View Full Version : Can’t go on
Hello everyone. Looking for any words of support as I’m in desperate place. Anxiety started spiking again about a month ago and it’s got to crisis levels. I was in hospital yesterday as was having desperate thoughts. I felt calmer when at hospital but since I’ve returned home it’s got crazy bad again. I’ve increased my Citalopram dosage a couple of weeks ago which might be making me feel so out of it. I just feel on the edge of panic 24 hours a day and feel completely cut off from everyone and everything. I can’t eat or sleep. I’m shaking.The diazepam the doc prescribed doesn’t seem to help. I feel like no one has ever felt this bad ever and feel desperate for some respite. Anyone help ?
Are you on your own at home, Mr P?
You were discharged from A&E I take it after being assessed by the psychiatric liaison team? Were you given a mental health crisis line number to phone if you needed help?
Are you under a Community Mental Health team?
Acute anxiety can make you feel like this..Are you taking the diazepam regularly and not "as needed"?
These horrible feelings of agitation are unbearable but they will pass if you don't react to them with fear...Use the diazepam and ring the crisis line if you want to talk to a MH professional.It's what they are there for..
I feel like no one has ever felt this bad ever and feel desperate for some respite. Anyone help ?
I've felt that bad (and worse) and I reckon loads of people on here can say the same.
If you were prescribed Diazepam yesterday, you need to give it time to get into your system but meds only deal with the anxiety symptoms. What are you doing therapy wise? What do you think has caused your anxiety to rocket?
Thanks for your reply.
Yes I was discharged a after being assessed by the liaison team, they were really caring but ultimately I feel like I’m on my own with this as I find it hard to articulate the thoughts and feelings, it just feels too overwhelming if just cry. I’ll try the crisis team local to me in Bristol. I’m just scared to take diazepam regularly and become dependent. I had a problem with alcohol many years ago so know how dependence feels.
I’m trying no to be scared of thoughts and feelings. I usually practice meditation but it just feels way too uncomfortable at the moment all I can do is try and distract myself all day.
I have a wife and 3 year old daughter. I just cry when I’m with them as I feel so cut off.
Thanks again
Hi Nora
Thanks. I’m not currently doing any therapy. I have in the past and tbh I’ve never got to root cause, but cbt helped when I had a bad episode a number of years ago. I am just finding it impossible to apply it when I’ve got what feels like a wild animal in my head.
I think the current situation probably kicked it all off. Trying to manage a toddler who is quite ‘difficult’ without support, working from hole constantly etc. But it has just spiralled. It might be the increase in Citalopram that’s making it worse. I don’t know.
Thanks again for taking the time to reply.
I am so sorry you are in this place right now Mr P. You need to be brave and sit with these feelings until they pass. And you need to avoid being alone. You might need a wider support bubble than your wife and child. Do you have parents or siblings who can also offer support? Also you must make use of the crisis line if you feel really desperate. The feelings will not last- but right now you must make use of all the avenues of support available.
hang in there Mr P - and keep posting. Xxx
Hi jojo
Thanks. Yes I have parents who care but find it difficult to understand. I tend to get too emotional when I speak to them about it. I’ve been trxting a few close friends to help feel connected. Going to try and go for a little walk now. Thanks
A walk is a good idea. What did you see?
I can see it is frustrating that your patents don’t understand- but I wonder if we set the bar too high, when we are in a crisis? I think complete understanding is impossible- and, perhaps, not necessary? Just being present helps. They might not be able to understand but they can be there. And that will help.
It's very hard to seek support when you find it difficult and nigh on impossible to put the feelings into words which can in some way express just how desperate you feel..and it's a lonely old place to be in. The worst thing is when people say they just don't "get" it..but we DO on here. You can use here to talk about your feelings because nobody will judge you and we have all been through this.
I would advise taking the diazepam regularly throughout the day. You will not get addicted quickly and would not be given enough of a supply to cause you to become addicted. Benzodiazepines are great meds to take the edge off unbearable agitation and this is what you need to feel "normal" again. I would imagine that the increased citalopram dosage is heightening your anxiety so all the more reason to add in the diazepam. This is one of the main drawbacks of SSRI meds in my opinion. You are not going mad. You just need a bit of help to tolerate the increase in citalopram.
I hope you were able to talk to some close friends and that they were able to make you feel more "connected". There is nothing to beat support and understanding and the fact that people are there for you and want you to get better and over this episode.
Yes you are right, jojo. I know they are always there for me which I definitely appreciate.
Walk was ok, I desperately tried to focus on my surroundings, but I end up feeeling quite tearful. I normally love going to the lake near where I live, it’s my chill place, but when you can’t connect it feels upsetting to me. Thanks
Thanks Pulisa, your post was v helpful. I took some diazepam and had a short nap this afternoon and feel slightly less desperate. My local community team also called me for a chat and we created a crisis plan together.
