View Full Version : Loss of appetite
Hi there everyone. I have experienced for the past ten days or so a loss of appetite that seems to has come out of nowhere. I haven't been ill and my anxiety hasn't been higher than normal (I've had loss of appetite with extreme anxiety before). Work has been stressful but I'm finished for Christmas now and things have not improved. I can eat but I'm never hungry and even foods I normally love I just have zero interest in. I'm pretty worried that I have cancer. I had blood tests that were normal but that was back in August. I'm wondering should I go for more? Has anyone ever experienced this with no apparent trigger and it's resolved on its own? I honestly feel like if I didn't make myself eat I could literally go for days without food.
Hi Cattia, i’m exactly the same been like it for past few weeks. Never feel particularly hungry, sometimes just the mention of food can make me feel nauseous. I do suffer from HA & have been quite bad with it over the past few months, but i do worry about this loss of appetite, normally at christmas i’m tucking into the quality street by now but haven’t even opened them yet.
Sorry i can’t be of more help but i do know how you’re feeling. Take care.
Thanks Redsmum, I'm sorry you're going through the same thing. Yesterday evening I felt peckish but today I'm back to not wanting anything. My weight is on the low side anyway and I have a real fear of weight loss so this definitely isn't helping. Most people are worried about putting on weight over the Christmas season but I'm just worried about losing it. I hope your anxiety improves soon for you.
Jumping on here again because my appetite still isn't back, it's been two weeks now. I have started up with a pain in my upper left abdomen right under my rub cage about level with my bra line so now I'm worried about pancreatic cancer or spleen pain which could mean some other cancer. Cancer is mu biggest fear. I've been so wrong out with this and I know I'm in a bad spiral but don't know how to make it stop. Km also super run down right now with a sore throat and feeling really under the weather.
Hi cattia, I know we've been chatting a bit on my other thread, but i just wanted to reiterate that reading the posts here, it really sounds like you're just too stressed to focus on eating. I'm the same way when I get very anxious and I can lose weight quite quickly in those situations. Actually, I was worrying about my esophagus stuff earlier and couldn't be bothered to eat at all. That said, I actually forced myself to do something to distract myself from the constant anxiety, and lo and behold, I started feeling hungry again and had a meal. Maybe you could try some distractions and see how that goes?
Hi there everyone. I have experienced for the past ten days or so a loss of appetite that seems to has come out of nowhere.
Brain tumour
Bowel issues
Blood blister
Discharge
Bladder cancer
Blood test fears
These are your threads from this year alone.
In your most recent comments, you are 'freaking out' about pancreatic cancer.
This implies that your HA is currently running at 'high' - which will affect your appetite, and this normal response to stress is HA fodder in itself.
Hi Cattia, i’m in a real bad place myself at the moment. Had been taking ibruprofen & paracetamol as advised by walk in clinic for severe muscle pain in groin & thigh. I don’t know if they have made me ill but i’ve stopped taking them now. I just feel so generally unwell, can’t describe it any other way, still no appetite, constipated although not as bad as i was, stomach pains, aching all over body, all i want to do is lay down & thats just not like me, no interest in anything. I too am on the light side so definitely don’t want to lose any weight.
I’m going to give it one more day & tomorrow if i don’t feel any better i’m going to phone 111 & see what they say. Sorry to be such a misery. Take care & hope you feel better today.
Thanks for the replies, I really appreciate people taking the time to talk to me. It helps a lot! Hypomania, I think you’re right about the anxiety taking my appetite away. Last night when I was feeling more relaxed I felt hungry again but this morning my anxiety has been really bad again and I have only just managed to force myself to eat something small even though it’s lunch time here.
NoraB, it’s honestly embarrassing reading all the things I’ve posted about. I actually was thinking a few weeks ago that this is a high risk time for me. I have a very busy and stressful job which I enjoy but it takes a lot out of me. I run on adrenaline a lot and often when I stop for the holidays, my anxiety suddenly hits. The trouble is even though I see myself in the same pattern as I’ve been in before, I can never break the cycle of ‘this time I’m right’. I always think I’ll be able to but when it comes to it, I just can’t. I feel like I can’t leave things to see how they turn out because I am so worried about dying and leaving my kids. I’m so sick of being in this same cycle time after time.
Redsmum, I’m really sorry you’re having a hard time too. I totally relate to how you feel. When my anxiety is bad I feel the same way. I feel so exhausted and unwell and just don’t want to do anything or even talk to anyone. Normally I have a lot of energy so it’s not like me either.
I read something yesterday about floating stools being a sign of pancreatic cancer, and then this morning I noticed that my stool is floating. Maybe they always have, I don’t know as I’ve never focused on that aspect of them before, but it’s freaking me out so badly. They have also regularly had mucous in them lately so I was also obsessing about that but this has really sent me into overdrive. I think I will contact my Dr tomorrow (we now have to contact them using an online form) and see if they can suggest anything. I feel like I’m going to be back in that loop of waiting ages for tests, getting more and more anxious and just not being able to find a way out of it.
