joelhall
03-11-07, 19:48
want to give to gemma (ammeg) and most of all laura (lozpop85).:hugs:
after another sleepless night my anxiety has been at fever pitch. however after chatting about my anxiety to gemma everything started to make sense to me. i think weve all been there that point where we just get lower and lower and worry about everything. and thats where i have just been.
ive been depressed and low and constantly anxious for the last 5 weeks to the point where ive got nervous exhaustion cannot relax cannot stop bad thughts and all the rest of it.
and the worst thing ive done is push away the woman i love (laura). i want to make a public apology here now too. i was so wrong and let my anxiety get the better of me. nothing means more to me (apart from neil and will) than lauras happiness.
anyway i digress. gemma you really put things in perspective for me. ive let this rule me for so long and finally things made sense to me, and i was able to step back from the anxiety and my god i cant believe what an idiot ive been.
laura i need to thank you too. noone has ever shown me as much kindness and love as you have. there is now way i can ever thank you enough for all youve done and put up with cos of me:hugs: :hugs: you really have been amazing and you should never feel down about yourself ever:yesyes: . i only wish id thanked you more. but then if i can id like to anything i can to make it up to you.
in case anyone is thinking im going over the top here i want to explain to everyone just how great these two people have been to me.
gemma. you spoke sense to me. sometimes we dont realise just what anxiety is doing to us. ive always focussed on the physical symptoms and worried about dying and not done enough for my emotions. your words sunk in and made me realise what im doing to myself and those around me. anxiety is awful, and its even worse when you dont realise just what it is.
thank you so much gemma, that brief conversation really opened my eyes:hugs: and made me realise how much im missing and what im doing to those i love.
laura. i think everyone here should know just what a wonderful person laura is. i didnt realise until now, even though i love her, bu she really is an angel.
im sure she wont mind me saying this on here, but i think you should all know just how much she has done for me.
this person has helped me when ive been down shes stayed up all night and gone out of her way to help me when all ive wanted to do is give up. but shes never given up on me ever:yesyes: . even when its been too much shes been an absolute saint. she even offered me help to find somewhere to stay and rest. with love like laura has shown me it gives me a fantastic feeling inside that someone can care so much about me. ive never given myself the credit and you always did honey. you make me cry now i realise just want an angel youve been. noone has ever cared abuot me so much. i wasnt prepared for it, but im so glad we found each other. meeting you has been the best thing ive done other than become a dad:hugs:
one of the kindest things anyone ever did for me was that wonderful post the other day. but thats not the first thing. even if noone else had replied that meant the world to me right then because it was from you. youve helped me when im down made me happier when i was up. you have a wonderful gift for that with me and noone deserves thanks more than you for all youve done for me:hugs: . you are a wonderful gift yourself.
i could even say youve been entirley selfless sometimes, and for that i cannot express how grateful i am:D :hugs: .
laura has helped me even when shes been in astate. given so much of her time for me. once she even stayed up til she couldnt keep her eyes open anymore, just because i was down. ive never felt so loved before:hugs:
you will always have a place in my heart honey:flowers: and i ont think theres anyone who knows more about me. ive even let someone in, and im so happy its you.
even when youve had a hard time you make time for me. that is about as kind as anyone can be. youve shown me how to express my emotions, how to look for great things, and made me feel better than anyone else ever has:hugs: . youve given me praise for the smallest things i do, wrote that beautiful thread for me, helped me, challenged me, made me think and feel, helped me open up... are you sure youre not really an angel in disguise:winks:
im probably embarrassing you two now. but believe me its nothing compared to the thanks i owe you both, especially laura. looking over our convos and everything, im astounded just how much you care about me. ive been so blindsighted by anxiety i never let things sink in properly. even now by walking away, youve helped me by making me face up to this and this has helped me no end.:yesyes:
and not only that, but laura has acheived something i bet she never realised. shes made me happy:hugs: . sometimes there are people in this world you meet, who have a profound affect on you. gemma and laura have done this for me. thre is no way i can ever help them enough. the emotional aspect is something ive always had trouble with. but now im even crying:yesyes:
i can now see what you guys mean when you talk about how anxiety affects us psychologically. i realise im not mad.
