View Full Version : Shakey Hands anyone
Hi All
I suffer from shakey hands when in front of people or a person. It started with shaking when signing a credit card slip. Over the years that came and went. Then after a bad confrontational moment with a friend on a night out I started shaking when holding a drink eg at the pub with friends. This became a problem and I started to withdraw from pub visits. Then in struck while out eating in public, not just with the drinks but holding a knife and fork. If I thought someone was looking at me I could not hold a knife and fork or even a fork only. This became such a problem that I withdrew from eating out. I then had CBT and they said let the shakes happen and they proved that people were not looking at me as I thought and slowly the symptoms of shaking subsided. Its strange It seems to come from making a fool of myself by spilling or dropping something on the floor or me. I still use coping skills or as my Therapist says avoidance techniques these include eating by myself. Keeping people talking so that you dont have quiet moments when eating or drinking. The anxiety then took a turn and turned in to traditional anxiety symptoms and what I would call a mild nervous breakdown. Strangely though my shaking in public took a back seat and disappered for a while.
Now I have mild anxiety symptom all the time and the shakey hand thing even though it was still reduced. I do say I spend a lot of time trying not to show my weekness and so internalise a lot to the point that I cant have a conversation as I am thinking that the people I am with have noticed something about my body language.
Does anyone share my symptoms?
Mee
I get some shakes and think it could be my meds(flupentixol). Sometimes I'll check to think if I've eaten recently as I guess your metabolisim can make you shake if you're low on sugar or something. It can be embarrassing as you might feel people surmise you have the shakes from alchohol withdrawal.
Are you on any medication? I have a tremor in my hands on and off. At times I could hardly hold a cup of coffee. I'm on medication that causes this. Best check with your doctor if you are.
Hi
No medication. Wont touch the stuff. Completley holistic cures only. Its diffinetly delbt with by upsairs. Its very pychological as when I have had a coupcle of sips of a drink the shake goes. Its only the initial start when I could spill some etc... If nobody watches I am ok.
Mee
Hi Mee,
I get shaky hands its a sign of anxiety and its soooooo embarrassing. I also rock and rub my hands together etc when I am really anxious. I just laugh about it now and when I am rocking my kids say I'm on my horse trigger. LOL
TC xxxxxxxxxx
wish i could laugh about my shaking it is from top to toe when it starts but my head is worse it jerks as well so other people notice. this is the whole root of the problem if i could see some amusement in it then i would be halfway cured , anyone else get these strange shakes and tics ?
Keep going
05-11-07, 21:52
Theres only one way to control these shakes and neck twitches or cramps or jerks. Is by relaxation, distraction techniques, gradual exposure to situations where it happens the most. You have to re-learn to relax, you've all done it before, but you picked up these negative actions, you need to get rid of them by retraining the brain.
CBT is brilliant for this, but you need to be commited and give it a chance. It may take a few CBT courses to get yourself to stop these actions.
Stu:yesyes:
Hi Mee,
Yes I have the shakey hands, they come and go and mainly make an appearance at the checkout when I have to hand over money etc or when I'm holding a drink in public but when I'm on my own I'm fine- like you say if nobody is watching I'm ok.
Have you read any Claire Weekes books? She writes about the shakey hands and gives good advice on how to deal with them. Basically you need to stop fighting the shaking and accept them and then you can relax and eventually your shaking will fade (wow much easier said than done at times but if you can follow her advice it will help).
Richie- I also get shaking from head to toe and my head also jerks, I find this hard to accept and deal with as it's as if everyone can see and I don't want everyone to know how nervous and anxious I am, I'm not ashamed of my anxiety and I'm not afraid to admit I'm anxious but I just dont want the whole world and his neighbour to know and judge if you know what I mean.
I do find regular relaxation (muscle relaxation) helps and I'm less shaky if I'm relaxing regularly.