I also still have the pain under my left rib. It’s noticeable when I drink cold liquids, not when I eat or drink hot stuff. I am 43 so I know that I’m getting to the age where things like pancreatic cancer are more likely. Also I have read too much stuff about people starting out with mild symptoms or ones that come and go and then by the time they get diagnosed it’s too late. I hate that Ive read this stuff but my mind feels weak and I can’t seem to stop myself, like an alcoholic reaching for a drink even though they know it’s the worst possible idea. Just that lure of reassurance is too tempting, even though I know from experience that it always has the opposite effect anyway.
Cattia, I believe you said that you were a senior teacher so I expect term time has given you multiple challenges with covid and also plenty of alternative worries to take your mind away from your own HA? So when term ends you have unstructured time to fill and unlimited access to Dr Google and other health websites which satisfy your need to "reassure" yourself with morbid medical stories and the like..
If you had a student with HA, what would you advise them to do? Based on your own experience.
NoraB, it’s honestly embarrassing reading all the things I’ve posted about. I actually was thinking a few weeks ago that this is a high risk time for me. I have a very busy and stressful job which I enjoy but it takes a lot out of me. I run on adrenaline a lot and often when I stop for the holidays, my anxiety suddenly hits. The trouble is even though I see myself in the same pattern as I’ve been in before, I can never break the cycle of ‘this time I’m right’. I always think I’ll be able to but when it comes to it, I just can’t. I feel like I can’t leave things to see how they turn out because I am so worried about dying and leaving my kids. I’m so sick of being in this same cycle time after time.
Hi cattia, it wasn't my intention to embarrass you - it was about perspective.
I understand your fear about your kids lovely. That was my fear too, and nothing has scared me more than leaving my kids before my job is done.
It helped me to accept that, while I cannot control when I die, I do get to minimise the risk of dying prematurely by living as healthily as possible and also I have control over how I want to spend the time I do have - which is now.
'Be here now' Ram Dass.
I think that ^^this^^ is the key to living. X
Hi Pulisa,
Yes I'm a teacher and I'm in a new leadership job this year so it's even more stressful than usual. It's a hard question to answer what I would say to a student who has health anxiety. I think I would just want them to know that someone understands how hard it is as I often find other people's lack of understanding the hardest thing to deal with. I guess I would also encourage them to look for the underlying triggers for their anxiety. I think I'm more able to recognise mine now but I don't always manage to stop it before it spirals.
I am obsessing badly about floating stool and the stomach pain I get when I'm drinking. I can't stop thinking about these things all the time and I can't focus on anything else. I really wish I'd never read about the floating stool thing because that's really sent me over the edge. I'm wondering whether to call my Dr. today.
Thanks Nora, you didn't embarrass me, I just feel embarrassed myself when I look at the time I've wasted on this (my own and other people's) and I'm frustrated that I'm still doing the same thing. It's good to know that other people understand. I feel so guilty that when I'm working I don't have enough time to focus on them and then once I have a holiday I get some health worry that takes up all my time and energy. It's exhausting!
Hi Pulisa,
Yes I'm a teacher and I'm in a new leadership job this year so it's even more stressful than usual. It's a hard question to answer what I would say to a student who has health anxiety. I think I would just want them to know that someone understands how hard it is as I often find other people's lack of understanding the hardest thing to deal with. I guess I would also encourage them to look for the underlying triggers for their anxiety. I think I'm more able to recognise mine now but I don't always manage to stop it before it spirals.
I am obsessing badly about floating stool and the stomach pain I get when I'm drinking. I can't stop thinking about these things all the time and I can't focus on anything else. I really wish I'd never read about the floating stool thing because that's really sent me over the edge. I'm wondering whether to call my Dr. today.
I certainly understand all about HA and that's why I would only go to the GP for red flag symptoms and won't have tests for reassurance, only for clinical need. Both my adult children have ASD so it would only panic them more if I gave my HA free rein.
I think it helps to have a GP who understands HA and doesn't enable it. I've turned down many tests for reassurance purposes and yes it's hard but it has given me more of a sense of control over what tests I want/need.
Let us know what your GP says as I know you need to phone him/her...and once these thoughts have got a hold it's very hard to just dismiss them so all the more reason to discipline yourself as regards "research"...You can't unread this stuff but it's so unhelpful and causes needless misery.
So sorry you are struggling at the moment Cattia. It sounds like a bit of a spiral. I am in one too, so I really do understand how you feel. Like me, this is a chronic problem for you, and you just have to ride this flare-up out. You talk of being sick of the constant “cycle”. But - I’m not sure we will ever truly be free of it and - actually- this realisation has helped me a bit. It has given me a bit more patience with myself. I can enjoy the periods of “remission” and not despair- too much- with the relapses. Look after yourself. Xx
Sorry you're struggling too Jojo. I think you're right about accepting it. For me I know it's something I am always likely to suffer with but then when my anxiety is better I get complacent and think that I won't get that bad ever again. Once it takes hold it's amazing how quickly it progresses. I can go from feeling fine to having a complete meltdown in a matter of days.