but i do realise one thing. ive been such an idiot (and no dont say its the anxiety - could i didnt realise that the words never sunk in, hence im an idiot haha).
right now im shaky and weak, but emotionally i feel amazing. i never realised just how much anxiety blurs your perspective.
see even neil is happy^^^^^^:D
ill waffling i know it. im crying with delight now haha. and i just feel i could keep writing about this forever haha.
ill just close by saying this...
even though it may seem somewhat repetitive haha...
gemma. thank you for talking to me and opening my eyes. you have done more good than you realise, really you have. somehow it all just struck a chord with me, your patience and manner what exactly what he doctor ordered. given everything thats happened recently things finally make sense.
laura. i could go on for hours about what youve done for me and what a great person you are, and how happy i am for you being there me.
but i dont have to. all i have to say is, and this is truly truly meant...
YOU ARE THE MOST WONDERFUL PERSON I HAVE EVER MET, AND THERE IS NO WAY I CAN EVER MAKE UP TO YOU ALL THAT YOUVE DONE.
I LOVE YOU LAURA.
i know this new break is going to give you what you need, i can see now how great things are going to be for you. and im so happy that youre going to be happy.
noone could ever take your place in life. you really are amazing:yesyes:
tip for everyone. realise what anxiety is, and take control. sometimes it just takes a couple of angels to show you the way, and in my case ive found them,
i may have said alot, but i really cant find the words to express just what youve done and what laura means to me.
im so grateful i really am and as lionel hampton (who played drums and percussion of course;)) said - Gratitude is when memory is stored in the heart and not in the mind. and for what youve done that is where you both shall stay.
and now if it may please the court...
a toast...
TO GEMMA AND LAURA:hugs: two people well in need of the greatest thanks i can ever give:hugs:
after another sleepless night my anxiety has been at fever pitch. however after chatting about my anxiety to gemma everything started to make sense to me. i think weve all been there that point where we just get lower and lower and worry about everything. and thats where i have just been.
ive been depressed and low and constantly anxious for the last 5 weeks to the point where ive got nervous exhaustion cannot relax cannot stop bad thughts and all the rest of it.
and the worst thing ive done is push away the woman i love (laura). i want to make a public apology here now too. i was so wrong and let my anxiety get the better of me. nothing means more to me (apart from neil and will) than lauras happiness.
anyway i digress. gemma you really put things in perspective for me. ive let this rule me for so long and finally things made sense to me, and i was able to step back from the anxiety and my god i cant believe what an idiot ive been.
laura i need to thank you too. noone has ever shown me as much kindness and love as you have. there is now way i can ever thank you enough for all youve done and put up with cos of me:hugs: :hugs: you really have been amazing and you should never feel down about yourself ever:yesyes: . i only wish id thanked you more. but then if i can id like to anything i can to make it up to you.
in case anyone is thinking im going over the top here i want to explain to everyone just how great these two people have been to me.
gemma. you spoke sense to me. sometimes we dont realise just what anxiety is doing to us. ive always focussed on the physical symptoms and worried about dying and not done enough for my emotions. your words sunk in and made me realise what im doing to myself and those around me. anxiety is awful, and its even worse when you dont realise just what it is.
thank you so much gemma, that brief conversation really opened my eyes:hugs: and made me realise how much im missing and what im doing to those i love.
laura. i think everyone here should know just what a wonderful person laura is. i didnt realise until now, even though i love her, bu she really is an angel.
im sure she wont mind me saying this on here, but i think you should all know just how much she has done for me.
