kate
28-10-07, 09:31
Towards the beginning of summer I was still seeing my counsellor and feeling so much better and more in control of my life.
We moved house in July, I was really looking forward to it. But, everything has gone downhill with me since then :lac:
We moved as I thought the area was going downhill, wasn't at all how it was when we first moved there. We have moved to a much nicer area, I feel totally safe here. There is plenty of countryside so I go for some lovely walks. BUT my anxiety is unreal.
I live closer to work now but, due to the traffic, it takes me longer to get there :mad: I get so on edge, slurping water and squirting Rescue Remedy. I'm a shaking wreck by the time I get there.
Work itself is lovely, I couldn't ask for a better job. But, it just doesn't pay enough so I'm having to look for another one, unfortunately.
We thought the garden was totally enclosed so that the cats couldn't get out the front. We live on a main road with fields over the road, the house is well set back. But, silly naive me didn't notice that if the cats go round next door they can get through to the front. Only one of the cats does this but he goes across the road to the bloody field and has nearly got knocked down on several occasions to my knowledge. I can't keep him in. He is 12 yrs old and has always been able to come and go as he chooses.
My son left school this year and is having a year out til Uni. He was working with my bro in law but, due to badly injuring his knee playing 5 a side, he had to give this up as it involved a lot of kneeling. He now sits around all day at home, hasn't even really tried to get another job.
He also finished with his girlfriend of nearly 3 years. I loved her, she was so nice and part of the family. I miss her sooo much.
I know the split was instigated by my son but he is being very secretive about the reasons. So, I don't feel I can contact her at all, it is so upsetting.
I've also got to take Hannah to the hospital on Wednesday for an assessment at the mental health unit as she is getting worse as well :ohmy:
I seem to have developed some all too time consuming checking actions as well. It is taking me ages to be able to leave the house in the mornings, and I need to leave at about 7.30am to get to work on time.
I just seem to be in an anxious state constantly. All the things I learnt from the counselling has flown out the window.
I wish constantly that I could turn back the clock and not move house. Looking back, I made out that we lived in a right hole of an area. But, it was just my anxiety that made me think it was so bad.
I'm also getting strange thoughts such as my kids aren't really mine, like I don't know them at all :ohmy: That I don't really live here and stuff like that.
I've been prescribed drugs but I haven't taken them. I'm not depressed just anxious and anti d's have never helped with the anxiety before.
Such a long post but does anyone else feel the same???
Kate
We moved house in July, I was really looking forward to it. But, everything has gone downhill with me since then :lac:
We moved as I thought the area was going downhill, wasn't at all how it was when we first moved there. We have moved to a much nicer area, I feel totally safe here. There is plenty of countryside so I go for some lovely walks. BUT my anxiety is unreal.
I live closer to work now but, due to the traffic, it takes me longer to get there :mad: I get so on edge, slurping water and squirting Rescue Remedy. I'm a shaking wreck by the time I get there.
Work itself is lovely, I couldn't ask for a better job. But, it just doesn't pay enough so I'm having to look for another one, unfortunately.
We thought the garden was totally enclosed so that the cats couldn't get out the front. We live on a main road with fields over the road, the house is well set back. But, silly naive me didn't notice that if the cats go round next door they can get through to the front. Only one of the cats does this but he goes across the road to the bloody field and has nearly got knocked down on several occasions to my knowledge. I can't keep him in. He is 12 yrs old and has always been able to come and go as he chooses.
My son left school this year and is having a year out til Uni. He was working with my bro in law but, due to badly injuring his knee playing 5 a side, he had to give this up as it involved a lot of kneeling. He now sits around all day at home, hasn't even really tried to get another job.
He also finished with his girlfriend of nearly 3 years. I loved her, she was so nice and part of the family. I miss her sooo much.
I know the split was instigated by my son but he is being very secretive about the reasons. So, I don't feel I can contact her at all, it is so upsetting.
I've also got to take Hannah to the hospital on Wednesday for an assessment at the mental health unit as she is getting worse as well :ohmy:
I seem to have developed some all too time consuming checking actions as well. It is taking me ages to be able to leave the house in the mornings, and I need to leave at about 7.30am to get to work on time.
I just seem to be in an anxious state constantly. All the things I learnt from the counselling has flown out the window.
I wish constantly that I could turn back the clock and not move house. Looking back, I made out that we lived in a right hole of an area. But, it was just my anxiety that made me think it was so bad.
I'm also getting strange thoughts such as my kids aren't really mine, like I don't know them at all :ohmy: That I don't really live here and stuff like that.
I've been prescribed drugs but I haven't taken them. I'm not depressed just anxious and anti d's have never helped with the anxiety before.
Such a long post but does anyone else feel the same???
Kate