Any other mum's out there as worried as me?

[Pelligrina]

Hi all,

Just wanted to check in and introduce myself. I am the mother of a lovely sixteen year old who has been virtually housebound for a year due to panic attacks. I have tried everything I can think of to help my daughter but so far, nothing much has helped and it has gradually worsened. I am trying to find other mum's who are going through this with their children. It is so isolating. People seem to be very judgmental - there's a sense that its something I've done to make my daughter like this.

Please, do respond - it would be so good to talk to someone who understands.

[seh1980]

hello there,

I am not a mother but I am quite young (24) and I also suffer from panic attacks. It is in no way your fault and all you can do is support your daughter as best you can. The important thing is that she slowly builds up confidence so that she can start to get her life back. Is she scared to leave the house? Has she tried medication or counselling?

Sarah :D

[JPF]

Hello Pelegrina

Welcome to the forum. In no way is your daughter's condition your 'fault' and in no way is it her 'fault' either. Panic Attacks are the result of the body being in a state called 'Flight or fight' and it's thought that it's due to the actions of the limbic system and a part of the brain called the amygdala. It's something that happens to some people, the same as some people develop asthma or any other of the ailments which afflict the human body.

One of the big problems is that people who haven't experienced a panic attack or haven't been close to a sufferer don't really understand the term and think it's just someone being stressed when, as we all know, it's something far more profound and debilitating.

I'm not a mother (or father) myself but I can understand your concerns and fears. The good news is that Panic Disorder responds very well to treatment - this can be in the form of medication (pharmaceutical and homeopathic) as well as in counselling and self-help (in the form of positive thinking). This forum and the parent website is full of information and supportive, understanding people - it's a great place to learn about this condition. It may do your daughter some good to take a look here too, at some point, but I'm sure you'll be able to learn a lot and talk to some great people who can offer advice and experience.

Good luck and I hope your daughter can begin her recovery very soon.

Regards

J

[FAN]

hi why not bring your daughter onto the forum then you can both work together in beating her panic

fan x

[Nell01]

Hi Pelligrina,

i suffer from panic attacks and so does my daughter, she is not as bad as your daughter but she started having panic attacks when she was 22yrs old when she had her first, when she first had them she kept saying she couldn't go out but as i suffer from them i was able to explain to her if she didn't go out she would end up like me and house bound. it took a while and she made an appoinment with the doctors who put her on medication for a short while. she still has them every now and then but now she is able to cope with them.

My daughter was lucky and it was only that i suffer from them that i could help her, but it is NOT your fault it is a medical condition that your daughter has. people that do not understand the condition are very judgemental this is due to not understanding the condition.

i hope that your daughter is able to recover like mine did and always remember you and your daughter are not alone :)

[nomorepanic]

Hi Pelligrina

Just wanted to welcome you aboard the forum.

Would your daughter consider coming here to chat to us as well. It may help. If not can you get her to read some of the info off the website - particularly the First Steps page at www.nomorepanic.co.uk/firststeps.htm

I hope we can be of some help to you both.

Nicola

[razocaine_07]

welcome to the site. For me , as the child, building up confidence bit by bit was really really beneficial. I dont work at the moment nor in education. So i spent my housebound time doing DIY round the house with mum. Just something to be proud of. I know it can be difficult for parent and child but your love for each other will get you through it. Do try and get your daughter on here if she wants to

[clickaway]

Hi Pelligrina,

I too think it would be a good idea if your daughter joined the forum here.

Hopefully, she will soon learn that there's plenty of support around, she is not alone and that its just a nervous reaction and nothing more.

I feel for your daughter as she must feel very isolated, just like I was at 16 for different reasons.

At first, contacting people by staying in will be good. Such as joining this forum, making use of the No Panic helpline and trying to get people she knows to visit. She will then build up the confidence to go out, even on a small steps approach.

Ray

[Pelligrina]

Still not sure I'm doing this right - this is my first attempt to join a forum so really haven't a clue how to respond to people. Just wanted to say thanks t o everyone for being so welcoming and supportive. I have read some of the posts to my daughter and am trying to encourage her to join the forum.[:I]

[FAN]

hi your doing ok i hope having heard some of the stuff your passing on to her she can maybe join herself and make some friends get some tips and advice and might feel better for sharing her experiences you never know she might be able to help some of us

fan x

[bluebottle]

Hi Pelligrina,

Good to have you join us.

I went through similar experiences as your daughter at 16 and although medication helped what really did it was gradually getting out and about. I started going out with my cousins, then met a girl, and after that my life improved 100%.