Good Luck
x
littlemiss_sunshine
06-11-07, 23:32
hey mee,
yeh i get shaky hands aswell but not everyday- its so annoying sometimes.
i guess like everything else we suffer from anxiety we need to 'learn how to adapt to it' and it'll just fight off itself.
take it easy hun x
Hi Meewah,
I have had shaky hands since I was 3 when I developed an intention tremor in my hands and feet. Was nothing to do with anxiety then but a lot of people would notice and would ask what I was scared of. Giving people a quick answer such as 'oh they shake when I get tired, something to do with nerves' usually shuts them up and they forget about it completely. No-one will think badly of you for having shaky hands and if anything, if you feel comfortable enough to tell them why then you have nothing to hide?
My anxiety has since made the shaking worse and I suppose I'm lucky that I can blame it on the intention tremor. You could always lie and say u have it too lol!
On the other side of things; using lavender and bergamot oil (either in an oil burner, with a massage or in a bath) will calm the nervous system, possibly reducing shaking. I certainly feel less jittery when I do this.
Good luck with this, I really hope u and everyone else with the same symptom gets through it. xxxx
Thanks Eveyone
Its good to know I am not alone. Once I got it under control I started exposing myself to the worst situations. It does depend on how I feel at the time that is how anxious. I find avoiding looking at who is in the room works. Once I have broken the ice,excuse the pun, that is taken a drink and its all gone well then I don't seem to suffer and can relax. If I shake and spill some of my drink and then think that someone who I am with has noticed me shake I find it hard to continue drinking in the presence of that person, friend or not. The worst I have been was a business social meal and I thought someone had seen me shaking when eating my starter that I was so self concious I made an excuse that I felt ill and left the building as I knew I would not be able to eat my starter without making a comlete fool of myself. It makes me feel bad just thinking about it.
mee
I do say I spend a lot of time trying not to show my weekness and so internalise a lot to the point that I cant have a conversation as I am thinking that the people I am with have noticed something about my body language.
Claire Weekes spoke about shakey hands in one of her books. Her basic approach to most problems is acceptance, and the shakey hands is a good example of how it works.
Say you're out with friends, or even worse, on a date. A little nervous, and your hands begin to shake a little. So what happens, you immediately become more tense and embaressed so you try to hide it. In doing so, you're fuelling that tension and you shake more.
If you're just to accept that sometimes you shake, and maybe people will notice it, but so what, then let yourself shake, that is when it begins to ease. When you become comfortable with your own shaking. Your only fear is that someone will see you and when you address that issue by letting them, you've got it cracked.
At the time I read this, I was kinda 'well yeah, but it's not that easy'.
But a funny thing happened. I noticed that a few of my friends would get shakey hands a lot. But they didn't hide it. And did people laugh at them? No. Did people notice it? Yes. In reality, I think not only me, but other people who noticed it built something of an admiration for that strength of character of someone who doesn't care if they shake or not. So long as they go out and do what they set out to do without any fears holding them back. It's something to look up to, not to be frowned upon. It's not a weakness. It's a real genuine strength to show it and not hide, one which people can clearly see.
After that I became much more relaxed about my own shakey hands.
Hi,
I do agree that Claire Weekes advice is the best way to cope with the shaky hands. When I have been at the checkout and I start worrying about shaky hands I instantly feel myself start to react and shake but if I try to accept them and “let myself shake” and try and take on the "who cares if I shake or not” attitude I can relax and the shaking doesn’t seem as bad.
As we start to accept that our symptoms, whether it be shaking or something else, are part of our anxiety and we don’t need to be frightened of them we can lose the fear of them. The fear feeds our symptoms so try not to be frightened of the shaking and as Mico says it's a real genuine strength to show it and not hide it.
I do find this so hard though as when my anxiety is high I find it so hard to think rationally and just get myself worked up into such a state, if I can work on calming my thoughts I know that the facing, accepting, floating, and letting time pass advice that Claire Weekes advises would work!
x
Yes I get shakey hands and sometimes it feels like my head is shaking ,lol.
