bone cancer worry

[beargirl43]

hello,
a few days ago i noticed there was pain in one specific place at the top of my foot, where there is a slight bump that isn’t there on the other foot. i didn’t think anything of it. yesterday i randomly felt a leg pain in the same leg and touched it to find a hard bump, they don’t necessarily feel like lumps? just bone like bumps on the bone that are painful to touch and there is redness on the area where they are now, but i don’t know if that is because i have touched them quite a bit, despite the redness still being there after 7 hours of sleep. i don’t really remember injuring those parts on the same leg however because of lockdown i haven’t been out to exercise at all and then did a fast walk on the 12th, so 3 days ago? could this have possibly caused them? i am so worried about bone cancer and i don’t know what injury this could be.
this is my first post so i am sorry if i did it wrong:(


edit: just an update, for some reason there are 4 more circles of redness on my leg, but not as much redness on the original bump. these red patches hurt when i press them and overall my leg sort of aches. there are 2 of the red circles on my other leg now but they don’t hurt as much. any idea what this could be?
i counted and there’s 15 of them across both legs where 2 of the 15 are on one foot

[NoraB]

Hi, if the 43 in your username refers to your age - you can look forward to lots more of the same with aches and pains - it's simply a side effect of getting older.

That said, I have a lovely condition called Fibromyalgia - where what you describe is the norm for me. I once couldn't use my wrist for 6 weeks. No injury. Had to wear a support. Then it buggered off. No cancer.

Why are you worrying about cancer? What else is happening in your life, and to who? As in, is someone you know, or close to you, ill?

[beargirl43]

thanks for the reply,
i’m actually a teenager, the 43 is just a random number. i will have a look at that condition thank you.
i’ve always been anxious and my health anxiety developed over the past 2 years. it mostly ranged from worrying about lymphoma, appendicitis, brain tumours, throat cancer and a bone cancer worry 1 year ago and now this.

[Fishmanpa]

As a teen, your age alone dismisses those cancer concerns. Are you seeking help for your HA?

Positive thoughts

[beargirl43]

thank you, i am trying to distract myself but it’s hard. i thought my age would make it more likely and that it’s 2 bumps with redness but i just hope it’s an injury that will go away soon. it’s completely different to the bone cancer worry i had a year ago where my other leg’s knee was constantly hurting, it went away when i forgot about it funnily enough, but occasionally hurts a bit so i probably strain it if i exercise too much.
i don’t know what to do about it, i am getting better and am able to rationalise with myself usually but this time it just feels different, like a genuine fear where i don’t know what else it could be. it definitely got worse because of lockdown, starting in june, but got better from around september, and now spiralling again:(

[Fishmanpa]

Of course no one can begin to guess or diagnose. I'm a cancer survivor and I know that cancer in teens is rare. The statistics alone bear that out. But if you're that concerned, see your doctor. That said, a discussion about your anxiety would be prudent as well. I have a daughter that suffers from anxiety and depression. She came to me and told me what was going on in her late teens. I, along with her mother made sure she got the professional help she needed. She's 27 now. She takes meds and goes to therapy. She has her moments but works hard and is doing well. If you can speak with your parents about it, please do so. If not, speak to your doctor. Better to start dealing with it now than allow it to control your life.

Positive thoughts

[beargirl43]

i am so sorry, i hope you and your daughter have a happy and healthy future ahead.
they do know, yes, but just blaming it on lockdown. this time around in this lockdown i am trying to stop it putting my life on hold, where i am still trying to do what makes me happy in the meantime, because i have found that it has just been that- anxiety. i am just hoping this is the same case aswell, i try to tell myself that i have never been right about my health worries.
the redness has disappeared now after leaving it alone mostly.

[NoraB]

thanks for the reply,
i’m actually a teenager, the 43 is just a random number. i will have a look at that condition thank you.
i’ve always been anxious and my health anxiety developed over the past 2 years. it mostly ranged from worrying about lymphoma, appendicitis, brain tumours, throat cancer and a bone cancer worry 1 year ago and now this.

Ah, ok, so your age alone makes cancer a lot less likely. Also, I always look for a connection - a logical cause of a symptom and I can see one with you straight away - which is that you hadn't done any exercise throughout lockdown - then you did a power walk? Your muscles hadn't been worked for a long time and then you suddenly pushed them hard, so I'm not at all surprised that you have aches and pains now!

My HA developed in childhood - a lot earlier than my teens - and I only learned how to control it within the last few years, and I'm 50. If I knew about anxiety then, what I know now, I could have saved myself a mental breakdown, so you need to get some help for this.

I'd be interested to know a little history from you as my HA came about due to my grandad who had breathing issues. Do you have anybody close to you who is in ill health? Or a parent who has HA themselves? Some people think this isn't important, but I think it helps to understand things..

[beargirl43]

i hope so, i was quite okay yesterday after i posted on here in a helpless panic, but i think some of these comments have helped me. i think i’m just trying to think positively and trying not to obsess.
slightly worried that the foot bump hurts more than it did last night where i thought it was getting better, but with some muscle pains i’ve found that usually is the case for some reason:(

it started in summer 2019 literally a few months after someone i knew being diagnosed with cancer, them being so healthy and it was so unexpected i think it shook me and then my first worry was appendicitis, because i was scared of the pain when it was just a pulled stomach muscle. i worry about losing people i love. in maybe july/august 2019 was worrying about a brain tumour due to constant headaches which was actually caffeine withdrawal. then in november 2019 was the bone cancer worry i described earlier. i think i was fine until june 2020 when i found a weird looking mole but found out it was fine. end of june was throat/tonsil cancer worrying. july 2020 was a lymphoma worry that has came and went ever since that i have to reassure myself i’m fine every time. i think up until now it’s just been going back to worrying about lymphoma and tonsil cancer.
i don’t want this to lead my life, i dread getting older knowing i’m more at risk for certain cancers, and i will no longer have my age to convince me i am fine (except for some cancers more common in children)
i want to be able to have something wrong with me and my first thought not be cancer.