I'm still obsessing today and starting to think I can feel these spasms with food as well as drink. Also still going through my poo obsession!
I have requested a call back from my Dr although I know there isn't much they can do as even a referral now would take ages with the hospitals the way they are. I also feel guilty for taking up their time at the moment with everything that's going on. But I did mention in the form that my anxiety has got really bad again as well.
Sorry you're struggling too Jojo. I think you're right about accepting it. For me I know it's something I am always likely to suffer with but then when my anxiety is better I get complacent and think that I won't get that bad ever again. Once it takes hold it's amazing how quickly it progresses. I can go from feeling fine to having a complete meltdown in a matter of days.
I'm still obsessing today and starting to think I can feel these spasms with food as well as drink. Also still going through my poo obsession!
I have requested a call back from my Dr although I know there isn't much they can do as even a referral now would take ages with the hospitals the way they are. I also feel guilty for taking up their time at the moment with everything that's going on. But I did mention in the form that my anxiety has got really bad again as well.
I just want to give you a hug! Don’t beat yourself up for having a blip. It has been a stressful term, followed by a holiday..... all that cortisol makes your brain find new things to worry about. Cue health scare.
And don’t feel bad going to the doctor. There is no harm getting checked out and, anyway, anxiety is a completely legitimate issue in its own right.
I am currently awaiting an ENT appointment for some palpable lymph nodes in my neck. Doctor says it is just to reassure me, but I’m terrified it’s cancer. Of course. So I feel your pain.
xxx
I think HA has become all the more prominent during this pandemic because you know that the focus is all on covid and other illnesses/conditions are shunted to one side with services curtailed or cancelled. Despite protestations to the contrary..
Cattia, I hope you can speak to your GP today. It's difficult to know where to draw the line without tests which would maybe cause you further anxiety..but without tests your mind wouldn't have "closure"..whatever that means with HA?
Jojo..I hope your appointment comes through promptly because you do need reassurance and a professional opinion. HA is a complex, distressing and mystifying beast of a mindset xx
Thank you both. Jojo I hope your appointment comes through soon, waiting is the worst. It sounds like your Dr isn’t worried at all which is good news, but I know that until you get the results you can’t help thinking the worst.
Pulisa, I think the pandemic does make it worse for those reasons, because it seems like this would be the worst time to have something really serious. Funnily enough I don’t worry much about Covid, my worries haven’t really changed. What is interesting though, is to see people I know who have never experienced HA before suddenly getting really anxious about Covid, I’m like, ‘Welcome to my life...’
I’m now starting to worry that I can feel the oesophageal spasms when I’m eating as well so that’s making me even more anxious about eating, I’m worried there is a mass in my chest somewhere. The email from the dr said that they would call me back before tomorrow evening so hopefully I can talk to someone tomorrow. The thought of more tests is making me anxious but so is the thought of not having them.
I'd take covid over cancer any day, believe me.
You are spiralling, cattia. You will be focusing on swallowing and the eating process and nothing will feel "right". My son has no oesophagus and food gets stuck at the anastomosis where his stomach is joined to the back of his throat. There is no mistaking true dysphagia or issues with oesophageal motility. As for a mass in your chest..You must try to keep things in perspective and remember that you will have access to your GP tomorrow.
Thank you both. Jojo I hope your appointment comes through soon, waiting is the worst. It sounds like your Dr isn’t worried at all which is good news, but I know that until you get the results you can’t help thinking the worst.
Pulisa, I think the pandemic does make it worse for those reasons, because it seems like this would be the worst time to have something really serious. Funnily enough I don’t worry much about Covid, my worries haven’t really changed. What is interesting though, is to see people I know who have never experienced HA before suddenly getting really anxious about Covid, I’m like, ‘Welcome to my life...’
I’m now starting to worry that I can feel the oesophageal spasms when I’m eating as well so that’s making me even more anxious about eating, I’m worried there is a mass in my chest somewhere. The email from the dr said that they would call me back before tomorrow evening so hopefully I can talk to someone tomorrow. The thought of more tests is making me anxious but so is the thought of not having them.
That is so funny- I too feel a bit perplexed when non-vulnerable people are developing HA about COVID. covid is small-fry compared to the horrors I imagine! (That said, it is of course awful for some- I don’t mean to belittle it)
Also - the swallowing thing I can very much relate to. So often my HA is centred on my swallowing and the panoply of weird sensations that crop up when I focus on it. So much so that I have had three gastroscopies- so convinced have I been that a tumour must be causing my symptoms. Hyper awareness is an amazing thing.
