Anxious...

[Raindrop]

Hey everyone,

This is my first post: it's taken a while for me to stop lurking and pluck up the courage to join in, but I thought being a part of this great community may make me feel like I wasn't fighting this alone.

I've always been generally anxious - like many, if I have a non-specific health symptom I always think something awful is wrong. I've suffered from Panic Attacks for yonks now, but have mostly ignored the issue, struggled by as best I can. I'm 19 now and have just started University; I find that being away from home, away from people who know me, love me despite my anxiety, and who will look after me if I'm ill is making my panic and anxiety much much worse. My anxiety always used to be stomach-related, whereas for the past three weeks I've felt like I cannot breathe. I feel like this every day, without fail (on and off). The doctors have done all the requisite tests, including panicking themselves slightly when they thought I might have a blood clot, before ruling that out. <sigh> I can't convince myself that it's anxiety, because it's so different to what I've coped with before. I've seen almost eight doctors now, including spending 72 hours in hospital - my worst nightmare. I don't know what to do, I feel like I've run out of options. Every day is dictated by my fear and I don't feel like I can deal with this "type" of anxiety. They can't put me on beta-blockers because of the concern that this is asthma, and the anti-anxiety drugs they put me on before didn't work.

I would so appreciate some reassurance... so many doctors and tests can't have missed anything, can they? And how can I go about tackling this in a pro-active way?

Thanks for listening, and thanks for the help this site has already given me!

[FAN]

hi welcome to the site im sure as you read through some of the posts you will feel reassured that nothing has been missed and that most on here have also felt the way you do so your not alone

fan x

[lainey]

Hi Raindrop

Welcome to the site, you will find lots of help and support here, and as Fan says you are not alone and many of us have felt like you including me.
Have you read First Steps by Meg on the home page, it's very good and very helpful.
Mr Panic attacks in allsorts of different ways and lerning not to be frightened of him is hard , but I promise you there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Take care

Elaine x

[Meg]

Hi Raindrop.

Welcome to the site .

It is horrible to feel scared and unwell away from home but Congratulations for going ...and still being there . Thats fantastic in itself.

Being aware of your breathing and being short of breath is so very common in anxiety as you already know. If you are anxious then your lungs expand in readiness for flight and fight so you're correct in thinking you may need to breathe deeper - not faster- to fill them.

Learning to control your breathing is important.

Maybe the time has come to decide that the docs are right and this is anxiety at work and not a new uncharted respiratory illness.

Decide that you will carry on with uni life regardless.

Things that may help include

Joining a Tai chi or yoga group. It will really help in teaching you correct breathing, relaxation and posture

Trusty rescue remedy neat or in water

sipping water

distraction

exercise - give you someting to really puff about .







Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance

[Karen]

Hi Raindrop

Welcome to the site. It is indeed good when you realise you are not alone and others have similar feelings and fears as you do.

I'm sure you will get a lot of help and support here.



Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[seh1980]

hello Raindrop,

Welcome to the site!! I look forward to getting to know you better.

Sarah :D

[JPF]

Hi Raindrop

Welcome aboard - I'm new too and it took me a while to pluck-up the courage to post - so well done. you've already taken a very positive first step! :)

Be reassured that you're not on your own, your symptoms and what you're experiencing are classic panic attack feelings! If you take on board the good advice already posted in this thread and spend some time looking at this forum and the main website you'll see what you're feeling is shared by many other people who also feel scared.

The best advice I can give you is accept that what you're feeling is panic and anxiety. That's what's making you feel the way you are and I'm sure 8 doctors can't have missed anything - exactly as you said. So, now you know what it is you can start trying to tackle it! These forums and the main website are a treasure trove of practical information and fellow sufferers, you can read a lot of shared experience here. When I came here I was convinced some of the things I was feeling were unique to me - no-one else could have the same sort of thoughts - I was wrong. Many other people had them too and that, though it's sad to think of other people being the same, was reassuring. Some people feel like they can't breathe, some feel like they're having a heart attack (that was my little gem too) and other people get chronic pains and all kinds of other things too... Panic and anxiety can have all kinds of effects on your body and worrying that you're ill in some other way is also a very common by-product of it too!

