View Full Version : Esophageal cancer fear
I was eating some pretty dry chicken the other day and noticed a pain between my shoulder blades when swallowing. It was like a bit of a stabbing pain that lasted only briefly, but would happen when swallowing big bites. It only happened that one meal and hasn't been around since. Of course I Google and all point to EC, saying that it's referred pain from the food passing by an ulcerated tumor. I don't have any other red flag symptoms like weight loss or blood in stool, but I've had what feels like untreated reflux for a very long time (maybe as far back as early 20s) which I never had looked at because it wasn't causing me any real discomfort. I'm just worried now that the reflux has damage my esophagus over the years to the point where I've had Barrett's and then it's turned into a tumor...
I'm trying to remember, but I think I have only experienced this pain maybe once before during an old pancan fear, but not as intensely. Also, the day it happened, I had woken up with some really sore shoulders, particularly between the blades. Coincidentally, as the soreness left, so did the swallowing pain. While it seems like I may have answered my own question, I don't know how the two can be related, and I can't stop fixating on the possibility of EC.
Has anyone experienced upper back pain when swallowing as a result of pulled muscles? If the food was passing by a tumor, would it was and wane or be constant?
Sorry to bump this on Xmas day, but for some reason I woke up feeling particularly more anxious than usual about this
Hi, I can relate to this as I'm having a similar but different issue. For me I have pain in my left chest beneath my rib cage whenever I swallow cold liquids. Like you the pain seems to be a spasm caused by swallowing rather than being there all the time. I'm pretty sure that's where my pancreas is so I'm freaking out about pancreatic cancer. I've had pain between the shoulder blades with indigestion before. Like you, I also think I've had untreated reflex for years and now I'm getting older I really freak out that I've done serious damage.
Hi Cattia, what makes you think its PC? I had that fear about 2 or 3 years ago... you should check my old threads out where I describe everything I went through and maybe you'll find some reassurance since I'm still kicking.
I've taken a look at your latest thread about appetite. Are you sure you weren't going through an anxious period before linking your symptoms to PC? Even the slightest anxiety,health or otherwise, will cause me to stop eating as much as I regularly would. Like, right now, while I'm worried about EC, I almost stopped eating altogether and lost about 5lbs in a matter of days, but I forced myself to eat over Xmas eve and Xmas day and I weighed myself this AM and I'm up about 7lbs. Anxiety tales a massive toll on the body, but horribly it mimics the symptoms of our worst fears.
Hi hynopamia, thanks for your reply. I have been off my food for a couple of weeks and the more I think about it the less I want to eat. I feel like I could go days without eating a thing. Then I started to have had this pain in my left side that I noticed after drinking cold liquids, so like an idiot I googled to find out which organs are there, even though I knew it was the slippery slope. I found that it’s the spleen and the pancreas so not content with that, I googled some more and bam, full blown HA flare up.
I have had a prolonged period of stress at work for several months but I felt like I was coping ok with it, my anxiety was under control, but I suppose it could be a reaction to that. Of course I’m thinking it can’t be and I really wish to God Ian hadn’t googled as I’ve been doing well for a while.
for you, it does sound like indigestion. In my twenties I went through a period of fixating on esophogal cancer and I used to get loads of random pains in my back, shoulders and basically all over my upper body.
I feel the exact same way about eating when I'm anxious. I just don't have an appetite at all when I'm fixated on one disease or the other. This was particularly scary for me when I was scared of pancreatic cancer and seen that weight loss was a common side effect. I was also noticing weird pains where you describe, but trust me, psychosomatic pains are real: I didn't happen to notice any pains in my sternum, back, or in the lower left quadrant until I read that those were potential spots of pain for PC. But the thing you should know, is that the pain from PC is supposed to be excruciating, and will not be something you guess about... one way or the other it sends you to the ER. You've probably researched this as much as I have in the past, but the pain with PC comes from a similar source to people who suffer from pancreatitis: a blockage that stops the digestive enzymes from releasing into the bile duct. So, if a tumor is obstructing the head of the pancreas, it will potentially block the bile duct, and when you eat, the enzymes activate while still inside the pancreas and essentially start eating itself, causing unbelievable pain. In my most desperate moments I watched a video of YouTube of a man who was actually having a pancreatitis attack... he was on the floor writhing in pain helplessly. Unless that's the pain you're experiencing, I would imagine it's psychosomatic or muscular.
Your life situation sounds so much like mine. I'm in a pretty intense job that's very demanding, and it's likely no coincidence that I've gone through this HA flare up during a very busy time. I also I also what you did, except instead of Google I used a virtual.medicine app where people can ask questions for free and doctors will answer... I searched my symptoms and people who asked about symptoms similar to mine (sharp pain between the shoulders when swallowing) a doctor wrote in all caps "YOU MUST RULE OUT AN ESOPHOGEAL LESION". Others were more measured and offered a list of potential benign causes like GERD or potential muscular issues, but if course with HA i latch on to the possibility of esophogeal cancer, even at 35 years old, where the incidence in my case is like .8 per 100,000 people.