Why not bookmark this site, tell your daughter it is there, and let her look at the site in her own time. Give her space to take the information in and support her efforts to get well. Most importantly, tell her that she will get better, and this difficult period in her life will end. Also tell her how common her situation is and that there are millions of people just like her.

Oh, and lastly, look after yourself Mum. Your not Superwoman.

Regards,

Blue

[jill]

Hi Pelligrina

Welcome to the site,

Sad:( to hear what you and your daughter are going through right now.
I know how isolating it can be because I have been there.
My daughter PA, anxiaty started at the age of 3 she is now 11. It took
them 3 years before I found out what was wrong:(
Please don't think that you have done anythink wrong to make your
daughter like this because you HAVE NOT. I have found that thinking
like that will tear you apart.
You are a good mother and not only your daughter needs help with
this but you do too.
I never had this site when my daughter was suffering if I did maybe she would have gotten better quicker. My daughter now is alot better, There has been times in the past when I could not see an end to it all.
I found this site back in August 2004 and I was looking because I sufffered myself on holiday in june alot of PA, anxiaty.
This site has been a godsend to me, it has helped me sooooo much.
I am now 100% better
The journey to recover may be long or it may be short but you must always keep in your mind that your daughter WILL get there in the end.
It.s been a hard journey for my daughter and I,m sooo pround of her,
she has worked sooo hard to get where she is now[^]

If you can just give your daughter a big HuG from me and tell her
that with alot of hard work support and time she too can learn how to
feel better. Tell her that she is not alone there are lots of nice people
on here who will help and support her.

I know how your hurting right now but believe me when I say " there
is an end it this.
We are all here for you too.

Thinking of you both

TAKE CARE

LOVE JILLXX

[xlauracx]

Hiya Pelligrina hope your well, just thought i'd let you know I'm 16 and in the same kind of situation, so much so that i thought you were my mum posting!!!!! She assures me you aren't though!!!!! This website and message boards are an excellent source of information that both you and your daughter can benefit from. I'm doing a lot better now than i was a few months ago, and I'm sure with the right kind of help and support your daughter will make a great recovery!!!!!

My mum worries about me as well a lot, which sometimes means she shouts and gets annoyed at me but i know its only 'cos she cares! I have a good circle of friends, and she worries that ill lose them all, and worries about my future because of my rubbish (but improving) attendance at school!!!!!

If your daughter wants to chat then were all here, sitting lonelely by our computers!!!!! Only kidding about the lonelely by our computers thing!!!!!

xxxxxlauraxxxxx

~Laulz~

[lisarose]

Hi Pelligrina, My mum felt exactly the same as you,she felt so helpless that there was nothing she could do to make me feel better and I have since found out that she used to go home and cry because she hated seeing me so low and depressed. She was a huge support to me in the worst time of my illness and she still is and I am so lucky that I was able to move into a house just up the road from her and my dad which was 3 years ago. I too was like your daughter and was housebound for over 12 months as I was so afraid to gou out in case I had a panic attack. It was only through my mum's gentle encouragement that I gradually started to take small steps like going to the bottom of the garden, then going to the top of the road and then I eventually started to increase my outings to supermarkets etc which was really scary at first but I had my mum by my side and she was great and did't mind if I wanted to come home after 5 mins outside. I look back now and feel that I wasted so much time being stuck in that house and I missed out on my son's first year of growing up but I have made up for it since as I hate being stuck in the house now and try to go out as much as possible. I still get panicky from time to time but taking medication was the breakthrough for me as I had always tried many types before but not stuck with it as I was scared it would make me worse. i have been on Effexor for nearly 6 months as last August I was going through a really bad patch of anxiety and was starting to feel myself getting depressed about the symptoms and fearing that I would get as bad as I was before. I decided that it wouldn't do any harm to give it a try as maybe they could be some sort of miracle cure. After about 2 weeks I started to feel like a different person and started to regain some of the confidence I had lost. I started a part-time college course doing psychology which has been really interesting as we have been doing about anxiety disorders, depression, stress etc. I only found this website the other day when i was doing some research for college and it has helped enormously to know that so many other people have been through or are still going through exactly the same thing. If only I had found this website years ago! The best thing you can do for your daughter is just be there for her and support her as much as you can and reasssure her that she is not alone. Please try and get her to visit this website as I am sure it will help her understand more about what she is experiencing. If it hadn't had been for my mum I don't think I could have carried on. I am sure you are doing a great job and I am sure your daughter will come through this with your love and support.
I have an 11 year old daughter and I feel so guilty that she saw me going through all this and I get scared she may go through the same thing.

Be strong,

Love Lisa