It’s good to people have felt this bad and come out the other side. I really struggle when I don’t feel in control, both with my thoughts and feelings and in life in general. Which is probably why the current situation has impacted me So much as I’ve been feeling very trapped for the last couple of months. And now I feel trapped in my head.
J
This "trapped" feeling is very common though. I'm glad you have a crisis plan in place and I think it's very important that you take the diazepam regularly over the long weekend. Remember that you can call the crisis line at any time because they are open on a 24/7 basis.
You need to take it purely a day at a time and not think too far ahead because you WILL feel out of control then..as we all would.
I take it you're struggling with your little girl...but when your concentration is all over the place and you're highly anxious and can't think straight it's hardly surprising. Try to recoup some sleep and eat little and often. Take things slowly and don't berate yourself? It's horrible getting through the endless hours like this but the diazepam WILL help..
Yes you are right, jojo. I know they are always there for me which I definitely appreciate.
Walk was ok, I desperately tried to focus on my surroundings, but I end up feeeling quite tearful. I normally love going to the lake near where I live, it’s my chill place, but when you can’t connect it feels upsetting to me. Thanks
Don't worry about not being able to connect. You can't when you take your ruminations with you and the anxiety is too acute. You'll get back to being able to enjoy your chill place but don't expect too much at the moment. This episode WILL pass.
Thank you both, your words of encouragement and understanding have been really helpful and made me feel less alone with this. I really appreciate it.
Just keep on keeping on Mr P. What are you doing this evening?
Will do, I’ve just been practicing the piano, it’s one of the only things that holds my attention at the mo. Hope you have a good eve.
Anything which holds your attention, Mr P..and what a wonderful talent you have! Sounds very therapeutic.
Happy New Year to you and yours and things are going to get better for you..
Piano sounds like excellent therapy. Clears the mind of anything else. Keep playing
Hello. Happy new year. I’m feeling slightly calmer today. Managed to go to the park with my daughter this morning. And did 30 mins meditation. Still getting regular overwhelming pangs but trying hard not to react. Speaking on here yesterday definitely helped me. Thanks. One day at a time!
So glad you're feeling a little better. Sometimes baby steps are what it takes.
Hello. Happy new year. I’m feeling slightly calmer today. Managed to go to the park with my daughter this morning. And did 30 mins meditation. Still getting regular overwhelming pangs but trying hard not to react. Speaking on here yesterday definitely helped me. Thanks. One day at a time!
That's a big achievement, Mr P and 30 mins meditation is very impressive when each minute can be a challenge. Talk as much as you want on here if it helps.
I think you should feel very proud of this achievement. Aim for small victories, even if it’s just getting out for a walk or playing the piano. You can beat this - one day at a time
I think you should feel very proud of this achievement. Aim for small victories, even if it’s just getting out for a walk or playing the piano. You can beat this - one day at a time
Thanks. Today has been less good but hanging in there. I think I’m worried about the fact that I am due back at work on Monday but don’t feel up it. My work are very understanding but it worries me nonetheless.
Anticipatory anxiety is bound to set in and it's the pits because your brain will try to convince you that you're not up to it/won't be able to cope etc etc..
Try not to overthink a situation that hasn't happened and try not to catastrophise? Take your diazepam regularly, pace yourself and take it an hour at a time..Going back to work will give you some structure and routine and people will be sympathetic which all helps. Have faith in yourself and confidence in your ability to cope..The build up to Monday could well be the worst bit and once Monday comes it will be a question of getting back into work mode and being distracted from anxiety issues.
And to add to what Pulisa says.... I presume your work are aware of what you are currently going through? And if you need to be signed off for a bit this is a possibility?
And to add to what Pulisa says.... I presume your work are aware of what you are currently going through? And if you need to be signed off for a bit this is a possibility?
I spoke to them last night and going to play by ear. I don’t like not working but I don’t want to make it worse. II had a couple of ok days and now I’m back to hyper anxiety and feeling extremely low and detached from everything. I am hoping it’s the increase in citaloptam that’s causing this and it’s settled soon. My daughter is at nursery for a few days this week so that gives me a little more time to rest.
You might find it better to do a phased return to work making the most of the time at home when your daughter is at nursery but being at work when she's at home?
Are you able to rest at all though? It's hard with severe anxiety.
You might find it better to do a phased return to work making the most of the time at home when your daughter is at nursery but being at work when she's at home?
Are you able to rest at all though? It's hard with severe anxiety.
Thanks. Yes It feels impossible to relax at home but I feel so ‘in my own head‘ at the moment to work - my job involves a lot interactions with others (usually face to face) but I’m struggling to hold even simple conversations right now. I get that I need to try an accept these feelings but it all feels so overwhelming it’s so hard not to want rid of them.
Of course you want rid of them but they are a manifestation of your mental distress so to be expected. Keep taking the diazepam because that will help with the difficulty with talking too.
Presumably work won't involve face to face type interaction now anyway? So this would lessen the onus on you to "perform" socially.
have you contacted your GP re the increased citalopram dosage causing this spike in anxiety?
