Anti-social behavior worries??

[unclebuck]

I seem to be more and more anxious of Anti-social behaviour.

I live out in the country with only 1 next door neighbour to my side, both of us in a detatched house on a busy road, so we dont get anyone walking past, but have views of the Countryside..

You may wonder what i have to be worried about?? as I seem to find myself increasingly jumpy about sounds outside or cars revving a mile or so away as we are so used to the quiet?!

I used to live with my parents in a normal small town street and never gave a 2nd thought to kids outside walking down the street, or general people outside, maybe because it wasnt my house and i knew i had my brother there and Father and we were on a normal street with neighbours who wouldnt put up with much either if there was anything going on in the street (not that there was!)

When I moved out I moved in with my Girlfriend into a secluded detatched cottage which i couldnt get used to at first as it was soo quiet and out in the country set back from the road with private gate. After a few years of this we moved into a town and didnt like it... (we luckily moved back to the country after)

In the short time that we were there we did experience kids on Fri night late, running around the back of our row of houses a couple of times and it really got my back up coming from a very small hamlet/village with no-one!

I then started to feel anxious and looking out o f the window all the time to see what was going on (mostly nothing!!) but would get jumpy if someone was in the next road!!! or cars driving past our top road at the top of our street!! which is ridiculous!

My now wife knows nothing of how i feel, and I dont show it either, but maybe with news reports of yobs beating up (& killing) young people who go
out to complain about anti-social behaviour, i think it all sunk in and now once its dark, i feel a bit like a prisoner looking out of the window at EVERY noise.

As mentioned at the start we now live back out in the country and have a private gated drive and our house is tucked away. All we can hear at night is wildlife, but if i hear a slightly unusual noise im awake and looking out of the window.. even if its next door neighbours putting out the rubbish, whilst my wife just sleeps and ignores it..

how can I get back to normal and not let this affect me anymore? I did think secretly about hypnosis??

I am a very laid back and relaxed guy, but when its me and my wife on our own i feel very vulnerable and uncomfortable - this never happens if i hear yobs i the street if i am at someone elses house or on our own at a friends house in the middle of London! (maybe as i know i dont live there all the time)

Also it maybe that when i was in a street at my parents, at least i would know that 2 neighbours up the road would complain to yobs before i had to..?

I hope this post makes some sense! but i just dont know if i'm being over cautious or going mad?! I know that maybe 90% of people live in towns and cities, but just can't understand how they cope??!!?

HELP! :blush:

[Gordon]

Hi Unclebuck

I don't think you're alone with these fears, I think many of us nowadays are worried about "yobs" roaming our streets. I live in a small village and we have a gang of 13 to 18 year olds who all park on some concrete only 50 or so yards from my house and blast loud techno music til the wee small hours. The police are aware of them and move them on sometimes but only maybe once every couple of months. They come back again after a couple of nights as they know that the local police are overstretched and have to cover a wide rural area.

Also there are no suitable punishments for them now, so they can more or less do as they please. I'm not saying they should get 100 lashes or anything barbaric, but they should have their cars possibly confiscated or be sent to a young offenders centre for a month. I'm just talking about "nuisance" youths here, of course in large towns and cities it's a totally different ball game and there's the gangs issue to deal with. There should be a minimum sentence of 5 years' imprisonment for anyone carrying a knife in the street and 10 years for simply possessing a firearm.

The law's weak in this country and the do-gooders are as much to blame for the blood on the streets as the actual perpetrators of the crimes.

On a personal note, my illness can come in handy at times as anger is something I have a problem with here and there. A few years ago when I was in London visiting a friend, two youths aged around 15 accosted me in the street and asked for my jacket, phone and money. They had a small tiny penknife held at me, so I started shouting at them "go on then - effing stab me if you've got the bottle" knowing that the worst they could do with their pathetic excuse of a weapon would be about an inch gash or something. They took one look at me and one said to the other "that bloke's bleedin' mental" and scarpered. Of course it helps to be 6 foot 4 and they were pretty ballsy to even approach me in the first place, I'll give em that. BUT..... it's not everyone who's 6 foot 4 and it's not every potential mugger who's just full of pee and wind so I advise people just to walk (or run) away if you can to the nearest place of safety.

It's rough out there and the decent folk need to get their streets back.........

Gordon

[Gordon]

Also unfortunately we now live in a society where people are scared to grass yobs up for fear of repercussions.

We need vigilante groups patrolling the streets. I'd sign up for that.

Gordon

[unclebuck]

Completley agree Gordon,

I have never had any proper experience of this first hand, so not sure where this has ccome from apart from it being on the news every night!

vigilante groups patrolling the streets would be great - i feel sorry for the people who have their lives made hell every fri/sat night in towns and cities

[sensei_deano]

I can really relate to this issue as I live in Liverpool, in an area that is plagued by gun crime and gang related violence. I have never had a gun pointed at me if I am honest but I do feel a terrible sense of unease for my family and friends whenever they are out, especially after dark. I am not proud of the fact but I did consider the whole vigilante thing at one point.. However I felt that by using violence I would be lowering myself to their level in a sense, though it would be nice to have people patrolling just as a deterrent if possible, though with the youth of today admittedly that would be a tall order. Best thing I can honestly advise is to report whatever incidents of antisocial behaviour you see and if the same offenders are found to be causing problems repeatedly perhaps the police may then be able to take more action. The law does tend to prevent the police from doing anything meaningful about the whole problem also which is a shame.

Dean :)

[lenore]

I know this is an old thread but it is somthing that's really scaring the hell out of me at the moment. I've got an awful fear of anti-social behavior and unfortunately, I seem to be experiencing it. I'm really frightened of reporting it as I'm the only one in the building that doesn't act like that and so if there were letters sent out or visits from the council it would be easy to trace back to me. As Gordon said, I'm scared of repercussions.

I know that to a large degree my anxiety is influencing why I feel so bad about this at the minute but I've come to believe that most people would struggle to live here- there's music and shouting that goes on from 10 until 10 the next morning on a weekend (and loud music and arguments at night during the week) security doors that are constantly being broken in by the others in the flat so that their mates can get in, the police have knocked on my door twice in four months looking for information on the other people living here, bin areas that are disgusting since I'm the only one that puts their bin out and cans and bottles everywhere from the all the parties. I'm emotionally drained a lot of the time from 3 sessions of therapy a week and I need a quiet, calm environment while I sort myself out. Fingers crossed I can get relocated (though I don't hold out much hope).

It's ironic that I moved into this place to begin with because of my fear of being the victim of anti-social behavior. The landlord told me that this place is so quiet and peaceful and that it's the best place they have on their books in Sunderland. Me thinks he just wanted to offload it.

[lenore]

It's 1.36 and I'm not able to sleep because of the ridiculously loud music from downstairs. The Citalopram seems to knock me really sick if I get too tired and my anxiety is sky high. I've managed to record some of it on my crappy voice recorder on my mobile (so it must be really loud) and I'm going to take it to the landlord.

[Roj_V]

I know it's an old topic, but if you're still around, please get in touch. Here is my story : http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=98390