Good luck with the GP tomorrow
xxx
seashell07
29-12-20, 22:50
but then when my anxiety is better I get complacent and think that I won't get that bad ever again. Once it takes hold it's amazing how quickly it progresses. I can go from feeling fine to having a complete meltdown in a matter of days.
This is me right now - I was fine a few days ago feeling on the up and up, and now here I am in yet another horrible health anxiety cycle. Today's focus is covid, which like you is actually unusual for me to obsess over, covid has really been the least of my health worries this year. ugh
I spoke to my Dr (well, a Dr at my practice, not my actual Dr) and she said she would run some more bloods even though I had clear bloods in August, because of the floating stools. This has made me pretty anxious as I feel like she must think there could be something there that wasn't there in the summer. I'm also really anxious about losing more weight this morning. My aim was to put on weight over Christmas and now that my appetite is off I know that won't happen. My weight is on the low side and I worry a lot about weight loss, especially as I know it's also a sign of cancer, as is low appetite. I'm still struggling to eat and I'm anxious about getting the bloods done. Also I know I will have to wait for an appointment for that as that's how the hopsital are doing things now with covid.
I spoke to my Dr (well, a Dr at my practice, not my actual Dr) and she said she would run some more bloods even though I had clear bloods in August, because of the floating stools. This has made me pretty anxious as I feel like she must think there could be something there that wasn't there in the summer. I'm also really anxious about losing more weight this morning. My aim was to put on weight over Christmas and now that my appetite is off I know that won't happen. My weight is on the low side and I worry a lot about weight loss, especially as I know it's also a sign of cancer, as is low appetite. I'm still struggling to eat and I'm anxious about getting the bloods done. Also I know I will have to wait for an appointment for that as that's how the hopsital are doing things now with covid.
Sometimes doctors, in their attempt to reassure us, end up making us feel worse. Because surely they MUST think there is something wrong, if they are ordering tests- right?!
Floating stools is really common. I have had this worry myself. As a vegetarian I think I have floating stools more often than not. And as for the weight loss thing...... you must know that when we are in an anxiety spin we don’t feel hungry. This is especially true if the anxiety spin is about appetite!
PM me, cattia, if you want a supportive ear. I really really understand how you are feeling. And I really really believe you are fine.
Thank you Jojo, I will probably PM you later. I'm forcing myself to eat. Just in such a funk again today. I never knew I could be so obsessed with poo! Literally just praying for a sinking stool right now!
Ahhhh! The poo obsession! I know it well! We are absurd aren’t we???
I spoke to my Dr (well, a Dr at my practice, not my actual Dr) and she said she would run some more bloods even though I had clear bloods in August, because of the floating stools. This has made me pretty anxious as I feel like she must think there could be something there that wasn't there in the summer. I'm also really anxious about losing more weight this morning. My aim was to put on weight over Christmas and now that my appetite is off I know that won't happen. My weight is on the low side and I worry a lot about weight loss, especially as I know it's also a sign of cancer, as is low appetite. I'm still struggling to eat and I'm anxious about getting the bloods done. Also I know I will have to wait for an appointment for that as that's how the hopsital are doing things now with covid.
I'm sorry you have to have yet more bloods, Cattia. She's no doubt practising the cover your arse policy which is so unhelpful with HA but that's no consolation for you.
Thank you Jojo, I will probably PM you later. I'm forcing myself to eat. Just in such a funk again today. I never knew I could be so obsessed with poo! Literally just praying for a sinking stool right now!
For the sake of your sanity you HAVE to just flush and go now. You're having more tests so nothing more you can do in the meantime and you need to lessen your anxiety not add to it if you want to get your appetite back.
Pulisa, I know but the tests are also making me anxious so I feel that if my bowels go back to normal it will mean surely I can't have cancer? But I guess the more I obsess the worse mu digestion will be.
It's a vicious circle, I know.
If you speak to a GP who doesn't know you it will be a gamble because any tests that are ordered will make you very anxious. I think it's a very good sign that your bloods were normal in August. I'm not sure that people without HA would notice whether their stools floated or not.
I'm not sure what you think you have anyway? Presumably a cancer somewhere in your digestive tract but then you thought you had a mass in your chest so it all sounds very anxiety-induced to me.
You'll have to sit it out with the bloods but you are doing something even if it turns out to be anxiety...
I'm on the pancreatic cancer train Pulisa. When I filled out the online consultation request form I did mention how bad my anxiety was too. I think partly these tests are to reassure me but of course they are having the opposite effect. She also asked me a lot of questions about my weight which has made me fixate more on that as my BMI was only 18 even before I lost my appetite. I run for 40 minutes every day so I've dropped weight over the last 12 months doing that too. She did offer me escitalopram which is a med I've not tired. I've been med free for around 15 years after a failed attempt with Sertraline a couple of years back. I have to admit I'm considering giving it a try.
