carriewriting
23-12-20, 03:54
My health anxiety isn't great today. I'm not surprised because I know Christmas is a big trigger time for me (and lots of others here too I know), but I've still been off guard at how strong the anxiety has been.
This morning I caught a glimpse of the keyhole scar from my gallbladder op I had 9 years ago. It's about two fingers width under my sternum. Suddenly it seems to be sticking out. I've felt around and there doesn't seem to be a lump but it kinda looks like there is from side on. Of course all the poking and prodding has made the area sore which causes me more anxiety. Despite no evidence of a lump, a feeling of doom has been hanging over my head like a dark cloud all day.
To try and get on top of these feelings I've been using my CBT worksheets. If anyone wants to try them they're free. Just Google (the one time you're allowed to) "WA health anxiety worksheets"
In the meantime I'm off to scrub my house from top to bottom because it's either that or sit here wallowing in my imaginary demise or feeling depressed about my HA getting a hold of me again.
This morning I caught a glimpse of the keyhole scar from my gallbladder op I had 9 years ago. It's about two fingers width under my sternum. Suddenly it seems to be sticking out. I've felt around and there doesn't seem to be a lump but it kinda looks like there is from side on. Of course all the poking and prodding has made the area sore which causes me more anxiety. Despite no evidence of a lump, a feeling of doom has been hanging over my head like a dark cloud all day.
To try and get on top of these feelings I've been using my CBT worksheets. If anyone wants to try them they're free. Just Google (the one time you're allowed to) "WA health anxiety worksheets"
In the meantime I'm off to scrub my house from top to bottom because it's either that or sit here wallowing in my imaginary demise or feeling depressed about my HA getting a hold of me again.