Hi Newbie 6th driving test failed !

[Cupcakes]

hi I am new here , I am 33 with two children ten & eight. from about the age of 26 after the birth of my second child i suffered with depression and anxiety /panic . Would not go out as had no motivation whatsoever and fatigue was terrible. Kept on going to doctors crying saying I dont knows whats wrong with me , she kept on saying depression I was saying no .i have nothing to be depressed about, which I know is totally not like that , I was just finding it hard to beleive that yes "me " had depression and I kept thinking you had to have a reason. I cut off from everyone as I couldnt be bothered to maintain friendships. Just went through the motions.
I started taking st johns wort (kira ones ) and they turned my life around literally give them at least 3 months its subtle but does work and I would say i was in quite a bad way, nervous exhaustion shakes suicidal thoughts etc. You just dont care when you are depressed. Even though mood is fine now and I no longer have taken st johns wort for 6 months just a multi vitemin and fish oils, I suffer with anxiety/panic/pmt. its been made worse by the fact I have just failed my 6 th driving test in the space of 3 months(last 2 driving tests I only got 2 minors as well)( I was failed for stalling on one of them) when I am told I have failed I burst into tears and it really does affect me and I think the repeated failure of it has affected me as I am quite nervy now. My seventh one is due now within the next two weeks and I get these ruminating thoughts of being a failure and feel like I will never pass . I would like to go for cbt and I have bout Kalms and am scared to take them. I have anxiety/panic even when I am not as stressed as well. I get panicked in supermarket yesterday and I went to toilets and soaked my arms in basin with cold water and my heart was thumping. It stops me doing anything , I have to walk to get my children from school everyday 2 miles there and 2 miles back and this feels me with panic , I dont want to give in to this but that terifies me , I cant relax in social situations , will kalms help me I havent had one as I am scared too. I cant go to hairdressers as I hate being tipped back in to basin I have my hair cut at home where I can wash it in shower. Dentist is the same I have to say can you sit me up its ike I am scared of everything and I have loads of palpitations and i feel uptight

any advice please cant help thinking

[sagey]

Hi Cupcakes and welcome. I sympathise over the driving test because you get that feeling that your in a cycle of failing. Is it possible for you to try a different test centre from the one you've used so far? A fresh perspective could be helpful. Have you ever driven an automatic? At least they don't generally stall because there's none of the gear changing to do. I did try Kalms briefly but not at the suggested dose which I think is something like 2 tabs3 times a day. I felt an effect from them but hated the taste they left in my mouth.
Good luck with your next test. Be sure to come back and let us know.

[honeybee3939]

Hi Cupcakes

Welcome to NMP, its lovely to see you here, im sure you will get some great advice, support and make new friends too.:)

Make sure you check out the Symptoms, How to Cope and First Step pages also that are sittuated on the left hand side of this page, im sure they will help also.

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxxx

[PUGLETMUM]

:) hi cupcakes,

sorry your suffering right now,lots of us on here will identify with what you are experiencing, sometimes its like reading about ourselves!!! anyway firstly a big well-done for you for managing to keep going despite feeling like this!!! that takes some doing -and its something that alot of members really dont give themselves credit for-mainly because they are so low, they cant see how strong they are!! once you get your head above water you will realise just how well youve been doing to live with this,then you may get mad and decide enough is enough!!!!

this is where i think self-help comes in - you can get cbt privately as i have done this year,as the nhs never gives you the time you need,but it is pricey,but i would say well worth it. basically you get to learn how to turn all of the negativity back into positivity,please just think about it- if you can make yourself feel so bad by ruminating and worrying, it stands to reason you can do the reverse!!!! even just accepting that fact can make you feel better. but you cant get better overnight, it is a long complicated process that got you to where you are and its quite a long process to get out of it,believe me it can be done. im still struggling myself but i feel ive moved onto the other side of the scale now,where im willing to tackle it,and i can see that there is another way to think, this negative thinking is just a very very bad habit, but it is one you can break.all the best to you, tc,emma

