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Hannah Banana
04-02-05, 18:51
Despite knowing lots of people who do and who continue to have depression, i find it very difficult to say back to them that i'm depressed and am on anti-depressants. Only my girlfreind knows (and is very supportive).

How do you tell people?

seh1980
04-02-05, 19:27
hello there,

I think that the main reson that we don't like telling people about our problems is that we think that there is something 'wrong' with us and we are ashamed. maybe as soon as we realise that we have nothing to hide, we will feel more comfortable talking about it...

Sarah :D

JPF
04-02-05, 19:37
Hi Hannah Banana

There is a perceived stigma with any mental conditions which I think dates back to the old Victorian (and earlier) 'pay a penny and visit the asylum' kind of attitude.. definitely a legacy of the bad old days..

When people are ill they're ill and really depression is no more shameful than say having asthma - it's just a condition caused by something behaving other than it should do in your body and causing complications...

I think we're starting to make progress with people's attitudes towards things like this.. for whatever my opinion's worth, maybe tell only your close friends, or people you trust and start from there..? I've been suffering from panic attacks and I've told some people about it and not others.. I think people who haven't suffered with depression or anxiety have a hard time understanding it, unless they've seen family members suffering too (my family has quite a few depressives in it) but I think general acceptance of the problem is getting better, gradually..

Remember, you have nothing to be ashamed about - it's not a weakness, it's not a character flaw any more than being colour blind or a million and one other conditions which make us who we are - individuals all :)

Good luck and good health

J

vernon
04-02-05, 20:33
hi, welcome to the site. I think its like JP says. I used to be ashamed to talk about it or admit it at one time but it doesnt bother me anymore if people cant accept me for what i am i dont need them. good luck, Vernon

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.

razocaine_07
04-02-05, 22:26
hi, the reason why i think people hold back is the stigma attached to mental illness and everything that revolves around it. People can pass judgement far too easily sometimes. I only tell people i trust and there are some things that i will always keep to myself. Remember though, a problem shared is a problem halved

Tracy68
05-02-05, 20:15
Hi
I remember when i suffered with depression the only person who knew was my ex husband. I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone because I thought they would think i was a failure. How wrong i was. When i did tell my friends i was so amazed at the support they gave me. Maybe just try telling a close friend to start with. I think you will be surprised at the outcome.
Take care
Tracy
x

FAN
05-02-05, 20:57
i have the same problem which is probably silly as i get no support from anyone but i think because you cant see depression people cant understand it...........if it brought us out in big red blotches or something maybe people might understand more

fan x

stimpy
06-02-05, 02:02
Fan is right there.

Just because we aren't polka dot covered, it doesn't mean we don't have problems.

Depression and depression related disorders are more common than you might think. At one time or another 1 out of 3 people have suffered at sometime in their lives.

I find unless people ask me, I tell them very little.

Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx
With hard work and determination and all the things you know.
The world is there for you to take. There's nowhere you can't go.


[:p]Scatty Eccentric & 'Poet Laureate to panic and anxiety'

carlin
07-02-05, 15:44
Hi there, i have suffered with anxiety and other related problems for over sixteen years now, in the beginning i tended to keep things to myself, over the years i have found that by explaining (briefly at first), people tend to be understanding and supportive. i try not to dwell on it, but i have had so many 'situations' that a small explanation as to why i need to sit in the aise on the airplane or in the school hall, and why i find it easier near the door does help. None of us have anything whatsoever to be ashamed of and i have found that peoples attitudes have changed over the years, for the better, i might add good luck

Hannah Banana
07-02-05, 19:15
Thanks all for your replies. I think many of you are right in saying that feeling ashamed has a lot to do with not telling people. The thought of being asked 'Why are you down?' just send shivers down my spine. It's often as though there's a physical barrior to saying 'i'm depressed', words often escape me, even with close freinds. I often get very anxious when i have an opportunity to talk about my depression, that when i stop trying and keep it in, i feel better and less anxious.

I often just don't know who to speak to. My partner is very supportive but finds it very hard to cope with a lot of the stuff i say, i also would'nt expect her to take it all on her shoulders. i have a lot of self destructive thoughts which i really want to vent somehow and have often gone to her for support, understandably so, she finds it very hard to listen too.

Sorry people, for off loading.

Thanks for listening (reading).

razocaine_07
01-03-05, 13:45
hi banana, the first thing isnt to be ashamed, depression and the use of anti-depressants is commonplace in society these days. Unfortanetly i have seen the way people percieve mental conditions first hand and they way you can be treated like a 'fruit loop' as i call it. Anyway, i talk to my g/f and close family about when i need help and how i feel each day, a problem shared is a problem halved

davidr
09-03-05, 14:10
Hi hannah Banana,

I am sorry to hear of your battle with depression. I have struggled with depression in various forms for most of my life and can relate to how diificult this is to communicate to others.

In the very dark days I actively sought not to communicate full stop, sleeping and spending time alone as much as possible. As I feel better now and I am able to look back with perspective. I understand just how closed I was to others and any attempts at help. I was just not in a receptive state to want to talk about my feelings etc and to all intents and purposes unreachable. It did not matter to me if anyone understood or even wanted to understand I was so deeply involved in my own self.

I would therefore say that your wish to communicate how you feel and your need to have reaffirmation from others that it is OK to be depressed is a very good sign that you are recovering and that your medication is helping you as this was the start for me on the road to recovery. Peoples peception of you at this stage is important as you are trying to rebuild and remodel a brighter less depressed self and you are vunerable to others opinion as there are still issues of worthiness and acceptance running around your brain as you try to feel more 'normal'.

If you are seeing a psychiatrist or behavioural therapist I am sure they will guide you through this and point out the various stages of depressive illness and help you adapt to each as they emerge. Good luck and although when you are depressed it is difficult to love things, try and love yourself and give thanks for a supporting partner, I could not have come through my problems without her.