Feathers of Freedom
18-10-20, 22:15
Hi everyone, this is a strange one so please stick with me. I'm going to explain what I've been dealing with in recent years and hopefully, others will see this, especially those who are going through the same thing. In May of 2018, I was rushed to the hospital after having the worst panic attack of my life. I'm agoraphobic, by that point I hadn't left the house in 5 years, not even once. The anxiety levels weren't going down and I had no meds (I never saw a doctor, nobody would come out to see me) in the past the symptoms would gradually fade but this time it didn't. I was taken in by ambulance and my mother was with me, I needed the support. I was completely overwhelmed by the hospital environment and I had all of my worst fears come true. As a health anxiety sufferer, I heard the worst news any of us could possibly hear, "we have to keep you in, you have severely low phosphate and it can be dangerous" I had no idea what that meant, I had never heard of phosphate before. I was told that seizures, coma, death, and heart failure may result if urgent treatment isn't given. At that point, I was convinced that I was dying at only age 22. I was hooked up to an IV infusion of phosphate for twelve hours. The endocrine doctor wanted to see me but in the meantime, I spoke to other doctors who said "the panic is causing this" I was angry. I thought it was preposterous and untrue, I challenged their words by saying "a panic attack can't harm you, it's not possible" I was determined not to believe it, to the point where my mother made a complaint, as a family we felt they had got it wrong.
I'm an avid researcher, I spend far too much time reading about illnesses like so many others and I had never come across this. The endo doctor saw me, he explained to me that severe hyperventilation can cause phosphate levels to deplete rapidly in the blood, it's known as "severe respiratory alkalosis" he said this caused my Hypophosphatemia. Here is some medical jargon on the condition "Acute respiratory alkalosis induces hypophosphatemia via changes in cellular pH. Increased pH stimulates phosphofructokinase, thus stimulating glycolysis to produce ATP, thus consuming phosphate from the cellular space. Serum phosphate is shifted intracellularly to meet this demand" In plain English, this means when you have a major episode of prolonged gasping for air, your hormones and electrolytes become imbalanced. I still didn't believe it, the doctor proved it to me by showing me a blood test taken that proved I was hyperventilating at the time. Something to do with blood gasses. It happens to people with severe breathing issues, sepsis, really bad asthma, COPD, etc. On the Wikipedia page for Hypophosphatemia, it says "Any alkalemic condition moves phosphate out of the blood into cells. This includes most common respiratory alkalemia (a higher than normal blood pH from low carbon dioxide levels in the blood), which in turn is caused by any hyperventilation (such as may result from sepsis, fever, pain, anxiety, drug withdrawal, and many other causes)" So my research has led me down a new path. After having the IV, I recovered, I was discharged 2 days later and sent home with a vile tasting drink called Sandoz Phosphate. I was told to drink this every time I had a really awful panic attack, it's such a hard drink to take with my weak stomach, I have dyspepsia, GERD, and emetophobia, so nausea for me is unbearable. I was told to jump on Vitamin D as this helps regulate levels in the blood, I'm still on that today as well as Mirtazapine to try and sedate me.
That's not the end, not by a long shot, it happened on three other occasions, I was hospitalized and put on the IV another three times with the same illness brought on by severe panic attacks. Phosphate levels were extremely low and they were worried about my heart rate, I pretty much resigned to fate at this point, lost all hope, and had dark thoughts, I didn't want to suffer anymore. I couldn't believe that my worst nightmare had come true, I was legitimately sick. I've found if I take plenty of Propranolol, it does not happen even in stressful times, the beta-blocker caps adrenaline, and I think it has a lot to do with stress hormones and chemicals. I don't like taking beta-blockers due to low blood pressure so I often don't take it when I should. Fast forward to today, I was in the hospital again about two months ago with the same issue, I want to use my time and energy to raise awareness of this problem. It destroyed my quality of life but I'm determined to make something positive out of it. I'm frail and I struggle to walk and I have little day to day enjoyment, I never know if I'll be spending the night in my own bed or in hospital. if I can reach just one person who is going through this, I'll rest easy. I've read every PDF on Hypophosphatemia, I've spoken to people who have tumor-induced phosphate problems but never anyone like me. At this stage, the doctors have given me two choices, a low dose of olanzapine to knock out the panic or CBT or a combination of both. I failed my first round of CBT in 2019, even after 30 plus sessions, I felt no better. I may have to take this pill and see how it works. Being a little "out of it" is better than electrolyte imbalances right? I think we would all agree on that. I hope I haven't scared you, I'm just telling you the honest truth of my struggle. I pray day and night that I'll be cured. Thank you for reading.