Of course you want rid of them but they are a manifestation of your mental distress so to be expected. Keep taking the diazepam because that will help with the difficulty with talking too.
Presumably work won't involve face to face type interaction now anyway? So this would lessen the onus on you to "perform" socially.
have you contacted your GP re the increased citalopram dosage causing this spike in anxiety?
Thanks. I spoke my gp today, who is great about mental health compared to ones I’ve had in past. He says the increase might well be making things worse at the moment but wants me to continue. At the moment it’s just adding to the trapped feeling simply by feeling trapped on this med - I’ve been taking a low dose for a couple of years.
Yeah I still have to do lots of online interactions at work but perhaps having a focus might help. I really don’t know.
I might look into some private threapy as I know the waiting lists a huge in Bristol.
My doctor said the majority of appointments he’s having at the mo are mental health related- its so sad - there just isn’t the resource to help people.
I think having a focus would be a significant help. Unstructured time to fill gives anxiety and rumination a green light. Far better to have some structure and routine in your day to make you feel safer and to give you a sense of purpose.
If you are able to access private therapy then I certainly would. It would be a good investment for future episodes and you will feel that you are doing something productive and beneficial for your mental health.
I used to live in Clifton when I was a student there many moons ago..Bristol is a great place!
I think having a focus would be a significant help. Unstructured time to fill gives anxiety and rumination a green light. Far better to have some structure and routine in your day to make you feel safer and to give you a sense of purpose.
If you are able to access private therapy then I certainly would. It would be a good investment for future episodes and you will feel that you are doing something productive and beneficial for your mental health.
I used to live in Clifton when I was a student there many moons ago..Bristol is a great place!
Yes Bristol is a good place to live - particularly in the days when you could go to gigs and restaurants. I imagine you used to hang out Whiteladies rd then? that’s where I work.
I’m going to look into therapy options today, I have some savings available and would like to start ASAP.
Woke up 4 again today so feeling very bad again. Just had a long cry with my daughter who was watching snowman and the snow dog, not sure why that set me off. Long day ahead.
I thought everybody cried at Snowman and the Snow Dog? I know I do.
Good luck searching for a therapist, I hope you can find somebody who works well with you - it can be a complete gamechanger.
I thought everybody cried at Snowman and the Snow Dog? I know I do.
I do, every time.
I thought everybody cried at Snowman and the Snow Dog? I know I do.
Good luck searching for a therapist, I hope you can find somebody who works well with you - it can be a complete gamechanger.
Yeah I know! It wasn’t even the sad bits that set me off. Just the snowmen having fun.
Thanks!
Yeah I know! It wasn’t even the sad bits that set me off. Just the snowmen having fun.
Thanks!
I know of a nervously exhausted man who cried his heart out at the sight of a slightly manky tomato in his fridge...
I know of a nervously exhausted man who cried his heart out at the sight of a slightly manky tomato in his fridge...
And that’s why you shouldn’t keep tomatoes in the fridge.🙂
Absolutely not!! Ruins the flavour!
Have you seen "Grandpa"? That's an even worse tearjerker..
Whiteladies Road and Blackboy Hill.Those names must have been changed by now?!
I lived in Sion Hill..Opposite the suspension bridge. In an attic flat though!
Definitely have a look at your options re therapy. Finding the right person could make all the difference and you would have the luxury of choice given that you are opting for the private route.
Having another really hard day. Lack of sleep is really doing me in. Feel so mentally exhausted and have nothing left. And I still can’t stop crying. Does anyone have experience with citaloptam? I’ve been taking it for four years, i was on 20 but reduced down to 10 3 months ago. Increased it back up to 20 3 weeks ago. I was feeling bad before but no where near in compArison. I’m worried that It has stopped working for me.
I spoke to a therapist today but I mainly cried for an hour trying to explain how I felt.
I'm a citalopram zealot, yes, but I know these things do stop working sometimes. I know people who've had a lot of success switching from citalopram to escitalopram, though - it's a very similar med but you can go up to higher doses.
Really sorry you're feeling so awful, I can remember those days when I didn't stop crying for a week on end. Better days are coming, though, and I hope they'll be with you soon.
I'm a citalopram zealot, yes, but I know these things do stop working sometimes. I know people who've had a lot of success switching from citalopram to escitalopram, though - it's a very similar med but you can go up to higher doses.
Really sorry you're feeling so awful, I can remember those days when I didn't stop crying for a week on end. Better days are coming, though, and I hope they'll be with you soon.
I do hope so. I feel so lost and scarred it’s untrue. My daughter must be so freaked out by me, I am so worried about her. She justs wants to bring me teddies to cheer me up.
I’ll call the doctor tomorrow as I am beginning to feel desperate now.
I’m sure your daughter isn’t freaked out, she sounds like a very kind little girl who loves her Daddy.