GERD or indigestion sounds reasonable, but my main concern is not really the pain, I think that may actually have been muscular as it only happened that one time on a day when that area was insanely sore, I didn't feel it if I changed posture while swallowing, and since my shoulders haven't been nearly as sore and I haven't experienced it since. What I'm latching on to now is the possibility that my untreated acid reflux, which I've had, probably since my early twenties, has turned into Barrett's Esophagus and then cancer has developed...
I think I have only experienced this pain maybe once before during an old pancan fear, but not as intensely.
Cancer is an uncontrolled growth of abnormal cells. It doesn't come and go nor does it stop once it starts.
Positive thoughts
Cancer is an uncontrolled growth of abnormal cells. It doesn't come and go nor does it stop once it starts.
Positive thoughts
Haha I was waiting for this response from you! That's one of the things that reassures me as well: I imagine that if the shoulder pain I felt when swallowing,if it were caused by food squeezing past a tumor in my esophagus, it would be present every time I ate since, not just on Monday night...
Hey everyone,
I've recently been going through a bit of an esophageal cancer panic and wondering if anyone has ever experienced the same thing.
Started back on Dec 20th (I journal this stuff lol) when I was eating some super dry chicken and noticed a pain between my shoulders immediately after swallowing. This hasn't happened since, and might be muscular, because when I would change posture the pain was absent when swallowing(and I also woke up that day with insane shoulder soreness... and the next day, or any day since, my shoulders have not felt that sore).
Even if it were a coincidence between my posture causing a muscular pain while I happened to be eating, it still triggered a massive EC panic, as I immediately starting thinking that the pain was caused by the chunks of meat squeezing past a tumor. At the time, I also started to think back to earlier in the summer (and occasionally between the summer and October) where I would be eating large quantities of chicken (was on a diet then, and the chicken was usually dry since I just baked it with no sauce/seasoning) and upon swallowing it would feel like the bite of chicken was slowly going down my throat (it wouldn't get "stuck" but it definitely went down slow and uncomfortably). When I made that association I immediately said to myself "****, that was the start of the tumor growth", and went into a spiral.
So, for the last month I've been doing stupid "experiments" with different types of food, like dry chicken, white bread, or anything solid and bulky, where I'll eat them frequently throughout the day to "monitor" how I'm swallowing them. It never gets stuck in my throat or chest, but with those dry foods I can always feel it going down slowly, and now I'm starting to be conscious of how I swallow EVERYTHING, and any slight discomfort will set my anxiety back to square one. I also want to note, that for foods that regular people eat (you know, not dry as a bone and with sauce and seasoning.. some flavor), I generally don't experience any sort of discomfort. For example, I can crush a double whopper and onion rings etc in less than 10 min for lunch, but then eat dry, flavorless, chicken for dinner, and if I feel it going down, I get super anxious.
Rationally, I'm pretty sure that if I had a tumor that was big enough to partially block my esophagus and hinder the transit of food to the stomach (since the summer), that a) I'd probably be dead or deathly ill by now, b) I wouldn't be able to eat anything, certainly not double whoppers, and c) I'd probably have other worrying symptoms
Irrationally, I tell myself that the reason why I can eat big fast food meals is that the grease and sauce etc lubricates it enough to slide past the tumor with ease (no matter how big/chunky the bites are), meanwhile the dry food is a more "accurate" way of monitoring the function of my esophagus since transit of food isn't aided by lubrication.
Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone has ever had a similar fear and how you dealt with it (I'm currently journaling, in therapy, and using meditation to help subside the feelings of dread) or if anyone has ever been hyperfocused on their swallowing to the point where they "feel" everything going down to some degree.
It's driving me nuts!
glassgirlw
28-01-21, 23:24
I have not experienced that myself, however I do think you should listen to the rational side of your brain. You’re right, if you had a tumor, no matter how greasy the food was, it wouldn’t be going down with ease. I think you’re just hyper focusing on a sensation and letting the anxiety run away with you.
that being said I’m no doctor, so if you’re seriously concerned then you should check in with one.
I replied to this on your previous thread. (https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?242221-Esophageal-cancer-fear) I do find it interesting how much OCD is integrated into your HA.
FMP
nomorepanic
28-01-21, 23:54
Hi
This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your thread was merged with another of your threads.
Please when posting on similar topics add it onto your previous post rather than starting a new one.
It is nothing personal it is just to make it easier for people to follow your story and to give you advice as a whole.
I replied to this on your previous thread. (https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?242221-Esophageal-cancer-fear) I do find it interesting how much OCD is integrated into your HA.
FMP
Yeah, there's lots of overlap. Although I'm not sure if it's a unique feature on the board, you tend to see a lot of people discussing frequent self-checks. This is just a weirder version of that, which has resulted in a weight gain of 13lbs lol
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