Cattia, you know this is a common symptom (https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/articles/symptoms#Lack_of_appetite_or_taste_a_tinny_metalli c_or_ammonia_smell_or_taste) of anxiety. I've been through it several times during stressful periods and have been feeling that way due to work stresses and the whole COVID thing recently. In my case, I actually welcome losing a few pounds though ;) The key is to allow your nervous system to calm down as the link says. If that means meds and/or therapy so be it. You've been around here long enough to know that ;)
Positive thoughts
My BMI is now below 18, Cattia. I'm also in my early sixties so it's an instant fast track for anything like this. I turned down the colonoscopy as bloods and FIT test were normal but had to have a CT body scan. All ok. Put down to anxiety..I'm still standing and believe that anxiety can induce weight loss. I was eating my normal diet too.
If you do decide on the escitalopram please start on a half dose..5mg is adequate with a low bodyweight..but deciding to go on SSRIs with very high anxiety is a tough call without diazepam.
I spoke to my Dr (well, a Dr at my practice, not my actual Dr) and she said she would run some more bloods even though I had clear bloods in August, because of the floating stools. This has made me pretty anxious as I feel like she must think there could be something there that wasn't there in the summer. I'm also really anxious about losing more weight this morning. My aim was to put on weight over Christmas and now that my appetite is off I know that won't happen. My weight is on the low side and I worry a lot about weight loss, especially as I know it's also a sign of cancer, as is low appetite. I'm still struggling to eat and I'm anxious about getting the bloods done. Also I know I will have to wait for an appointment for that as that's how the hopsital are doing things now with covid.
Well if you have cancer, then so do I because I'm losing weight, have little to no appetite (for 12 months) and it took 3 attempts to flush my floaty turds yesterday!
HA me would be curled up in foetal position now - absolutely petrified - but I've been there, done that, and there was no cancer then either.
So I try to think logically, and logic says that my bloods were clear, FIT test was clear, other shit test which looks for inflammation in the colon was clear, my abdominal US was clear.
Then I ask myself this: Has this happened before? And the answer is yes. I lost 2 stone and my appetite was zero.
Floaty turds? That other worrying 'cancer for sure' sign? Nope. it's RARELY due to cancer, and when it is it's more likely that the loo water will look like an oil slick because said turds will be greasy and/or very pale. Floaty turds are most likely due to fibre or gas - this is very common with IBS and most stress-heads have IBS. Also, my shit has just been scrutinised by some poor sod in a lab - so I'm good with my floaty turds.
While I don't currently have an issue with HA - my anxiety is high, as is most people's due to the situation we find ourselves in. I've been pretty much penned in with Mr Batty since March and I think I might have gone a bit insane? 2020 started with unexplained pain in my pelvis which affected my appetite. When that was sorted 3 months later, we went into lockdown. For the last 3 months, I've had abdominal pain which is most likely to be a tear in the muscle due to me being an absolute twonk and going a bit hardcore with the oblique exercises after 9 years of doing sod all work on my abs. Pain is pain, only it's a bit more than that when you have fibromyalgia as a 2/10 pain in 'normal' people can be a good 7/10 for me - so pain ramps up my anxiety and when you have anxiety - stress hormones are constantly released. The stress response is semi-on all the time. The body doesn't get to recover as it would in a non-anxious person - because, remember, anxiety is something that everybody experiences and it is nessercary to keep us alive.
When it comes to appetite - think of a stressful scenario - like when you're walking down the street at night and you become aware that somebody is walking behind you. I don't know about you, but my stomach would be churning. I wouldn't be thinking, 'I could make a mess of a Big Mac and fries right now'. I would feel sick! Well the doesn't have to be some dodgy geezer walking behind us to create this very physical reaction - our own thoughts will do just as well!
Loss of appetite = weight loss.
I've lost a stone since March and the reason I wasn't fast-tracked is that I was doing physio exercises until the pain started - which was over 3 months ago now, So, I was bound to lose weight. I haven't done any exercise for 3 months but I've lost another 5lbs - which is nothing really. I lost 2 stone in 2016 when I was doing sod all in way of exercise! Cancer weight loss is different. It's rapid and with it comes severe muscle wastage and you can bet your right nip that blood tests would not be clear because there would be deficiencies all over the place. The only slight deficiency I had was Vit B12 - and this naturally lowers with age..
Can you see how logic can change things?
Yes, these can be symptoms of cancer, but as part of a much bigger picture - which tests will reveal - starting with blood tests, and yours were clear 4 months ago.
The only way to change this situation is to sort out your anxiety. :shrug:
Thank you all for your replies. It does make sense that as long as I'm anxious my appetite will be low, and it is a viscous cycle because the more I focus on weather I'm hungry the less hungry I get and the more I worry! I also tend to compare myself now to times in the past when I've lost my appetite and think that my anxiety was worse then than it is now so maybe it's something else this time etc etc. It makes sense to me to try and calm the nervous system down alrhough that is hard to do.