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Do call the doctor tomorrow Mr P? Give yourself a plan and phone your surgery first thing?
Escitalopram is another option and you can start at a 5mg dose even though the therapeutic dose is 10-20mg. Sometimes less is more in terms of dosage no matter what the textbooks say especially when anxiety is very high when you start. Do remember the diazepam as well though? It will take the edge off and you won't become dependent after such a short time.
Do call the doctor tomorrow Mr P? Give yourself a plan and phone your surgery first thing?
Escitalopram is another option and you can start at a 5mg dose even though the therapeutic dose is 10-20mg. Sometimes less is more in terms of dosage no matter what the textbooks say especially when anxiety is very high when you start. Do remember the diazepam as well though? It will take the edge off and you won't become dependent after such a short time.
Thanks. I’ll see what he says. Have a nice evening
Remember that you will have access to a crisis line over the weekend in case you are apprehensive about your GP not being available..and we are always around on here too.
Your daughter sounds very caring. Mine at her age would have hit me:D (she's autistic)
Remember that you will have access to a crisis line over the weekend in case you are apprehensive about your GP not being available..and we are always around on here too.
Your daughter sounds very caring. Mine at her age would have hit me:D (she's autistic)
Thanks for all your support over the last week. I just can’t cope anymore. I just lie all night awake thinking about how to make this stop. I don’t feel like i have the strength anymore.
Jonny
Please hang in there and speak to your GP as soon as you can this morning?
Thanks for all your support over the last week. I just can’t cope anymore. I just lie all night awake thinking about how to make this stop. I don’t feel like i have the strength anymore.
Jonny
Jonny, these feelings are truly terrifying but please phone the local crisis line and just talk about your despair. Take some diazepam just to tide you over until your surgery opens? Talk to your partner? Remember you have a little girl who loves you..You may feel like you can't take another second of this but you are mentally exhausted and the more you think about "making this stop" the more panicked and despairing you will be..
Please call the crisis line..if not for yourself then for your young family.
Jonny, these feelings are truly terrifying but please phone the local crisis line and just talk about your despair. Take some diazepam just to tide you over until your surgery opens? Talk to your partner? Remember you have a little girl who loves you..You may feel like you can't take another second of this but you are mentally exhausted and the more you think about "making this stop" the more panicked and despairing you will be..
Please call the crisis line..if not for yourself then for your young family.
Thanks. Today I hit rock bottom. I have never felt so exhausted in my life yet my mind is just pounding with me the darkest thoughts. I’ve spoken with the crisis team and my gp. I broke down on the phone to both and could barely speak. Doc wants me to carry on with citalopram and diazepam, and has also given me something to help sleep. I hate taking all this medication but it feels like needs must. I just need some light from somewhere to be able to sit with this. Sorry, I feel like a just ramble on here.
It's not "all this medication," believe me. It is serving to get you over a challenging time. You need your sleep to manage the day The diazepam needs to be taken regularly not on an "as needed" basis. Trust your GP. You are having the right treatment but just need to continue with it without worrying about dependency etc. You need to accept this help because it is all part of the recovery package.
You're not rambling..You're in genuine distress but what you are experiencing is what many of us on here have been through and come out the other side. It just doesn't feel as if you will at the time.
It's not "all this medication," believe me. It is serving to get you over a challenging time. You need your sleep to manage the day The diazepam needs to be taken regularly not on an "as needed" basis. Trust your GP. You are having the right treatment but just need to continue with it without worrying about dependency etc. You need to accept this help because it is all part of the recovery package.
You're not rambling..You're in genuine distress but what you are experiencing is what many of us on here have been through and come out the other side. It just doesn't feel as if you will at the time.
Thank you, I really appreciate your continued reassurance. It makes me feel less isolated. I know deep down that it’s anxiety and depression and it will pass. I am just astounded by had bad your mind can make you feel.
Oh yes...Your mind can take you to terrible places but the trick is to remember this and not to be frightened by thoughts which are not based on fact.
Normalising anxiety can take the sting out of it. Understanding what drives anxiety is also key. I think finding a therapist who you can gel with once you are feeling a bit more settled will be a very positive move and you will be taking control back. Feeling out of control is horrible but it is an illusion.
Oh yes...Your mind can take you to terrible places but the trick is to remember this and not to be frightened by thoughts which are not based on fact.
Normalising anxiety can take the sting out of it. Understanding what drives anxiety is also key. I think finding a therapist who you can gel with once you are feeling a bit more settled will be a very positive move and you will be taking control back. Feeling out of control is horrible but it is an illusion.
Yes, I did have a consultation with a therapist yesterday who uses mindful based therapy approaches. I have no idea what type I need but he seemed to think he could help and specialises in anxiety and panic.
Yes, I did have a consultation with a therapist yesterday who uses mindful based therapy approaches. I have no idea what type I need but he seemed to think he could help and specialises in anxiety and panic.