[beargirl43]

just an update, for some reason there are 4 more circles of redness on my leg, but not as much redness on the original bump. these red patches hurt when i press them and overall my leg sort of aches. there are 2 of the red circles on my other leg now but they don’t hurt as much. any idea what this could be?
edit: i counted and there’s 15 of them across both legs where 2 of the 15 are on one foot

[beargirl43]

after some googling i think it’s erythema nodosum, and it could possibly be a sign of lymphoma which i have continuously worried about and now i am terrified

[Fishmanpa]

after some googling i think it’s erythema nodosum, and it could possibly be a sign of lymphoma which i have continuously worried about and now i am terrified

Go see a doctor and let us know what they say. "Told Ya So Gang" on standby....

FMP

[NoraB]

it started in summer 2019 literally a few months after someone i knew being diagnosed with cancer

There's the trigger for your HA.


i worry about losing people i love.

That's completely understandable, and human.


i think up until now it’s just been going back to worrying about lymphoma and tonsil cancer.

Cancer is the go-to disease with HA and it's always terminal. It certainly was with me..

Anxiety can produce literally hundreds of symptoms - many which mimic real disease symptoms. The difference is that cancer doesn't come and go. It grows and worsens until treated..

Most people underestimate how ill anxiety can make us feel, and these symptoms are mostly very real and very physical because it's all connected to the very real stress response. In 2019 something happened which forced you to consider your own mortality. In most people, this will won't be a problem because they won't dwell on it. For those who are anxiety-prone, they will dwell on it. They worry it will happen to them. They trigger the stress hormones and they start to get symptoms, and they don't understand the stress response, so they make the connection that these very normal symptoms equals disease, but every test they have comes back clear - bloods, X-Rays, MRIs, and they are reassured for a while until the next symptom, and then it's onto a new disease..


i don’t want this to lead my life, i dread getting older knowing i’m more at risk for certain cancers, and i will no longer have my age to convince me i am fine (except for some cancers more common in children)

Cancer is the price we pay for the way we live today. All we can do is to try and live as healthily as we can, but, even then, there are thousands (if not millions) of people who did everything right and still got cancer. Also, cancer isn't the death sentence it once was. I know a lot of people who've had cancer, but only two who've died from it. One was my dad, and one was my friend. I watched how she lived from diagnosis to her death and the emphasis is on 'lived'. She packed a lot of living into those last years, and left her family with some wonderful memories. For many people, having cancer 'wakes' them up and helps them to live, and some might say that it isn't the years that you're alive which matter, as much as what you do with those years. A person can live to be 100 years old and not have 'lived' whereas I've yet to see a children's hospice which isn't full of children who are laughing and making the absolute most out of every second of life. It's about perspective..


i want to be able to have something wrong with me and my first thought not be cancer.

Realistically, that's the negative bias - something which all humans have. It's normal to have these thoughts. What's not normal is to fixate and dwell on them, and for this to stop you from 'living'. What you're aiming for is to have these thoughts, but to observe them - as opposed to reacting with fear to them.

When you next have a 'cancer thought' - just take a second. Do nothing. Then take take a deep breath in, hold for a few seconds, then exhale for as long as is comfortable.

Then, observe.

What is your mind saying to you? Is this thought fact? Or is it your imagination?

Where is the evidence for the cancer claim?

If you have a symptom, ask yourself, 'Is there is a more rational explanation?' (as I showed you with the power walking after not using your muscles for so long)

Perspective. Look at the situation as if it was happening to somebody else. If this was a friend or a relative? What advice you give to them? Would you be advising them to worry themselves sick or Google their symptoms? Of course not. Show yourself the same care that you would show them.

Practice self-care and relaxation: be mindful of what your body and mind ingests throughout the day. Eat well, hydrate - don't use stimulants - like caffeine based drinks/foods and junk food in general. Your body is hyper-stimulated because of stress hormones. This isn't harmful, but it will take time for them to settle back down. All stimulants (body & mind) will just keep this going. Think of it like when you have a burn on your skin - you wouldn't put anything hot onto it would you? You would cool it down. You need to be thinking all things 'calm' and 'soothing' and once your body has settled down - then you can slowly introduce stimulants back in..

I was about 13 when I lost my fear of death due to a very profound paranormal experience. HA came back to kick me up the butt when I had my children, but then it was the fear of leaving them, and this was me until I was 47 when I'd had enough of living in fear..

Three years later, I am comfortable with death and dying. I have accepted that, while I have no control over when I die, I do get to choose how I live, and that's as much control as any of will ever have.

Illness doesn't stop people living.

Cancer doesn't stop people living.

It's our own thoughts which stop us from living.

If you haven't already, get some help with this. I don't know how old you are, but speak to your parents and explain that you need a bit of help right now. Or if you're old enough to see (or speak to) your GP by yourself, do so.

A few more things..

You obviously have a very good imagination, and if you are a 'visual' person - use this to your advantage and relax using imagery. Imagine a happy and safe place - somewhere you've been that made you feel very happy - and use it to balance out the negativity. Mine is a beach in Wales. I was 'there' this morning watching the sun come up. You can go to your happy place whenever you like.

Finally, when you are' having a panic' and you're feeling those unpleasant symptoms - remind yourself that this is actually your body doing what it's meant to do. It's just that your brain doesn't know the difference between actual danger and what's imagined - it will react in the same way.

You're absolutely fine BG. This is anxiety, and it can be overcome.