[manmoor]

Hi Cupcakes,

A big warm welcome to you. xx

[Lindalou64]

Hi Cupcakes And Welcome To The Site......linda

[chucklehound]

Hi and welcome to NMP :)

[Cupcakes]

Thank you for all your kind welcomes :) ,thanks sagey the other test centre is worse and lots of people fail before getting out of test centre virtually as it is next to a marina development with lots of roundabouts and a busy supermarket too!cant do an automatic as I need to share a car as financial restrictions cant afford two. i will definately let you know how i get on it saturday morning not long away had to look as I have tried to forget about it!
Emmas you are so right about turning negative in to positive its so easy everyday to be negative and it made me think reading your reply. from the point i wake up I look in the mirror and think to myself my , my eyes have dark circles, or I have lots of spots today, look I am ageing , or look at my wobbly tummy and thats even before i have cleaned my teeth too. I will definaetely try cbt but will have to go nhs route ,untill I pass my test and not wasting more money on lessons. I am lucky i am not working at moment as i am doing a one evening a week college course( which i battle to get through as I alway feel anxiety ), but i would love to work but cant when I am the way I am. you sound like you are tackling it well. I will definaetely look at trying to be more positive , I cant imagine looking in the mirror and thinking "right I am beautifull !", I should try it though or look at my nice booty!. I still have a good sense of humour so at least I have not lost that !
xxxxxxxxxx

[PUGLETMUM]

:yesyes: there you go then cupcake,so you do know how to be positive!!! okay so maybe you cant be positive about an imperfect body? but then you have to change your expectations as well(this has helped me loads,as mine were totally unrealistic),and the people with perfect bodies etc are models and actresses,us mere mortals just have to ignore all the problems we have and just be positive.

also,look at how you are sticking with your driving tests and you do an evening class even though you feel like poo!!!! i think the reeason why i sound so positive is because ive just come through an 8 month depression,so im ready to get on with things now - but the crucial thing is the change in thinking and also like i said lowering your expectations of yourself and also everyone around you. one of my biggest problems has been this continued belief that my husband cant love me /care if he cant take away my anxiety!!!:wacko: how crazy is that? but once you get out of the mess that your in, you start to see how silly all of these issues are and that mainly your disordered thinking is causing them. i dont think you have to wait for nhs cbt i think there are cbt based self-helpbooks out there,maybe some of the others could help here with recommendations? anyway you sound better than you think you are, so hopefully you can work on lowering your anxiety and then things will become clearer/ tc emma

[Cupcakes]

Yes i agree today i went to get the children from school today stepped outside and my anxiety levels rised heart thumping , warm feeling in my central chest, feeling hot ,on edge, walking everything around me overwhelming , a sort of giddy feeling. I am at home now and that feeling lasted approx 45 minutes the whole amount of my walk to school. I bused back . My muscles ache so much where they are so tense, I dont know what I have is it anxiety/panic/agraphobia . I just dont know what exactly ,is it the whole combination?. It is affecting me every single say at present, when I get to the school I dont want to see any of the other mums as it feels like my eyes are going to pop out their sockets where I am so anxious/panicked. I meet my kids the other side of the school where there are no other mums and dads so i dont have to see anyone while I feel like this. I have a group of regular friends who i meet up with everyweek and they know what i am like, and i am ok sat with them . Does anyone know what disorder I have ??
many thanks

[Cupcakes]

I feel so sad by having to deal with this and I just want to feel at an even keel with life and not be so uptight from the constant anxiety that has this hold over me in my mindset. It affects me and stops me from enjoying things and has stopped me doing so many things daily . I want to feel different .

[mumof4]

hi welcome i have suffered from panic attcks since i was 11 i was so bad i couldnt go out eventally went to a doctor and started councelling and for the past 2 years ive been alot better and i havent been to this site for a long while as i was doing great.

and when i was doing so well i did the impossiable somehing i thought i could never do and that was learn to drive and i did and in february this year i passed my test and i felt great its the best thing i have ever done it took me 3 times to do it but iwas so proud of myself.

keep on in there and u will pass,

[nomorepanic]

Hi and :welcome:

Lovely to see you here and hope we can be of some help

[Nibbles]

Hi Cupcakes and :welcome:

You'll get loads of advice and support here while making new friends along the way.