I'm pleased you've chosen someone. Give it a few sessions and see how you respond? You are actively working towards feeling more in control and more able to cope with getting through the hours. You've made some positive choices and have got psychological and pharmaceutical support. You've got access to MH professionals over the weekend should you need it via the crisis line and you have a supportive family behind you who love you and want you to get better.
Sorry to hear you are struggling. I’ve been through it many times. It’s extra difficult with the added pressures of a young toddler. I was on citalopram previously. As I started it made my anxiety 😟 get worse for 4 weeks. Less sleep too. Then it clicked in and I calmed down. Ditto on a dosage increase. So be kind and caring to yourself. It’s not your fault and we are not put on earth to feel this way (as my former GP said once). It made me cry and cry. There is so much to figure out about why you are struggling.
Sorry to hear you are struggling. I’ve been through it many times. It’s extra difficult with the added pressures of a young toddler. I was on citalopram previously. As I started it made my anxiety 😟 get worse for 4 weeks. Less sleep too. Then it clicked in and I calmed down. Ditto on a dosage increase. So be kind and caring to yourself. It’s not your fault and we are not put on earth to feel this way (as my former GP said once). It made me cry and cry. There is so much to figure out about why you are struggling.
Thanks Rad. Sorry you’ve had to deal with something similar. I’m still really struggling. I had to go to a and e on Friday. I was just walking around Bristol in a desperate state and a stranger stopped to see if I was ok and I broke down. She walked with me to the hospital. It’s strange as I felt calm as soon as I was there and got a day or so after and then it just bites back again.
That's a lovely empathetic message from Rad..I'm sorry things are so distressing for you, Mr P. There are still some good samaritans about and maybe this lady knew just what you were going through? I know that I would. I would say that you won't find a solution at A&E, only a long wait and a chat with the psych liaison service plus some leaflets to take away..if you're lucky
Have you had any more sessions with the private psychologist? I would agree with Rad in that there must be a root cause to all this which has lead to your current despair. It's a good sign that you had a few days break from the intensity. Yes it does bite back-you are not unusual in this. Maybe have a chat with your GP about the incident on Friday? Do you actually receive a service from your community mental health team? If not would you feel safer asking for a referral?
That's a lovely empathetic message from Rad..I'm sorry things are so distressing for you, Mr P. There are still some good samaritans about and maybe this lady knew just what you were going through? I know that I would. I would say that you won't find a solution at A&E, only a long wait and a chat with the psych liaison service plus some leaflets to take away..if you're lucky
Have you had any more sessions with the private psychologist? I would agree with Rad in that there must be a root cause to all this which has lead to your current despair. It's a good sign that you had a few days break from the intensity. Yes it does bite back-you are not unusual in this. Maybe have a chat with your GP about the incident on Friday? Do you actually receive a service from your community mental health team? If not would you feel safer asking for a referral?
Hey Pulisa, hope you are well. Thanks for your message.
I think it’s the face to face side of a and e that I found solace in. I’ve used the crisis line, spoken with doctor and have had two zoom sessions with a psychotherapist, I just find it so hard to connect in 2d. I’ve been reading about the nervous system and polyvagel theory which kind of explains the human connection and safety I’m seeking.
I’ve got a call with community team this week. I now keep worrying social services are going to take my daughter away because I expressed desperate thoughts at the hospital.
Jonny
Please don't worry about that, Jonny? I'm sure they'll know like we do that you're a great father; sure you've got problems, but you're actively seeking help. I think your family are also basically supportive?
There's absolutely no need to torture yourself with this one.
Please don't worry about that, Jonny? I'm sure they'll know like we do that you're a great father; sure you've got problems, but you're actively seeking help. I think your family are also basically supportive?
There's absolutely no need to torture yourself with this one.
Thank you. Yes they are supportive.
There you go, then, the last thing they do is want to take children away from loving families.
Hey Pulisa, hope you are well. Thanks for your message.
I think it’s the face to face side of a and e that I found solace in. I’ve used the crisis line, spoken with doctor and have had two zoom sessions with a psychotherapist, I just find it so hard to connect in 2d. I’ve been reading about the nervous system and polyvagel theory which kind of explains the human connection and safety I’m seeking.
I’ve got a call with community team this week. I now keep worrying social services are going to take my daughter away because I expressed desperate thoughts at the hospital.
Jonny
Don't worry about social services on that score, Jonny. There will be no question marks over the safety of your daughter. You were discharged from A&E after an assessment. You weren't detained on a temporary section. You aren't considered to be a danger to your daughter's wellbeing. Yes you're unwell but not to the extent that you fear.
Thank you. Yes they are supportive.
But that's not enough at the moment, is it?
Going to A&E is a temporary coping mechanism but it's not the solution and "the solution" is not something which you can just conjure up. It's going to take time, understanding and patience with yourself. You know you have these periods when everything gets overwhelming but you come out the other side and cope with life again. Believe in your power to do this, Mr P? Covid has complicated the face to face appointments system but they may be necessary if the community team recommends them. My son has weekly face to face appointments so it's not an impossibility.