Ive started taking propranalol again and this time (only 10mg) twice a day , its really helped with the sakes and sweating . Maybe you could try it ?
Thanks.
Mico - You are right, what is strange is that when out with friends you just want to relax from the anxiety and have a chat and that desire makes you be aware of the possibility of shaking. The shakes if I let them get on top of me cause me to splill or even have the inabilaty to hold an object that needs care and attention eg signing a credit card slip or holding a cup of T. You are right it is easier with people who know I shake. Its difficult if I am with someone new. It is like breaking the Shaking Ice. If I feel people are pay
ing far too much attention to my shakes then I get worse.
Mirry - Thanks but tried propropanol and they do ease my my symptoms but the shaking seems to be resiliant. Shaking when holding a cup or glass in front of people I dont no was my first warning sign that I was begining with higher than normal anxiety. Strangley when my anxiety was at its highest my hands were ok. It is as if the anxiety had a differnt focus.
Thanx for the advice everone.
Love
Mee
Hi ,I get shakey hands. I just wanted to ask Mirry, I take 40mg propanolol when needed, I does work a bit but doesnt make me feel too great. Do you think 10mg would be better and i suppose they work less than the higher dose. Do you take more than 1 a day? Why do you take a different dose now? Sorry for all the questions, just not sure which dose would suit me better.Love Josephine.x
Hi
I get shakey hands especially when im being watched doing something...being a beauty therapist this means painting nails or applying eyeliner but I just make a light comment about it then move on, most people dont mind at all. When i do it in shops, I just forget about it, having worked in a clothes shop and seen lots of people signing for stuff i know there are great number of people who suffer from shakey hands and it has nothing to do with anxiety. No normal nice people will comment on it, other than a quick 'you ok?' if its really bad!
I find a deep breath and shake your hands out works well.
x
I think it is all about expectations. I am a six foot five male and am meant to be full of confidence and social energy. All I want to do is hide out of the way of social situations where I feel exposed. Drink is a great prop but sadly I feel terrible and more anxious the next day so it ain't worth it. Anyhow I cant drink when in a meeting. This problem has know become self perpetuating and I need to break the cycle. I just can't bring myself to face the humiliation on a regular basis. I feel so self aware all the time.
Mee
I suffer from shaky hands on and off. one day i was at the supermarket checkout with my hubby, my auntie was actually the cashier but he said right out loud, look at her hands shaking. i have never been so mortified in my life and was really hurt that he could have said it so loud in public when i was already conscious of it.i also suffer from sweaty hands and feet.
Dear Mico i haven't read Claire Weeks but the advice she gives is exactly the same as the one given by my CBT therapist when i first got ill when i was 19, what he said helped me a great deal and cured me or rather helped me cope with my anxiety for many many years, i was always frightened of my hands shaking but one of my "exposures" was to actually make them shake on purpose and then record other peoples reactions, after doing this regularly and other exposure treatment i could honestly say i was 90% "cured"
All these years later and second time around i should be doing the same!!
Will read Claire Weeks book, sounds like i much need to!
Richie x
I get shaky hands a lot with anxiety. I usually try to move my hands around so people won't see them shaking. Then it usually passes.
It's comforting to know that so many other people suffer from shaking hands.With me it's a problem in a crowded room and when I'm preparing/food and drink for people other than members of the immediate family.I know it is a case of mind over matter and i get the better of it more often than not. However the anticipation is always there. why the fear does only sometimes become a reality I do not know. Currently I'm trying to get into a "so what" mindset so I won't worry about what is so unimportant and who notices or cares anyway?
knightbabe
22-01-08, 16:29
My hands shake as I first wake up. They shake on and off during the daytime. It's more noticeable when out and about amongst people. Although I have put it down to the meds I am on.
