Looking for advice on the right thing to do regarding my daughter

[BrokenGirl]

My 13 year old daughter said something strange to me yesterday and I can't get it out of my head. We were sitting down yesterday evening watching some tv and out of the blue she said to me "What's that thing called when you sleep on your arm funny?".
I said pins and needles and she said no, not that. Then I said a dead arm maybe, not even sure myself what it's called. She said maybe but not as bad. I didn't know what she was talking about so I asked her did she wake up with a dead arm this morning? I can't remember exactly what she said but it was something like not as bad as a dead arm but she had it all over. I asked her did she mean all over her body and she said yes, a kind of a weird feeling. She said it's not the first time it's happened to her but it was a bit stronger yesterday morning.
She said it goes away when she gets up and out of bed.
Inside I started panicking, thinking is it something to do with her heart and circulation or MS?
Then she said "Doesn't it happen to everyone anyway?". It's never happened to me so I wasn't sure what to say there. But yet when I asked her more about it, like how often does it happen and what exactly did it feel like, she didn't really want to talk about it, just said I don't know or I can't remember.


I mentioned it to my husband and he said it's nothing to worry about for now. He knows how bad my HA is and he said it's only a problem now in my head. IF it continues to get worse and turns into something real, then we'll get it checked out.


I'm not sure what to do here. Should I talk to her again about it or just leave it? I'm really scared what could be causing it, whatever it is.
Has anyone ever experienced anything like this?

[pulisa]

Listen to your husband and don't allow your HA to influence your thoughts. He wouldn't downplay a genuine health concern and has got you sussed as regards catastrophising.

[BrokenGirl]

Thanks Pulisa.
I've been trying to distract myself today and not think about it but it never lasts for long. The thought keeps going around in my head, wondering what caused it and how serious it could be.
One thing I won't do anyway is say it to her. I'll trust that if it gets worse then she will say it to me again (although yesterday was the first time she mentioned it to me even though it happened a few times before that).
I just can't help worrying that it might be something serious, but I also know that HA won't let me do anything other than worry.

[pulisa]

Thanks Pulisa.
I've been trying to distract myself today and not think about it but it never lasts for long. The thought keeps going around in my head, wondering what caused it and how serious it could be.
One thing I won't do anyway is say it to her. I'll trust that if it gets worse then she will say it to me again (although yesterday was the first time she mentioned it to me even though it happened a few times before that).
I just can't help worrying that it might be something serious, but I also know that HA won't let me do anything other than worry.


Your HA doesn't have a mind of its own though. You can choose whether to continue to worry or to listen to your husband's advice and make a start on challenging your HA thoughts which are very predictable.

[ankietyjoe]

I'm not sure what to do here.

Don't do anything. By not doing anything you'll actively be not passing on your HA to your daughter.


I also know that HA won't let me do anything other than worry.

Completely not true.

HA is a habitual thinking pattern. 'IT'....doesn't exist, HA is what YOU choose to focus on. I'm not suggesting it's easy to stop, but you have control over it. You have to choose not to go down the same old mental pathways and practice not going down the same route over and over again.

[Allochka]

Broken Girl, I feel for you!
I have HA, as we all here do, and lately it is always centered around my 5 year old daughter. I don’t get scared about myself or husband (who had cancer and Hep C) anymore, only daughter. This is most terrible :-(
I was exactly in your shoes last spring. Daughter asked me out of the blue “is it ok when you feel like bugs crawling under skin of your legs”? I almost fainted and started questioning her how often did it happen, etc... She didn’t like to talk about it as well. I was convinced it meant smth terrible. Husband also wasn’t impressed and shrugged off my worries. I decided to do nothing for a while, believing that if it would be serious concern, husband would never ignore it, because he loves daughter more than anything. I was also scared of passing my HA to her and avoided dragging her to doctors unecessarily
You know what? It did happen couple more times and then completely disappeared! Didn’t happen for almost a year, so definitely nothing serious. No idea what it was...
Most probably the same will happen to your daughter. Strange sensations happen to us all the time. Normal people ignore them, but we, hypochondriacs, blow them out of proportion.
Please try to do nothing for a while. If it is something worth showing to doc - it won’t go away and couple of weeks of waiting won’t change the picture and outcome. But going to doc immediately won’t be for your daughter’s benefit - just for your own reassurance and feeding HA dragon.
I bet it will pass soon. Btw, I had similar feeling after night sleep when greatly stressed. Guess I was tensing the whole body in sleep. Is your daughter going through especially stressful period? (Stupid question in times of COVID :-(