But that's not enough at the moment, is it?
Going to A&E is a temporary coping mechanism but it's not the solution and "the solution" is not something which you can just conjure up. It's going to take time, understanding and patience with yourself. You know you have these periods when everything gets overwhelming but you come out the other side and cope with life again. Believe in your power to do this, Mr P? Covid has complicated the face to face appointments system but they may be necessary if the community team recommends them. My son has weekly face to face appointments so it's not an impossibility.
Yes you are right. I think it’s partly an extreme reassurance/safety thing when I feel no hope. Which I know isn’t helpful long term. Thanks for your input.
You're not thinking "long term" when you're needing immediate reassurance and safety though. You don't think anything other than "help me now", I suspect?
"Getting help" is elusive when you're in mental turmoil. I'm sure you'll have made a "safety plan" with the crisis team? Is it any help or just words?
You're not thinking "long term" when you're needing immediate reassurance and safety though. You don't think anything other than "help me now", I suspect?
"Getting help" is elusive when you're in mental turmoil. I'm sure you'll have made a "safety plan" with the crisis team? Is it any help or just words?
True. My safety plan just like words in the moment. I just don’t know how to make myself feel safe right now.
I think your best bet is to take things an hour at a time. Your thoughts will make you feel unsafe but thoughts are just thoughts...Not facts, not reality.
The mind has the power to generate terror and fear when no actual threat exists. Anxiety can make you feel very unwell and unsafe even when you are actually in your safe place because you are so restless and agitated, low and despairing.
Do you feel able to take any diazepam to help to calm you a bit?
I think your best bet is to take things an hour at a time. Your thoughts will make you feel unsafe but thoughts are just thoughts...Not facts, not reality.
The mind has the power to generate terror and fear when no actual threat exists. Anxiety can make you feel very unwell and unsafe even when you are actually in your safe place because you are so restless and agitated, low and despairing.
Do you feel able to take any diazepam to help to calm you a bit?
Thanks. Diazepam does take edge off but I feel like I’m giving the anxiety more power by shoving pills in my gob.
Rubbish. Sometimes your brain needs a bit of help when self-care isn't enough and it's not enough at the moment so why deny yourself treatment which you have been prescribed?
Thanks. Diazepam does take edge off but I feel like I’m giving the anxiety more power by shoving pills in my gob.
The analogy is if you have a broken leg, you use crutches until you can walk again or take meds for blood pressure or an infection. It's really no difference in why meds are used whether it's physical or mental. I take a plethora of meds for my physical issues. I complained to my doctor about it when he added another last year and he said "Be thankful we live in a time where a little pill can help improve the quality of your life".
Positive thoughts
And it IS all about quality of life and feeling able to engage in normal life again, medicated or not. Your daughter won't be chastising you for taking medication to feel better and calmer.
She'll feel the benefits though.
Hi all. I’m still really struggling. I’m now on the case load for the crisis team as I’ve been having more and more suicidal thoughts. I go and see them most days. I’ve been moved on escitalopram at an increased dose and been given sleeping pills. It’s so tough and right now with no light at end of tunnel with anxiety, panic and depression coming at me, but need to hang in there for my family. My wife is really struggling with it all and looking after my daughter most of the time. Least we had some snow here today.
Hi everyone, I’m just looking for some support. I’m just not sure how to keep going. How have people who have been so low and anxious 24/7 held it together? I feel like I am using all the recourses available - helplines, friends and family, started therapy, medication, my understanding of anxiety and previous cbt. But I don’t feel like anyone understands. I am constantly having suicidal thoughts and feel it’s inevitable that I will have to take my own life at some point. I’m feeling like a burden as I’m just feeling so negative about everything and feel like my wife and family are fed up with this. Anyone else been there?
I have, yes; I first had suicidal ideation age 6. Not sure what to tell you other than the fact that you're asking for help means that you're not ready to give up yet. These things take time; I know there's not much we can do to help but please come to us any time you feel you need it. You'll get there, but have an idea how hard the wait must be for you.
The suicidal thoughts are only thoughts, they're nothing deeper than that. You can let them go.
I have, yes; I first had suicidal ideation age 6. Not sure what to tell you other than the fact that you're asking for help means that you're not ready to give up yet. These things take time; I know there's not much we can do to help but please come to us any time you feel you need it. You'll get there, but have an idea how hard the wait must be for you.
The suicidal thoughts are only thoughts, they're nothing deeper than that. You can let them go.
Thank you. Just having a response set me off in floods of tears. I’m sorry you had to deal with such feelings at such a young age.
Every morning I wake up thinking, right today’s the day and I google ‘easiest way to kill you self’, i feel so awful for saying this.
They're just thoughts. You don't need to act on them, you can let them pass you by. I know it sounds trite, but it can be a comfort, too.