Ok Thanks
I went out after not much problem going out with my friends and having a pint but this time when I got in the pub it was very busy and we were with a group. We ordered a drink at the bar and I felt very very self consious, I decided that I felt too anxious to take a drink of my beer as I wanted to relax after a hard day Iand I did not relish the idea of a group of mates asking me what was wrong so I proceeded to say I did not feel so good and wasn't going to drink my beer. I know if I had got some isolation I would have started drinking it without people there and without a shake but that was not meant to be. I said " lets go outside" I took my beer a bit shakely and started to go outside but people wanted to keep close and talk to me so no luck their. I decided it was too busy to get "me time" and gave it up as a bad job. Anyhow a friend got me a glass of orange instead, no luck there either. The bar staff had filled it to the brim. I ended up hiding it so I looked like I had drunk it. I felt completley self consious and dizzy now. All I wanted to do was get out of there.
Strange how one trigger " a busy pub thought" caused me to have such a anxious and C**p night. Problem is it tends to compound itself and I am know consious of the next pub visit. Just when I thought I nearly had this one in the bag.
I know what will happen now as i have done it before. I will have a drink before going out to ease the nerves then hopefully the inhibititions are less.
Take care all
Mee
If its any consolation I've never beaten the same problem that you describe in twenty five years. I manage it by a pre social gathering drink. If this is not practical I do suffer the pain but I would rather experience the comfort of the pre social gathering drink.My attitude is this is the way it is so it doesn't get me down. If the worse happens I suffer the shakes which disappear after a couple of swigs of the drink anyway.this problem has not prevented me from pursuing a career ,bringing up children etc.To me it.s never been different from so many other crosses thatpeople bear in life eg all the physical disabilities.
Best of luck
i got a shakey and sweaty hands too...:weep:
Not so much sweaty unless really anxious.
I was at the bar recently and I began thinking about the situation and the people around the bar and I ordered 3 Pints and I had to carry each one with both hands to my friends. I felt like an idiot!! It makes me not want to show my face again in embarassment.
Mee
Hi there Meewah
y'know thats the worse thing you can do, i mean not go back and show your face again. Cause as you know it will be avoiding one thing and then another and before you know where you are, there u are sitting in one room with the curtains closed going slowly mad and only the computer to communicate with!!! :) :)
So get back there where you belong, with your friends, have a pint and you will soon forget what all the fuss was about :) :) :) bet your friends didn't notice x x x x x
All the best Richie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I agree with Richie's sentiments but I do have your problem so I know how hard it is.I think the key is you thought about the situation-and thereby willed it to happen. I bet it doesn't always happen, only when you think about it and anticipate it. If I don't think my hands will shake they don't shake.When you're getting the drinks try to take in the sights and sounds around you and not concentrate on you.If your hands did shake did anyone notice?On occasions in the past my hands have shaken when I've been preparing and serving drinks with my wife present and when Ichecked with her afterwards she hadn't noticed. If anyone did notice so what!!!
Regards
John
I think the key is you thought about the situation-and thereby willed it to happen. I bet it doesn't always happen, only when you think about it and anticipate it. If I don't think my hands will shake they don't shake.When you're getting the drinks try to take in the sights and sounds around you and not concentrate on you.
John
Thanks for the support.
Thats exactly how it happens. It seems to been linked to self concious feelings. Even though I avoid eye contact with anyone at the bar except the staff, it feels as if the whole pub is watching me carry each drink I also find I tune out of the noise in the pub and holding on to the drink which makes it seem as if the whole pub has gone quiet while I am carrying the drink. I am also consious if anyone laughs as I feel they are laughing at me which makes me feel even smaller. John, you are right, all this is in my mind I am not sure that this is what is happening it just what my mind acts out. I tried making eye contact in the past and it only made people look and make me even more self concious. You are right though it does not happen every time, it depends how self consious or confident I feel at that time. I will go back as it is my favorite pub, I wont let it rule my life, it is all anticipatory anxiety that starts the thoughts.
Thanks for the feedback.
Mee
Glad to hear you will continue to confront your fears. You don't need to make eye contact with people- just take in what's going on around by way of distraction.Someone suggested to me last week that is helpful to look at people and just imagine what they may be suffering-I guess again it's all part of looking outside rather than inside.
