Wearing a mask at school caused me to have a panic attack

[Liam2021]

Hi i am Liam, a 15 year old boy from the UK. At school we have to wear a Mask when moving around the corridors and sometimes even during a lesson. I have had a hard time with masks, i don't like them and i find that i can't breath in them and yesterday at school i had a panic attack while wearing the mask, i have had a few already but this one was worse then before. I had to take the mask off. Anyway i was seen by a teacher and questioned about why i wasn't wearing a mask, i explained because i can't breath in them and that i had a panic attack, the teacher took me to see the head teacher and i was given 2 weeks on detention as a punishment for taking the mask off. I tried to explain again about why i took the mask off but the head teacher just wouldn't even listen and said that taking the mask off is punishable and i have to do 2 weeks detention and that's it.

Why i'm making this post is to ask for any advice, how can i deal with this problem? i really find it distressing and what happens next time i have a panic attack? if i take my mask off again i'll probably get another bunch of detentions. I don't think its fair, i have a genuine problem with the mask but no one offers any support, instead i am just punished

Also when i told my mum about it she wasn't even very supportive either and she told me that she hopes i'll learn a lesson from being on detention for 2 weeks and she lectured me about how important it is to wear a mask! i feel depressed and anxious, i wish we could go back to how life was before covid.

[ankietyjoe]

Hi Liam.

Sorry to hear you're struggling like this, and this is a tough one for sure.

First of all, do you have any support in dealing with your anxiety in general? I feel that the mask is just a trigger for anxiety for an underlying anxiety that was already there?

You're right to feel unfairly treated, as all though masks do need to be mandatory at the moment, you do still need support if you're struggling with the situation.

Does the school have a counsellor you could speak to, or are there any other teachers you feel might offer you a bit more support and perhaps act as a bit of an ally at school?

[Liam2021]

Hi Liam.

Sorry to hear you're struggling like this, and this is a tough one for sure.

First of all, do you have any support in dealing with your anxiety in general? I feel that the mask is just a trigger for anxiety for an underlying anxiety that was already there?

You're right to feel unfairly treated, as all though masks do need to be mandatory at the moment, you do still need support if you're struggling with the situation.

Does the school have a counsellor you could speak to, or are there any other teachers you feel might offer you a bit more support and perhaps act as a bit of an ally at school?

Hi, thank you for the reply. i don't have any support, i told my mum but she has not been very supportive. My mum is a single parent because my dad is not around. I have two sisters but they only tease me, they do not help.

I already had anxiety and i have had panic attacks in the past, usually when i am worried about school work and exams, i struggle with maths a lot. My mum puts pressure on me to do well and she says she is disappointed when i do badly and i get grounded when i don't do well at school.

The school does have a support teacher, i went to see her once and maybe i should go again to see her. Getting detention i guess is what i deserved for breaking rules but it doesn't help me with the anxiety, it doesn't solve the problem, i am worried it might happen again.

[ankietyjoe]

Hi, thank you for the reply. i don't have any support, i told my mum but she has not been very supportive. My mum is a single parent because my dad is not around. I have two sisters but they only tease me, they do not help.



Sounds like you don't have a lot of support at home at all. Is your Mum supportive in other areas of your life? Being a single parent is stressful for sure, but she still needs to be a Mum.




I already had anxiety and i have had panic attacks in the past, usually when i am worried about school work and exams, i struggle with maths a lot. My mum puts pressure on me to do well and she says she is disappointed when i do badly and i get grounded when i don't do well at school.



Ok, well the source of your anxiety is pretty clear. It's almost always caused by stress, and that's what you're under...stress.




The school does have a support teacher, i went to see her once and maybe i should go again to see her. Getting detention i guess is what i deserved for breaking rules but it doesn't help me with the anxiety, it doesn't solve the problem, i am worried it might happen again.

I think the support teacher is your first port of call. You need at least one person that you can confide in, and it's possibly worth talking about the pressure you're under at home to do well at school too.

