Family stress with pandemic

[Sunflower318]

My husband is laid off and we are enjoying our little safe bubble
None of have anywhere to go except errands. We are in a small town so they are relatively safe. We didn't go anywhere for Thanksgiving. My parents are basically telling me I'm a horrible daughter and mother because I dont want to go over to her house at all. The gifts she got for my kids just aren't that important right now. She says I'm ruining christmas and being mean to my kids and ruining it for them.
Cases in my area are spiking like crazy and I dont feel the risk of mingling with my family is worth it. Im really stressing and feeling like a pile of poo over this. Im being attacked over following the rules. Even Dr. Fauci said to stay home. But my parents don't care.
I occasionally get heart pulps. My cardiologist says its no big deal but with all the news about the effects of the virus on the organs and heart it makes me wonder if I got covid if it would make it worse. That thought alone gives me more anxiety.
I couldn't sleep last night because I just kept thinking about what my mother is saying. My 11 year old understands what a crap sandwich this all is and shes not terribly upset about staying home. The other is a toddler and has no idea hes even missing anything

[Fishmanpa]

These are divisive times at best and its no wonder its affecting families, especially with differing opinions politically and concerning the seriousness of the COVID situation. My wife and I are in a small town as well and like you, cases are spiking. Family all are several states away so we all met via Zoom on Thanksgiving and we plan on doing so again for Christmas and New Year. We're fortunate that we're all on the same page concerning COVID and the CDC guidelines as well as politically.

The kids can still get their gifts. Have your parents drop them off and you can do a Zoom call or facetime on Christmas morning. Don't feel bad for doing the right thing fir yourself and your family. Keep your parents in positive thoughts as well.

Positive thoughts

[Sunflower318]

My mother is very selfish and she never gets told no. So me telling her no she can't have her way has sent a fracture down the family tree. Its insane how big they make this

[Fishmanpa]

Its insane how big they make this

Family or not, these times have exposed people for what they truly are. Growing up, my family was divisive as well and frankly, I divorced myself from the drama when I was a young adult. And yes, it truly is insane how big a deal people make of things, especially when facts and little things like science point to reality.

I get that it upsets you but your husband and children are your 1st priority. Your Mom is just going to have to deal with it, like it or not :shrug: And if something so petty and simple causes a fracture that won't heal, then so be it.

Positive thoughts

[Sunflower318]

Thats the point I'm at. I get she misses the kids since she used to see them all the time before this. But she shouldn't be this selfish over this.

[Pamplemousse]

My mother is very selfish and she never gets told no. So me telling her no she can't have her way has sent a fracture down the family tree. Its insane how big they make this
My niece - a psychologist - recommended this book to me.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/43306206-the-courage-to-be-disliked

[NoraB]

She says I'm ruining christmas and being mean to my kids and ruining it for them.

Your mother is being mean to her child.


Im being attacked over following the rules. Even Dr. Fauci said to stay home. But my parents don't care.

You're not responsible for what your parents do and say. Your little family comes first. Your parents will just have to suck it up.


I couldn't sleep last night because I just kept thinking about what my mother is saying. My 11 year old understands what a crap sandwich this all is and shes not terribly upset about staying home. The other is a toddler and has no idea hes even missing anything

Crap sandwich? I'm stealing that one! :yesyes:

I would be MORTIFIED if I knew I was causing my lads this kind of stress! Shame on your parents, I say!

You must do what is right for you and your little family. That's all any of us can do.