Nora, you're right about being on high alert as well. A lot of what you say really does resonate with me. Of course when I read that you and Pulisa have both had tests that I haven't had I get anxious thinking that I will have to have those tests too to know if I'm OK and what if they come back showing something, but the logical part of my brain can understand that this is part of my HA thinking and that I can't avoid tests because I'm scared of the results if I am also scared of what the symptoms mean- in other words I can't have it both ways. I want a Dr to look at my symptoms and say there is definitely nothing wrong with me without the need for any tests, but I can see that's unrealistic.
The appetite and poo obsession are both trigger that I have to exposed to every day because I can't avoid meals or pooing! So these are triggers that I am going to have to endure because they simply cannot be avoided.
Last night I managed to eat a decent meal. That made me feel better as I knew I was getting some good calories in even though I'm back to not feeling like anything this morning. It's a week today until my blood tests so that will be an anxious wait for me, but at least it isn't too long.
I hope you all had a good evening and happy new year.
And just to make matters worse not only is my stool still floating but I spotted what looked like a tiny spot of grease on the top of the water so now I'm even more convinced that I'm suffering from malabsorption due to my pancreas. I know there is nothing anyone can say to me to make me feel better about this but it does help to write it down even if it is TMI.
Well then ..You'll be having an amylase test presumably so the issue will be picked up quickly and you will start treatment. It's better than doing nothing.
Or the tests will be normal and you will have to choose between chasing a diagnosis or accepting that you have HA and will always assume that you have a terminal illness unless you can manage to resist the triggers which feed the misery.
Yes I'm having that plus CRP and complete blood count. I can see that I'm in an anxiety cycle, but what I can't seem to do very easily is climb out of it.
The irony is that from Monday I'll be setting up a rapid covid testing centre at work for all our staff and students and I'm waaaay less stressed about that than I am about the state of my poo. Health anxiety is a strange thing.
Yes I'm having that plus CRP and complete blood count. I can see that I'm in an anxiety cycle, but what I can't seem to do very easily is climb out of it.
Will getting normal readings from these blood tests reassure you? Or will you be chasing a diagnosis?
Honestly Pulisa I'm not sure. I'm usually quite reassured by medical tests and tend to move onto new worries but if I'm honest in this case I can't be sure whether I'll be able to let the worry about fat absorption rest. I'm not sure whether my bowels going back to normal might be the only thing that might convince me it isn't this. And I know that the wrong answer but I'm being honest.
Honestly Pulisa I'm not sure. I'm usually quite reassured by medical tests and tend to move onto new worries but if I'm honest in this case I can't be sure whether I'll be able to let the worry about fat absorption rest. I'm not sure whether my bowels going back to normal might be the only thing that might convince me it isn't this. And I know that the wrong answer but I'm being honest.
It's best to be honest though. What would you say to the GP if he/she were to say no further tests were necessary?
I would ask him whether he thought I needed a fat absorption test or stool analysis to rule out any chance of cancer. If he said it wasn’t necessary I would try to trust his judgement and maybe ask him about anxiety meds.
That's a very good plan, Cattia. Maybe keep this in your thoughts to cover all eventualities and to avoid further spiralling?
Could you write this down as a visual prompt if you find yourself wavering and panicking?
Thank you Pulisa, it does feel better to have a plan, I will try to stick to this. I’m glad I only have a week to wait until my bloods then I will book in another all with my Dr as I hate calling the receptionist to get the results.
And just to make matters worse not only is my stool still floating but I spotted what looked like a tiny spot of grease on the top of the water so now I'm even more convinced that I'm suffering from malabsorption due to my pancreas. I know there is nothing anyone can say to me to make me feel better about this but it does help to write it down even if it is TMI.
I have spotted a very fine film of grease on the water after a poo. It is amazing what you can see if you look hard enough. Is this your first time with the whole “poo obsession” thing?
I have spotted a very fine film of grease on the water after a poo. It is amazing what you can see if you look hard enough. Is this your first time with the whole “poo obsession” thing?
In all my years of HA there are a few things that I’ve never really obsessed about before; one is my heart, and the other is my poo. Wee obsession is a long standing favourite of mine, I’ve even done a wee in a plastic cup before to see whether it looked contaminated but the poo thing is new to me. I spent ages staring into the bowl of the toilet this afternoon and a part of me can stand back and watch myself when I do these things with a kind of mixture of pity and understanding, but the other part of me simply Cannot. Let. It. Go. Occasionally I’ll start to think more rationally and think maybe this is just one of those things, it will pass, it isn’t what I think it is, then it’s like I have to rush in and stop myself thinking like that because I feel like I’m allowing myself to have false hope. That probably sounds totally insane but that’s how I feel when I’m like this.
