joannap
29-10-07, 11:45
my name is joanna and i have just posted my 1st post! i have suffered from panic/anxiety/ocd for about 10 years now since i was 22. i have taken v short courses of anti depressants in the past - prozac/citalopram/lustral and then lustral for the past 4 years which (touchwood) have always worked for me but as soon as i have felt better i have stopped them. i feel it is a stress thing for me - i need to recognise my limitations and not pile stress on myself as this builds up the symptoms until they result in a kind of mini breakdown.
the latest one (began 3 weeks ago) was when i had come off my antidepressants (stupidly) when i was going through a terrible time helping to look after my grandma, starting a new job and our dog having pups. i managed to pull myself out of 2 setbacks with acceptance alone but the third one walloped me - happened on holiday which was even worse! - and i then spent the next week in a state of literal terror - could not eat, cried all the time, felt like there was no hope etc. i resisted going back on a'd's but have now started citalopram 20mg - been on it for 9 days and CANNOT sleep which is making me feel pretty grim. the actual panic attacks have stopped and i am calmer but feel that is down to me accepting it and breathing deeply when i feel anxious.
my main symptoms are anxiety and intrusive thoughts - thoughts of harming others, abusing kids (not nice but i tell myself the real child abusers would not be posting on here!), hurting my pets (why are nice thoughts never involved?!) and wierd thoughts about pollution, how things are made etc - its almost as if i have become responsible for the way the world is and all its problems overnight! one thing that does help me is that if i get these thoughts - if i breathe through the anxiety - 20 mins later i can see them for the irrational thoughts they really are. its almost as if our minds get so tired we cannot banish them overnight and so i suppose we have to let them be there for the time being.
anway - its such a relief to know that others are going through similar experiences. jo x
the latest one (began 3 weeks ago) was when i had come off my antidepressants (stupidly) when i was going through a terrible time helping to look after my grandma, starting a new job and our dog having pups. i managed to pull myself out of 2 setbacks with acceptance alone but the third one walloped me - happened on holiday which was even worse! - and i then spent the next week in a state of literal terror - could not eat, cried all the time, felt like there was no hope etc. i resisted going back on a'd's but have now started citalopram 20mg - been on it for 9 days and CANNOT sleep which is making me feel pretty grim. the actual panic attacks have stopped and i am calmer but feel that is down to me accepting it and breathing deeply when i feel anxious.
my main symptoms are anxiety and intrusive thoughts - thoughts of harming others, abusing kids (not nice but i tell myself the real child abusers would not be posting on here!), hurting my pets (why are nice thoughts never involved?!) and wierd thoughts about pollution, how things are made etc - its almost as if i have become responsible for the way the world is and all its problems overnight! one thing that does help me is that if i get these thoughts - if i breathe through the anxiety - 20 mins later i can see them for the irrational thoughts they really are. its almost as if our minds get so tired we cannot banish them overnight and so i suppose we have to let them be there for the time being.
anway - its such a relief to know that others are going through similar experiences. jo x