Health Anxiety and being a mother

[camsie]

Hi
I wanted to see if this resonates with anyone and also I just want to get this down on paper to make sense of it/get it out of my system.

I don't think I had health anxiety before I had kids. I don't think having kids is the reason I have health anxiety but I think it makes the anxiety one hundred times worse.

I worry so much about being diagnosed with a life changing terminal illness and leaving my kids without a mum. I can't begin to think how sad that would be for them. I would hate for them to feel that sort of pain when they are so young.
I love them so much that I would do anything for them. I would literally go the ends of the earth for them.

But there is one thing I can't control 100%. My health

Sure I can eat well and exercise ,not smoke etc but what if I am just dealt a crap hand and I am one of the poor unfortunate people who gets a horrible diagnosis and dies young.

I feel like if I had known I would feel like this before having kids maybe I would think twice. It is such a huge responsibility. If I had no kids it would be so much easier. Obviously I would HATE to get an illness but I think it would be ok if I didn't have kids depending on me. I would feel sad and all the people who love me would be sad but they would cope because they are adults.

I also feel like I am kind of destined to get something. I often think that as long as I can live till they are 18 then at least if I was to become sick and die then, they could cope with it better then. How crazy!
My husband always says that that this anxiety is the one thing that is bad for my health and that stress can really affect my well being!

I hate going to the doctor. I am so worried about being referred for further tests. I hate the thought of waiting for tests, results etc. I know how awful I would feel during that time. it is all-consuming.

Does anyone else feel like this?
What has helped you with these thoughts?
Thanks for reading!

[Blonde123]

I think being a mum makes you anxious for all the normal reasons that being a mum unfortunately bring. Being a parent is a massive and overwhelming responsibility and filled with lots of what ifs. I worry about my kids health and I remember when they were little worrying about every rash or bug they encountered. I guess it’s part of being a mum that never stops.

[Scass]

Yes I worry a lot, my health anxiety got so much worse after my parents died.

But one thing you haven’t suggested doing is trying to combat your anxiety.


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[jojo2316]

I could have written this post myself. Motherhood made my anxiety a gazillion times worse (although looking back, I now realise it has been with me since childhood). My children are a little bit older now- my youngest is 7 - and I think the most crippling anxiety episodes are a bit less frequent at the moment (though they still happen, and are still awful).
But you are certainly not alone in this fear!

[Jwilli416]

I know exactly how you feel. This is why I struggle so much honestly.. I just think of my babies and it fuels my fear. Just need to call my insurance and get preauthorized for a visit to a therapist because I can’t do it on my own.

I totally understand and feel for you.

[ErinKC]

Yes. I had small bouts of anxiety before my daughter was born but it really came on after for these exact reasons. It's mostly been under control lately but it took years if work.

I just had surgery and it was all I could panic about!