In all my years of HA there are a few things that I’ve never really obsessed about before; one is my heart, and the other is my poo. Wee obsession is a long standing favourite of mine, I’ve even done a wee in a plastic cup before to see whether it looked contaminated but the poo thing is new to me. I spent ages staring into the bowl of the toilet this afternoon and a part of me can stand back and watch myself when I do these things with a kind of mixture of pity and understanding, but the other part of me simply Cannot. Let. It. Go. Occasionally I’ll start to think more rationally and think maybe this is just one of those things, it will pass, it isn’t what I think it is, then it’s like I have to rush in and stop myself thinking like that because I feel like I’m allowing myself to have false hope. That probably sounds totally insane but that’s how I feel when I’m like this.
It doesn’t sound insane at all. Well ok it does; but it’s my kind of insane so I get it. I don’t really know what else to say other than, Welcome to the poo obsession. It’s been a long time favourite of mine, along with wee and periods and everything else really other than, like you, heart. That’s a bit weird isn’t it?
It's all about control though..Control over your body, control over how it works, control over what to do if it dares not to work properly or if you perceive it not to be working properly..which isn't meant to happen at all so what on earth do you do? What do you do when something goes "wrong" in the middle of a pandemic and the NHS is concentrating on covid..
The more you "research", the worse the mental and projected physical outcome but you don't want to "miss" anything or make any "mistakes" in your scrutiny and monitoring.
Ultimately it's fear of dying a horrible death which is totally uncontrollable.
And just to make matters worse not only is my stool still floating but I spotted what looked like a tiny spot of grease on the top of the water so now I'm even more convinced that I'm suffering from malabsorption due to my pancreas. I know there is nothing anyone can say to me to make me feel better about this but it does help to write it down even if it is TMI.
Nah. That's your mind playing up because I mentioned it. With a serious issue - it wouldn't be a 'speck' - it would be blatantly obvious.
I once shit myself thinking I had PC due to greasy looking bog water until I made the connection of my Sudocrem (which I had been using liberally on my undercarriage) being swilled into the pan by my own urine.
If you are suffering malabsorption re pancreas etc - then expect your blood work would be off the charts with deficiencies and you would be feeling very ill indeed.
It doesn’t sound insane at all. Well ok it does; but it’s my kind of insane so I get it.
I had to smile at that because I've had a theory of sorts concerning personal relationships since I was young and that is; everybody is insane to one extent or another. Its when you meet someone equally as insane as you that you consider them normal ;)
Positive thoughts
I'm back at work today. I feel like there is a lump in my chest every time I eat. My friend said I look like I've lost weight over Christmas so of course that has made me more anxious that I have rapid weight loss. Just not doing well at the moment!
Hi everyone
Just thought I would update this thread as it’s been a few weeks. Things have been up and down but still largely unresolved. I went for bloods and then I was too scared to call for the results, but they didn’t call me which I took to be a good sign.
The floating stool issue is on and off. Most days they float, but some days they sink so I managed to convince myself that maybe that was OK.
What is still bothering me and getting steadily worse is the pain under my left rib cage every time I swallow. It happens as the food moves into my stomach and is like a cramping pain under the ribs on the left hand side. It started out being only when I swallowed cold drinks but now it is happening with every mouthful of food. I’m also getting a lot of bleaching which also triggers the same pain. It doesn’t happen with any other kind of movement so I don’t think it’s muscular.
I eventually requested a call from the Dr and he rang me yesterday. It was my regular Dr which was good as he knows my history. He said my bloods were all normal and he thinks it sounds like gastritis or esophagitis. I know that those are almost always caused by H pylori though and when I did a home test for that it came back negative so I am already doubting that, especially as I have only had phone consultations since this started and nobody has examined me.
He has put me on omperazole for two weeks and said if that doesn’t help, then he will refer me for an endoscopy. I am pretty anxious about it still because the pain has got steadily worse and it feels like there is something stuck under my left rib. I will try to give the meds chance to work. I am on 40mg which is above the minimum dose.
Hi Cattia
so I have had the exact same symptoms as you - a feeling of discomfort as food moved through my chest. I would lock myself in the loo and test it with varying sizes of hard food (swallowing large lumps of unchewed apple is a BAD idea I can tell you!). Eventually I had a gastroscopy and everything was fine, and after that my symptoms disappeared. Do you a large part of your problem might be hyper awareness? Xxx
Hi Jojo. It does kind of hearten me to read about other people doing the same kind of crazy stuff that HA has me doing even though I'm sorry anyone has to go through it.
I do think hyper focus plays a part in it. The pain when I'm swallowing is more sort of vague, but the pain when I burp is quite a specific pain in one spot and I can reduce it by pressing really hard under my ribs. I wonder if it's a hernia or something. Which would be better than a tumour obviously.
I'm afraid I'll end up having to go for a gastroscopy as well, and I know a few people who've picked up covid attending hospital so that doesn't help!