If you're feeling brave, you can try dismissing them and making a deliberate attempt to turn your attention to something else. It's bloody hard work, but it does gradually start making things easier.
They're just thoughts. You don't need to act on them, you can let them pass you by. I know it sounds trite, but it can be a comfort, too.
If you're feeling brave, you can try dismissing them and making a deliberate attempt to turn your attention to something else. It's bloody hard work, but it does gradually start making things easier.
Yes. You are right. My therapist talked about the advisor part of my mind being in complete control at the moment, trying to problem solve my way out of this and that’s why I keep arriving at suicide being the answer. She said the goal is to get my ‘noticer’ and ‘discoverer’ parts more active. So like you say, noticing them but not acting or judging. I am a natural problem solver so this incredibly difficult for me. I am off work at the moment but starting volunteering a few hours a week at my local food bank tomorrow to try and connect and do do something helpful for my community.
Thanks
That's great! Honestly, I know it feels counterintuitive but being around people can really help, purely for the distraction value and the positive feedback.
It sounds as though we have a lot in common. It's taken me a long time to get used to simply acknowledging thoughts without letting them tie me in knots; I still can't always manage it.
That's great! Honestly, I know it feels counterintuitive but being around people can really help, purely for the distraction value and the positive feedback.
It sounds as though we have a lot in common. It's taken me a long time to get used to simply acknowledging thoughts without letting them tie me in knots; I still can't always manage it.
Yes it does. Everything about noticing and acknowledging feels so counterintuitive. Particularly when you are in a deep hole. I am hoping medication will give me a little of space to start working on it more actively.
WILLIAMthedude
04-02-21, 12:25
Hey,
I understand how debilitating these things can be. I think the trick is to infuse your thinking with constructive and meaningful thoughts. Score your imagination and inner-monologue with beautiful and satisfying imagery and ambitions. We sometimes allow our minds to free-write dismal inner-monologues and feel stuck but these thoughts are not the status-quo and shouldn't be entertained. You're a vibrant, charismatic, and important person. Recognise your skills and abilities and set yourself benchmarks for purposeful actions. Pursue hobbies and interests that appeal to you.
There's more to be said.
By all means, reach out on william_taylor@hotmail.co.uk
Happy to discuss it further with you.
Hey,
I understand how debilitating these things can be. I think the trick is to infuse your thinking with constructive and meaningful thoughts. Score your imagination and inner-monologue with beautiful and satisfying imagery and ambitions. We sometimes allow our minds to free-write dismal inner-monologues and feel stuck but these thoughts are not the status-quo and shouldn't be entertained. You're a vibrant, charismatic, and important person. Recognise your skills and abilities and set yourself benchmarks for purposeful actions. Pursue hobbies and interests that appeal to you.
There's more to be said.
By all means, reach out on william_taylor@hotmail.co.uk
Happy to discuss it further with you.
What's with the C&P invites?
FMP
Hi all
I haven't posted for a while, trying hard to move on doing Acceptance Commitment Therapy, but I keep getting weeks of real difficulty. This one has been particularly bad where the fear and depression are completely overwhelming all day. I've had to call the crisis line quite a lot. My family are all really worried, even my therapist said I need to perhaps re-refer to crisis team. With therapy and meds being used, I am feeling even more desperate at times as I feel like I there's nothing I can do to help myself. I am to expecting a magic cure, and Im trying to keep going with stuff and be there fore the people that need me, but life feels nothing but pain right now.
Jonny
Andrewx888
01-04-21, 06:54
There is always a better tomorrow to look forward to. Covid has caused a horrible state for everyone, but once it clears, there are so many thins to look forward to. Think ahead, and not in the past ^^
I wish I could feel this way, I really do. I try. But my mind is screaming ‘I need help now’. And so I can’t see any future at the moment. I don’t see any way out.
I'm sorry you're feeling so rotten right now. You'll be in my thoughts today.
I take it the crisis line are pretty useless and are fobbing you off with platitudes?
I would advise talking to your GP today and getting him to assess whether you need to be referred back to the home treatment team or whatever service you have locally? Are you having regular access to your Community MH team? If so there will be a duty doctor you can ring today.
Thanks P. I’ve tried every avenue. The community team did a triage call a few days ago and now I have a follow up appointment in 3 weeks. My gp is away and the others have just said to wait for community team. I feel like I am buried under a fallen building and everyone I turn to in the nhs just walks away. I just cry all day. I’m so frightened. I don’t know where to turn.
Have you called your local branch of MIND? Apologies if I'm being stupid here, but they may be able to point you towards non-NHS services either for free or that you'd have to pay for.
I take it you're frightened of your thoughts? It's horrible trying to get through the hours like this. Can you talk to your partner about what you are thinking? Really talk to her..
I'd also suggest that you write down everything you are thinking and feeling in a notebook. Just get it out of your head and let her read it.
fizzymoon86
01-04-21, 08:40
Hi Mr P, I haven’t been active in this forum for a while but I couldn’t just read and scroll on by.
