glassgirlw
14-11-20, 20:01
Most days I’m great at dealing with my anxiety. Other days...not so much. I don’t post much seeking reassurance, and I don’t think that’s what I’m really after here either. More just want to get it down on “paper” so to say.
Covid is on the rise in my county, and state - in a big way. Through most of this pandemic I’ve been able to keep the anxiety under control. Not much about my life has really changed, other than now we don’t go in shops or in restaurants to eat. Other than that I’m still going to work every day, wearing my mask out of the house, etc. But yesterday there were several press conferences live streamed on Facebook from our local health care departments and I did watch a couple of them because I trust those sources. Because the cases have skyrocketed, all of our ten large health systems in the area are significantly overwhelmed. To the point that they’re rescheduling non-emergent surgeries, etc. And it’s not just due to Covid of course, people are hospitalized for other reasons. But Covid is definitely putting a strain on things.
so I went to bed, slept “alright” I guess - I’m not the worlds best sleeper anyway. But today starting about 9 am I started having those occasional “skipped beats” - no other symptoms, only skipping some beats now and again. I’ve had them before, I know they’re harmless, logically I tell myself to not worry about them. But I think in the back of my mind, knowing our hospitals are overwhelmed and full of sick people...the “what if” game starts to play in my head. What if this is it and I need to go to the hospital and there’s no room. What if I go to the hospital and there is room, but what if I catch Covid while I’m there. What if I go, they have room, but then I lay there for two hours waiting to be cleared and then I’ve taken up space from someone else that may have needed it more. It’s just so frustrating.
thanks for letting me vent lol. I suppose these will stop eventually and I can go back to managing as I have been. Am going to try some more deep breathing and maybe try to distract myself with a movie or something.
Covid is on the rise in my county, and state - in a big way. Through most of this pandemic I’ve been able to keep the anxiety under control. Not much about my life has really changed, other than now we don’t go in shops or in restaurants to eat. Other than that I’m still going to work every day, wearing my mask out of the house, etc. But yesterday there were several press conferences live streamed on Facebook from our local health care departments and I did watch a couple of them because I trust those sources. Because the cases have skyrocketed, all of our ten large health systems in the area are significantly overwhelmed. To the point that they’re rescheduling non-emergent surgeries, etc. And it’s not just due to Covid of course, people are hospitalized for other reasons. But Covid is definitely putting a strain on things.
so I went to bed, slept “alright” I guess - I’m not the worlds best sleeper anyway. But today starting about 9 am I started having those occasional “skipped beats” - no other symptoms, only skipping some beats now and again. I’ve had them before, I know they’re harmless, logically I tell myself to not worry about them. But I think in the back of my mind, knowing our hospitals are overwhelmed and full of sick people...the “what if” game starts to play in my head. What if this is it and I need to go to the hospital and there’s no room. What if I go to the hospital and there is room, but what if I catch Covid while I’m there. What if I go, they have room, but then I lay there for two hours waiting to be cleared and then I’ve taken up space from someone else that may have needed it more. It’s just so frustrating.
thanks for letting me vent lol. I suppose these will stop eventually and I can go back to managing as I have been. Am going to try some more deep breathing and maybe try to distract myself with a movie or something.