a bad time me too so l totally get you, but you need to talk to someone about this its not healthy keeping it inside, my anxiety is that bad I couldn't keep it a secret and remember there is know shame in opening up,
please try and talk about your problems its helps, does your doctor know because that's a good place to start, unfortunately we overthink everything its the nature of this awful anxiety hope you get some help don't bottle it up take care xx
BigOldDrive
17-10-20, 23:27
Sorry to hear your having a bad time me too so l totally get you, but you need to talk to someone about this its not healthy keeping it inside, my anxiety is that bad I couldn't keep it a secret and remember there is know shame in opening up,
please try and talk about your problems its helps, does your doctor know because that's a good place to start, unfortunately we overthink everything its the nature of this awful anxiety hope you get some help don't bottle it up take care xx
Worried if I tell my doctor it will be on my record and in the future no one will take any genuine concerns I go with seriously
MRS STRESS ED
18-10-20, 01:37
l understand what your saying but l like to think things have mored on alot l stoll think you need to get some help woth it take care xx
Going to keep all my worries on this one thread.
Having a nightmare with HA tonight and feel like crying to be honest as ridiculous as that sounds.
Constantly worried everything I do or have done has caused me harm.
Really worried about the skirting boards in the landing next to my bedroom I had to paint in woodworm killer a few years back. Worried about the vapours I breathed in when doing it and they are going to cause me a horrible illness later on in life :-( I haven't researched this at all and I don't dare my mind just instantly jumps to that conclusion.
I am living a secret life of constant worry that no one knows about, but on the surface no one would ever know.
Hi BOD. (I loved Bod in the 70s)
Sorry to hear you're struggling, and if it helps, I get it.
Firstly, if you feel like crying, just go ahead and cry!
Secondly, what are you doing to address your HA? You say that nobody knows, so that implies that you are not getting any professional help?
If you are simply going to use this thread as a symptom dump - as others on here do - then you need to understand that it's not going to help you in the long-term. It will give you momentary relief at best, but reassurance seeking won't sort out your problem.
Do you know what started your fears? When did this HA start? Was there an event? Did something happen to somebody you love? Did you grow up around loved ones who were unwell?
I know people take the piss out psychiatrists when they say, 'Tell me about your childhood', but so many mental disorders have roots in childhood - mine for a start.
BigOldDrive
18-10-20, 08:07
Hi BOD. (I loved Bod in the 70s)
Sorry to hear you're struggling, and if it helps, I get it.
Firstly, if you feel like crying, just go ahead and cry!
Secondly, what are you doing to address your HA? You say that nobody knows, so that implies that you are not getting any professional help?
If you are simply going to use this thread as a symptom dump - as others on here do - then you need to understand that it's not going to help you in the long-term. It will give you momentary relief at best, but reassurance seeking won't sort out your problem.
Do you know what started your fears? When did this HA start? Was there an event? Did something happen to somebody you love? Did you grow up around loved ones who were unwell?
I know people take the piss out psychiatrists when they say, 'Tell me about your childhood', but so many mental disorders have roots in childhood - mine for a start.
Hi NoraB,
That is right I am currently not getting any help. Is there anyway I can get help without going through my doctor? Or would that cost a lot of money?
I think it might have all started when I brushed my artex ceiling when I first purchased my new home and lots of little bits feel down and my mum panicked me saying it might contain asbestos. I played in a shed for a bit as well with a asbestos roof and worry the wind blowing the roof made lots of asbestos drop down. I can not even walk past a roof made of asbestos now without horrible thoughts.
My mum has extreme OCD and brought me up in a very protective manner where I was told how dangerous everything is constantly.
To be honest I an not sure if I have depression and social anxiety mixed in with all this as well and it is tiring dealing with it all day :-|
Hi NoraB,
That is right I am currently not getting any help. Is there anyway I can get help without going through my doctor? Or would that cost a lot of money?
Why don't you want to go through your GP?
You can pay privately if you want to but why would you want to do that when you can get therapy on the NHS?
There's no shame, whatsoever, in having a mental health disorder Bod. (I have several)
My mum has extreme OCD and brought me up in a very protective manner where I was told how dangerous everything is constantly.
And there's your core issue...
Everything that you are struggling with now stems from your childhood and your mother's mental health issues.
Has she ever had any kind of therapy?
That said, you can break this cycle, but it is going to take a lot of effort and determination on your part.
To be honest I an not sure if I have depression and social anxiety mixed in with all this as well and it is tiring dealing with it all day :-|
Tell me about it. I'm autistic with a string of mental health disorders, including OCD. I had a nervous breakdown when my son was 7 and I have to repair the damage that did to him. I also have a chronic health condition to cope with, but I overcame my HA issues, and so can you.
