bg222
13-01-21, 11:07
Not sure if there is a different location I should post this, but I've gone through phases of health anxiety over the years and have felt like I've made pretty decent progress in getting to a point where I can *mostly* manage it when things come up. But this latest one is kind of throwing me off. My child is 18 months and has been having recurrent fevers. He's had them 4 months in a row, either 4 or 5 weeks apart, and they last 3-4 days each time. Because he has no other symptoms with these other than swollen lymph nodes, each time the doctor has wanted to do a number of tests - COVID, strep, and urine analysis to rule out UTI. They've all come back negative. I haven't connected with the doctor yet during this fever episode but my suspicion is something called Periodic Fever Syndrome which I had never heard of before, but in talking about it to people have found 3 different friends/acquaintances who have had children who have had this in their toddler/early kid years. It's basically a fever response that occurs on a cyclical basis for an unknown reason, often accompanied by swollen lymph nodes, sore throat, and mouth sores. The child apparently usually grows out of it, usually in a few years. It's apparently not very common but it seems amazing to me that in just mentioning to a few others, 3 people's kids have also had this diagnosis. In two of those kids, this went on for only 6 months or so and then stopped. In the other, it was more like a year or two I think.
I'm spiraling into health anxiety over this because I feel like there are so many unknowns and what-ifs. What if it's something more severe? What if my child is going to die? How am I going to cope with going through this miserable thing every month with my toddler? He is miserable when it happens, and I have to care for him while also watching my other older son, and my husband often works so much that he can't be around except in the late evenings. I'm also newly pregnant again, and this episode has made me question whether it's even a good idea to have another baby if my one child is going to have this medical condition requiring so much extra care. (We have desperately wanted another baby and are otherwise thrilled to be pregnant, so the fact that I'm scared now about this is especially telling about my anxiety level). I have mentioned on here before I have superstitious anxiety like many of us, I'm sure, and sort of believe "things are out to get me." Like, what are the chances someone with health anxiety specifically will have a kid who has recurrent high fevers, when fevers can be one of the scariest things for parents to watch little kids go through? And now there's no known cause for them? And now I have to go through this every single month?? For maybe years?? Also during COVID when everything is already so overwhelming and there's no social support? It just feels like a cruel joke, like "I deserve this" for being such an anxious person. I know how wrong and perverse that sounds, but I guess that's kind of my underlying issues with shame and feeling like "I will get what I deserve" type of thinking.
Anyways, not sure what I'm even looking for here besides some encouragement. I have health anxiety about my own health when things come up, but it has seemed since having kids that when they are having some type of questionable medical issue, that has been especially hard for me to deal with. Wondering if others on here struggle more with that type of anxiety specifically, and how they have found is the best way to manage it.
Thanks :)
I'm spiraling into health anxiety over this because I feel like there are so many unknowns and what-ifs. What if it's something more severe? What if my child is going to die? How am I going to cope with going through this miserable thing every month with my toddler? He is miserable when it happens, and I have to care for him while also watching my other older son, and my husband often works so much that he can't be around except in the late evenings. I'm also newly pregnant again, and this episode has made me question whether it's even a good idea to have another baby if my one child is going to have this medical condition requiring so much extra care. (We have desperately wanted another baby and are otherwise thrilled to be pregnant, so the fact that I'm scared now about this is especially telling about my anxiety level). I have mentioned on here before I have superstitious anxiety like many of us, I'm sure, and sort of believe "things are out to get me." Like, what are the chances someone with health anxiety specifically will have a kid who has recurrent high fevers, when fevers can be one of the scariest things for parents to watch little kids go through? And now there's no known cause for them? And now I have to go through this every single month?? For maybe years?? Also during COVID when everything is already so overwhelming and there's no social support? It just feels like a cruel joke, like "I deserve this" for being such an anxious person. I know how wrong and perverse that sounds, but I guess that's kind of my underlying issues with shame and feeling like "I will get what I deserve" type of thinking.
Anyways, not sure what I'm even looking for here besides some encouragement. I have health anxiety about my own health when things come up, but it has seemed since having kids that when they are having some type of questionable medical issue, that has been especially hard for me to deal with. Wondering if others on here struggle more with that type of anxiety specifically, and how they have found is the best way to manage it.
Thanks :)