Best of luck
John
Glad to hear you will continue to confront your fears. You don't need to make eye contact with people- just take in what's going on around by way of distraction.Someone suggested to me last week that is helpful to look at people and just imagine what they may be suffering-I guess again it's all part of looking outside rather than inside.
Best of luck
John
Interesting a buddhist view. I think this view has to be practised as you are absolutely right you have to look at other peoples suffering and this reduces your own. Practice makes perfect and I am practicing its just sometimes I lose sight and remember my own suffering.
Mee
not read the last 3 pages of thread(im lazy n tend to skip to the chase!)
but im getting shaky hands on day 4 of moclomedine(manerix) dont have shaky hands as a rule but i always find every med i have tried on the a/d side makes my muscles stiff n hence causes shaking-i have to up my dose of klonopin to deal with it.
pete
No Cure yet.
I have managed to avoid situations where I have to bear all. My new method is go out with my friends but don't drink. If I don't drink then firstly I wont have to hold a full pint glass and I wont drink just to help my SA. Or so I thought...I went out last night and even though my local was empty I ended up buying a round and delivering the 4 pints to a table 10 metres away from the bar. The first was a slow two hand job but no shakes the second was ok but I was conscious of an audience which made me concentrate even harder of not losing control of the drink which made me carry it with more of a struggle.
Lets put it this way, If I had been someone else I would have stared at that person carrying the drinks as I made it look so difficult and clumsy. I was aware of a couple in the corner laughing and I assumed it was at me. Also the bar mades were looking at me so on the forth drink I knew I had to make an exit so I told my friend that I was just going to the toilet and that they were just finishing pouring his pint. I made a quick exit and had a bit of an escape only to return to collect my change off the bar and leave the final pint there.
I felt tiny, not in front of my friends as they had not noticed as they were too far gone but in front of the bar staff and couple at the bar.
This will make it harder next time.
Help
Mee
flyingguy1984
21-02-10, 17:52
Hi there,
I'm new to this forum and posting so I hope you don't mind me joining late. I too have suffered for years with the problems you have all mentioned. I'm a 25 year old healthy male, generally happy and I've no idea why I have this problem. I've read on this forum that the best approach is to accept the shakes etc, however there are just some situations where you can't do that. I mean if someone hands you a cup of tea on a saucer, if I let myself shake I will simply spill it. My shakes do vary depending on the situation I'm in, and I have got a lot better. For a number of years I would get in a panic when in a queue in a shop as I would hate having to extend my arm to accept change, and also signing for things etc, but thankfully I'm ok now. But when nervous, or feeling under pressure it's just terrible. I don't drink very often, but occasionally I've drank in order to steady myself for a situation, as I've found once I've got a few drinks in me, my hands are as steady as a rock. Is that normal? I mean can it be something physically wrong with me if alcohol can steady me? Or does alcohol just prove that this is all caused by anxiety etc? Sorry if this is a messed up post, I hope it makes sense. Thank you
nicolettapopeta
16-04-10, 22:44
hi all...i'm new here as well :)
@flyingguy funny about the drinking...when i first started seeing neurologists+specialists about my shaky hands a year ago they all asked me if it got better when i was drinking.so i always thought they secretely wanted 2 know if i had an alcohol problem xD till i asked 1. she simply said that there is a string of different tremors (none alcohol related one,like alcoholics-if that makes sense?!) and some of them get worse and others better when drinking.and caus its all connected psycologically as well (like when i'm in a rush and my mind set on a million things and i sign smthg or talk in front of people then i dont shake but when i think "oh god i hope i dont shake"-of course then i shake.) it's normal that u loosen up when having had a drink.last thing on ur mind is bad stuff. so my neurologist always keeps on telling me "girl we gonna get that fixed caus we dont want u to end up an alcoholic" xD
i have essential tremor, which seriously isnt by far any of the worst illnesses and i often feel bad for feeling so sorry for myself if others could die of their illnesses but the thing is it really affects u psycologically.its like an evil circle. --> you shouldnt focus on it, caus then it only gets worse.but its (almost) always on my mind in potential "shaky hand" situations,then it just gets worse,im so anxious i feel like throwing up,it shows in my hands.