I would agree that rules need to be adhered to, but I don't think this is a situation where you 'deserve' to be punished, especially when you're not being listened to.

Something I'd like you to try and understand now though is that panic attacks are not dangerous. They feel terrible, but they're just a sensation that can be dealt with and reduced. It's completely normal for you to want to avoid them and worry about having another one, but it's a good idea now to at least accept the idea that even if one does happen, it won't harm you.

You can get a lot of good advice from people here too, so try not to feel too alone in the short term. It's very common!

[Liam2021]

Sounds like you don't have a lot of support at home at all. Is your Mum supportive in other areas of your life? Being a single parent is stressful for sure, but she still needs to be a Mum.



Well my mum tries her best and she can be really supportive sometimes. But the thing is that she is very strict with me, more strict than she is with my sisters. I guess because i'm a boy she is stricter, i don't know why.


Ok, well the source of your anxiety is pretty clear. It's almost always caused by stress, and that's what you're under...stress.


i don't like school, i really try but i hate it. I try hard to do well but i fall behind and i know that my mum will get mad when i fail and the pressure gets to me and i admit i get very stressed. I like playing football and swimming it helps me to feel less stressed. But when i'm grounded she stops me doing it and lately i can't use the swimming pool because its closed.


I think the support teacher is your first port of call. You need at least one person that you can confide in, and it's possibly worth talking about the pressure you're under at home to do well at school too.

i will go and ask her for an appointment

I would agree that rules need to be adhered to, but I don't think this is a situation where you 'deserve' to be punished, especially when you're not being listened to.

i thought this too, it seemed to me like no one listened and it wasn't fair. But what the teacher and the headmaster both said was that i broke the rules and that was all they were bothered about and when i tried to complain i was told i just have to accept the detentions and learn a lesson from it.

Something I'd like you to try and understand now though is that panic attacks are not dangerous. They feel terrible, but they're just a sensation that can be dealt with and reduced. It's completely normal for you to want to avoid them and worry about having another one, but it's a good idea now to at least accept the idea that even if one does happen, it won't harm you.

You can get a lot of good advice from people here too, so try not to feel too alone in the short term. It's very common!

Thank you i am already glad i came here. Yes i know its true that they are not dangerous even though they are unpleasant and scary. I had chest pains, it makes you think if you're about to have a heart attack but its not true.

[ankietyjoe]

Well it's possible your Mum see's intelligence in you. Even in the brief posts you've made here you come across as very intelligent, and she might just want the best for you. Just a guess, it's just a possibility.

If it makes you feel any better, I hated school too! So again, you're not alone there!

See what the support teacher says tomorrow, but in the meantime at least you know there's a resource here to help you deal with the anxiety long term too. You're in a very awkward position here of being close enough to being a 'grown up' that you can rationalise and assess certain situations in your life, but still young enough to have no real control over a lot of the situations. I feel this might what you need to try and deal with first with the help of the support teacher if she's able to. I hope she can.

[Liam2021]

Thank you very much. Well i am good at English, i am in the top set for that. I'm also good at Art.

I do sort of find it hard sometimes knowing that i still have to do what i'm told at school and from my mum. I know i'm still only 15 and i don't have full control of my life yet but sometimes i really hate it. I wish i was 18 already at times but then i know its bad to wish your life away. when i am 18 i will probably wish i was 15 again ha.

[ankietyjoe]

Haha, you are wise!

All you can do is take it one day at a time.

Let us know how it goes tomorrow. Good luck.

[pulisa]

Liam, I'm so sorry you are under such stress and I do hope the support teacher was helpful and supportive and understood just how distressed you are about the mask situation and about the general pressure you are under at home as well. I wonder whether your Mum is actually aware of just how badly your anxiety affects you? Does she understand how too much pressure and expectation can make anxiety far worse?

