Lilith1980
02-11-07, 10:36
Hi all,
My anxiety has been worse recently and getting quite out of hand. I feel tired and lethargic, I have a "cannot be bothered with things" mind-set. After recent events of rowing with my fiance about things I've just realised how absorbed I have become with this anxiety. I do not want our relationship to suffer any more than it has been. It cannot be easy for my fiance and he has been incredible - he has reassured me that it would have to be something truly terrible to make him break things off with me.
He said that I should keep this fact with myself when I am doubting or feeling anxious - if he didnt love me, he would have broken up with me before now, but he loves me so much and he said that yes, it wont be easy but we will get through it. I may get him to write something down for me so that I can keep it in my purse and read it if I am feeling anxious :)
I know it takes over people's lives but I couldn't see this even though it was happening to me. I am waiting to see a counsellor and I was so down on my luck that I could see any ways to cope in the meantime. I do need to talk to a professional but from looking at this site I am pulling myself out of this dark corner and now have some goals and an "action plan" that I am hoping will keep me in a positive frame of mind:-
1. I have ordered some exercise DVDs. I do not have the money to afford a gym, I am getting married next year and would like to tone up a bit. I also realise from NMP that exercise will help raise my self-esteem and energy levels. If I think I look good, I will feel good.
2. I have also ordered some vitamin B and vitamin C from Holland and Barrett as I would like to see if these help me with my anxiety levels, I haven't been eating very well lately so I think these supplements will help boost my system.
3. Eat more vegetables (I cant stand fruit!) with fresh meat and fresh ingredients. I just havent been bothered about cooking many proper meals lately and as much as I like jacket potato and beans, I could do better! I am also gluten intolerant so this does make planning meals a bit of a military opertation!
4. Cut down on my alcohol intake - I don't drink every day of the week but when I do go out, I tend to over indulge and I think part of this is that subconsciously I want to get really drunk in the hope of it making me forget "for just one evening". I know its a depressant and the morning after I feel particularly bad and cannot distinguish between anxiety and the hangover. My aim is to initially alternate between alcohol and soft drinks and see how I get on.
5. Try and cut down smoking. I smoke 10 a day at the moment but I know it doesnt help with anxiety levels. I would ideally like to give up but last time I tried I found it very stressful so one step at a time.
6. I bought a CBT book a few months back, I read some of it but for some reason stopped - I think it was making me anxious reading it. But I started reading it again on the way to work this morning and will continue to do so.
Over all, my aim is to take better care of myself. I am hoping all these "improvements" will help with my self esteem issues as I am so insecure about myself as a person, the way I look and ultimately being abandoned, which I think is related to past events. I want to feel more secure with myself and that in turn will transfer itself onto external relationships.I actually smiled inside this morning whilst waiting for the bus and said to myself that this thing will not beat me, I am worth much more than this and deserve to take care of myself.
I'm not saying I will feel great all of the time but I have to try and stay positive. I think I am giving this anxiety more importance than it deserves and need to focus on looking after me and not lose sight of my goals.
Just wanted to share really :)
xxx
My anxiety has been worse recently and getting quite out of hand. I feel tired and lethargic, I have a "cannot be bothered with things" mind-set. After recent events of rowing with my fiance about things I've just realised how absorbed I have become with this anxiety. I do not want our relationship to suffer any more than it has been. It cannot be easy for my fiance and he has been incredible - he has reassured me that it would have to be something truly terrible to make him break things off with me.
He said that I should keep this fact with myself when I am doubting or feeling anxious - if he didnt love me, he would have broken up with me before now, but he loves me so much and he said that yes, it wont be easy but we will get through it. I may get him to write something down for me so that I can keep it in my purse and read it if I am feeling anxious :)
I know it takes over people's lives but I couldn't see this even though it was happening to me. I am waiting to see a counsellor and I was so down on my luck that I could see any ways to cope in the meantime. I do need to talk to a professional but from looking at this site I am pulling myself out of this dark corner and now have some goals and an "action plan" that I am hoping will keep me in a positive frame of mind:-
1. I have ordered some exercise DVDs. I do not have the money to afford a gym, I am getting married next year and would like to tone up a bit. I also realise from NMP that exercise will help raise my self-esteem and energy levels. If I think I look good, I will feel good.
2. I have also ordered some vitamin B and vitamin C from Holland and Barrett as I would like to see if these help me with my anxiety levels, I haven't been eating very well lately so I think these supplements will help boost my system.
3. Eat more vegetables (I cant stand fruit!) with fresh meat and fresh ingredients. I just havent been bothered about cooking many proper meals lately and as much as I like jacket potato and beans, I could do better! I am also gluten intolerant so this does make planning meals a bit of a military opertation!
4. Cut down on my alcohol intake - I don't drink every day of the week but when I do go out, I tend to over indulge and I think part of this is that subconsciously I want to get really drunk in the hope of it making me forget "for just one evening". I know its a depressant and the morning after I feel particularly bad and cannot distinguish between anxiety and the hangover. My aim is to initially alternate between alcohol and soft drinks and see how I get on.
5. Try and cut down smoking. I smoke 10 a day at the moment but I know it doesnt help with anxiety levels. I would ideally like to give up but last time I tried I found it very stressful so one step at a time.
6. I bought a CBT book a few months back, I read some of it but for some reason stopped - I think it was making me anxious reading it. But I started reading it again on the way to work this morning and will continue to do so.
Over all, my aim is to take better care of myself. I am hoping all these "improvements" will help with my self esteem issues as I am so insecure about myself as a person, the way I look and ultimately being abandoned, which I think is related to past events. I want to feel more secure with myself and that in turn will transfer itself onto external relationships.I actually smiled inside this morning whilst waiting for the bus and said to myself that this thing will not beat me, I am worth much more than this and deserve to take care of myself.
I'm not saying I will feel great all of the time but I have to try and stay positive. I think I am giving this anxiety more importance than it deserves and need to focus on looking after me and not lose sight of my goals.
Just wanted to share really :)
xxx