You start by talking to somebody.
What you don't do is hide mental health issues away like they are something to be ashamed of. Some people associate mental health illness with weakness? On the contrary, it takes strength and courage to endure this kind of stress every day, and it takes even more to overcome it.
It's very tiring, all this. Exhausting, I'd say. But we are stronger than we think we are. The energy we need to get better is there. All we need to access this is the determination to want to get better, and by saying four words to the right people: I need some help.
BigOldDrive
18-10-20, 22:31
Why don't you want to go through your GP?
You can pay privately if you want to but why would you want to do that when you can get therapy on the NHS?
There's no shame, whatsoever, in having a mental health disorder Bod. (I have several)
And there's your core issue...
Everything that you are struggling with now stems from your childhood and your mother's mental health issues.
Has she ever had any kind of therapy?
That said, you can break this cycle, but it is going to take a lot of effort and determination on your part.
Tell me about it. I'm autistic with a string of mental health disorders, including OCD. I had a nervous breakdown when my son was 7 and I have to repair the damage that did to him. I also have a chronic health condition to cope with, but I overcame my HA issues, and so can you.
You start by talking to somebody.
What you don't do is hide mental health issues away like they are something to be ashamed of. Some people associate mental health illness with weakness? On the contrary, it takes strength and courage to endure this kind of stress every day, and it takes even more to overcome it.
It's very tiring, all this. Exhausting, I'd say. But we are stronger than we think we are. The energy we need to get better is there. All we need to access this is the determination to want to get better, and by saying four words to the right people: I need some help.
Thanks for all your help and support sorry to hear about your own struggles but glad to hear you ha is all sorted now!
What did you do to fix your HA? Did you have therapy through the NHS?
No my mum has never had any help and wouldn't even admit there is a problem. Another family member also has OCD so bad they don't leave the house and have basically been told numerous time they are too advanced and no one would be able to help but that is another issue I guess.
Think one of the reasons I have not gone for any help is I feel like I am being daft and worrying about stuff people would find laughable. For example I got a small bit of weedkiller on me a few months ago which I did not wash off. I will then jump to the conclusion it has absorbed through my skin and will give me cancer in 10 years time. I do not know if that is even possible but it will worry me for months. That sounds ridiculously and laughable to 99% the population, I am not even sure a doctor would keep a straight face.
I feel like I need a full mental health assessment to figure out why I don't feel "normal". Is it possible to have such a thing? I don't want to start googling or self diagnosing what might be wrong with me as I think that might be the wrong approach.
I guess I am also worried people would think less of me there is still a lot of people who just think 'pull yourself together man'
What did you do to fix your HA? Did you have therapy through the NHS?
Two lots of CBT courtesy of the NHS.
I feel like I need a full mental health assessment to figure out why I don't feel "normal". Is it possible to have such a thing?
I don't know what 'normal' feels like. :wacko:
You start by seeing your GP who should refer you to the appropriate person, but you do need to tell him/her everything - no matter how 'silly' you think it is.
I guess I am also worried people would think less of me there is still a lot of people who just think 'pull yourself together man'
Yes, there are people like that, but they don't matter - you do.
It's an easy thing to say, 'Pull yourself together' when you have no idea of what the person is going through, but with any mental health disorder it's not a case of 'pulling yourself together', but accepting the hand that's trying to pull you up, so when help is given - accept it and fully engage with it.
BigOldDrive
19-10-20, 07:45
Two lots of CBT courtesy of the NHS.
I don't know what 'normal' feels like. :wacko:
You start by seeing your GP who should refer you to the appropriate person, but you do need to tell him/her everything - no matter how 'silly' you think it is.
Yes, there are people like that, but they don't matter - you do.
It's an easy thing to say, 'Pull yourself together' when you have no idea of what the person is going through, but with any mental health disorder it's not a case of 'pulling yourself together', but accepting the hand that's trying to pull you up, so when help is given - accept it and fully engage with it.
Wow that is amazing that you got yourself sorted in two sessions! I know it doesn't matter how long it takes and everyone is different but it gives me hope it is not something which will take several years to get better.
Can you have as many sessions as needed to get better? Or is it a bit like when they send you to physio, you get 3-4 sessions then you are referred back to the doctors?
How long did you roughly have to wait for help to arrive?
Thanks for all your amazing help.
I am excited there is help out there somewhere which works :-)
BigOldDrive
19-10-20, 07:50
Is CBT where you get to physically see someone?
Wow that is amazing that you got yourself sorted in two sessions! I know it doesn't matter how long it takes and everyone is different but it gives me hope it is not something which will take several years to get better.
I had 12 sessions in total.
Can you have as many sessions as needed to get better? Or is it a bit like when they send you to physio, you get 3-4 sessions then you are referred back to the doctors?