You seem to me to be a very mature and insightful 15 year old who is dealing with a hell of a lot of fear and pressure. Surely school will be able to come to some sort of a compromise with the mask issue? Especially as adults appear to get away with not wearing a mask pretty easily.

You are being punished for something which is beyond your control. You need help and support not detention in my opinion. I really hope you can make yourself heard at school and a t home and please let us know how you get on today?

[Liam2021]

Liam, I'm so sorry you are under such stress and I do hope the support teacher was helpful and supportive and understood just how distressed you are about the mask situation and about the general pressure you are under at home as well. I wonder whether your Mum is actually aware of just how badly your anxiety affects you? Does she understand how too much pressure and expectation can make anxiety far worse?

You seem to me to be a very mature and insightful 15 year old who is dealing with a hell of a lot of fear and pressure. Surely school will be able to come to some sort of a compromise with the mask issue? Especially as adults appear to get away with not wearing a mask pretty easily.

You are being punished for something which is beyond your control. You need help and support not detention in my opinion. I really hope you can make yourself heard at school and a t home and please let us know how you get on today?

Thank you very much:hugs:

I saw the support teacher today, she was nice and she said i could maybe be exempt from wearing a mask and have a lanyard, but she encouraged me to try some tips to deal with anxiety, she showed me a few breathing exercises, i didn't have a mask on so its easier to breath without one anyway ha. She also said some of the same things you guys said that the anxiety is not just about masks, that masks may be one trigger but there are other issues like school work and dealing with my mum. She is going to call my mum next week to talk to her about it. She also said she doesn't think i should really be on detention for this but she hasn't the authority to question the head masters decisions. I also started the detentions this week.

[FrankT]

Do they allow face shields?

[NoraB]

I struggled with the face mask to start with - it triggered my nocturnal panic attacks. I just kept experimenting with different ones until I settled on what that I could tolerate. I also put a few drops of essential oil on them so I'm getting some therapy while I'm wearing them. Lavender to keep me calm and ginger when I feel sick. :yesyes:

[pulisa]

Thank you very much:hugs:

I saw the support teacher today, she was nice and she said i could maybe be exempt from wearing a mask and have a lanyard, but she encouraged me to try some tips to deal with anxiety, she showed me a few breathing exercises, i didn't have a mask on so its easier to breath without one anyway ha. She also said some of the same things you guys said that the anxiety is not just about masks, that masks may be one trigger but there are other issues like school work and dealing with my mum. She is going to call my mum next week to talk to her about it. She also said she doesn't think i should really be on detention for this but she hasn't the authority to question the head masters decisions. I also started the detentions this week.

The support teacher sounds very kind and empathetic and if she can get your Mum on board with your anxiety in general and how she could help you by not putting too much pressure on you then this would be a start. She may not know just how much she is contributing to your anxiety and this could be a breakthrough moment. I really hope so. The mask issue has brought it all to the surface in my opinion. At least now there will be communication between home and school and you have the support teacher on your side and helping you.

[ankietyjoe]

Thank you very much:hugs:

I saw the support teacher today, she was nice and she said i could maybe be exempt from wearing a mask and have a lanyard, but she encouraged me to try some tips to deal with anxiety, she showed me a few breathing exercises, i didn't have a mask on so its easier to breath without one anyway ha. She also said some of the same things you guys said that the anxiety is not just about masks, that masks may be one trigger but there are other issues like school work and dealing with my mum. She is going to call my mum next week to talk to her about it. She also said she doesn't think i should really be on detention for this but she hasn't the authority to question the head masters decisions. I also started the detentions this week.

Well done for taking the first step.

I was going to suggest wearing the masks at home to get used to them if you can. Anxiety aside, they're still a good idea right now. If you can't, no biggie.

Dealing with the underlying anxiety has to be priority I think. It's not hard to find ways to deal with it, it just requires a bit of lateral thinking as the solution is often the opposite of what you think you want to do.