this person has helped me when ive been down shes stayed up all night and gone out of her way to help me when all ive wanted to do is give up. but shes never given up on me ever:yesyes: . even when its been too much shes been an absolute saint. she even offered me help to find somewhere to stay and rest. with love like laura has shown me it gives me a fantastic feeling inside that someone can care so much about me. ive never given myself the credit and you always did honey. you make me cry now i realise just want an angel youve been. noone has ever cared abuot me so much. i wasnt prepared for it, but im so glad we found each other. meeting you has been the best thing ive done other than become a dad:hugs:
one of the kindest things anyone ever did for me was that wonderful post the other day. but thats not the first thing. even if noone else had replied that meant the world to me right then because it was from you. youve helped me when im down made me happier when i was up. you have a wonderful gift for that with me and noone deserves thanks more than you for all youve done for me:hugs: . you are a wonderful gift yourself.
i could even say youve been entirley selfless sometimes, and for that i cannot express how grateful i am:D :hugs: .
laura has helped me even when shes been in astate. given so much of her time for me. once she even stayed up til she couldnt keep her eyes open anymore, just because i was down. ive never felt so loved before:hugs:
you will always have a place in my heart honey:flowers: and i ont think theres anyone who knows more about me. ive even let someone in, and im so happy its you.
even when youve had a hard time you make time for me. that is about as kind as anyone can be. youve shown me how to express my emotions, how to look for great things, and made me feel better than anyone else ever has:hugs: . youve given me praise for the smallest things i do, wrote that beautiful thread for me, helped me, challenged me, made me think and feel, helped me open up... are you sure youre not really an angel in disguise:winks:
im probably embarrassing you two now. but believe me its nothing compared to the thanks i owe you both, especially laura. looking over our convos and everything, im astounded just how much you care about me. ive been so blindsighted by anxiety i never let things sink in properly. even now by walking away, youve helped me by making me face up to this and this has helped me no end.:yesyes:
and not only that, but laura has acheived something i bet she never realised. shes made me happy:hugs: . sometimes there are people in this world you meet, who have a profound affect on you. gemma and laura have done this for me. thre is no way i can ever help them enough. the emotional aspect is something ive always had trouble with. but now im even crying:yesyes:
i can now see what you guys mean when you talk about how anxiety affects us psychologically. i realise im not mad.
but i do realise one thing. ive been such an idiot (and no dont say its the anxiety - could i didnt realise that the words never sunk in, hence im an idiot haha).
right now im shaky and weak, but emotionally i feel amazing. i never realised just how much anxiety blurs your perspective.
see even neil is happy^^^^^^:D
ill waffling i know it. im crying with delight now haha. and i just feel i could keep writing about this forever haha.
ill just close by saying this...
even though it may seem somewhat repetitive haha...
gemma. thank you for talking to me and opening my eyes. you have done more good than you realise, really you have. somehow it all just struck a chord with me, your patience and manner what exactly what he doctor ordered. given everything thats happened recently things finally make sense.
laura. i could go on for hours about what youve done for me and what a great person you are, and how happy i am for you being there me.
but i dont have to. all i have to say is, and this is truly truly meant...
YOU ARE THE MOST WONDERFUL PERSON I HAVE EVER MET, AND THERE IS NO WAY I CAN EVER MAKE UP TO YOU ALL THAT YOUVE DONE.
I LOVE YOU LAURA.
i know this new break is going to give you what you need, i can see now how great things are going to be for you. and im so happy that youre going to be happy.
noone could ever take your place in life. you really are amazing:yesyes:
tip for everyone. realise what anxiety is, and take control. sometimes it just takes a couple of angels to show you the way, and in my case ive found them,
i may have said alot, but i really cant find the words to express just what youve done and what laura means to me.
im so grateful i really am and as lionel hampton (who played drums and percussion of course;)) said - Gratitude is when memory is stored in the heart and not in the mind. and for what youve done that is where you both shall stay.
and now if it may please the court...
a toast...
TO GEMMA AND LAURA:hugs: two people well in need of the greatest thanks i can ever give:hugs: