I just need to talk

[jude]

Hello everyone,

I didnt know where to put this post. I just need to moan about my illness and my life in general. Please dont read it if its gonna put you on a downer.

I am a mum to four children and wife to Stewart. Stewart broke his back in a motorbike accident 15 years ago. He is now paralized and in a wheelchair.
My eldest three children are from my first, violent marriage. My ex husband was arrested for assaulting my eldest during an access visit, so they have no contact with him.
My youngest daughter from this marriage was born 13 weeks early. She weighted 1lb 14 oz at birth and was ill for a long time.

I just dont get time to relax. I wake up in the morning feeling 'unreal' with everything going on around me and cant think straight. How am i supposed to stay calm in this situation. I dont even feel like Im 'here',
I cant go to work because I have to care for my hubby, my life is full of dreading my next walk to school or shopping trip.
My parents and sisters/brothers all live 2 hours drive away and I rarely see them.
I have no friends to talk to. Im fed up of it all.

Sorry, Iv finished now. I just needed to get things off my chest.

Thanks all for listening. xx
Jude

[kate]

Hi Jude,

I can well understand where your depression has come from. You have dealt with so much, both in the past and at the present time.

Are there any day centres that your husband can attend, if only for half a day a week? This would at least give you some "me" time, which everybody needs if only to sit and relax doing absolutely nothing.

Do you ever get talking with the other mothers at the school? Is there anyone there that you feel comfortable enough with to approach and invite her round for a cuppa?

Just a few thoughts anyway!

Love Kate x

[razocaine_07]

Hi Jude, my mum had a rough time around the birthday of her children and was extremely ill for a long time. When she tells me about the past around me and my sisters birth, she always says that if it wasnt for people to talk to, just about gossip, it would have made things alot tougher. I'd go with what kate said about the "me" time and maybe finding a mothers group if you were comfortable with that.

[JPF]

Hi Jude

Just to second everything Kate and Razocaine have said - you're shouldering a huge number of burdens and I'm not suprised to read you're feeling how you feel - I think a lot of people (including myself) would really struggle to cope and do what you've done.

Can you not get some time to yourself, like Kate suggests? You definitely need to spend some time for you and try to build in some relaxation time to try to heal yourself.

FWIW I think you're doing brilliantly, yes, you're having struggles but a lot of other people would have caved-in. You haven't, so be proud of that fact!

Like Kate says making friends with fellow parents would be a very good idea and remember you have a lot of understanding and experienced people here ready to listen to you too and that's a sustaining thought.

Don't give up, you're doing very well and remember where we all are.

All the best

J

[seh1980]

hi Jude,

I don't think I could ever have coped with all you have been through!! It is no wonder that you feel fed up woth it all. It seems to be that the worst bit is behind you and now all you have to do is try to find a couple times a week where you can just relax and forget about your worries...

Sarah :D

[razocaine_07]

if you really couldnt face going to find a group of mothers/friends to talk about your problems face to face then im sure you could find a few people on here that you could talk to if u had a messenger service ( MSN, Yahoo etc. ) that way its more private

[trac67]

Hi Jude,
Sorry to hear how you are feeling, i can really sympathise with you, i have 3 children and just come out of an unhappy second marriage and i also care for my dad who has suffered two strokes. I walk around alot as if i am not on this planet ( alot of people would say im not though ) lol, but i try to look on the positive side of things. You are doing a really good job with caring for your husband and children and have to tell yourself each day what a good person you are. I also dread having to walk to school or go to the supermarket, but when i push myself and do it i am always really proud of myself, and then i think to myself see i can do it.
Everyone is here to listen to you let off steam when you need to.
Take Care
Trace:D

[Tracy68]

Hi Jude
Don't be saying sorry for getting things off your chest, thats what the site is for and for us to try and help you through everything. Sounds to me as though you've been dealing with so much for so long that its now come to head, which is why you're feeling this way. You just carry on getting everything off your chest and we'll be here to listen and help if we can. (((big hug)))
Tracy
x

[clickaway]

Sometimes there is some kind of help out there you can tap into, which is not well publicised.

I'm lucky that my village has recently started up a Care group. They offer services like visiting if you feel you need a general chat to a 'real' person.

Does your town have an advice centre, giving details of any groups that could help you. If not, try the library for information, or even your local council who may give out grants to local support organisations and so would know that way.

Don't forget the helplines you can call on. No Panic, First Steps to Freedom and of course The Samaritans. They are there to listen to you.

Ray

[FAN]

hi jude the good thing about this site is that you can post the bad things your feeling and it helps get it off your chest and someone will always help out with advice or will have felt exactly the way you do so it helps to know your not alone hope it helps you feel better

fan x

[jude]

Thank you everyone for listening and most importantly, understanding. I feel like Im gonna burst sometimes, I get so frustrated.
These horrid feelings have got to go away at some time, but its lovely to know you are all out there for me at my worst points.
Jude x

[jill]

Hi Jude

My heart goes out to you, you have been through soooo much.
Please don't think that you are moaning because you are not.
This is the place to let off steam. Sometimes it helps to tell people
who understand how you feel.
We are all here for you.

TAKE CARE

THINKING OF YOU

LOVE JILLXX


May your troubles be less
and your blessings be more
and nothing but happiness
come through your door.