Take care,

Mike :)

[groovygranny]

Hello Cupcakes:welcome:to you!

Aaw, I so sympathise with you - when I was ill I couldn't believe it when my doc told me I was depressed either....but I had to accept it in order to be treated for it. Took me 4 times to pass my test and I dread the dentist each time I go.

You'll find plenty of help and support here, so I hope you'll feel encouraged by that!

Pleased to meet you!

:flowers:

[trac67]

Hi,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends

Take care

Trac xxx

[Cupcakes]

hi many thanks for the welcomes its a great place to come for advice. I had one Kalm this morning and one at lunchtime, as I dont like taking things if i think I am going to panic about how they make me feel. Too early to say if its helping but anything is an improvement for me. Next step is to get some cbt as I want to fix this and change my thinking

many thanks

[Paddington]

Hi hun..just clocked your thread ..I HAVE BEEN WITH OUT MY PC FOR AGES..AGH!!:ohmy: How are you doing hun?I so empathise with the driving tests..i passed on my 6th attempt..i too failed my 2nd one simply because i stalled..then panicked and did not know what to do..sound familiar?I got into a very negative pattern of fear and despair..i still struggle with it now hun:lac: Any hoo,dont give up ,you can do this it is just the luck on the day ..i really believe this to be true:) Lovely to meet you hun.Love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxx

[vernon]

I wonder if you failed or they done there qute for the day? I often wonder about this as I have known some real good drivers fail over and over again and my youngest son must be oe of the worst drivers on the road and he passed first tim. I think it just depends who takes you, they prefer moen or women, time of the day and what mood they are in. My sisters hubby passed on his 27th try lol. dont worry and dont take it personal becouse the time you think you done loads of mistakes and do bad you pass. Take care, Vernon

[kittykat]

Hi there cupcakes

:welcome: to the site, you should be proud of yourself having the courage to sit a driving test, ive been thinking about sitting my test for over 2yrs now and still haven't done it !!!!!!!!!!!!!! xx

[PUGLETMUM]

:yesyes: hi guys, well cupcakes DID pass her test:yesyes: i hope she doesnt mind me posting for her:blush: but it just goes to show that even though anx makes you feel poo, you can still acheive stuff:yesyes:

[Paddington]

FAN-BLOOMIN-TASTIC:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: OH IM SO THRILLED FOR YA HUN..OH I REMEMBER THAT FEELING HUN..CLOUD NINE:yesyes: :yesyes: DO TELL US ALL ABOUT IT HUN..WELL DONE:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :yesyes: :yesyes: lOVE PADDIE.XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[Pink Princess]

hey cupcakes xxx

http://www.gregorygraphics.com/images/welcome_orchid.jpg

take kare xxxxxxx

[sagey]

Congratulations to Cupcake !

[bluebottle]

Brilliant. Well done, what an achievement!

[Cupcakes]

hi everyone thanks so much for your lovely posts , sorry I havent replied sooner.
On morning of test I was very jittery being test no 7 . I was crying and in a general state prior to even leaving the house. I had to keep going toilet as my nerves were awfull. Husband was like "my god " you are in a state. I took two kalms and arrived at test centre wearing giant sunglasses hiding my tears trying to get myself together. examiner went through usual stuff and test began, felt better once concentrating. Got to end of test switched off engine, I just stared ahead as sometimes when i thought I have passed I had not . he said congrats , tears justs streamed down my face , I was having palpitations and could hardly catch my breath. He did say I only just scraped in , even though i got 8 minors. I couldnt drive for 2 days as I was so emotionlly drained , but I am really chuffed and its given me a feeling of acheiving something.
at moment I have gone back on st johns wort , think its driving on my own , its quite scary when you are a new driver. Am taking magnesium ok, primrose oil , multi vitemin. As I feel all the stress of failing has taken a toll on me , I am I beleive in an anxiety disorder situation, as I have stopped going out , panic in lots of situations. I just want to feel normal. I need to see doc but am having anxiety about getting their. Feeling quite nervey, I tried out the eft on www.tapping.com (http://www.tapping.com) , and need to help myself more than what I am as I am avoiding life
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[PUGLETMUM]

