Sollace
12-02-21, 15:56
Hello everybody, it's been a while since I last posted, but I feel it might help me calm down.
About a week ago, I very stupidly slammed a door onto my fingerjoints when I was in a hurry. I was in agony for a some time, and shortly afterwards what looked like a little dark blood blister came up where the injury was. It had flattened by the next day, leaving a little dark mark that doesn't disappear when you run a glass over it. Compared to the pictures of petichae on the internet, it seems a little bit darker, but I am fairly sure that it is due to bleeding under the skin due to closing the door on my finger. Despite it being perfectly explainable, I've become obsessed with it. Constantly checking it, and clenching the finger to see if it will blanch, despite the fact I clearly know it won't. What has alarmed me recently is that I realised the finger joint is slightly swollen, and it's thrown me into a tailspin. I appreciate it almost certainly is just due to injuring myself, but I can't help but worry that it may well have happened due to some illness. I would book a remote appointment with the doctor, but I'd feel silly explaining the whole situation with them, since I know how absurd I am being (and their time could almost definitely be better spent in the current climate).
Nontheless, I still don't know what to do. I had shingles last November, and have been on edge ever since. I really want to think that this is just me, once more, obsessing over nothing, but I'll only really know for sure by seeing a doctor, and I'd feel too selfish doing that. I will probably end up booking an appointment next week, but in the meantime am pretty lost.
About a week ago, I very stupidly slammed a door onto my fingerjoints when I was in a hurry. I was in agony for a some time, and shortly afterwards what looked like a little dark blood blister came up where the injury was. It had flattened by the next day, leaving a little dark mark that doesn't disappear when you run a glass over it. Compared to the pictures of petichae on the internet, it seems a little bit darker, but I am fairly sure that it is due to bleeding under the skin due to closing the door on my finger. Despite it being perfectly explainable, I've become obsessed with it. Constantly checking it, and clenching the finger to see if it will blanch, despite the fact I clearly know it won't. What has alarmed me recently is that I realised the finger joint is slightly swollen, and it's thrown me into a tailspin. I appreciate it almost certainly is just due to injuring myself, but I can't help but worry that it may well have happened due to some illness. I would book a remote appointment with the doctor, but I'd feel silly explaining the whole situation with them, since I know how absurd I am being (and their time could almost definitely be better spent in the current climate).
Nontheless, I still don't know what to do. I had shingles last November, and have been on edge ever since. I really want to think that this is just me, once more, obsessing over nothing, but I'll only really know for sure by seeing a doctor, and I'd feel too selfish doing that. I will probably end up booking an appointment next week, but in the meantime am pretty lost.