I’m so sorry you’re feeling the way that you do. Is there anyone at all that you can speak to today to help you through this? A therapist, any other GP who specialises in mental health at your practice, heck even a friend!
Unfortunately crisis teams don’t actually seem to be fit for purpose these days, I’ve seen too many instances where people are being fobbed off instead of helped. All I can say is keep pushing for help, they are there to help you and you absolutely deserve and need help.
I don’t know anything I can say to make it better but I’m sending you hugs and thinking of you and hoping you start to feel even just a little better soon.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I'd also suggest that you write down everything you are thinking and feeling in a notebook. Just get it out of your head and let her read it.
Ok thanks. I have spoken to my wife a fair bit but she has a lot on with work, looking after my daughter (who has a virus) and her step dad is very unwell and I feel like Im just adding to things. I will try writing something stuff down though -to go through later when Otti is asleep. I know its only thoughts and feeling and it can't kill me, but they can make me feel like my life isn't worth living and the longer this goes on the more truth there is behind this feeling. I just access the person inside to sooth or to anchor myself.
I am just on my own at my work office. I would really like to speak to someone about my medication as clearly its not helping, but I've been told I have have to wait for community team. I feel like going to A and E but I know it wont help.
Thanks you for replying, you are very kind person.
Hi Mr P, I haven’t been active in this forum for a while but I couldn’t just read and scroll on by.
I’m so sorry you’re feeling the way that you do. Is there anyone at all that you can speak to today to help you through this? A therapist, any other GP who specialises in mental health at your practice, heck even a friend!
Unfortunately crisis teams don’t actually seem to be fit for purpose these days, I’ve seen too many instances where people are being fobbed off instead of helped. All I can say is keep pushing for help, they are there to help you and you absolutely deserve and need help.
I don’t know anything I can say to make it better but I’m sending you hugs and thinking of you and hoping you start to feel even just a little better soon.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Thank you, I really appreciate you taking the time to respond. I do have a 'Zoom' therapist who I'c been working with for a couple of months. She is great and we've worked on some good stuff. But because its via zoom and the feelings are so extreme, I don't feel the connection that I need in times of crisis. She going to do some digging to see if she can get someone to speak to me about my medication sooner than the community team.
I have a spoken to a couple of friends and members of family, all have been super supportive and I know I'm cared for. Its not like I don't appreciate everything in my life, I just can't bear living in this state. I feel so so distraught everytime I wake up. The only thing that calms me is lying next to my daughter when she is asleep and holding her hand.
There must be a duty doctor attached to your community team though? I would persist in ringing the team this afternoon before they all down tools for Easter? You'll just get the psych liaison team and a handful of leaflets if you go to A&E. 3 weeks is not an acceptable time to wait when you are so distressed. Please speak to the duty doctor at your CMHRS?
There must be a duty doctor attached to your community team though? I would persist in ringing the team this afternoon before they all down tools for Easter? You'll just get the psych liaison team and a handful of leaflets if you go to A&E. 3 weeks is not an acceptable time to wait when you are so distressed. Please speak to the duty doctor at your CMHRS?
Yes I have done that and my psychologist called them as well and they’ve moved my appointment to tomorrow so that’s a step forward. Thank you
I'm so pleased that this has happened. Tell them everything tomorrow, Johnny and don't hold back. Don't be fobbed off with platitudes. Write everything down that you want to say. Have a plan for getting through Easter maybe with additional medication and please let us know how you are tomorrow?
I'm so pleased that this has happened. Tell them everything tomorrow, Johnny and don't hold back. Don't be fobbed off with platitudes. Write everything down that you want to say. Have a plan for getting through Easter maybe with additional medication and please let us know how you are tomorrow?
Yes I will definitely do that. Thank you and have a nice evening
Thank you..Tomorrow will soon be here and there is hope for better times for you.
Thank you..Tomorrow will soon be here and there is hope for better times for you.
Hi p. I’ve been referred back to the crisis team, mainly to review my medication and monitor and changes. This time when I’m discharged I’ll ensure I’m not just being monitored by my gp and there is better ongoing support.
Although I didn’t feel great under crisis team care last time, I do feel a little better knowing I’ll have quick access to a mh doctor through them.
I think that it's really important to have that access and with all due respect to GPs, they are really not qualified to deal with MH issues which go beyond the mild to moderate range.
Have you got a number you can contact over the Easter weekend should you need support?
I think that it's really important to have that access and with all due respect to GPs, they are really not qualified to deal with MH issues which go beyond the mild to moderate range.
Have you got a number you can contact over the Easter weekend should you need support?
Yes, I have and am going to the crisis centre for a chat today and on Monday. Hanging in there. Have a happy Easter.
That's good to hear. I'm glad you have got some definite face to face contact with a MH professional. It gives you a space in which to talk about anything you need to get out of your head.
I hope it lessens the load a bit and brightens up your own Easter with your little girl.
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