:yesyes: hi cupcakes, you recognise what your going through, and that is a big plus for you:yesyes: you can and will get better, but these habits are hard to break:lac: :weep: :wacko: keepcoming on here and you will get plently of info and support,so you will be able to do it yourself. ive just finished 15 sessions of cbt and my therapist said id done loads and loads of 'work'already through self-help. so it is very very important to understand yourself and your condition,and also to keep connected to people who understand? again a very big WELL DONE for passing your driving test - my neice failed hers on monday and she DOESNT experience what you do, so it goes to show that although you feel dreadful you CAN still do things, over time with your coping skills the anxiety WILL go down!!!! bit like i keep saying to EVERYONE dont make it a demand on your brain, because that actually INCREASES the stress further:wacko: just have faith that the anxiety CANNOT last forever, as soon as you start to tackle the irrational CATASTROPHIC thoughts the anx levels subside, you will get achink of light and then you will be on your way, you will see that your thoguhts are setting the anxiety off,and you have to get off the treadmill for the anx to go down:yesyes:

you can do it, i hope this helps you?tc of yourself,:flowers: emma

[Cupcakes]

Hi many thanks Emmas , sorry to hear your neice failed test . Its horrible as you want it with such anticipation and then its a huge downer when you just dont get there. But everyone copes differently first two times it rolled of my back the fails. Has your CBT helped a lot more than anything else? I drove 12 miles to my mums and back today well tonight ! , stopped in sainsburys at about 9 oclock felt a bit panicy and just rode with it as best as I could , didnt run. Went and got some walnut whips ! , and went to the pharmacy section and bought two packets of sainsburys st johns wort as have heard good things about them, took the last two on shelf so they must be popular. On tuesday i was tearfull and crying and had sky high anxiety , I got really upset when i was with my friends, and burst out crying just sobbing as a lot of the time I try and put a brave face on things. Well they were brilliant and prior to that they knew I was a bit tearfull and came and picked me up from my house in their car. I spilt it all out and said I was scared to do anything and had developed a fear of going places , anywhere. They were very understanding and it was a huge weight of my mind and helped me relax more even though I felt crap. Its times like these you need good friends and beleive me I know it makes you isolate yourself sometimes. You are so right your faults do set the anxiety off, you dont always know what you are thinking as subconsciously we think things without playing them in our minds. Thanks Emmas for the advice you are truely a great helpfull friendly person. I hope things are working well for you too xxxxxxxxxx

Been taking st johns wort just over one week now , maybe that gives a little help too, will report on progress as switching from asda brand to sainsburys x

[PUGLETMUM]

:yesyes: so glad you are feeling better:D i think its just finding what helps you really, like ive said before everyones journey will be different:winks: its good that youve been able to maintain your freindships, dont be too harsh onthemif they ever dont understand,because sometimes they cant be there for you all the time,and if they havent experienced it,it will be hard for them, but saying that everyones human and they can still understand in the normal way?everyone knows how it feels to be down or stressed etc so they will always be able to talk about 'normal' stuff,its just that this type of stress from anxiety/panic/depression isnt 'normal' so anyone who hasnt experienced it just wont understand. although the way the world is now,and with the statistics you probably wont have to go too far to meet someone who does know how you feel - if you can get out of your house first, and then mix with people:blush: :wacko:

[Cupcakes]

hi emmas
so right about friends and understanding. Not a good day today lots of crying spells. Booked up to have a consultation with a hypnotherapist tommorow, if i can make it. i dont like to let people down but this condition makes you do just that if you let it, which i do

xxxxxxxxtc