Have a good read here and start thinking that now you know why you're feeling the way you feel you can get some information and start trying to tackle it. There are many practical ideas (see the First Steps on the main website) but positive thinking really helps - you can beat this condition - it takes effort but it is achievable!

Well done for going away to college - that's a very brave and positive thing to do - feel good about yourself for doing that! Get as much information as you can and I'm sure you'll be on the road to feeling much better and having a whale of a time at uni :)

Good health and good luck to you

J

[nomorepanic]

Raindrop

Welcome aboard

I think we all want the doctors to find something wrong and then give us a pill that fixes it. It doesn't work that way with anxiety. When they "officially" diagnosed me it scared the hell out of me cos I thought "How on earth am I going to get over this". I thought I would be cured in a few months, that was 11 years ago. I am not saying that to scare you - my recovery was hindered by false disagnosis, then drugs then cbt and then years alone working out what on earth happened!

You are young and you are alone and scared.

The one thing that really helped me was exercise and a good diet. It was amazing results.

You also need to learn breathing techniques and relaxation.

We can help with all of these so let us know if you need more advice.

Good luck with the studies


Nicola

[jill]

Hi Raindrop

Just want to say welcome to the site.

TAKCE CARE


LOVE JILLXXX

[Raindrop]

Thank you all so much for your warm welcome and advice. Much appreciated. :D

I've decided to make a list of aims and objectives and stick it on my notice board to help me keep focussed on the things that will help. Doing things helps me forget my anxiety. Today, I feel less "despairing", more positive and empowered. I'm sure your messages have contributed to this.

[razocaine_07]

hi raindrop, im 20 and went through the uni thing, but only lasted 3 months because i felt really bad, i was on beta-blockers for about 18months and my anxiety is nearly all stomach related. What im trying to say is that you are definately not alone. Chin up

ps welcome to the site

[Raindrop]

I've been at Uni five months, started off fine, but then got gradually worse and worse. Got diagnosed with IBS, started getting migraines, yada yada. Felt like my body was falling apart (Hmm, me, irrational? No...) and then that's when the anxiety really kicked in. It's great to know I'm not alone. I sometimes think that if a situation is causing us so much panic/worry then it's simply not worth it. I hope you don't beat yourself up about leaving Uni, I've been considering it myself, but only because I think it's so important to do what's right for you so you can deal with the problems in the best, most healthy way. Who knows?

Does anyone have any info or webpages that deal with anti-anxiety drugs? I've been told no beta-blockers but I've read all these long drug names on various posts and thought, will they help and what are they? And is it generally thought wise to deal with anxiety with medication?

[Meg]

Check the medication page on this website.

Go to home on top tool bar and then choose from menu at the side. It is totally a matter of your choice.

No drugs cure anxiety but they can relieve the symptoms and help you feel better and give you a breathing space.




Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance

[jude]

Hi raindrop,

Welcome to the site. As everyone else has said we are all here for you.
I personally do not want to take medication. I want to know that I can get over this on my own. But that is just me. I know meds can help a lot of people in many ways. As Meg says, you may be able to find a type to suit you.
Take care and keep believing in yourself.

Jude x

[razocaine_07]

i dont beat myself up about it too much, i sometimes feel like i have been left behind a bit. I think i did what was best, financially and for my education. About the medication thing, its a matter of choice, talk to family to help you. Its not an easy decision to make. Good luck, keep us all posted

[clickaway]

Raindrop,

I too suffer from hyperventilation (uneven breathing) when I get more anxious than normal. Its like a second physical symptom that kicks in in my case.

Being at uni rather than home is bound to make you more anxious, especially at first. Your trusted lifelines are no longer to hand. But that's only in your mind.

My anxiety increases if I'm away from home for even one night. I stayed with my brother over Christmas and I got incredibly stressed, yet there was no reason to be. He has a calm house.
When I returned home, to live alone, my symptoms receded.
That's pretty irrational considering he was there for me all the time.

Its a psychological thing - I want to be in my usual safety zone, and that also relates to my bed at night!

Take care, we are all here for you.



Ray

[Meg]

We tend to like to be fully in control of our surroundings and that includes often being resistant to change in our lives - even if its for something nice !



Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance

[clickaway]

Yes, we need to be in control.

But when this anxiety and fear monster grabs us, we lose all control.

I suppose that's why we can 'fall-apart' so rapidly.

Ray