taking beta blockers right now.not sure if they really help,its a really low dose anyways caus my blood pressure is really low and that just makes it fall more.any1 else tried them?
social gadfly
21-04-10, 20:02
I'm quite lucky that social anxiety doesn't plague me like many people, however sometimes I do feel overwhelmed. I attended Coachella recently, and despite me being fine the whole weekend, on Sunday night when everyone was exiting, I felt as if I was going to be stabbed. haha, Sounds odd, and I do this odd hand thing, where I make a fist and release it, make a fist and release it quite fast. I suppose that's the closest I've come to shakey hands.
Hi there, I have a similar situation - I tend to blush in front of people, not always but it has become very often at the moment. I blush in front of people I have known for years! It has caused me to avoid certain situations which is not helpful at all. I know that to get over it you have to think positively about it, such as blushing isn't something to be ashamed of, but I just can't get my head to think that way. I'm so embarrassed of it.
Its got to the point where I focus on trying not to blush, so of course I end up blushing. Help! I will be starting group CBT soon, I'm so terrified though, but I know I need to challange myself. I have been given citalopram to help me cope. I want to be strong!
This sounds like what I have. It's called Essential Tremors or ET. Ask your doctor about it.
I went to an interview two months ago with two businessmen and have completed successful interviews in the past. I became a nervous wreck, I started shaking and I couldn't even eat with a fork or hold a glass straight. It was the most embarrassing time of my life and afterwards I had a major panic attack and I almost when to the hospital three times (it lasted 5 hours and took my mind for days to recover). Since then I cannot drink in front of individuals related to work without worrying that I will shake. I also had another shaking episode with coworkers at lunch that was super embarrassing and scary. They did not know what was going on. I have had one major panic attack and two nearly major ones since my interview. I don't know how to drink or eat in public in front of coworkers anymore and I actually avoid lunches now and business informal meetings/get togethers. I am constantly worrying that I will shake and can hardly focus on a conversation. I have since had to hide a meltdown simply typing in front of a coworker. What is going on?
---------- Post added at 01:24 ---------- Previous post was at 01:21 ----------
I went to an interview two months ago with two businessmen and have completed successful interviews in the past. I became a nervous wreck, I started shaking and I couldn't even eat with a fork or hold a glass straight. It was the most embarrassing time of my life and afterwards I had a major panic attack and I almost when to the hospital three times (it lasted 5 hours and took my mind for days to recover). Since then I cannot drink in front of individuals related to work without worrying that I will shake. I also had another shaking episode with coworkers at lunch that was super embarrassing and scary. They did not know what was going on. I have had one major panic attack and two nearly major ones since my interview. I don't know how to drink or eat in public in front of coworkers anymore and I actually avoid lunches now and business informal meetings/get togethers. I am constantly worrying that I will shake and can hardly focus on a conversation. I have since had to hide a meltdown simply typing in front of a coworker. What is going on?
Sman
The pressure of the business meeting seems to have triggered this.
Perhaps you could start having a drink in front of others by choosing a carton of juice with a straw rather than a glass.
Maybe when you start to shake you could attribute it to some illness in the family (Parkinsons?). Just an idea.
Hi Meewah, My husband has what is called a benign tremor. It effects his hands only. More like the shakes. It stops when he is reading a book, or doing jobs and it does not stop him from driving. I know he is embarrassed by it. When he is talking to people too. No mater what medication he has tried it never stops. His mother had the same thing.
Benjammin69
07-04-17, 15:54
Have you tried propranolol? I have the same with my anxiety! I've had to hold a glass with 2 hands, couldn't hold a pen etc but now I'm on propranolol it seems to have helped?
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