I've also got floating stool still probably 80% of the time. But I guess my pancreas bloods came back clear.
Yes they did and that was very good news so time to stop ruminating on that one?
It's no good speculating on "diagnosis". Why not just take the prescribed PPIs and try not to get too far ahead of yourself re potential endoscopy etc? Anxiety and hyperfocusing will not be helping your symptoms and if you can avoid having any hospital tests at the moment so much the better? Give yourself the best chance to calm things down with the PPIs, a non-acidic diet and a ban on Dr Google?!
Thanks Pulisa, I’ve been really good with googling which is hard for me as I always make excuses for myself to justify doing it. Of course when you’ve been googling most of your adult life unfortunately you have access to a bank of information that you can’t unread, but at least I’m not reinforcing it by reading the same stuff over and over.
I am going to give the drugs the full two weeks before I contact that dr again. I have a job interview coming up this week which is something for me to focus on. I’m in an interim post at work at the moment and this is to make it permanent. I really love this job so if that works out at least it will be something to give me a boost, and I’m trying really hard to move on from the thoughts of I won’t be able to do the job because I’ll be too sick, which I keep having, but I’m trying to let them pass.
The very best of luck for the job interview, cattia. That will give you a much needed focus and means of distraction from dreaded health issues which can so quickly take an unhelpful hold.
You really don't want to be held back by HA and that's what it's doing. All this worry and need for "reassuring" tests which are just the opposite. Good to know you have a sensible plan to follow the medical advice and take the PPIs for 2 weeks. They are effective drugs used short term and I hope they are effective and give you some physical and mental respite from your discomfort. The job interview and focus on that will complement the pharmaceutical intervention. Please let us know how the interview goes and good luck again! x
Just checking in to say that I got my job today which is great news. My anxiety about this pain is still doing a number on me but I am trying to make a real conscious effort to enjoy the good news even with my symptoms still present.
That's FANTASTIC, cattia! Really well done!! Don't let HA spoil such an achievement? I can imagine what you're thinking now but please try to focus on the positive news and how well you have done to get this job.
Thanks Pulisa. I can see this is an example of all or nothing thinking. I feel like I can’t be happy AT ALL as long as I have ANY symptoms. But I know that I need to work on this as it is possible for people to still experience happiness, even when some areas of their life are very challenging, for example through genuine illness. So I am trying to work on being happy about the job (which I really am) without attaching that to my anxiety about my symptoms, which tells me that I shouldn’t be happy, or i don’t have the right to be happy because I have this awful thing hanging over me.
It's your perception that it is an "awful thing" though. Nothing has been medically confirmed or diagnosed.
It's a very strange concept for us to imagine people being genuinely happy over something even when they have a diagnosed illness but it happens. It has to happen for people to manage their illness and to function rather than to completely give up and take to their beds..Fear of an illness may hold you back more than actually having it and making the best of things which includes being happy when something good happens.
Just updating here because I have an abdominal ultrasound tomorrow. I'm so worried about what they will find. A couple of weeks back I had another scare where my calf swelled right up and was painful and I called 111 who sent me straight to A&E in the middle of the night. They did a d dimer blood test which came back high end of normal so they sent me for an ultrasound of the leg. It was fine, no blood clot which was what they were concerned about. But since then I can't stop wondering why the d dimer was high and I'm now relating it to the ongoing pain in my left side which is there whenever I swallow. I don't expect l I will get the results tomorrow but I'm super nervous. At least I didn't have to wait long for this appointment to come through.
Hope it goes well Cattia.
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Cattia, please try not to join the dots up here..Whatever caused your calf to swell up wasn't a blood clot and you have been checked out and sent home from hospital. The doctors weren't concerned about the high end of normal result-it's still normal- but I appreciate that your HA will not let it rest here.
Tests are so stressful but get it done and then at least you know you will have an appointment with your GP to discuss the results.
I hope the radiologist is able to give you an indication of how things look but they often say they can't, as you know. It doesn't mean anything..Just that it hasn't been assessed by the relevant team yet.
Thanks everyone. The radiologist said everything looked fine, no problem. He did say that there are things that they can’t see on an ultrasound like the inside of the stomach, but I figure if I had a tumour bug enough to cause pain when I swallow it would show up right? I was kind of hoping that if I got a clear result the pain would magically vanish but it’s still there. He told me to follow up with my doctor in a couple of weeks. I have a busy couple of weeks coming up at work so I am going to try and focus on that and see how I go, thank you as always for all your support.
That sounds like an excellent plan. Try your best to stick to it without unhelpful "research" on the internet?
Very pleased to hear that the radiologist saw nothing to indicate a problem. Accept that fact and resist the predictable "but what if.."thoughts which untreated HA will always generate?
I think this sounds like an excellent result Cattia. And like Pulisa says, stay away from the “what ifs” that plague us HAers!
xxx
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