I'm an avid researcher, I spend far too much time reading about illnesses like so many others and I had never come across this. The endo doctor saw me, he explained to me that severe hyperventilation can cause phosphate levels to deplete rapidly in the blood, it's known as "severe respiratory alkalosis" he said this caused my Hypophosphatemia. Here is some medical jargon on the condition "Acute respiratory alkalosis induces hypophosphatemia via changes in cellular pH. Increased pH stimulates phosphofructokinase, thus stimulating glycolysis to produce ATP, thus consuming phosphate from the cellular space. Serum phosphate is shifted intracellularly to meet this demand" In plain English, this means when you have a major episode of prolonged gasping for air, your hormones and electrolytes become imbalanced. I still didn't believe it, the doctor proved it to me by showing me a blood test taken that proved I was hyperventilating at the time. Something to do with blood gasses. It happens to people with severe breathing issues, sepsis, really bad asthma, COPD, etc. On the Wikipedia page for Hypophosphatemia, it says "Any alkalemic condition moves phosphate out of the blood into cells. This includes most common respiratory alkalemia (a higher than normal blood pH from low carbon dioxide levels in the blood), which in turn is caused by any hyperventilation (such as may result from sepsis, fever, pain, anxiety, drug withdrawal, and many other causes)" So my research has led me down a new path. After having the IV, I recovered, I was discharged 2 days later and sent home with a vile tasting drink called Sandoz Phosphate. I was told to drink this every time I had a really awful panic attack, it's such a hard drink to take with my weak stomach, I have dyspepsia, GERD, and emetophobia, so nausea for me is unbearable. I was told to jump on Vitamin D as this helps regulate levels in the blood, I'm still on that today as well as Mirtazapine to try and sedate me.
That's not the end, not by a long shot, it happened on three other occasions, I was hospitalized and put on the IV another three times with the same illness brought on by severe panic attacks. Phosphate levels were extremely low and they were worried about my heart rate, I pretty much resigned to fate at this point, lost all hope, and had dark thoughts, I didn't want to suffer anymore. I couldn't believe that my worst nightmare had come true, I was legitimately sick. I've found if I take plenty of Propranolol, it does not happen even in stressful times, the beta-blocker caps adrenaline, and I think it has a lot to do with stress hormones and chemicals. I don't like taking beta-blockers due to low blood pressure so I often don't take it when I should. Fast forward to today, I was in the hospital again about two months ago with the same issue, I want to use my time and energy to raise awareness of this problem. It destroyed my quality of life but I'm determined to make something positive out of it. I'm frail and I struggle to walk and I have little day to day enjoyment, I never know if I'll be spending the night in my own bed or in hospital. if I can reach just one person who is going through this, I'll rest easy. I've read every PDF on Hypophosphatemia, I've spoken to people who have tumor-induced phosphate problems but never anyone like me. At this stage, the doctors have given me two choices, a low dose of olanzapine to knock out the panic or CBT or a combination of both. I failed my first round of CBT in 2019, even after 30 plus sessions, I felt no better. I may have to take this pill and see how it works. Being a little "out of it" is better than electrolyte imbalances right? I think we would all agree on that. I hope I haven't scared you, I'm just telling you the honest truth of my struggle. I pray day and night that I'll be cured. Thank you for reading.