With me, it was a case of six sessions or more if I required it. My first lot of CBT was a waste of time. It was over the phone, and it just didn't work for me. The second lot was in person and the therapist took on board the fact that I am a visual learner, so he did lots of diagrams for me. I only needed six weeks.
How long did you roughly have to wait for help to arrive?
I can't remember exactly. There was a referral from my GP, but you can refer yourself directly (look at the NHS Cognitive Therapy webpage where there is a link) and then I was asked to go for an assessment to see if CBT was suitable for me. Then I went on a waiting list but I know I wasn't waiting too long before I saw a therapist. You can pay privately, and you will most likely be seen quicker, but that's your call.
Thanks for all your amazing help.
You're very welcome. :)
Nora, did you have the visually based CBT after your ASD diagnosis?
Hi. Your anxiety sounds extremely similar to mine. I too have had nearly exactly the same worries as you about asbestos and weed killer etc and now have got to the point where I think everything I come across could kill me in the future. I even stopped going to the exercise class I loved because the place it was held had an asbestos roof and I worried myself for weeks because I saw my neighbour spraying weed killer. We bought an old house that we are renovating and I worry myself sick about nearly every job we do in case I’ve breathed something in or something deeper into my skin etc. It struck a chord with me where you said you’re worried you’ve done something in that will come back to haunt you in the future. Me too. Whilst reassurance won’t cure you of HA sometimes it does help so a couple of things I was told that calmed me down and helped me to function:-
If weed killer was that dangerous they wouldn’t be selling it in shops. Most of it is watered down and it’s exposure to massive amounts on a regular basis that does the damage and even then not in everybody. Re asbestos it’s the black asbestos that is the real killer not white asbestos and also a specialist once told me that people who have breathed it in cough a lot of the fibres out without even knowing it. Again it’s repeated exposure to clouds of it that does the damage. Re the woodworm stuff you used, once again they just couldn’t sell it on the market if it was that dangerous and unless you’re using it on a daily basis for 20 years try not to worry. Sometimes when mine is really bad I try to rationalise that if I smoked one cigarette I wouldn’t spend the next 10 years worrying I’d die from it. I hope this helps in the short term but yes addressing the root cause is the key to tackling the HA which I am also trying to do albeit not very successfully. Sometimes you just need reassurance to be able to function enough to tackle the day :-)
Nora, did you have the visually based CBT after your ASD diagnosis?
I honestly can't remember, probably before? :unsure: But I 'knew' I was autistic before I was formally diagnosed. My son was diagnosed at 4 years and it all made sense. The one thing I'd never thought of in regards to my lifelong issues was autism. Closest I came was HSP. The intention was to get my lad sorted out then see how I felt about going for assessment, but my breakdown forced the issue and I was referred for assessment by an A&E psychiatrist. By then I had done the autistic thing and researched the living daylights out of the subject, and I knew that many issues I'd had trying to learn stuff at school was down to the way I was taught, and also why I struggled with learning to drive if I was given more than one verbal instruction at a time..
BigOldDrive
04-11-20, 19:31
So I bumped into a old friend tonight I have not seen in 15 years and we kept social distancing for 95% of the time.
In the excitement of it all he wanted to show me a few pics of his family on his phone. For 1-2 mins I was pretty much shoulder to shoulder with him then we remembered quickly to stand back.
Would those 1-2 mins put me at major risk of getting covid-19 if he had it? How long do I need to worry about this for before symptoms start appearing 5 days?
I honestly can't remember, probably before? :unsure: But I 'knew' I was autistic before I was formally diagnosed. My son was diagnosed at 4 years and it all made sense. The one thing I'd never thought of in regards to my lifelong issues was autism. Closest I came was HSP. The intention was to get my lad sorted out then see how I felt about going for assessment, but my breakdown forced the issue and I was referred for assessment by an A&E psychiatrist. By then I had done the autistic thing and researched the living daylights out of the subject, and I knew that many issues I'd had trying to learn stuff at school was down to the way I was taught, and also why I struggled with learning to drive if I was given more than one verbal instruction at a time..
Wow, Nora. Your written communication is so expressive, I would’ve never guessed you had problems communicating elsewhere. Were you always able to express yourself well in writing or did that come over time?
So I bumped into a old friend tonight I have not seen in 15 years and we kept social distancing for 95% of the time.
In the excitement of it all he wanted to show me a few pics of his family on his phone. For 1-2 mins I was pretty much shoulder to shoulder with him then we remembered quickly to stand back.
Would those 1-2 mins put me at major risk of getting covid-19 if he had it? How long do I need to worry about this for before symptoms start appearing 5 days?
you don’t even know he had it. If you both had your masks on, I’m sure you two are fine.
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